by Chaoseternus


Ethan stepped warily out of the portal, just waiting for the shoe to drop. Looked clear… okay, if he was to be honest, he would say, looked 'futuristic'. Familiarly so…

Okay, that was a warning sign right there, but so far, no pathetic cries for help, no shouts about prophesied ones arriving, no body out to kill him, looked like this might just be a nice quiet pleasant visit.

Please please no….

He didn't just think that did he?

He did.

Fuck, he really needed to get out of this dimension. He would have to see what he could do about gathering the necessary spell components or at least something close enough that he could 'fudge' it.


"A man should not just be able to appear in the middle of an alleyway,"

"I agree my young Padawan," Qui-Gon Jinn replied, "but we have other business to attend too, the negotiations at Naboo for one."

Obi-wan nodded, "I suggest we place a tracer on our unknown visitor and inform the council before we go however,"

"A sound course of action." Qui-Gon replied, reaching into a pocket of his robes.

Okay, so no ID a definite problem, damnation, that spell to fudge some valid documents would have worked… if they hadn't been checking against a computer database. He hadn't had the time and supplies to create a magical set of IDs that would deal with that.

Naturally, the universe took advantage of that.

Okay, so he damn well knew Murphy was Chaos'es most favoured servant but still, he really wanted to know what he had done to make that…. Thing turn all his attention towards him. He hadn't done anything to deserve this at all.

Well, again, apart from all that stuff. Sheesh, would have thought he would have made up for that by now. Or perhaps they thought the needed some goodwill in hand.

Note to self, enough thinking. Thinking just leads mind to bad places… what could he possibly do that would be so bad that he would need some goodwill in hand for?

Well, this ship was apparently preparing to leave, perhaps he could stowaway and escape this miserable place on it. Assuming the guards didn't spot him…

Which they didn't.


That could only really mean one thing, couldn't it.

He was screwed again… well, not literally of course, that he might actually enjoy, unless Murphy got involved and he ended up finding himself in bed with a slime demon again.

Gah, he really needed to stop thinking.

Oh yes, and to scrub his eyeballs out with carbolic soap, anything to get rid of that last mental image…

Stuffed shirts one and two leaving vessel in their pancy robes check.

Lots of bloody robots walking around outside the ship check.

He really had stepped straight into again hadn't he?

Frying pan, meet fire, fire meet frying pan.


And wait, what was that whirring?

Were those gun turrets pointing at his ship…

Oh fuck.

"You were right master, the negotiations were…"

Obi-wan stumbled, glancing down at the battered, slightly scorched figure on the ground he had nearly tripped over.

"Is this not the gentlemen who appeared in the alleyway in Coruscent?"

Qui-gon frowned, rubbing his beard, "it is indeed. That we could meet in such unexpected fashions in two completely different places…"

"You think the force has brought this person to us for a reason?"

"Perhaps," the Jedi glanced around, "and if the droids discover him he will not receive a warm welcome. Come, we must take him with us."

Obi-wan sighed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, "this will not be easy."

In the custody of some very wary and distrustful soldiers whose world was apparently just invaded, check.

Being watched like a hawk, check.

Little opportunity to escape; checked.

Desire to escape… not checked. Look like Dune out there, all desert, no oasis's, no green, no nothing. Just sand.

If they decided to dump him here…

Well, if they did, they it might turn out to be a damn good thing he had read Frank Herbert's books and yet, those didn't seem to fit, something was still bugging him about the ship, the clothes, the manner of the two robed ones..

It would come to him eventually he was sure, in the meantime they apparently just had to wait for this Qui-Gon Jinn to return before they left but if he was seeing correctly, then they weren't far away anyway, just a matter of minutes. Time to hide and hope they didn't get the idea to chase him off the ship…

Wait, who was that coming up behind the Nancy boy?

Nice Olympic leap, he'd give him an 8.5 for that; didn't think he was friendly though, not when he was trying to put a lightsaber into his 'rescuer'.


A lightsaber.

A Bloody lightsaber.

A bloody helling lightsaber.

Son of a bitch.

That meant the bastard Qui-Gon was facing was Darth Maul, didn't it?

"You know his name?" a sharp voice said beside him, and Rayne glanced startled into the wary, piercing eyes of the handmaiden Padme… the handmaiden who right now held a pistol that wasn't quite pointed at him.


Palpatine outed, check.

Padme, handmaiden to the Queen… the new chancellor. Someone would definitely need to explain that to him again 'cos he had certainly missed something there. Opportunity to leave for his next 'exciting' adventure not yet arisen, he didn't know whether he was glad or just petrified.

Well, so long as that thrice damned and blasted green Goblin kept away from his he would be fine…

"Appropriate around younglings, your language is not."

Oh hell no…

Carbolic soap mouthwash number seventy-nine.


"Learn slow you do,"


He needed to get out of this place, seriously.

Okay, good point, he was out of the Temple of the Jedi and well, out of the entire dimension.

Bad news, he was out of that dimension.

At least there he had some idea where he was and what was likely to happen, right now he didn't have a clue.

Though he guessed the gun he could now feel pressed to the back of his head was a bad sign.

"Starbuck, got a new skinjob here!"

Wait, wasn't Starbucks…. Yehah, at least they should have a decent cuppa here. He turned and the world went abruptly black.