A Christmas Carol… Naruto style!

Hey peoples! It's my first Christmas with and so I decided to write a little Christmas fic to celebrate! Aren't I in the Christmas spirit! By the way, when I say 'A Christmas carol' I don't mean the story written by Charles Dickens. I'm talking about actual songs. You know, Jingle bells, Shika smells, Ino laid an egg! Sasuke slipped and Sakura tripped and Naruto ran away!Or…

Joy to the world! Itachi's dead! We barbecued his head!! What happened to the body? We flushed it down the potty! Round and round it goes! Round and round it goes! Around and round and round it goes!!

There's two carols for ya! This one is a little funnier. Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke make up their own Christmas carol during break. Funnier than it sounds. Lotsa humor! Tiny bit of ooc on the Sasuke part ::cough:: understatement ::cough::… just giving him some of that holiday cheer!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I own the lyrics to this song, though! Muahahahaha!!!



It was a beautiful morning. The sun was in the sky, shining down on the trees… the branches shook slightly in the wind, dropping light powdered fluff onto the ground. The frost shimmered on the windows as warm fires flickered behind them. Young children ran around outside, dodging snowballs that were thrown by their friends. Then there was the case of team 7…

"Hey, Sasuke! Think fast!"

A raven-haired shinobi ducked as a snowball flew over his head. He looked up just as another one flew past his ear.

"You're pathetic, Naruto!" He yelled to the attacker. "I'm dodging your attacks even without my Sharingan!"

"Dodge this!" A familiar female voice cried Sasuke was hit in the side of the head by an invisible attacker. "Ha! Got you, Sasuke!"

Sasuke turned in the direction of the attacker, who had stepped out of her hiding place. Her short pink hair tossed gently in the winter breeze and snow fell on the shoulders of her cozy winter coat. Sasuke scowled at the girl before him, who just giggled.

"Ha, Sasuke got hit by a girl!" Naruto teased, jumping out from behind his fortress just to rub it in. This, however was a fatal mistake, for a fresh snowball was soon planted on his forehead. The dazed ninja fell to the ground in defeat.

Yep… welcome to Christmas in Konoha.

"So…" Sakura said after the three shinobi called a truce. "Now what'll we do?"

"Well… it's almost lunchtime and Kakashi still isn't here…" Sasuke muttered as they sat in the middle of a snow fort. The trio had come to this clearing before sunrise to prepare for training and got bored, so they decided to have a little bit of fun (YES! Even Sasuke) while they waited.

"Hey!" Naruto piped up after several moments of silence. "You know how people like to change the words to Christmas songs to make them funny? Sakura and Sasuke nodded dumbly. "Well… why don't we do that? I've been dying to try it since I was little!"

Sasuke and Sakura exchanged glances. The raven-haired boy shrugged and Sakura smiled.

"Sure." Sakura replied. "What the heck? It sounds fun." Naruto grinned.

"Alright… what song should we change?"

"How about… jingle bells?" Sakura asked. The two boys shook their head.

"Nah." Sasuke muttered. "Someone's already done that." Sakura frowned.


"Deck the halls?" Naruto said hopefully. This time, Sakura and Sasuke shook their heads.

"Someone changed that one too, remember?" Sasuke said quietly. He then cringed at the thought of it. "It was really sick…"

"Well… there's always that song 'God rest ye merry gentlemen." Sakura said thoughtfully.

"But wasn't that changed to something like 'The restroom door said gentlemen?'" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow? Sakura nodded sadly. "What should we do then?" She asked with a sigh. Sasuke simply shrugged.

"Hey…" Naruto murmured. "I haven't heard one for the twelve days of Christmas…"

"Neither have I…" Sakura said in the same tone of voice.

"Same here." Sasuke added quietly.

"Alright then!" Naruto exclaimed, causing Sakura and Sasuke to fall into the snow behind them. "Twelve Days of Christmas it is!!" He stopped when a couple muffled angry voices reached his ears. "Oops… sorry…" There was a muffled alright from the pile where Sakura had fallen. The pile of snow beside her started to shift as Sasuke surfaced.

"Cold…" He muttered, fixing the scarf around his neck. He then paused. "Hey… what happened to Sakura?"

"I'm here!" Sakura's voice replied as her head popped out of the snow. "S-so c-c-cold…"

"Anyway." Naruto started, ignoring his friend's shivering. "How will the song start?

"Well… it s-shouldn't b-be the twelve d-days of Christmas-s…" Sakura stuttered, still shivering from the snow. "I t-think it should b-be about us and t-training…"

"How about the twelve days of training?" Sasuke proposed quickly, looking over at his teammate in worry. Naruto shrugged.

"Sure." He replied. He started to hum the song to himself, thinking of a way to change it. His face soon lit up in excitement. "I got it!"

On the first day of training, Kakashi made me do

"Well… if it's for training…" Sasuke said, thinking back to all of the work that they had done.

"Meditating." Sakura said quickly, breathing hot air onto her hands and rubbing them together vigorously. "It's long… and it can get really boring after a couple of hours… that's it!" She said, a grin on her face.

A long, boring meditating thing!

Sasuke couldn't help but smile slightly. "Okay… what about day two?"

On the second day of training Kakashi made me do

"Um…" Sakura seemed stumped for this one. "Let's change it from 'do' to something else… like… read!"

"Okay…" Sasuke said thoughtfully. Two lengthy scrolls

And a long, boring meditating thing!Naruto added with a grin. "Alright! Onto day three!!"

On the third day of training Kakashi made me… runSakura then shrugged. "Well, we do run a lot you know…"

"Hm…" Sasuke narrowed his eyes in thought. Three town laps.

Two lengthy scrollsSakura added.

And a long, boring meditating thing!Naruto finished.

"Well… you don't run scrolls…" Sasuke muttered. "But let's just ignore that. It's fine the way it is. Let's start on day 4."

On the fourth day of training Kakashi made me use.Naruto sang, the smile never leaving his face. Four katanas

Three town laps

Two lengthy scrolls

And a long, boring meditating thing!

"Yay!" Sakura giggled. "This is fun!"

"Now for the fifth day." Sasuke pointed out. "Isn't this the one that is different from the rest?" Sakura nodded.

On the fifth day of training Kakashi made me…

"Eat!" Naruto yelled. "This part has to be about ramen." Sakura and Sasuke gaped.

"And why is that?" Sakura asked with a scowl. Naruto simply grinned.

"You know… because it sounds all holy and stuff." He replied. "Ramen is the holy food in my diet…" Sasuke let out a sigh.

"Fine… five bowls of ramen. That's it though."

Five bowls of ramen!Naruto repeated in song. Somehow, he managed to fit all of the words together into the line so that it sounded okay. Four katanas

Three town laps

Two lengthy scrolls

And a long, boring meditating thing!The three laughed quietly at their new song.

"Okay… day six…" Sasuke bit his lip. "Hmm… we should add something about 'Icha, Icha Paradise'… but what?"

On the sixth day of training, Kakashi made me seeSakura sang quietly. She then paused. Six hentai comics!

Five bowls of ramen!Naruto sang in the same holy tune. Sakura batted him on the head lightly.

Four katanas

Three town laps

Two lengthy scrolls

And a long, boring meditating thing!

"Alright!" Naruto cheered, his fist flying into the air. "We're on a roll! Onto day seven!!"

On the seventh day of training, Kakashi made me…

"Wear." Sasuke said bluntly. "I'm running out of ideas."

Seven head protectorsNaruto sang Sakura giggled.

"I guess that works…" She said, pulling her hair back behind her ear. Six hentai comics

Five bowls of ramen!Naruto sang. There was a short pause before they continued.

Four katanas

Three town laps

two lengthy scrolls

And a long, boring meditating thing!Naruto concluded. "We're kicking ass here!"

On the eighth day of training Kakashi made me catchSakura sang. "Hmm…" She muttered, putting a thoughtful finger to her chin. "We do chase a lot of animals…"

"Let's stick with birds." Sasuke said, shaking some new fallen snow out of his hair. "We tend to chase those the most." Sakura smiled.

"Alright then… birds it is."

"I say it should be purple pigeons." Naruto pointed out.

"And why is that?" Sakura asked, brushing the snow off her mittens.

"It fits." He replied bluntly. Sakura and Sasuke sighed. There was no point competing with that.

"Alright… Eight purple pigeons

Seven head protectors

Six hentai comics

Five bowls of ramen!Sasuke and Sakura sighed as Naruto sang his favourite part.

Four katanas

three town laps

Two lengthy scrolls

And a long boring meditating thing!They all finished together.

"You know what?" Sasuke said quietly. "I can't believe I'm saying this… but we should really do this more often." He was stopped when something was plastered to his face.

"BEGONE DEMON!!" Naruto screamed as he pasted a talisman onto Sasuke's forehead. He then hit him on the back of the head with the handle of his katana. "Sakura, get one of those scrolls that will remove the demon from- OWW!!" Sasuke hit Naruto on the head… hard.

"Hmm…" Sakura mumbled, looking down at the blonde demon. "I think those seven head protectors are something you need right about now, Naruto." Sasuke chuckled lightly at her statement as he tore off the talisman while Naruto growled indignantly.

"Yeah… Har-dee-har-har-har…" Naruto snarled. "Can we just continue with the song?!"

"Fine." Sakura said hotly. "Don't get all Scroogy on us!"

"Okay, okay!" Naruto yelled, waving his hands in front of his face. "What day are we on again?"

"The ninth." Sasuke replied quietly.

On the ninth day of training Kakashi made me…er…" Naruto paused. "Hmm… now what?"

"Well…" Sakura said, looking down at her mittens, which were resting on the snow's surface. "Remember that time when we were training in the land of the waves?" The two boys nodded. "And we had to climb those trees by focusing the chakara in our feet?" The two nodded again. "Climb!" She then started to sing.

On the ninth day of training Kakashi made me climbNaruto added the next line in a matter of seconds.

Nine extra large trees

eight purple pigeons

Seven head protectors

Six hentai comics


Sasuke nudged Sakura. "Hey… is it just me, or is he getting louder with every verse?" Sakura replied with an exasperated sigh and continued with the song.

Four katanas

Three town laps

Two lengthy scrolls

And a long, boring meditating thing!They concluded simultaneously.

"Alright! Onto day ten!" Sakura cheered. "Just three more verses before we stop hearing Naruto sing about ramen!"

"Hey!" Naruto yelled. Sakura simply giggled.

On the tenth day of training Kakashi made me solveNaruto sang. He then scowled at his two friends. "You get to finish this verse." He growled.

Ten tricky questionsSakura countered with a smirk. Sasuke grinned at the shocked, orange shinobi before him.

Nine extra large trees

Eight purple pigeons

Seven head protectors

Six hentai comics

FIVE BOWLS OF RAMEN!!!Naruto literally screamed. Sasuke and Sakura both covered their ears to avoid becoming deaf.

"Okay, Naruto… will you shut up?!" Sasuke snapped. Naruto simply grinned and continued with the song.

Four katanas

Three town laps

Two lengthy scrolls

AND A LONG, BORING MEDITATING THING!!!Naruto screamed. Sasuke was hitting his ears, hoping that his hearing would come back, while Sakura steadied herself after losing her balance.

"Sasuke… did you feel the ground shake?" Sakura asked.

"What did you say?!" Sasuke said, still whacking his ears. "I didn't hear you!" Sakura sighed and hung her head.

"Okay then, Naruto." Sakura muttered. "Since Sasuke's temporarily deaf, it's going to be you and me for a bit." Naruto grinned.

"Yay!" He cheered, jumping onto his feet. "Take that Sasuke-kun!!" He added, flapping his arms like a chicken.

"What?" Sasuke said, puzzled. He let out a small yawn to pop his eardrums back into place. "That's better."

"Hey, Naruto." Sakura smirked. "Looks like it's not gonna be you and me after all." Naruto stopped his chicken dance and sat down to sulk.

"So… what day are we on?" Sasuke asked, crossing his arms.

"Um… the eleventh." Sakura said, pausing to make sure she was right. Sasuke's eyebrows raised in slight surprise.

"Really?" Naruto grinned. "Yay! Two more to go!" He then started to sing.

On the eleventh day of training, Kakashi made me… fight!!Sasuke and Sakura blinked at Naruto's line.

"Why fight?" Sakura asked.

"D'uh! Because we haven't fought yet!!" Naruto yelled. "Come on! We need to fight some time!!"

Sasuke sighed. "I guess he does have a point." Sakura nodded slightly.

"Yeah… but who do we fight?"

"Ninjas." Naruto replied, poking Sakura in the side of the head. Sasuke inched back to watch Sakura pummel Naruto from a distance. He had to admit, it was pretty funny, but he would hate to get caught in it. That would end up in a major loss of dignity.

"Hmm… who do we usually fight against during training besides each other?" Sasuke asked himself quietly. 'Enemies doesn't work… other ninjas… nah… there's always the case of doppelgangers…'

"Doppelgangers!" Sasuke exclaimed. Naruto and Sakura froze.

"Where?!" Naruto asked, adopting a fighting stance.

"Doppelgangers for the eleventh line, dope!" Sasuke snapped.

"Hmm… it does work…" Sakura murmured.

Eleven doppelgangers

Ten tricky questions

Nine extra large trees

Eight purple pigeons

Seven head protectors

Six hentai comics

FIVE BOWLS OF RAMEN!!!!!!!This time, Sakura and Sasuke were quick enough to cover their ears.

"Ow…" Sasuke muttered after opening an eye.

"I can hear my head ringing…" Sakura whimpered.

"Hey, Sakura…" Sasuke whispered. "I have an idea to stop Naruto."

"Really?" Sakura had a hopeful look in her eyes. "What is it?"

"Ahem!!" The two turned to Naruto, who was standing over them with his arms crossed. The orange ninja tapped his foot indignantly, waiting for them to continue with the song.

"Oh… sorry." Sakura said, smiling. She then continued the song. Four katanas

Three town lapsSasuke continued.

Two lengthy scrolls

And a long, boring meditating thing!!!They concluded.

"ALRIGHT!!! One more to go!!" Naruto cheered. "Now… what shall it be? We're running out of actions. We've done run… climb… fight… wear… HEY!!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!?!"

Sasuke and Sakura, who had been planning out their revenge for their deafness, turned to Naruto questioningly.

"What is it, Naruto?" Sakura asked innocently.

"So you weren't listening after all!!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing a shaking finger at the two.

"Listening to what?" Sasuke questioned. Despite the fact that he knew what Naruto was talking about, he couldn't help but tease him. It was way too amusing.

"ME!!!!!" Naruto screamed. Sasuke and Sakura covered their ears once again.

"He just keeps getting louder and louder." Sakura whined. Sasuke sighed and nodded.

"Let's just get this over with…"

"Alright!" Naruto said, punching the air triumphantly. "I already thought of the twelfth day!"

"Okay… let's hear it…" Sakura said before she and Sasuke covered their ears.

On the twelfth day of training, Kakashi made me save

Sasuke and Sakura blinked. "Are you gonna continue?" Sasuke asked.

"Well… no." Naruto replied with a grin. "I decided that you two can finish it. Call it revenge for ignoring me."

"But, Naruto." Sakura protested. "We always ign-mnph!" Sasuke quickly covered her mouth. The pink haired girl turned to Sasuke, who slid a finger across his throat as a warning. Sakura nodded. They didn't need Naruto any louder than he already was.

"Fine." Sasuke said after releasing Sakura. "Who are we supposed to save?"

"I don't know…" Sakura replied. "Villagers was my first thought, but that doesn't work."

"Genins?" Sasuke said, resting his head in his hands.

"Yeah… really stupid genins." Sakura replied.

"Okay." Sasuke mumbled. "We can add Naruto into the group anyway."

"Let's just change it to stupid ninjas, then." Sakura concluded. Sasuke shrugged.

"What the heck." Was Sasuke's only reply. They then turned back to Naruto, who was still scowling at them. Sakura sighed, silently deciding that she would sing it. But before she started, Sasuke nudged her in the arm. She turned to Sasuke, who gave her a 'don't-forget-the-plan' look. Sakura grinned, then turned back to Naruto

Twelve stupid ninjasSakura started

Eleven doppelgangersSasuke continued. Naruto was next to do his verse.

Ten tricky questions

Nine extra large trees

Eight purple pigeonsSasuke inched a tiny bit closer to Naruto, starting the plan

Seven head protectors

Six hentai comicsSasuke sang. He glanced over at Sakura, who nodded. Naruto took a deep breath just as the two dived for him. Sasuke quickly clamped a hand over his mouth as Sakura held him down.

Five bowls of ramen!!They both sang. They then released Naruto, smirking triumphantly.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" He cried, fake tears streaming down his face. "You're evil!! EVIL I say!!!" Naruto pounded his fists against the ground. Fifteen seconds passed… then thirty… then a minute. Sadly, Naruto didn't stop.

"Any changes yet?" Sakura whined after five minutes. Sasuke shook his head.

"He hasn't even started to calm down!" He replied, hitting the back his head against the wall of the snow fort.

"Ugh!! That's IT!!!" Sakura stood up, walked over to the orange shinobi, pulled out a katana, and whacked him on the head with the handle. Naruto's face went blank as he fell to the ground. Sakura smirked. "Much better." Sasuke simply gaped. Sakura was vicious!!

"Should we just finish the song?" He asked quietly. Sakura smiled and agreed.

Four katanas

Three town laps

Two lengthy scrolls

And a long, boring meditating thing.They finished together. Sasuke fell into the snow behind him while Sakura fell to her knees at his side.

"Wow…" Sasuke murmured. "I never thought that changing the words to a song would take so much out of you."

"That's what happens when you change song lyrics with Naruto." Sakura sighed. "Let us vow never to do it again."

"Hear, hear…" He agreed quietly as he put his hands behind his head. The two were silent for a while, until a familiar giggle reached their ears.

"Hee hee hee…" The two shinobi sat up as the perverted little laughs reached their ears. They watched in fury and shock as their silver-haired sensei walked into view, a new volume of Icha-Icha Paradise in his hands.

"Kakashi!" Sakura cried. "Where have you been?! It's way past noon!!"

Kakashi looked up from his comic, a hint of surprise in his visible eye.

"Sasuke! Sakura! What are you two doing here?" He asked with a smile.

"Waiting for you, duh!" Sakura retorted. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Then it hit him.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" He exclaimed. "Didn't you hear? The Christmas holidays started a day early for everyone! You weren't supposed to come!"

Sakura and Sasuke gaped at their teacher. Naruto, who had just woken up, had heard the news as well and was soon gaping too.

"DIE, KAKASHI SENSEI!!!" The first snowball was fired by none other than Naruto. "You will PAY for making us stay out in the snow all day!!!" The second shot was fired from behind the fort. Sasuke and Sakura soon joined in pummeling their teacher, getting revenge for the lack of information.

"No!" He cried. "Not the Icha-Icha Paradise!" Everyone ignored him and continued attacking. Sasuke even used his Sharingan for the occasion. They only stopped when their teacher was buried to the neck with snow.

"Well…" Sakura started, clapping the snow off of her hands. "That was quite a bit of work."

"Ramen anyone?" Naruto asked with a grin. The two shrugged and followed the orange ninja into the village.

"You know… the song would be easier to remember if Kakashi had just made us eat ramen."

"Oh no!" Sasuke shoved a snowball into his friend's mouth.

"Not after all that shit!" Sakura agreed. The three laughed and continued into town, singing their new song.

On the first day of training, Kakashi made me do

A long, boring meditating thing!!!


Tada!! Finally done! You wouldn't believe how hard I worked on this. This is one of two Christmas fics I own. The second one is called 'Happy Holidays!' I hope u review both of them!

Yes, well guess what?! I discovered another game!! I know, I know. You're gonna kill me for this… but for Star Ocean lovers, I'm writin' a fic!! ::Jumps around, cheering:: Albel RULES!!! YAAAAAH!!!

Oh, by the way, does anyone know what lub dub means? I'm not sure if they say it in the anime, but it is in the manga. It's really been naggin' at me and I REALLY wanna KNOW!!! WAAAAH! HELP PLEASE!!!

Okay, I'm done.