The Genesis of The Beginning part 6 of 7

PG-13 for :: Insane!Vincent; more future events dreaming-like-stuff, and Melodrama

Notes: And now Vincent spirals into melodrama ... and knows it. Yeah, at this point, tense is really screwed over -- mostly because Vincent's gone looney and he's covering background while babbling incoherently -- or something. Oo

.:.:..It's not an optical illusion, it just looks that way .:.:.

So many things have happened, the whole time a blue of confusion, pain, and rage. Aeris' death was no surprise to Vincent; knowledge that Cloud was supposed to be as Sephiroth seethes; he aches because of Cloud's confusion. The pain and rage seethed the most when they found Cloud again, and he was bound to a wheelchair, head flopping uselessly. Vincent was sickened.

He tries to escape this self-destruction, but it forces him on as he does more. He does more to try to escape this destruction, his fury and agony of Cloud's situation . . . the circle is spiraling out of control. But that time in Mideel . . . they assumed that Tifa was the only one who cared that much -- his mask is too good? -- But . . . She is the one who brought him back. Cured him of confusion. He could not do that. He only destroyed everything: those he cared about and myself. This needless angst does not help.

Finding his reason to fight Sephiroth was easy. For Cloud, to keep him alive, so he could be okay. So that he could have a family. And then Vincent could . . .

He could what?

What would he do?

Hide in his coffin again?

Useless.

Don't think that far ahead, he warns himself. Keep Cloud alive. Focus on that.

So Vincent came back -- returned to the ship. He saw them, the two of them, Tifa and Cloud.

He seethed and smoldered in his own agony and pain and . . .

Destruction.

He relishes the feelings . . .

Oh, oh, oh! How he loved playing martyr . . . yes, yes, pretty Vincent, throw yourself over the edge, no one will notice, no one will hear you scream . . .

Can't escape this cycle, it's taking him over. He's withdrawn greatly from the group.

So cold? Yes, he supposes is. It's not your fault though, at least not directly . . . or maybe he just chooses to see it that way. Sorry, pretty eyed creature, he doesn't want to be this way . . . Or do he?

Doesn't matter. Everything ends . . .

It's all just a matter of time for us . . . hwahahah . . .

Time blurs, everything blurs, becomes one big glazed over mess of twisted feelings.

. . . Does he dream? . . . is this a nightmare? . . . Again? Please, not again . . . .

Immersed in darkness . . . clawing at the lid . . . Do you dream, little experiment, little failure? Oh, but you aren't! You are better . . . much better than anything our 'father' has ever done -- do you have a coffin, too? Do you claw at it --like I do? -- Let him out . . . please? -- The lid moves . . .

But . . .

"Lucrecia?"

Smiles, all smiles, hand on his face . . .

Darkness . . . and alone . . .

"The world will end. It dies, and everything with it . . . and it will be a better place because there will be no suffering . . . no hatred . . . nothing." he's barely aware that he's spoken out loud . . . "However . . ."

He doesn't get to finish the thought.

SMACK!

His cheek stings, particularly because he did not let his head swivel with the blow. He looks down -- aww . . . are you angry, little tiny human? Oh, but you should be happy! You have . . . what I want . . . Why do you glare at me, little girl? . . . are you angry? . . . What I said made you cry . . .

He hurt you, hadn't he? . . . So easy . . .

"SHUT UP!"

Little girl is so angry . . . she howls and screams at him, little one . . .

Delicate . . .

Fragile . . .

Easy to break . . .

Slip and crack . . .

Shatter and disappear . . .

But he can't . . .Why?

He has eyes for you . . .

Look! He's gathering emotion . . . more and more . . . like a ripple, like a snowball . . . as an avalanche . . .

Everyone's nice to her, little girl . . . Cloud's girl . . . her Cloud . . . rage, pain . . . frustration.

Destruction.

He thirsts to kill and red and tear . . .

But he doesn't . . . Because he can't . . . Because . . .

He is watching . . .

So lucky . . . she is, little human . . . what happens when . . . in the future . . . she has his child, human and --?

. . . a child of Jenova . . .

. . . a second Sephiroth, Tifa-girl. Like the one who killed her father . . .

"How could you say such a thing?!" Rage-rage-rage . . . Tifa-girl . . . "We're fighting to save this planet! As long as we're still alive, there is a chance! There's HOPE! And Life, because Life, no matter how hard it is, is better than Death."

Or sleeping? Is that what she is trying to say, the Tifa-girl? . . . Don't mock him . . . Tifa-girl . . . He hates her as it is . . . and she hates him . . . because . . .

Did she see him look at him? . . . Mirroring her look? . . . lovesick and alone . . . Ch' . . . no worries . . . he does not care for him . . . only her . . . he only has eyes for her . . .

and yet . . .

She's been so bad to him . . .

He thinks there are so many things wrong with him . . . because of her . . . because of that town . . . Nothing wrong with him, and he thinks there is . . . because he know his memories now . . . in that mako-poisoned nightmare, Jenova called to him . . . he heard . . . he saw . . . why did she do that? . . . she hurt him . . . why? . . . and he only has eyes for her . . .

When has anyone only had eyes for him? . . .

This life better than death . . . ch' . . .

She thinks so? She would, she has Cloud, remember? Some people don't have others to care about them . . .

Did he push them away? . . . Did he push them away because they didn't? . . .

Silly Tifa-girl . . . Thoughtless words, thoughtless action . . . He's not emotionless, not by far.

"Just because you're miserable and indifferent doesn't mean you can let the rest of us who DO care die!"

This is so boring, Tifa-girl. Look . . . She's made his emotions go away . . . Why does she ask questions when he is not listening? Everyone wants an answer, but he has none because he does not know the question . . .

He sighs internally. Indifference is a wonderful thing when you're experiencing it . . . "You are your life experiences . . . " He says offhandedly as he wanders away slowly, not even feeling spunky enough to jump the stairs. "I am as I was treated . . . am treated . . ."

"We showed you compassion!" she screams after him. He pauses just before the stairs.

"And I'm fighting for a cause I do not believe in." he answers calmly and saunter down the stairs.

Now he feels horrible. He didn't mean to fight in front of Cloud. He has enough to worry about. Wretched creature, Vincent grouses at himself as he steps outside. Stupid wretched creature striking out at what makes your cared-for happy . . .

"Nothing's left." He repeats, still vainly trying to tell the world what he thinks of this mess. He speaks on, telling the open air, the empty space, "But . . . not in this lifetime. Not while there are good people here."

And the emptiness answers, "You will live beyond these people . . ."

"Doesn't matter. If I live until the end of the universe . . . I am cold, indifferent, miserable," anger is sweeping over him quicker than he could fight it, and his voice rises, wailing. "You heard her! I don't have a reason! I have nothing but a death-wish! Do your WORST! I don't care anymore. If these genetics mean that I can't be killed, just suffer forever, SO BE IT!"

This wail tries to echo back to him, but it fails. He's screaming, but his echo is muttering, half-hearted.

"Just- . . ." He grips the railing tighter. "Just let these people live. They are good people . . . they try . . ."

"Silly . . . little . . . self-destructive . . . foolish demon . . ."

He sighs. He's not emotionless, he's not indifferent; far from it. He just . . .

"Hides." He mutters to myself. "That was so damned melodramatic . . . So stupid." Drama, for nothing, because all his emotions swell back into him like the tide. The wind swirls around him, picking up his cloak and tugging it over the edge, dragging toward the waters below. Insanity?

"Come . . ." A voice whispers cruelly. "Come, enjoy, no one would notice . . . none would care ..."

He lean out further, peering into the face of . . . something . . . "Is it myself? Am I dragging myself into insanity? Or is it the situation?" He query, blinking crimson eyes. He knows of the alien cells in his body, but he'd never heard Sephiroth before -- never felt the need or the summoning to travel to the north before.

He sits up, confused, blinking. What's going on? Looks around the room, and its then that he notice the skeleton next to him in bed. From the clothes he know it to be Cloud. Darkness swirls around, and that vision is lost and another appears.

Warm lips on his, skin brushes skin. Bright blue eyes glowing, and then a dagger dives into his chest.

He gives a startled cry and tumble backwards over the railing, his cloak tangles with his legs, his own hair blinds him, and when he finally gets a clear view, he's feet away from the water that's not, and then he hits, and sinks.

Down, fills his lungs, cold like ice and hot like fire, screaming, but nothing happens, eyesight blurs, a burning pain in his chest . . .

". . . tried to commit suicide . . ."

Vague drifting . . .

"-right over a mako pool . . ."

"-wonder he survived . . ."

Wait . . . confusion. These memories are not his to remember . . . they blur and mingle with his nightmares . . .

He open his eyes, and there is everyone, standing before him. And . . . himself . . . face red with twisted feelings, angry, his eyes glaring at nothing, to nowhere . . .

And he wakes up to realize that nothing has happened, that its just the day after Aeris and Cloud's day walking in the village . . . however . . .

At this memory, He seethes.

And likes it . . .

.:.:.TBC.:.:.

Author Spoofing:

Reason

Finding his reason to fight Sephiroth was easy. For Cloud, to keep him alive, so he could be okay. So that he could have a family. And then Vincent could . . .

He could what?

What would he do?

Hide in his coffin again?

Useless.

Cloud DID burn it, after all . . .

Justi: -.- pyro.

Cloud: OO Am not! (couch behind him bursts into flame.)

Vincent: ... ... ... (arches eyebrow)

Cloud: (sweatdrop) ... no comment.

Narcissism

Oh, oh, oh! How he loved playing martyr . . . yes, yes, pretty Vincent, throw yourself over the edge, no one will notice, no one will hear you scream . . .

Justi: -.-U wow, talk about narcissism ...

Vincent: ... ... ... I am pretty.

Justi: ... okay, yes, Cloud is definitely more masculine than you! And here I was, planning for you to be Seme!

Vincent: ... ... ... (shoots Justi)

Crossover a.k.a WTF?Oo

Why do you glare at me, little girl? . . . are you angry? . . . What I said made you cry . . .

He hurt her, hadn't he? . . . So easy . . .

Farfello: Stealing lines hurts God. (shoots Vincent)

Vincent: ... ... ... (blinks at the hole in his chest) ... ... ... (eye twitches)

Farfie: ... ?

Vincent: (turns into Chaos and swallows Farfie)

Everyone else: OO

Chaos: ... Hwahahahah! Yummy ....

Everyone: X.x

Eyes

Easy to break . . .

Slip and crack . . .

Shatter and disappear . . .

But he can't . . .Why?

Cloud: SEE?! (holds up her father's eyes) n.n

Tifa: OO (faints)

Vincent: ... ... ... Hehehe ... ... ...

Everyone: Oo

Prettier

Tifa-girl ... He hates her as it is . . . and she hates him . . . because . . .

Tifa: YOU'RE PRETTIER THAN I AM! WAH! (bawls her eyes out)

Everyone: Oo

Vincent: ... ... ... ... Its true ... ... ...

Everyone: -.-U

Compassion

"We showed you compassion!" she screams after him. He pauses just before the stairs.

"... sorry ...." he shoots her.

Everyone: Oo

Vincent: What? I said everything was better when everyone's dead! Compassion, man! COMPASSION!

Everyone: ... O.O

Fangirls

The wind swirls around him, picking up his cloak and tugging it over the edge, dragging toward the waters below. Insanity?

Fangirls: WE LOVE YOU! (drags him over the railing by his cloak)

Vincent: ... ... ... ... I feel ... indifferent. (shoots them)

It was tough for me to decide whether or not I wanted this in First-Person or Third. In Frist, its a lot easier to write Psychotica. In Third, I don't feel as much n the character's head, and so I can't write it as well. But I tried! For you! I tried!

My favorite Out-take was the one with the eyes. As a matter of fact, it was the very first I wrote, and sparked me to write others. (Yes, that does mean that I had these meany chapters written before posting any. n.nU I generally do that because I need good responses, and no one generally gets outstanding begging to continue on the first chapter.)

For any wondering, I generally ignore Vincent's Chaos Limit Break, and will always default to the Galian Beast for his Limit Break, while the others will mostly have their last Limits. I generally do this because I feel that Galian is a much better limit than any of the others, and this one Chaos/Cloud doujinshi scared me for life. It wasn't the scariest pic I've ever seen, but scarring all the same.

Please leave a rant after the snide remark!

And may I say you're looking lovely today!