ok guys this is it.. the final chapter.thanks for all the feedback..and a big thanks to maddy, cat, erin and pao..! u guys rock... sorry i haven't updated i was just scared. this chapter was like my whole reason for writing and i'm so glad i did. so i needed it to be perfect even though after many hours of writing .. i stil dont think it is. so please review tel me what you think!
Ch. 8: what's love gotta do with it? EVERYTHING!
Driving to Lorelai Gilmore's house, Luke was terrified. He hadn't seen or spoken to lorelai since he left Thursday night, it was now Monday. Actually it was 3 o'clock Tuesday morning, but he didn't bother with time anymore. Once he left he felt no need to know the day or time or the recent baseball scores. It was pitch black outside and it seemed as if every light in star's hollow was off. Every one that is except lorelai's bedroom light. He pulled into her driveway quietly and that was the first thing that caught his eye. Lorelai Gilmore's bedroom light. The place he had spent so much nights, legs tangle tight.
Luke knew from the moment he saw lorelai that it was impossible not to fall in love with her. But he never knew he could fall this deep or this hard. Everything he saw somehow reminded him of lorelai. It was always in the back of his mind that lorelai was the one, but Luke never wanted to say anything because he thought she would get scared and run. But now he couldn't hold it in any longer he had to be truthful and tell her what was his heart's desire, HER forever and always.
Luke opened the door to his truck and hopped out. Shutting it quietly he inhaled a deep breath. He stood there silently and shut his eyes, remembering what he had planned on saying. He proceeded to her front door but when he was walking up the steps he noticed a figure out of the corner of his eye. Creeping over to the swing trying to make out the shady figure Luke slowly began to realize it was Lorelai. Her knees were pulled to her chest with her arms wrapped around her ankles and her forehead smushed against her kneecaps. A light blanket covered her shoulders gently. As Luke came closer to lorelai's sleeping body the one thing that stood out was a book. But it wasn't a reading book or a magazine kind of book it was more of a journal. Luke had never thought of lorelai as a journal writing type of woman but then again he didn't know everything about her. He just stood there and smiled as he saw the woman he loved before him. Lorelai began to stir and Luke suddenly became frightened again. This was it, either she would forgive him and they could move on or she would hate him forever.
Lorelai, still groggy with her eyes shut, began to move inhaling and exhaling loudly. She lifted her head and opened her eyes to find a tall; sleepy eyed restless looking prince in front of her. She jumped slightly but then realized it was HER prince, Luke. Her curly hair was big and fizzy sticky out in every direction. Her eyes were swollen, puffy and red, and her clothes hardly matched. Both just staring at each other, not sure of what to say.
"luke.." her voice cracked as she barely whispered his name. She shut her eyes trying to hold back the tears but she couldn't resist, they began to flow. Luke's heart sunk at the very moment. He sat down next to her and spoke.
"aww lorelai, I don't… want you to cry…I have a lot to tell you." He placed his hand on her back and she flinch slightly at his touched, but a sensation ran through her body. A sensation that only Luke could make her have.
She sniffled, " I have a lot to say too, but that's nothing new to you." She said sarcastically trying to lighten the moment.
"Hey, why is your bedroom light on when you're out here?"
"umm I really don't know. I can't remember. It's been awhile since I slept so I'm not really on the ball lately." She turned and faced him. He went to speak but she beat him to it. "Luke.." she trailed off afraid of what she might say. " Watch out for Rory she said she's gonna kick your ass."
"great so not only do you hate me but I guess the whole town does to."
"I can't do this!" she said loudly getting up quickly and entered the house.
"Lorelai!" he said following her.
She stomped through the front door and entered the living room taking a seat on the couch. She put her head in her hands as Luke sat down next to her. Trying to stay calm she lifted her head, her eyes meeting his, she muttered, "I can't pretend I didn't lie in bed everyday since you left thinking that I would never see you again. I can't put on this act like I'm alright when really inside it's killing me to even look you in the eye. I'm so glad that you came back, but I can't bury all those thoughts and feels that were running through me the whole time you were gone. The one thing I can do is listen. I NEED you to tell me everything, Luke. Why did you leave? What were you thinking? How did you feel? If you can't do that then please leave. But if you can, you tell me and I'll give you something that will explain everything on my part."
Luke sat there taking everything in and not saying a word. Lorelai was beginning to get nervous, afraid that she might have said too much. Suddenly Luke rose. Lorelai's head fell thinking she had blew her last chance with the man she loved. But to her surprise he didn't leave. Instead he moved in front of her so he was sitting on the coffee table. Lorelai let out a big sigh of relief.
Hitting him on the arm she joked, " don't do that you jackass!"
Turning serious, Luke placed his manly hands on her knees. "Ok first of all I have to say I'm so sorry. I mean it, I'm sorry for everything. I didn't mean to freak out on you at the inn, and then leave you, that's not me, but something happened and I had to take care of it." She touched his face staring into his deep blue eyes listening contently. " I really don't know what came over me at the inn. I was just kinda hurt when I said I love you and you looked all freaked like it didn't mean anything to you. After that I just drove for like 3 hours straight, and I had no clue where I was going. I couldn't stop thinking about you and how I must of hurt you so bad with all that I had said."
"You did, it hurt so much, but I hurt you just as bad." Lorelai whispered with tears gliding down her cheeks.
"And then finally I stopped driving and I ended up at sniffy's which was just the icing on the cake from hell." She laughed a little but still engrossed in his story. "My phone rang and it was jess. He was in New York again and got it to some money problems. Some guys were after him and if he didn't get the money by the night they would have hurt him or even killed him. So I had to go. But I came here first to see you. I just couldn't tell you. I saw how hurt you were and I regretted even coming knowing that it would hurt you more when I left. But you have to understand that it was killing me to know that you were hurting and I was the one who caused it. I watched those others guys hurt you and I promised myself AND you that I wouldn't be one of those guys. And then I broke my promise. I'm so sorry. And the whole time I just kept thinking of my life without you. I've been so miserable, and seeing you now crying it breaks my heart. Lorelai I love you with every ounce of my body. I will never hurt you again." Luke was about to continue but his eyes were glazed over with water and a finger silenced him from talking anymore. Lorelai quickly got up and went outside returning in a matter of seconds. She headed Luke the book he had noticed earlier.
A little confused Luke questioned, "What's this?"
"Ok well you see, I've always sucked at relationships and ran from my feelings, you know the story. Anyway I didn't want that to happen between us, and I knew I couldn't say everything I was feeling so I decided after our first date that I would keep a journal of all my feelings and thoughts about you and even us." Luke went to open it but she quickly shut it. "I'm not done yet. I don't want you to hate for what's in there. It was extremely selfish of my to keep my feelings from you but I don't wanna do it anymore. After you left I was.. a mess. And then I found this book because It had been bury in the mess that I called life. Once I found it all those feelings rushed back into me and if it weren't for the book I would still hating you right now. After that I wrote every single emotion that I was feeling about you leaving. And I just couldn't stop and that's when you found me on the porch. So I want you to read it."
Taking a deep breath Luke lifted the cover. This emotion filled ledger wasn't extremely large; it was basically your regular journal size except it was covered in hello kitty stickers. Every page in the book had writing on it. Some pages had little drawings, a few had pictures, but most were covered in writing. Lorelai's eyes never left him as he read through each page. It took lorelai over 9 months to write all that was in her journal but it only took Luke 20 minutes to read it. When he finished his face was blank and lorelai's mind was racing and her heart was pounding.
"Luke say something," She begged.
"Why couldn't you tell me that you loved me from our first date? Why didn't you say I love you when I was actually awake instead of when I was sleeping?" Luke asked looking her hard in the eyes.
"I don't know. With you everything is so different. I wanted to tell you so many times and I tried so hard, I just didn't want to ruin this. So instead of telling you I would say it while you were sleeping or whispered it after you hung up the phone." She said straining to find the right words. "but now I want to tell you everything."
Luke saw the look on her face while talking and immediately knew how she felt. Hell he had been hiding his feeling for her for eight years. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. He whispered softly in her ear "tell me everything now."
"God I love you so much. Ha, I sorry for the last couple of pages where I repeatedly called you asshole! I have to tell you something." Her face switched from joking to serious in two seconds flat.
"ook" Luke said concerned.
"When you were gone I had so much time to think. I kept thinking about how my life was so good with you in it. It was like with you my world was full of brilliant colors, but as soon as you left all I saw was black and white. I cried so much that I thought my eyes were gonna fall out. You left me defenseless dependent and alone, and I hated you for it. Then I realized I wasn't really hating you I was hating myself for driving you away. I'm sorry for everything and I never wanna be without you again. So…" she locked eyes with him and kneeled in between his legs. "Luke will you marry me? I need you in my life; you open my eyes to so many things I never thought possible. You're my reason for loving. Please be my husband?" She asked with a shy grin on her face.
Shaking his head, "You are completely crazy, but god damn I love you for it. Of course I'll marry you. You just had to beat me to it didn't you."
"You do you mean?"
Luke pulled a small velvet box from his pant pocket. "I was planning on giving you this." He opened the box revealing a beautiful diamond engagement ring. He quickly shut it causing her to jump slightly, "but now you don't get it. Where's my ring?" he asked jokingly.
"lukkee!" she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him for the first time in almost a week. " god that feels so right" she said pulling her lips from his.
Taking her left hand he slipped the ring on her finger. "I love you, and I'll never stop loving you." With those last words he scooped her up and carried her to their bedroom, where the night was filled with passion and an overwhelming love that flowed between the two of them.