Chapter 4

Musings

I raced back to my rooms, truly scared for the first time since I had arrived here. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to go back to the Decepticons and their way of life. For the first time since my mother's disappearance I was happy, I had friends, I liked the way things worked here. Though I knew it wouldn't last, the fact the Master Galavtron had taken this long to retrieve me was shocking. I had expected him to come for me within a day of arrival here. He only viewed me as a slave, but I was still his property and the one thing I know about him above all else is that he never lets go of what is his.

I throw myself down on my recharge berth trying to figure this all out, from getting separated from Scourge and winding up with the Autobots, to finding out that I had a real name. Not just a nick name but a real name, something that could earn my freedom if I was brave enough to use it, but I'm not brave I'm just a lost slave. 'Slave' I used to know what that meant, what my place was in the cycle of things, but ever since I came here a whole new way of life has opened up for me. My new friends here among the femmies have shown me that, and I have begun to wonder if I could finally find my way to freedom. But when I remember that he will be coming for me and that there is nothing the Autobots will be able to do to stop him because I was his and will always be his. That is the way of the slave.

I turn over and face the wall just staring at it thinking that this wall was just like my life, empty off all things that I once thought I could get as a sparking in those first happy years with my mother before she vanished and I was turned over to Galvatron. I had once wondered what had happened to my carrier and dreamed of the day she would come and get me out of this life, but as time went on I learned that dreams were not for my kind… No my kind was made for obedience and to please our masters, not for dreaming.

I glance at the door when I hear the chimes go off and the voices of my friends…. Then it dawns on me, can I really call them my friends? I know that they were asked to help me, they were probably told to befriend me so that I would feel more at ease. I turn back to the wall ignoring their attempts to get me to come out. I heard Metroplox beep at me from the council; I ignored him for a second as well.

"I don't want to talk with anyone Metro." I say

I get his acknowledgement and after a few moments I heard Raven call in that if I needed anything to just let her know. 'Ya sure' I think, ' let her know what I need? That's impossible.' For what I need... no what I want. I can't really say it's something I need, cuz my kind doesn't have needs our only job is to please our masters. I roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling. But was that what I really wanted? I think about it for a second… 'Think about that.' I have to smile at that though. Slaves aren't supposed to think; no we follow orders, do our master's bidding, never questioning them. But I guess that's always been my biggest fault, I like thinking, have all my life. It's something my master has never been able to get rid of in me. In my thoughts, I'm free. In my thoughts, I can be anyone or anything never having to question why I am here or why I have to be this thing that is expected of me. I guess that's why I have been able to adapt here so well, I might have been a slave in body but in my mind I always dreamed of flying away, someplace safe, someplace I was truly cared for. Ya, I could tell her what I needed but it wouldn't make any difference, in the end I will wind up in the same place I started: back with my master.

I close my optics and try to get some recharge, but that one face keeps flashing across my mind. I've begun seeing him every time I close my optics. The one thing I want more then anything else in this whole world… no in this whole universe, is him. Sighing I online my optics again as I stand up and go over to my computer, no not mine; their computer, I'm only borrowing it for a bit. Sitting down I pull up the web site I'm looking for, who'd have guessed that almost all the Autobots would have one, but I am only looking for one website. I smile as an image of Rodimus in a battle pose appears on the screen. I sit there for who knows how long just browsing the site's picture collection. Yes, this is the one thing that I want more than anything else in my life, to be with him. But I know it will never happen, one, I doubt I will be staying here that long, and two… why would he ever want to be with someone like me…. No, it is best that I never tell anyone about this, lest my master finds out and that would be my death sentence. I will just have to do my best to ignore these feelings I have for him, but I guess it doesn't hurt to look….

I sit there for a while longer just exploring the site when there is another chime from my door, at first I plan on ignoring it until I hear Alita's voice through the door.

"Star, I know you don't want to be bothered but I need to speak with you."

I quickly close out of the website and walk over to the door opening it, stepping back to let her in. Nodding to me as she walked in noticing the computer was on which made her smile, happy that I wasn't just sitting in here doing nothing. She turned to look at me.

"I have been talking with the Primes and we have decided that it's time for you to be more formally introduced to Earth. So you will be accompanying Rodimus Prime and a group of Autobots to a small fundraiser." She looks up before laughing, "Though once word gets out that it will be Rodimus not Optimus who will be attending it might turn in to a slightly larger gathering then originally planned. Rodimus is quite popular with the younger generations." She looks at me but I refuse to meet her optics but she does see a small smile appear on my face. "Now as I was saying you will be joining up with them, so you must be ready in the morning, I will have Raven come pick you up since she will be going as well." I nod, "Yes, ma'am." She smiles sadly at me before excusing herself; I lock the door the flop back on my bed with a groan. How the hell am I supposed to survive tomorrow spending all day in 'HIS' company? Well at least I already picked out my second alt form so I will be able to travel on the ground tomorrow. I curl up on my berth ready to slip into recharge knowing that my whole night will be filled with him. Not that I mind one bit, my last thoughts as I slipped into recharge were, 'I hoped I can make it tomorrow without staring at him too much'.


Well there it is sorry for the lateness hope u can forgive….. Ok really late lateness :P. Again sorry but I hope u like this chapter, and don't worry her name will be revealed in hopefully the next chapter, if it all comes together the way I'm planning. So please R&R and let me know what you think. I will be working on my other stories now that I find I have time for them. So hopefully I will be posting soon, though I am going on vacation next week so who knows? I will try to get another chapter out before then… hopefully.