Love Knows No Circuits
This was a challenge fic that I issued to Amys, the Elvish Lady. It sort of... backfired on me though... nervous laugh
Challenge: Write a yaoi fic with R2-D2 and C-3PO as a couple.
"Artoo, I don't care what you say: I'm not cooking! We don't need food anyway, and Master Luke says he's perfectly fine making his own meals for himself." Threepio squawked in indignation. Artoo made a low, whining sound, which made Threepio jump.
"What in heaven's name do you mean 'A romantic night for the two of us'?" He snorted, turning on his metallic heels and starting to wobble away when Artoo rolled up alongside Threepio, effectively blocking him from going any further. The astromech droid knew very well that Threepio was just trying to play hard-to-get and Artoo wasn't going to stand for it... even if he didn't really STAND...
"For one thing, it's not normal for droids to have feelings at all. For their masters, perhaps, but certainly not for eachother. For another, I am programmed for protocol and etiquette. It simply isn't proper for such... behaviors. Why, in human beings, it's practically considered a mental disease." Threepio humphed to Artoo's protests, though the golden droid DID almost trip when Artoo brought up the subject of their master's mate.
"THAT is an entirely different subject: Master Luke has VERY good sense in these matters and it's not our place to question." Threepio replied, curtly, ignoring the 10 year age difference between the two humans in question.
You're avoiding the point.> Artoo accused his counterpart with a series of clicks and beeps, Besides, we've been together since the day you were completed. Remember that?>
If Threepio could have, he would have blushed.
I must admit, you looked rather good, naked.> Artoo added. Threepio rounded on Artoo in a mock rage.
"Oh, stop it, you clanging, spluttering bucket of bolts." Threepio demanded, slamming one of his metal arms down on Artoo's domed top, to which Artoo accused Threepio,
Wife beater!> And with that, the silver and blue astromech droid spun and rolled away, knowing full well that Threepio would follow him.
"Now, Artoo... don't be like that! Come back! I didn't mean it!" Threepio protested, chasing after his counterpart, his arms flailing, "You know I love you!"
Artoo spun around to face Threepio again.
Kiss?> Artoo asked. Threepio started to splutter again.
"Well... I... quite technically, that IS anatomically impossible with us..." Threepio defended himself. Artoo snorted.
Kiss!> He insisted. Threepio sighed and bent over at his waist, scraping the part of his mechanical, humanoid face that would have been a mouth over the spot on Artoo's dome that he had smacked. Such was their version of a kiss.
Around the corner of the door way, Luke Skywalker and his lover were spying on the two droids, the younger of the two obviously finding the whole affair HILARIOUS beyond all reason and on the floor, laughing. Luke, himself, was quite amused.
"If I hadn't seen that with my own two eyes, I never would have believed it." Skywalker muttered. Two gray eyes smiled up at him from the floor.
"Hate to say I told you so, but I told you so." His lover said, still grinning. Luke grinned back.
"Indeed you did."
Mission: Mind-blowing success!
Yes! They are OOC! Yes! This did get written in five minutes! Yes! I was up until my alarm clock read midnight! Yes! I am insane!