Disclaimer: I own nothing. As usual.
OK, here is how this story is going to work. For the next twelve days I will post one chapter. The last will be posted on Christmas Eve. This is my gift to everyone at the Raven & Beast Boy 'Shippers United Board. Love you all, guys!
"Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the waaaaaaaaaay!" Raven winced as Beast Boy's voice pelted out the Christmas tune. He flipped a pancake (vegetarian of course) and grinned at her across the counter.
"Come on Raven! 'Tis the season to be jolly!"
"I see nothing jolly about it." She told him.
"Snow, presents, marshmallows over the fire-"
"Noise, commercials, colds…" She shot back at him. He pulled a face.
"Candy, Christmas Trees."
"Black ice, chilblains."
"Carol singers!" Raven replied. Beast Boy rolled his eyes.
"Geez Raven, you're even grumpier than usual."
Raven looked at him plainly.
"I don't see any reason for us to celebrate Christmas. I've got you singing raucously in one ear and Starfire demanding to know why we have murdered a tree and displayed it's corpse in the living room in the other. Meanwhile, Robin has been at a meeting with Bruce Wayne for the past five hours and Cyborg is sulking because his car won't start in this cold. What am I not supposed to be grumpy about?"
Beast Boy eyed her for a moment.
"Those are all extremely valid points. But you're forgetting one major thing that makes Christmas worth it…"
"And that is?"
"Mince Pies!" He pulled a tray of them out and shoved one at her. She stared at him.
"Beast Boy, you're a vegetarian! How can you eat Mince Pies?"
"Easy. I didn't use real meat."
"So… it's basically just a pie?"
"Pretty much." Beat Boy grinned. Raven sighed.
"I'm not hungry."
"Aw, come on Raven. Please?" He gave her a puppy dog look. This look was particularly enhanced by turning into a puppy. Raven groaned.
She took one and took a tiny bite. To her surprise it tasted pretty good. Beast Boy watched hopefully.
"What do you think?"
"It's pretty good…what's in it?"
"Tofu. I swear, there is nothing you can not make with Tofu!" Beast Boy said, cutting out gingerbread men. Raven watched in slight amusement.
"Since when did you become a chef?"
"Hey, there's a lot you don't know about me, baby. I'm a mysterious guy." Raven was bemused, both by being called baby (an absolute first) and by Beast Boy thinking he was mysterious.
He slid the gingerbread men into the oven and pulled out some chocolate chip cookies.
"And who exactly is going to eat all this?" Raven asked. Beast Boy shot her a look.
"Don't worry about that. Just make sure it all tastes good. Here, try a cookie." He shoved one into her mouth. She took it, biting a piece off.
"OK, when did you become a good chef?"
"Hey! You said you liked my tofu burger."
"No, I said it had an interesting texture. I never said I liked it."
Beast Boy nibbled a cookie and then started to weigh out ingredients.
"What are you making now?" Raven asked in despair.
"A Christmas Cake."
"And after that, a trifle."
"Beast Boy, you can't keep cooking! We haven't got enough space for all of this stuff."
"I said I would handle it! Now, do you want to help me cook or are you just going to eat all of my cookies?"
Raven realised she had been snacking on the cookies. She dropped the one she had just picked up.
"Neither. I'm going to meditate."
"Whatever. Catch you later." Beast Boy said absentmindedly, sieving flour. Raven rolled her eyes and went to her room.
When Raven emerged three hours later, Robin had returned from his meeting and was consoling Starfire.
"Star, it's OK."
"No! It is not OK! It is wrong and terrible!" The red-haired Tamaranian objected. Raven sat down in her previous seat and looked across at Cyborg and Beast Boy.
"Is she still going on about the Christmas Tree?"
"Yup." Cyborg replied, sampling a gingerbread man.
"Starfire, it's supposed to be like that. It's… fulfilling its destiny."
"Its destiny is to be murdered?"
"Yes! Exactly! Well, not quite exactly." Robin said, seeing the horrified look on her pretty face. He turned to the others.
"Little help here?"
"Starfire, it is a tradition for these trees to be decorated like this. It makes people happy. Our tree just hasn't been decorated yet." Beast Boy explained. Starfire considered.
"So, once we decorate the murdered tree it will not be horrendous?"
"Oh. Then we must decorate it at once!" Starfire said, floating off the ground, eyes flashing green in righteous fury.
"OK! If that'll make you happy, we'll decorate the tree. I think the decorations are in the basement. Cyborg, why don't you and Starfire go down and find them?"
Robin sat down as they left, feeling exhausted. Beast Boy tossed him a cookie.
"Thanks Beast Boy."
"What did Wayne want?" Raven asked. Robin scratched his head.
"I think he was feeling lonely actually. Christmas is always a hard time for him. So we were just chatting mostly. He gave me a few ideas for training techniques."
"You're tired." She commented.
"Exhausted. But I'm gonna relax this holiday." He reached for another cookie but Beast Boy slapped his hand away.
"That's hot. Have one of these."
He passed over another plate. Robin grinned.
"We're going to have to train harder. With cooking this good we're going to put on a lot of weight."
"Just don't eat all of them." Beast Boy said, sticking a pin into a cake to test it. Robin stood up as Starfire flew in, carrying a box which was trailing tinsel.
"Come friends! Let us decorate the tree corpse!"
"Well, when you put it that way…" Raven said sarcastically.