Body Title - Contemplation's in Peril - Helen Blakemore

Author - Jules

Summery - a stream-of-consciousness from Helen as she's kidnapped and awaits her own murder.

Disclaimer - they do, I don't... Nuff said!

Authors Notes - Yeah I know, I've been in hiding for a while.. Blame my muse! She's a temperamental bugger! Spoilers for High Roller in here too.. Well kinda :) There's a tiny bit of swearing in here too, but nothing that we havn't heard before.

Dedication - to the Ratpak, love yas all :)

Contemplation's in Peril

So this is what its like, waiting to die. It's a bit of a shock you know, one minute I'm as happy as Larry, helping Gavin's girlfriend escape a serial killer, and now I'm bound and gagged in the back of a stinking van. God it stinks in here, what the hell did they use it for? Okay.. No... Lets not think about that. Now I know how Rachel felt, well kind of. I don't think she knew she was going to die, it just sort of happened, but I 'spose in those few minutes she knew and I'll bet she felt as bad as I do now. Helpless, that's how I feel, heck I can't even see where I am, stupid bloody blindfold. I can't see, I can't scream, and I sure as hell can't move.

Gez this van has a hard floor, and I wish they'd bloody well slow down a bit! I'm sliding all over the place back here! If it wasn't for that stupid garbage truck I wouldn't be here. Matt would have seen these bastards and got them before they got me! I 'spose they think I'm Gavin's girlfriend, and that by getting rid of me they'll be free as birds. Well I 'spose that's the good thing about this.. If they think I'm her, she gets to testify, well if Julia can convince her that is. Sometimes I wonder why I'm a cop, why should I even bother, then again, this life is all I've known, and the only thing I've ever really wanted to be. Well it's not gonna matter any more soon, I'll be dead and they may or may not end up in jail. Damn I wish I could leave the guys some kinda clue.

Jeff's gonna take it hard, losing two people in a month, its probably gonna stuff his heart up totally. I know he took Rourke's accident hard, and Rachel's, well he just about went into seclusion then. God it hurt him losing Rachel, I wonder how he's gonna take mine? Oh Gez Helen Blakemore, stop mulling over your own death and try and bloody well stop it from happening! Okay what have I got to work with... Hands are tied, feet are tied, can't see, can't scream. Hrrmm not much to work with here.

Ouch! Quit turning corners so sharp will ya? That hurt! Add sore head to the list of things there, not like it didn't already hurt when they thumped me before. God I can't believe I didn't see them waiting for me. Bastards. Well at least the cavalry's here, well I think that's what I can hear, there's that much noise back here its hard to tell, hang on. Nup its gone again... Bloody hell Mick, learn to tail someone will ya? Or is it Jack, well if it's you Jack you bloody well better stop looking at Julia's unmentionables and keep your eyes on the bloody road!

Whoa... This defiantly aint a sealed road, and if it is, its a bloody shocking one! Hrmm, this defiantly feels like a track, like a really rocky track, no wonder the boys lost em. Oh shit, we've stopped. This is NOT a good thing.. There's the front door, there's the other front door, and there's my door. Friggin Hell! Watch what you're doing there! Being dragged backwards along the ground isn't good for ones comfort levels! Owwwww... Big rock... Or was it a fist.... Crap crap crap... Was a fist... Hang on.. We've stopped. Yea GADS! Don't rip the bloody tape so hard now I don't have eyebrows anymore! Well at least now I can see... Blurry as all hell, but vision is vision. Hey, what's with the camera... Hey! Owwwww... Quit with the punching.... Great.. Now we've got spots in the eyes from the flash..... Circles in the eyes from the thumping... What will I get next? Naked Commissioner's doing the Rumba? Damn it I wish I could see these bastards, then at least if I get out of this mess I can identify them. Damned sun.. Go behind a cloud will ya? All I can see is blurred silhouettes, oh shit.. Here we go.... He's finished taking happy snaps, its crunch time... Hang on... I can hear sirens! YESSSSSSS I get to live! Owwwwwww maybe not. Hey that darkness seems inviting.


And as we all know Jack and co comes to the rescue of our poor Snr Sgt Blakemore :) to quote our Jackyboy " She's Alive!!!" See I'm not that mean to my characters, I just borrow them in their perilous situations and dissect their brains :)