Changes chapter one
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon nor do I own any of the characters. I will gain no profit from this story.
Summary: Mamoru has been acting odd lately. Will he and Usagi face these changes before they tear them apart? Will Mamoru tell Usagi his deepest secret?
Author's Note: Comments and suggestions are appreciated. As with pretty much every author please read and review. For fans of Silenced don't worry I just had this pop into my head and I had to write it down before I forgot it. Unfortunately, homework takes priority over writing (darn grades!). Oh and if you find any spelling, grammar, or problems with consistency please write me a review or email me. Thank you.
I glanced at the clock for about the tenth time in the last five minutes. Oh when would this school day end, it seemed to go on forever. Finally the clock struck three and the bell rang signaling the end of school. As quickly as I could I gathered my things and ran as fast as I could out of the building.
I didn't get very far however as I heard a voice call my name from behind.
"My goodness Usagi, slow down we are all going to the same place." Minako said as she rushed up next to me. She has Makoto and Ami right behind her. "You rushing won't make Mamoru get there any faster," She continued waging a finger at me.
"I know but Kami-sama you guys walk so slowly." I replied quickening my pace.
The other girls laughed. I hadn't seen Mamoru in weeks because he had exams and I didn't want to distract him, but yesterday he had come to the arcade after school. I ran to him and gave him a big hug. I then went on to tell him how much I missed him and asked him how his exams went.
Usagi sat sipping her milkshake staring at the door, as if she expected someone to walk in at any minute.
"Come on Usagi, exams won't be over for another two days." Ami coaxed.
"I know but I miss him so much," Usagi replied tears beginning to well up in her eye. Ever since the Senshi had defeated Galaxia, Usagi seemed to be over-emotional, especially when it came to Mamoru. She couldn't explain it was as if his absence meant that he could be in trouble, or worst, dead and Usagi would have no idea. But, Usagi wasn't stupid she knew Mamoru could handle his own, but for some reason she could stop the emotions the welled up inside of her. This sometimes made her angry, but right now she just missed Mamoru so much, she didn't give the emotions a second thought.
Suddenly the door to the arcade opened and Mamoru walked in. Usagi responded by jumping quickly out of her seat and running straight into his arms. "Oh Mamoru, I missed you so much, I know you have exams and I've tried to by patient, but I still missed you." She cried burying her face into his chest.
Mamoru responded by sighing and wrapping his arms around the Blonde beauty. "I know Usako, I know." He said. Then he pulled her away a bit and wiped the tears from her eyes. He then proceeded to lead her to a stool at the front counter.
"So how are exams going Mamoru? Have you done well? Oh, I'm so excited about Friday. Where are we going to go? I was thinking a walk in the park maybe after having dinner. Oh I saw this cute little place downtown, it would be perfect." Usagi babbled happy to be with her Mamo-chan again.
Mamoru rubbed his temple. "What ever you want Usagi," he answered nursing the cup of coffee Motoki had set in front of him.
Usagi continued to babble about how she missed him, and how she hoped that he was able to study and do well on exams. Mamoru didn't seem to be listening, and he never did answer her when she asked him a question. He only stared vacantly at his cup of coffee, until seemingly from annoyance with Usagi's constant blabbering, he slammed his fist down on the table.
Usagi jumped. "Mamo-chan? Are you ok?"
He didn't seem to hear her. Instead he stood up paid Motoki and walked out of the arcade.
"Mamoru!?" Usagi called after him, but he never turned around. Usagi was too afraid that her emotions has annoyed him to follow him out so instead she turned to go back to her friends only to see that they had already left. She sighed and returned to the table they had previously occupied. She slid into the booth and folded her arms on the table. She then set her head on top on started to think of how she could control pent up emotions.
Her over emotional state had annoyed Mamoru and made him leave, but she would show him today that she could control herself, and hopefully he wouldn't still be mad.
The girls didn't what had occurred between Mamoru and I last night. Hopefully I could set it right today.
I walked briskly into the arcade and took the outer most spot in booth with the other girls. As they talked about the weekend homework, and the fun things they have planned for this weekend, I stared intently towards the door, hoping Mamoru would walk in so I could apologize. I didn't know what was wrong with his lately. Even before exams he seemed edgy and secluded. He started ending our dates early, or calling them off altogether. And, he would never talk, but he wouldn't listen to me talk either. He would just sit there and think about something, but whenever I asked him what was going on, he would shake his head and reply that it was nothing. At first I had thought it was just stress because of exams, but after yesterday, I knew it had to be because he was sick of me, or annoyed by me, or something. I had to find out what and make it right. I would move the earth and moon for him, if only to see him smile.
Part of me, however hoped he wouldn't walk through that door. What if the problem was me? What if, he didn't love me anymore? What if he had found someone else, and just didn't want to hurt my feelings.
I shook my head. Whatever it was we would get through it, even if it meant that he wished to be with someone else. As long as he was happy I would be okay, right? Right?
I was shaken out of my thoughts by a hand on my shoulder. "Usagi, it's 6:00 I don't think he's coming today. I'm sorry," Minako said.
I nodded and gave her a smile. "It's okay, Mina, I'm sure he just forgot. Well look at the time I got to get home for dinner." I sounded so fake I couldn't even convince myself.
"Usagi, are you okay?" Rei asked looking worried.
"Of course I am I'm just a little disappointed that's all I was looking forward to our date tonight. Oh well I'll just call him tomorrow." I said as I quick made my way out of the arcade.
He hated me. I just knew it. I ran all the way home and straight into my room where I cried into the pillow. He had found someone else. Someone prettier, smarter, more sophisticated no doubt and I was just a pain in his side. I tried to clam down. He would be happy if I just left, that way I wouldn't bother him anymore.
Just then my mom called me for dinner. I quickly went to the bathroom washed my face and straightened my clothes. I then plastered a fake smile on my face. No reason to worry my parents. I went down stairs and feinted perkiness. I had become very good at this during my two years as a Sailor Senshi. They didn't notice a thing.
After dinner I went upstairs and proceeded to start my homework, but my mind returned to Mamoru. What had changed? Had I changed? I know I had become more emotional, but was it really that unbearable? I could try to suppress it if that was what bothered him. Had he changed? I didn't think so, unless you counted his moodiness.
I sighed and looked at the clock, it was almost nine. Determined to prove my maturity, even if he couldn't see it, I finished my homework, but by the time I had finished that, it was 10:45. Far too late to be calling Mamoru. I would just call have to call him tomorrow, yes that is what I would do. I would call him tomorrow and find out what was really going on.
With that I turned off my light and went to sleep anxiously waiting tomorrow's events.
I sighed as I finished the last question on my Biochemistry exams. It was over. Two weeks of finals had come to an end. In a way I was happy. No more late nights of studying or essays to write, for a while at least. But, another part of me was sad. Now I would have to face Usagi and tell her about the worst thing that had happened in my life. How would she react? I didn't know. Part of me wanted to hold her and run my hand through her soft silky hair. But another part of me wished I could just avoid telling her. But I couldn't do that forever I would have to face her sometime.
Saturday. It was the day that might change our relationship forever. I didn't want things to change, but ever since Galaxia's attack, things were really put into perspective in my life. I had to tell her. And, Saturday would be the day I would do it. I couldn't believe it had actually been so long since it had happened. I wonder how Usagi will act when I tell her. Will she understand and be supportive, or will she be hurt and scared and run away from me? With all my heart I prayed for the former. I needed her to be there for me through this more than anything else in the world.
I looked at the clock there were still thirty minutes left before the test was officially finished and we were all dismissed. Which left plenty of time for my idol musings.
It broke my heart yesterday to see her hurt expression when I left the arcade without a word to her. I knew it wasn't fair she missed me so much, and I missed her, but I couldn't stay there with her. Not with all the darkness swirling in my head. It would scare her away. I didn't want to scare her away. I had to leave. It broke my heart as she had brought comfort to me in a way she would probably never know, but I need to be alone to think right then.
I would make it up to her. At least I told myself that. Kami-sama knew if she would give me a chance after I told her my darkest secret.
Finally the class period was over and we were dismissed. I took my time leaving. I knew Usagi was waiting for me at the arcade, but I didn't think I could face her not yet. Not with all these thoughts filling my head. Tomorrow, I kept telling myself, I would see her tomorrow.
With that in mind, I retreated to my apartment and began to get a head start on my studies for next semester.
I awoke earlier than normal most likely from worry over Mamoru. I went downstairs and ate breakfast then went up to my room and just stared at the phone.
Should I call him now? What should I say? Would he answer me? I decided to just get it over with.
I picked up the phone dialed his number and waited as the phone rang, and rang and rang. Finally his answering machine picked up. I sighed. After trying three more times, I realized knew he wasn't home.
"Usagi," Mother said coming into my room, "Why don't you go out today, it's such a beautiful day!"
"Okay Mom," I replied. "I'll leave after I get my things."
I knew she was right staying here would just get me more upset. I grabbed my jacket and my purse, making sure I had my transformation brooch with me. Even though no one had attacked for a while now it was always better to be safe than sorry.
I headed to the arcade. Once I arrived I found it very crowded. Motoki didn't work on Saturdays so I couldn't take to him even if he was there. So I resigned myself to playing a new Sailor V game that had come out a month ago. After about two hours, however I got bored. I didn't feel like going to any of the other Senshi's house however. So I took a free booth by the window and just stared out.
"Hey is this seat taken everywhere else seems to be full." A voice said from above. I looked up to see a very cute boy staringat my intently.
I smiled and shook my head. He sat down
"My name is Keyni," He said.
"Usagi," I answered.
"So what are you doing here all lone Usagi?" Keyni asked leaning back into the seat.
"Nothing really just passing time," I replied. He certainly was cute, but he paled in comparison to Mamoru.
"Do you care for a walk in the park?" he asked.
"I have a boyfriend." I replied sternly.
"Oh, well then where is he?" Keyni asked. "Oh come on Usagi, just as friends. It would be fun!"
I didn't know where Mamoru and I stood so I decided to accept his offer. Besides they say the best person to pour your heart out to is a stranger.
So Keyni and I walked in the park and I told him about my dilemma with Mamoru. He didn't interrupt once, but instead listened intently and nodded when appropriate. When I had told him everything (well sort of I left out the whole we were lovers a thousand years ago, and the fact the we had already seen that we would be married in the future part.) he stopped and took a moment to contemplate my words.
"If you ask me Usagi, I don't think it's you that is bothering him at all. I think Mamoru has something personal that doesn't involve you that is bothering him, and he can't get past it now to see that you are worried about him." Keyni said seriously.
I opened my mouth to say something but he held up his hand.
"Let me finish. You are a wonderful girl Usagi, Mamoru knows this, I can tell. Just give him time he'll tell you eventually."
I thought about it for a little. It seemed logical. I nodded and gave Keyni a smile. "Thank you Keyni you have been so helpful." I said giving him a light peck on the cheek.
"Anytime Usagi," He replied. Then together he walked me back to my house. On the way we saw a peddler selling roses. Keyni bought me a dozen.
I'm glad I met Keyni, he really helped to cheer my up. He was cute, but of course I could only have feeling for Mamoru. HE was a good friend though, and I had a feeling that we would be friends for a long time to come.
By the time I got home it was 3:45. I had just gotten up to my room and was about to set my flowers down when my mother called me from down stairs.
"Usagi, Mamoru is here." She called.
Mamoru? What was he doing here?
I ran down to meet him flowers still in hand. He was in his car. The passenger side door was open. "get in." He said sternly.
I just stared at him, in shock. He had never spoken to me like that before. Never.
"I said, get in Usagi," He was practically yelling now.
I quickly got into the car. He didn't even wait for me to close the door before he started driving off.