Once Upon a Razorblade
Disclaimer: I own no part of Yu Yu Hakusho. But steal my plot and you will suffer.
Epilogue: Memories Are For Sanity
I don't particularly understand what Koenma was trying to accomplish by using this as a portion of my sentence. What could he have thought I would do?
No. I realize that it is better this way. Better to die now rather than later. After all, the more time I spent, sick and dying, the more hearts I would break, the more pain I would cause.
I know that this does not justify my actions. I know that suicide, a cowardly death not in the face of adversity but in the face of fate, is a sin.
However, no matter where I am sentenced to reside, I accept my fate. I accept the pain, and I accept the blame. I accept it all.
Because, at least, I have the memories of my lives long past. I have the memories of being the Spirit Fox, the King of Thieves, and of Makai, and of other things. And I have the memories of my earthbound life. I have memories of the people I have met and befriended, and I have memories of happiness.
I have memories of terror and pain. I have memories of hatred, despair, and loathing. I have memories, too, of a razorblade that seemed so innocent but which evolved into a situation that grew completely out of my control.
And as long as I have those memories, perhaps… I will remain sane.
But to those I left behind – Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, the others who will read this, and even those who won't – I have only this request of you:
Find happiness without me.