Ok this is my first attempt of a fanfic so i hope you like it, it's completely AU so make sure to read the stuff you should know before going any further please


Summary: Extremely AU Something happened in Tomoeda a long time ago and now it's all screwy and everyone's in a bad mood. Eventually SS

Disclaimer: Ok this belongs to it's respective authors, i'm just adjustingit to my favorite anime, i hope i did it right ok???

Author's Note: Stuff you should know:

People with magic: Syaoran, Meiling and Eriol

People without magic: Sakura, Kaho, Touya, Tomoyo, Yukito

They are almost the same age

Touya is not Sakura's brother

The cards are Syaoran's

Kaho and Rika are not Sakura's friends

Sakura lives above a restaurant called Magic Blast

Syaoran doesn't like Sakura… yet ;)

Where is My Mind
With your feet in the air
and your head on the ground
try this trick and spin it
your head will collapse
but there's nothing in it
so you'll ask yourself
where is my mind
-The Pixies



Lots of things spin. Wheels spin on a car. Lives spin out of control.

Right now, what happens to be spinning is a bottle.

A group of my peers sit on the floor in front of me, in a circle. Some of them are smoking cigarettes, some of them are smoking weed. All of them are looking at the bottle in anticipation.

I'm not.

I already know what's going to happen. Eriol spun the bottle so there is not doubt it's going to land on Tomoyo. They'll kiss. Meiling will go next, it will land on Yukito. They'll kiss and so on and so forth.

They control the bottle with their magic powers. I know this. Tomoyo and Yukito don't believe me. They don't believe me because it doesn't really matter to them. They could care less, as long as they get to kiss the people they're not willing to admit they're in love with.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Every single kid in this town has at some point been accused of being a magician. So it doesn't really surprise Yukito and Tomoyo that I should accuse Syaoran, Eriol and Meiling.

It's Meiling's turn now. It landed on Yukito.

What a surprise.

Syaoran is acting weird tonight. I don't even know why he's playing. Kaho isn't here.

He never plays when Kaho isn't here.

The bottle spins. It's brown, and empty, and clanking annoyingly on the linoleum floor. The group holds their breath. Who is Syaoran going to kiss tonight? They want to know.

And to tell you the truth, I'm not sure if I could care less, or if I need to know to survive.

Obsession is weird like that.

One thing is for sure, It's not going to be me. I'm not playing. I never play. Maybe it's going to be Rika.

The group lets out their breath as the bottle comes to a halt between Yukito and Eriol.

Strange. Why would Syaoran want to kiss Yukito or Eriol?

They look down at the bottle, then their eyes follow the invisible line where the bottle is pointing, between them, on the couch behind them.

Guess who is sitting on the couch behind them?

I am.

"I'm not playing." I defend myself as everyone looks at me suggestively.

Then Syaoran looks at me. He looks straight at me. The way that makes your insides quiver and shudder and die.

Syaoran only makes eye contact with people when it's convenient for him. He's never looked me in the eye before. I think I'm getting sick, I think I'm panicking. He's not supposed to like me. This is not how things are supposed to go.

Need I make myself more clear? I look at him right back. "I'm not playing." I say it a little more forcefully this time. I mean it in the most literal way possible.

He shakes his head slightly, "Neither am I."

There are a few things that fly through my mind.

1.) What the hell is Syaoran talking about.

2.) I'm too old for this.

3.) How the hell did I get here?


I think I'm going to need to start a little earlier.

But where? The obvious choice would be the infamous 'beginning'.

I don't even know where that is. Maybe it's the day I was partnered up in Science with Syaoran. Maybe it's the day Syaoran ran over Kaho with his car. Maybe it's the day a green light caused a blackout. Maybe it's the day I was born, the day he was born, the day the universe was created.

How about I just pick a spot and go with it?

How about the day my mind started spinning out of control.

We need to stop and rewind. Watch the reels of the movie spin backwards....





In a couple weeks a bottle will be pointing at me. Only, I don't know that yet.

I'm working right now. So is Kaho, Rika, and Tomoyo. It's dark outside. Friday night so only the regulars are here.

The regulars are the people that have nothing better to do on a Friday night than keep the working class from going home. Specifically, the regulars are the old woman who sits in the corner (whom we so graciously refer to as 'the woman who sits in the corner'), and Syaoran and his posse (which consists of Eriol and Meiling).

Of course, Syaoran is here because he knows that Kaho is working.

Me and Tomoyo don't mind working Friday nights. We like it quiet. However, Kaho and Rika hate working Fridays, they have better things to do. They actually could leave if they wanted to, we don't need them, but they're trying to save up enough money to get an apartment together.

This is how it goes: Rika is Tomoyo's older sister. One year older, to be exact. Kaho is Rika's best friend. They should be in a grade above us, they should have graduated last year, but they failed. And now we're all seniors together.

What fun.

They failed because they don't want to leave Tomoeda.

For the life of me, I can't figure out why.

Me and Tomoyo and Yukito, we can't wait to get the hell out of this place. I'll explain later. Now, I must pretend to work.

Me, Kaho, and Rika lean our backs against the counter, watching the boring scene play out before us. Every once in a while I wipe the little droplets of sweat off my forehead and take a swig from my glass of Cream soda. Rika makes loud, bored groans every once in a while and Kaho bobs her head side to side to a song playing in her mind.

Syaoran, Eriol, and Meiling mostly sit in silence. Every once in a while Eriol attempts to leave and you can hear their silent arguments if you listen hard enough. Syaoran doesn't want to leave until Kaho's shift is over.

The guy amazes me. He's really good at this secret obsession thing. He does a great job making everyone think he's not really obsessed with Kaho. You can tell though if you sit around and watch him every night like me and Rika and Tomoyo.

I sort of feel sorry for him. And I'm not even gonna try to understand what exactly he sees in her. Oh well, I don't really care a whole lot anyway.

I can hear Tomoyo as she stacks tubs of ketchup in the back room.

Rika chuckles to herself and we all direct our attention to her. On a boring night like this, your willing to hear anything that anybody has to laugh about. She nudges Kaho on the arm, "Syaoran Li is staring at you again."

Kaho and I groan. We were expecting something funny, or at least something new. She replies in the non-chalont way that she usually does, like nothing is important enough. "Remind me again why I should care?"

Tomoyo walks into the front, having heard most of our conversation, "Who is staring at who?" She joins us in our positions against the counter. I have to admit, we look sort of intimidating when we sit like this, in a perfect line. This is how we drive out customers.

I hand my Soda to Tomoyo, "I'll give you two guesses."

"Oh." She already knows. She throws back the Soda and downs the rest.

Rika leans forward. You can tell when Rika is thinking evil thoughts. You can practically see her eyebrows form into a sinister V shape. "I don't know," she says, "I'd fuck 'im." Rika can be really crude like that.

I smile. I smile because I know exactly what Tomoyo is going to say next.

Tomoyo smiles back at me, " That's a surprise," she says.

Kaho raises her eyebrows and glances at Rika, "Well...why don't you then?"

Rika opens her mouth to respond but is interrupted by Kaho shoving the order pad in her hands, "Go take their order." She scuffles into the back and you can practically feel Syaoran's eyes following her.

Rika shakes her head and thrusts the order pad at me, "Kinomoto, be a doll and take their order, will you?" She follows Kaho.

Tomoyo shakes her head at me sadly, "Do you think I could get a sister divorce?"

I shrug. "I'll be back." I get to go take their order now.

Yay. me.

My voice is monotonous as I go through the usual spiel without a pause. I want them to know exactly how much I don't want to be here. "Welcome to the Magic Blast cafe my name is Sakura I will be your friendly waitress our soup of the day is clam chowder can I get you something to drink or are you ready to order."

Syaoran doesn't even attempt to look at me, "This isn't your section." How rude is that?

Whatever. "Welcome to the Magic Blast cafe," I repeat, "my name is SAKURA I will be your friendly..."

His face hardens even more, if that's possible. "Where is Kaho... this is Kaho's section." He says this like he's talking to the menu in front of him. Eriol leans over and softly bangs his head repeatedly against the counter.

I'm angry now. I'm really angry now. "Kaho is probably doing lines in the bathroom, now do you want something or not?"

He clenches his jaw. He still doesn't look at me of course. He looks at the ground. "No." He leaves. Eriol and Meiling follow.

Rika peers around the corner of the back room, "Well halla-fucking-luia, now we can go home." She says this too loud.

The lady that sits in the corner starts barking like a dog. Did i mention she's insane? Well she is.

Something is bugging me. Something about Syaoran is bugging me, I need to go upstairs.

My mind is beginning to spin.

Everyone goes home after the police drag the barking lady out the door.

It's Friday, so were used to it.

I pass by the empty booths on my way to the stairs. One of them is not so empty.

A jacket.

Syaoran left his jacket here.

So what do I do now? Do I put it in the back?

I don't really want to touch it. I don't know why.

I could just leave it there, say I never saw it.


I make my way up the stairs and into my room. Privacy at last. Time to get lost in my thoughts.

If Tomoeda were to take on a human form, grow arms and legs and start walking around, the first thing it would do is blow it's own head off.

Yes, it's that sad.

Do you want to know the ingredients for a ticking time bomb?

Take a shitty town, add a magician conspiracy, throw in a little gossip and fear. There you have it, now go blow something up.

It wasn't always this way.

It all started with a couple of kids screwing around in Penguin Park. Exactly who saw the green light is a detail people still argue about in the halls at school.

Regardless, somebody saw it. That somebody showed it to someone else, and so on. The number of people that knew about this grew at an exponential rate. Pretty soon everyone wants to know, what three people among us are magicians?

Funny thing is, lots of people in our school hang out in threes. Me and Tomoyo and Yukito, Syaoran and Eriol and Meiling, Kaho and Rika and Naoko, Touya and Yamazaki and Ian. The list goes on.

That's when everyone started to hate each other.

It was seventh grade I believe.

We never told any adults.

The hate has grown since then, it's just grown a little quieter. It lives in the silence, in the quiet. You can feel it, everyday. When your talking to someone, you can hear it lingering between the words.

That's why the people here try to be as loud as they can. To fill up the silence. They snort speed and drop acid so the silence is easier to take.

I don't know if this magician ordeal is the only thing wrong with Tomoeda. People don't really care who the magicians are anymore. Because this whole thing has taught us one thing: It doesn't matter. We're all the magicians. Each one of us is as alienated as the next.

Technically though?....I have my theories.

I think it's Syaoran and Eriol and Meiling. Correction, I'm pretty sure I know it's them. I don't have proof. I wouldn't do anything if I had proof anyway. Tomoeda doesn't need to know.

I need to get out of this town, but it's like a snake pit sometimes. People say it's cursed, whoever leaves will probably just come back in a year or so and take on some underpaying job.

Not me.

I'll get out.

I look at the clock. I've been laying here for hours now.

I hear something outside. A voice. I walk to my window and open it.

The voice is singing. It echoes eerily off the brick walls of the alley. "Little cherrrrrrrrrrrrrry bloooooooooooossom."

Little cherry blossom. Kaho used to call me that, a long time ago.

I climb out my window and hear the voice hiccup and begin again, "I know your up there little cherry blossom."

I peer over the edge. Kaho stumbles around in the stream of light below, flailing around a bottle. She must be drunk.

" There you are."

"Kaho?" Her hair is messed up. She must be really drunk because you never see her hair messed up. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came..." She backs up onto the street so that she can see me a little better, "came to ask you a favor."

I'm starting to worry. Kaho never lets down her guard. I've known her for a long time. Don't get me wrong. We're not friends, we just know each other.

"See little cherry blossom, I'm gonna kill somebody… And I'm gonna need your help."

Ok. Maybe she's a little drunker than I thought.

"Kaho, maybe you should come up here."

"Don't worry little cherry blossom, I've got it all figured out."

She reaches behind her back and pulls out exactly what I expect her to, a gun.

I think she's starting to cry.

I think she's serious.

She clenches her eyes shut tightly, "If you don't help me, I can always get little Syaoran Li to help me, he'll do anything for me, won't he? Anyone will do anything for me."

I see a light in the distance down the street. A car. "Kaho, get up here."

She's just drunk.

That's all.

She shakes her head and stumbles back more into the street. "Nobody wants to help me little cherry blossom."

I wish she would stop calling me that.

The car is getting closer. It's going too fast.

"Kaho, get out of the fucking street."

She drops the bottle on the ground and waves at me, "Goodbye."

No. No no no.

The car will see her.

It's not slowing down.



I don't wanna see someone die.

I can't look at her. I can't watch someone die.

I'll watch the wheel, just focus on the wheel. The wheel spins faster. Around and around.


It stops.

I hear someone screaming, "What the fuck was that?"

I hear doors slamming, I hear someone have a breakdown. I hear... crying... then silence.

I peer over the ledge, I can't look at the body. No looking at the body.

It's Syaoran. He probably came to get his jacket. Meiling and Eriol are with him. They are all panicking. He's leaning over Kaho.


No looking at the body.

They knocked her up onto the sidewalk.

There's blood on the street.

I can't do this.

I hear Meiling's panicky whisper, "Is it working?"

No one responds.

Syaoran stands up.

"It's done," Eriol says. "You got her, lets go."

Syaoran shakes his head. This is the most emotion I've ever seen him show. "We can't just leave her here."

"The hell we can't." Eriol grabs Syaoran's arm and shoves him into the car.

They leave.

I wait.

She's going to wake up. Because they're magicians.

Please wake up.

I'll be here for her when she wakes up.

Ten minutes go by.

Please wake up.

I didn't sign up for this.

Twenty minutes go by.


She's moving.

Oh fuck, she's moving.

She's crying.

She's standing up and crawling up the ladder.


I can't look at her, she still looks dead. She's covered in blood.

"What happened to me?"

I shake my head, "I don't know."

Her hair. There's blood in her hair. I wonder if it will come out.

She sits on my lawn chair. She sits for a long time.

She stands up, "You can't tell anyone... you can't tell anyone what happened tonight."

"I won't."

She's talking about the gun.

"I was drunk."

"I know."

It's ok now. Everything is ok. She's alive, she's a bloody fucking mess, but alive.

And the spinning? It's getting faster.

I would like to know who Kaho wants to kill.

Kaho wants to know why she's covered in blood.

I don't blame her.

I have to tell her something. I examine her face carefully, there are still cuts and scrapes. He didn't heal her all the way, that could account for the blood perhaps.

The boy is a thinker.

"You got hit by a car." I wipe some of the blood off her arms with a warm washcloth.

"Did you see who it was?"

I shake my head. "They just drove off, it was dark."

I help her wash her hair. We have to wash it twice to get all the red stains out. Seeing Kaho all bloody like this, you just know your seeing something your not supposed to. Kaho is usually the picture of perfection, not a hair out of place. I feel like I'm violating her.


So Syaoran Li is a magician.

Notice my complete lack of surprise.

Told you.

I'm not telling Kaho. Like I said, Tomoeda doesn't need to know. I could care less what happens to this place when I leave, but not while I'm here.

Not while I'm here.

I take a shirt out of my dresser for Kaho to wear and she takes off her own. I notice a couple things.

1.) Her ridiculously elaborate purple bra. I swear the girl has 50 bras, one to match each of her outfits. I have about five, all white, I bought them in bulk at Target, I bet that would make Syaoran Li cringe.

2.) A little green shining thing. Maybe that's how they mark their territory. Instead of pissing they leave telltale green shining things.

She rubs at her stomach. "...the fuck is this?"

We need to cover all of our bases here. I'm trying to hide two things at once. I don't want people to know who the magicians are and I don't want Kaho to get in trouble for not killing anyone. "Where is the gun?"

She clutches at her back in panic. "Shit."

We find it in the shadows. It had been knocked halfway up the alley. I ask her where she got it and she tells me she stole it from Touya's dad.


While we're down there we put some water over the bloodstains on the street.

And finally, we put all her bloody clothes in a plastic bag. She holds up the bag to me, "So what do we do with this?"

I nod. "I think we should burn them."

I don't really know where that came from. I want to know exactly when I became a character off of 'Goodfellas'.

She understands though. Blood means panic, and if people know she's been hit by a car there going to want to know what she was doing outside of the Magic Blast. Flailing a gun around and threatening peoples lives?.. Probably not acceptable.

There is one freeway that goes through Tomoeda. We drive to where the freeway overpasses a desolate road. We bring a can of gasoline and a book of matches, and we sit by the brightly burning fire as the flames lick the sky.

She says thanks to me when I drop her off at home.

I think me and Kaho just bonded.

I just hope she doesn't go off and kill anyone.

In about an hour, my mom will come into my room and wake me up, but before that there is something I want to do. I go through the front door of the Magic Blast and look at the jacket just sitting there in the booth.

I wonder what magician's jackets smell like. I'm still not going to touch it. That would be even more of a violation than seeing Kaho all bloody. How can I touch the jacket of someone that doesn't even attempt to know my name.

I wonder what Syaoran thinks about when he thinks about Kaho. I wonder if behind that stoic demeanor is just a flurry of dirty thoughts.

I've only been alone with Kaho a few times. When your alone with her, she's not really that bad. But Syaoran doesn't know this. Maybe he's just a horny teenager, maybe he just wants her body like everyone else in school.

I set my knee on the booth and lean over. It's a black jacket, polyester. I'm glad it's not leather. Tomoyo told me how they make leather and now leather makes me want to hurl. I sniff at it. It smells good.

It smells like a boy.

It's official, Syaoran Li smells like a boy. I'm glad I wasted my time on this.

I'm going to bed now. I can still sleep for about forty five minutes.

You might want to fast forward to Monday, nothing happens over the weekend.





Me and Kaho meet in front of school like we agreed upon. We just want to check in with each other, make sure nobody found anything out. She tells me the green thing is gone.

When were done talking, Kaho looks towards the school door expectantly, "Shall we?"

"You go ahead."

I don't want to walk into school with Kaho. If I walk into school with Kaho then people will start talking to me and pretending like they care about what I have to say.

I'm not up for that.

Kaho nods in understanding. She probably doesn't want to have to explain to people why she walked into school with her coworker.

Fine with me.

After she's gone I walk through the double doors and lean against my locker, waiting for Tomoyo.

Syaoran Li walks by, he deserves a fucking Oscar the way he's playing off like nothing happened.

Jesus Christ, I need to go to the bathroom.

I'm in the stall and I hear some girls come in and start to chat. I'll bet their freshmen 'cause they have these high pitched voices you don't grow out of until the middle of junior year.

"Oh my god," One of the girls says, "Did you see Syaoran Li today?"

Oh lord, here it comes.

"Oh my god he is like, soooooo hot, did you see that shirt he's wearing?"

For the love of god, somebody please put me out of my misery.

I open the stall and the girls jaws drop to the floor. All they know is that I'm a senior, and therefore, there is a possibility that I know Syaoran Li.

One of the girls is smoking, and her cigarette falls to the ground, "We didn't know you were..."

"I hear he's gay." I say.

"What?? no way."

I fake smile. "Totally."

Why am I doing this? Cause it's fun. You see, Syaoran Li, he's not a normal looking high school boy. He looks like he just stepped out of a Calvin Klein advertisement. With his huge arms and perfect stomach. And it makes me sick that a whole class of girls would spread their legs in a heartbeat if they thought they had a chance. I can't really blame them though, I was probably like that too. But really now, it's time to get over it. Time to grow up.

And me? Well, Syaoran is just not my type. I don't want a model, I want a real guy. Maybe someone good looking, like Yukito without the built in brotherly instinct.

Oh.... and one more thing. If I ever fall in love, it's not going to be in this town. I'm willing to bet money on that.

Anyway, this isn't about me.

At lunch time I meet Yukito and Tomoyo in the gym. We stay in the gym at lunch because it's hot outside and the gym is air conditioned. I use Yukito's lap as a pillow.

The crumbs from his bag of chips are getting in my hair.

"Johnny Soccer Hero," Yukito says, "Ten 'o clock."

Oh yay. Johnny Soccer Hero.

Johnny Soccer Hero (AKA Touya) is what happens when you put 2 parts jock, 1 part malicious glares in a blender and serve it over ice. Johnny Soccer Hero got a little freaked out after the green light was seen and became a lovely member of the world of persons that really can glare at you. Johnny Soccer Hero is not my friend, he is my acquaintance. Johnny Soccer Hero is Kaho's boyfriend.

And Johnny Soccer Hero is headed this way.

"Sakura, can I talk to you for a second?"

Sure you can, Johnny Soccer Hero.

He pulls me to the corner of the room, "I think Kaho should stay with you."

"What are you talking about?"

"She's been acting weird lately, I think she's having problems at home."

Gee, you think?

"So... she can stay with Rika."

Touya frowns, "I hate Rika."

"Why are you asking me?"

"I don't know who else to ask!"

We turn our heads as the door of the gym opens and Syaoran and his posse walk in. You can practically feel Touya shudder. He just hates that another man is obsessed with Queen Kaho. He's insanely jealous.

For absolutely no reason. They both adore each other so much it's enough to make a girl lose her lunch.

I would like to get out of here now.

"You like him, don't you." Touya says.


"Ok, That would be a big fat no."

"You guys should go out."

"You should mind your own fucking business." And I used to be such a nice girl.

"Jesus," Touya shakes his head, "Why are you like that?"

"I'm leaving now."

"You have problems."

HAH. Understatement of the year, Johnny Soccer Hero. Have you looked at your girlfriend lately?

I nod my head, "I have problems, that's really insightful, are we done?"

"Yea," he sighs and looks around the gym, "Were done."

I don't know what had gotten into me today, I'm not usually queen bitch. Maybe it's because I just covered up an attempted murder and an magician conspiracy.

Really puts things into perspective.

Did I mention how tired I am?

Fast forward time.


Science, last period. And wouldn't you know, absolutely everyone is in this class. Everyone: Me, Tomoyo, Yukito, Syaoran, Eriol, Meiling, Kaho, Rika, Johnny Soccer Hero.

Terada Sensei blabs in the front of class about assigning lab partners.

"Tomoyo Daidouji and Meiling Li."

Ohh boy... poor Tomoyo.

"Yukito Tsukisiro and Eriol Hiragizawa."

Yea Terada Sensei, that's gonna turn out good.

"Rika Sasaki and Touya Yoshiyuki."

Oh lord. I bet she's gonna put Syaoran and Kaho together. I don't know if that's amusing or really bad.

"Kaho Mizuki and Ayanami Rei."

Who the fuck is Ayanami Rei?

I look around the room and try to send Terada Sensei brain waves. There is not a lot of students left. Naoko Yanagisawa will have to do.

Put me with Naoko Terada Sensei. You know you want to put me with Naoko.

"Syaoran Li and Sakura Kinomoto."



Wait just a damn second.

The class lets out a collective groan and moves to their new places. I don't move.

Syaoran reluctantly picks up his bags and sits next to me.

I'm not happy about this either, Syaoran Li.

"Your Kaho's friend."

I groan. Yea, I'm Kaho's friend. That's how I define myself, that's how I introduce myself. I go around saying, HI, I'm Sakura, I'm Kaho's friend.

I wonder if he has some sort of Kaho radar. If that's how he sees people. He probably differentiates people as "Kaho" and "Not Kaho."

"Your Meiling's brother." Take that.

I stare at the books in front of me.

"Syaoran." He says.

"Sakura" I say.

He nods nonchalantly at Kaho, "What happened to her?"



I keep my face perfectly still. "She was in the stock room and a box full of glasses fell on her."

He furrows his brow, "She told you that?"

Way to let your guard down, Syaoran.

"She didn't need to tell me, I saw it with my own eyes."

Don't ask me why I'm saying this. Either I majorly want to fuck with his head, or I want to let him know his secret is safe.

"Ok," he says, like he doesn't believe a word I'm saying, "So is she ok?"

"Why don't you ask her?"

And that is the end of our lovely conversation. As Terada Sensei babbles on I find myself wondering about Syaoran and Kaho more and more. I think I actually like to see Syaoran cringe whenever Johnny Soccer Hero and Kaho hold hands and pass notes. It's sort of... disgusting and amusing at the same time. I wonder if he thinks about her like... all the time. I wonder if he's thinking about sex right now.

God, when did I become such a sick person.

One thing is for sure, this is going to be an interesting assignment.

Ok this was the first chapter, If you liked it or if you didn't then send me a review with your comment please, I'll post the next chapter tomorrow night ok??? Thanx for stopping by!!!!