We interrupt this broadcast for an important news bulletin:
This shit has gotten out of hand.
We, Jenny and Kelly, the authors of the Rurouni Kenshin Parody, would like to apologize to all the readers whose minds have been tainted by this utter travesty of a fanfiction. Saito's junk is NOT 3+ feet long, and even if it was, he would not let us heathens grab it repeatedly.
Aoshi, however, DOES have a three-foot long "love kodachi". And he's never said more than five words, so you should ignore the twelve or so that he speaks in the story.
Kenshin is NOT a flaming midget. He's just a short man on fire.
Tokio is a decent, god fearing woman that in no way resembles a monkey.
Kawaji's head, while shiny, does not blind all who see it.
Hiko was not even in the story; we couldn't find him.
Sanosuke is the weakest man on Rurouni Kenshin.
Yahiko did not lose an eye to Aoshi's manhood, but he does have to wear a patch for a week. Doctor's orders.
Megumi is not a panda, but she does occasionally munch on bamboo.
Jenny is a dental assistant. I shit you not. (Hey! Shut up bitch!)
Captain Crunchberries III is currently residing in Idaho, where he has a corn farm. He bears no resemblance to Saito and we did not get permission to use his likeness in this fic.
Misao is in love with a pedophile.
Ray Charles is dead and will be missed by many. But he was blind and that's funny. The use of his name is likely to be repeated in the future. We predict a 70 chance of scattered blind people showers. (Ray Charles rolls over in his grave and shakes his fist in the wrong direction.) We also predict a slight chance of deaf thunderstorms. But don't worry; it shouldn't interrupt your sleep.
We don't even remember when Kaoru was in the story, but then again, who cares?
Elvis did not appear in this fic, but he was a drug addict. And that's funny.
Kelly once brought in the X-Men parody for a school assignment and got reprimanded for making fun of Magayto.
Once again, we apologize for this ridiculous nonsense.
Stay tuned for the next adventure of Jenny and Kelly in anime land.
By the way, if you were curious about what happens at the end of this story, Jenny and Kelly get the remote back and go home and have some macaroni and cheese. Saito goes back to work after fucking Tokio senseless, Aoshi goes "…", Jiya masturbates himself to death, and a random manticore watches Kenshin and Sano and Al Capone finally consummate their love for one another.
The End…or is it? DADADADAAAAAAAA!
This chapter written to "Georgia on my Mind". RIP Ray, you blind, stumbling motherfucker.
We realize this is uber horrible, but we don't care.