Title: Christmas with the Kaibas

Author: Wodenschild

Beta: Jennie Bartley

Rating: PG-13

Pairing(s): Kaiba/Joey, Duke/Tristan

Spoilers: none

Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh, it'd be like this, and trust me no one would watch.

Summary: Christmas makes everyone act a little strange, including Kaiba.

AN: Okay I had a lot of trouble coming up with a decent, non-used plot so I had fun with it and it came out rather silly. Kaiba's a tad bit OOC, but chalk it up to an overdose of peppermint and eggnog.

Christmas with the Kaibas

It was the annual Kaiba Corp Christmas party and once again the CEO was nowhere to be found. The Vice President, in high holiday spirits, could be seen mingling with the guests and handing out presents while dressed in a delightful elf costume. "Here you go, Mr. Seguchi. Merry Christmas!" Mokuba said with a cheerful smile. "You haven't seen my brother around have you?"

"The chief? No I haven't; my wife wanted to meet him. He always throws the best parties for his employees."

Mokuba smiled. "Ah, yes. Big brother wants his employees happy. Well, I still have gifts to hand out; if you see him tell him I'm looking for him!" Receiving a nod of acknowledgment, Mokuba wandered off with a frown. "Stupid brother. I'll bet he's hiding again, probably up in his office." With that, he swung around, determined to make his brother enjoy himself.

"Oh, Mokuba sir, please hold up; we have a slight problem with the Twelve days of Christmas display, and we can't find Mr. Kaiba anywhere."

Mokuba sighed and turned to face the distressed planner. "Okay, what's wrong?"

The woman wrung her hands. "Well, it seems the live partridge we received has territorial issues with the two turtle doves and keeps attacking them and anyone who tries to interfere! What should we do?"

Mokuba gaped at her. "You put a live partridge in the diorama?"

The woman shifted uncomfortably. "We thought it would add to it."

He slapped his head and groaned. "Remove it at once! This is a party, I do not want my employees pecked and chased by an irate bird who should rightly be in the wild!" With that, he turned and walked off. 'Honestly! Maybe Seto was right about the incompetence of people.'

Meanwhile, holed up in his office and away from the public he loathed, Seto Kaiba was wrapping presents...and humming. 'Let's see...who did I forget? Pink handcuffs for that annoying cheerleader, a J. Crew certificate with catalog for the white haired Brit, a bunch of bananas for the bullet head.' A smirk appeared on his face. 'Tinsel for Mutou, and, the special present for the puppy. Wish I could see their faces when they open them.'

"Seto! You're supposed to be enjoying yourself, this is a party!" Mokuba said as he stalked into the office. Spying the brightly colored packages scattered across Seto's desk he paused. "Are those presents?"

Seto smirked again, and replied, "I am enjoying myself, and yes, these are presents. You'll deliver them when you stop by Mutou's party that you didn't ask to go to."

Mokuba blushed, "Oh, you know about that?"

Seto rolled his eyes. "Really Mokuba, you can't keep a secret to save your life."

Mokuba brightened. "Well, if they're for Yugi and the gang, why don't you just come with me?"

"As enjoyable as seeing their reactions would be, I would rather not be in the vicinity when they're opened."

Mokuba slumped in disappointment. "Oh, they're your gag gifts again, aren't they? Weren't the ones you sent them for their birthdays enough?" Seto grinned and sighed, "No."

Mokuba shook his head and sighed. "Alright, fine, but I'm not going to be responsible for the aftershocks. And they think you have no sense of humor," Mokuba grumbled under his breath. After a few moments and finally succumbing to curiosity Mokuba had to ask, "Okay, so what did you get them?" Still grinning Seto showed him, keeping Joey's in his lap. "Alright I get everyone else's, but why the tinsel?"

Seto actually laughed at the question. "You didn't hear about it? They must be keeping it quiet." In amusment Seto told Mokuba ALL about it.

Flashback to two days ago and the school Christmas dance, which Seto was only at because Mokuba had blackmailed him into going with film of him singing Christmas carols in the shower. He's still not sure how or when it was filmed; he didn't remember singing Christmas carols. But anyway, suspended in the middle of the floor was a sixteen foot plastic Christmas tree under which several teens were dancing and basically enjoying themselves. Well they were, until one of the support beams keeping it up broke, causing it to topple over and squish those same teens underneath it. One of those poor teens was Yugi Mutou whose head could just be seen poking out from the other side of the branches like a star-shaped ornament. Much shouting could be heard, some of which Seto swore was in Egyptian.

As he thought back on it, he began to giggle insanely. Of course, what he did't tell Mokuba because it didn't involve Yugi and hence was not as funny, was that the support beam also held Santa and his sleigh which slid down the broken beam and kept right on going, right over Bakura who had been having a splendid time talking with Miho. The sleigh stopped, with what appeared to be Dancer, on top of the confused boy. His eyes darkened, his face seeming meaner as he pulled a knife from underneath his sweater vest and hacked the poor plastic reindeer to pieces, as well as the rest of the sleigh team and parts of Santa. By this point, Miho had run away screaming, probably wishing she'd taken Tristan up on his offer of a date years ago.

Mokuba gaped at him. "You found Yugi being crushed by a Christmas tree funny? He could have been seriously hurt!"

Kaiba stifled his laughter as he tried to look sternly at his brother. "Honestly Mokuba, what kind of a person do you think I am? Of course I found it funny; it was a PLASTIC tree, couldn't have weighed more then ten pounds, and he was fine. Except for the tinsel...and the ornaments...which had to be hand..." He fell back into his chair laughing until tears rolled down his cheeks.

Mokuba slowly backed away to the door, shaking his head. 'Maybe it is a good thing the gang doesn't realize what kind of a person my brother is. Honestly, if they only knew what December does to him. Only time of year I ever see him sugar high and we won't discuss the eggnog addiction.' He shuddered at the thought, 'The less said the better.' With a sigh he was reminded of the stash of 'presents' he'd found for the staff while searching the house for his own. 'Overly large and sugary candy canes, antlers, Santa hats and light up Rudolph noses do not good presents make. I hope they have a sense of humor, and if not, at least the Christmas bonuses should make up for it.'

Much later that evening, shifting nervously on the porch, Mokuba took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. A brightly adorned Yugi answered the door with a smile.

"Mokuba! I'm so happy you could make it." His eyes widened at the sight of the huge bag of presents. "Is that all from you?"

Mokuba cringed. "No, Seto sent some gifts for everyone."

Yugi flinched, and with a sigh he stepped aside. "Might as well bring them inside. He'll get them to us sooner or later. The birthday presents proved that."

Mokuba gave a strained smile. "He does like you guys, really. He never bothered with the gag gifts before, so this is progress right?"

Yugi nodded, humoring him. "Right, I'm sure everyone will be happy to open them."

"Open what Yug?" Joey asked coming in to refill his glass of eggnog. He grinned at Mokuba. "Hey kid, nice outfit. Planning on joining Santa this year?" Mokuba rolled his eyes and Yugi snickered. "So open what?"

Yugi turned wide eyes to him, trying to smile. "Kaiba's gifts."

Joey yelped, "NO! No way! Not after last time! I had to spend MONTHS explaining to Dad about those dog bones!" With that, Joey turned and stalked back into the living room, announcing the horror to everyone else present.

Yugi turned back to Mokuba and said with a sigh, "Sorry."

Mokuba shrugged. "Actually that went better then I expected."

A short while later, Mokuba winced as he watched the half-drunk teens giggle and chase each other around with sprigs of mistletoe. He sighed, 'Well at least Seto's gifts went over better then I'd hoped.' They'd all opened his gifts first, just to get it over and done with. Tea hadn't been the same color since, and Tristan had pouted in a corner for an hour, only coming out when Duke coaxed him with the promise of mistletoe. Now, he was the one Tea and Duke were currently chasing. Yami had taken over and spent a good five minutes swearing in Egyptian; at least everyone was sure that's what he had been doing, and he was still sulking. No one had seen where Bakura's gift went, but the fire was burning suspiciously higher. However, Mokuba was more concerned with Joey: he'd turned an unnatural shade of red and stuffed something red in his pocket upon opening his gift. Serenity had badgered him about what he got, and the two had left the room for a while. Hearing a squeal, Mokuba turned from watching Duke claim his victory kiss from Tristan, who was now trapped against the wall, to the doorway where Serenity was pulling a very reluctant Joey into the room to show off his present. Tea had been the one who squealed upon seeing the blonde. His eyes widened when he saw the small red thong with the strategically placed reindeer and quickly shut them. 'I so did not need to see that!' He heard a loud was a loud wolf whistle from Bakura.

"Looking good, Wheeler! Maybe I should see if I can make Rudolph light up." Joey just glared at him, while Tea, realizing that she'd lost to Duke grabbed her gift and stalked toward the still sulking Pharaoh.

"Okay, I think I've reached my limit!" Mokuka cried standing up. "I should probably head home." The others looked blankly at him, confused at the sudden outburst. "Okay Mokuba if you want. Do you need a ride home?" Serenity asked blinking.

Mokuba shook his head frantically and hurriedly called for the limo. When it arrived, he quickly said his goodbyes shoving his presents into the back, including an adorable Blue Eyes plushie with a red ribbon, and collapsed with a sigh of relief into the seat.

The party broke up soon after. Serenity had to make the last train and Tea was passed out cold on the couch, having had too much eggnog, Bakura-style. Joey slid a couple of photos in his pocket that had somehow appeared of him in the stupid underwear Serenity had made him try on.

"Night Yug, great party, though I think it might have been a little much for the kid."

Yugi blushed and rubbed the back of his head, a deep snore coming from the room behind him where Bakura was passed out clutching a mug. "Yeah, well I really didn't think it would get this bad. At least Mokuba drank the eggnog BEFORE Bakura got to it; Kaiba would have killed me otherwise. You headed home?"

"Yeah, got a stop to make first. Have a little present to drop off," Joey said with a nervous smile.

Tristan laid his hand on Joey's shoulder. "I'll come too; I wanna step out before Duke comes back."

Joey grinned, "Don't want to face him huh?"

Tristan just looked down at him. "Would you?"

Joey nodded. "Good point, let's get going." The two said goodbye again and left, walking out into the brisk night.

"So Joey, you going keep your promise?"

Joey scowled. "Hey, you just ran you know, I think that should negate the deal."

Tristan grinned, "Yeah but I got a kiss out of it. You know, those pictures you think no one saw you take would make a fine Christmas card to the Iceman. Maybe if you two finally boff each other, he'll loosen up a bit."

Joey blushed deeply and with a growl punched his friend in the arm. "Shut up." Tristan just smirked at him. "Fine I'll leave the pictures. I was going to anyway, but you're coming with me. You owe me. Don't think I don't know you were the one who stuffed that giant tube of chocolate lube into my locker. I had to explain that one to the principal, thanks to you."

Tristen frowned, "How'd you know it was me?"

Joey rolled his eyes. "You're not that subtle. 'Melt my ice with hot chocolate?' Really dude, how could I not figure it out?"

At short while late, Tristan and Joey stared at the mailbox from the cover of the bushes, Tristan smirking. "You 'prepared' yet, or should we wait another ten minutes?"

Jou blushed again. "You're not helping Tris. Okay, okay I'm going, but if you see anyone..."

"Anyone, mutt? Who else besides you two would be outside my house at...three o'clock in the morning?" Kaiba asked from his place behind the two of them. "And just how long were you two planning on sitting here?" The two swiftly turned and fell backwards into the snow. Kaiba sighed at their ineptitude and swirled his tongue around the tasty treat in his mouth. "Are you two quite finished with the floor show?"

"Hey Kaiba, is that a candy cane, or a Freudian slip?" Tristan asked, eyeing the rather large candy dangling from his mouth.

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "It can't be both? Now I repeat, what are you two doing on my property?"

Tristan snickered while Joey just continued to stare miserably at the ground. "Joey has a present for you, Kaiba. Don't you Joey?"

Joey glared at his friend. "I hate you," he hissed.

Tristan just grinned as he hauled Joey and himself up and dusted off the snow. "No you don't. Now show the nice man the pictures."

Kaiba watched the play-by-play with a low degree of patience and was seconds from summoning the guards when two Polaroids were shoved under his nose. The images caused his eyes to glaze over and he stepped back, slipping on a patch of ice and falling head first back into snowdrift.

Tristan snickered, and then started laughing. "I wish I'd taken Duke's camera with me!"

Joey glared at him. "This is your fault, you know. What exactly did you and Duke do in that bathroom anyway? You're way too happy."

Tristen just smiled. "Shouldn't we dig him out before he suffocates? Then you'd definitely lose the bet."

With a grumble, Joey and Tristan each grabbed a leg and yanked Kaiba free. "Hey Kaiba, looks like you lost your suck toy. Want Joey as a replacement?" Tristan offered with a grin.

Joey shoved him away, a horrified look on his face. "Tris, go home! God, I'm sorry Kaiba. He's always like this when he gets some. I hope Duke jumps your ass!" Joey called to the retreating Tristan.

"Been there, done that, and boy was it fun! And you owe me ten bucks!" Tristan called back.

Kaiba sat in the muck glaring at Joey who was grumbling to himself. "What exactly did you two pea-brains bet on?"

Joey smiled nervously, "Ah well...Wow, it's really gotten cold, huh? We should get you inside so you don't freeze."

Kaiba sighed, "Fine, but you're coming too. I want an explanation." As Joey sighed, Kaiba stuffed the mostly forgotten Polaroids into his pocket. 'That will make a lovely Christmas card next year.'

Inside the mansion the now warm and dry Kaiba frowned at the now warm and dry Joey who sat in a set of borrowed red silk pajamas. "Well, the bet, peon? What was it?"

Joey swallowed. "It's nothing really. Just a stupid bet between friends."

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Right, and I'm poor. Now spill."

Joey sighed, "Alright, alright, but your not gonna like it."

Kaiba smirked, "I'll be the judge of that."

Joey glared. "Fine, Tris and I have bet on stuff for years. Who'd be the first to get a kiss, I won; who'd be the first to get a passing score, he won, and stuff like that. Well this time..."

Kaiba sighed. "It's late, mutt, and I would like to get some sleep."

"Alright! We bet on who'd get to their crushes first, me or him. I'm pretty sure he won with that display out there. Damn jerk, he HAD to pick the sex crazed one; I got the hormone-deficient asshole," Joey said, muttering the last part. "There, you know. Happy now?" He got a hat thrown at him. "What the hell?"

Kaiba grinned, "If you're going to be giving out presents, you should dress accordingly. I did ask Santa for a puppy." Kaiba pushed the stunned Joey down onto the couch and moved over him. "Now, you were saying something about a hormone deficiency? I'm quite sure they're all there." He leaned down to lick Joey's neck and gave him a quick kiss. "Don't you think?" He was answered by a deep groan, and then Joey surged up and grabbed him around the neck, his legs wrapped around his waist.

"If you're teasing me, I'll kill you."

Kaiba nipped his exposed collar bone. "Silly puppy, if I want to tease you, I will. Does Doggy want a bone?"

Joey growled and caused Kaiba to yelp as he flipped them, nuzzling his head into Kaiba's neck, grinding his hips against his body. "Yeah, I think I do, but only if I can choose where to bury it."

Kaiba groaned and threw his head back. "You're such a bad puppy."

Joey grinned against Kaiba's neck. "Yeah, well you cost me ten bucks so I think I deserve a little something."

Kaiba stared down at the blond then shrugged. "Okay."

Later that morning, Mokuba yawned as he bounded down the stairs, headed straight for the tree, only to stop short at the sight of a blond wrapped securely in Kaiba's embrace, a Santa hat askew on his head. With a muffled giggle Mokuba skipped toward the kitchen singing loudly, "I saw Seto kissing Joey Claus, standing by the fire Christmas Eve..." He idly wondered which one, Joey or Tristan, won the bet.

Yugi woke the next day with a raging headache, and a strong desire to pee. However, all that was forgotten when he got a good look at his bathroom. Some say the scream could be heard blocks away. How Bakura and Tea had stayed asleep through it is still unknown, but that's a hangover for you.

Tristan awoke sleepy but very happy, under an uncharacteristically quiet Duke. Apparently, Duke knew lots of fun ways to use his mouth, besides for bragging. Also, who knew that there were so many interesting uses for dice? He hoped Joey was having as much fun, and that he had the ten bucks he now owed him. "Hey Duke, how much do you think we'll owe Yugi to clean and fix his bathroom?"

The End