T.T My long story is getting no love. I feel sorrowful sorekara I write happy funny story! You all love the happy times. I present more gratuitous Gaara.

Wooow, I got a bad review but in an icy kind of way it made sense soooo, all previous Japanese is replaced. If anything, it'll make it quicker to read.

Edit: I all kinds of spellchecked this.


Team Seven was stood outside of a large mansion with an overweight elderly woman. She was dressed in rugged clothes, like a cowboy or something, a far cry from her delicate daughter, by whom she was standing. Their orders were to escort Amano Yukiko from her ranch to Konoha. It was a simple C rank mission and it went as smoothly as any mission could. The worst they encountered were a few giant tigers and Naruto catching diarrhea after eating some of Sasuke's cooking.

"Thanks for the service, you guys. I'm muchly pleased with the service." She ruffled Sasuke's hair with her meaty hand. The Uchiha looked irritated.

Kakashi smiled. "Not a problem. It's our job after all."

Yukiko's daughter, Hanako, bowed demurely. "Please if there is anyway we could repay you properly..."

"No, no. We get paid by the Hoka-"

"RAMEN! I want an all you can eat from Ichiraku!" Naruto exclaimed. Sakura promptly kicked him to the ground.

After gaining her composure she smiled and bowed back to Hanako. "Please no thank you. We couldn't accept any gifts."

Yukiko pulled Sasuke under her arm and gave him a noogie. "You gotta be kidding. You guys were great. I gotta give you something."

The poor Uchiha's face was buried under her armpit, a most unpleasant place to be sure. He struggled with all of his might to get free but he was quickly running out of air.

Kakashi scratched his cheek and looked upwards. "Well, if you insist, I'm sure we could..." Sasuke couldn't hold his breath anymore and inhaled. The strength of her body order almost knocked him out completely. He went limp. "Uhh...could you let Sasuke go, I think he's not feeling well."

"Hm?" Yukiko let him go and gave him a look. His head lolled to one side, his eyes glazed. "More meat. That's what the boy needs and a good trip to...That's it!" she exclaimed pounding her fist into her hand. Sasuke wobbled over to his team. Naruto looked at him with confusion. "You all can go to Sauna and take a break at my sister's hot spring inn. Do your body good. Shoot! Ya'll can bring some of your friends, too."

Naruto balled up his fist in anticipation. "Really? Really?!" Yukiko and Hanako bothed nodded with big smiles on their faces. "WAHOO!" The young shinobi jumped into the air.

Sakura bowed. "Thank you so much." But on the inside...Hell YEAH!! I'll show Sasuke my hot body and he'll definitely fall in love! She giggled inwardly at this thought, shooting the still dazed Uchiha a shy glance.

Their sensei seemed to consider this. Maybe I could invite Kurenai... He formed a mental image of a half drunk Kurenai coming on to him in the middle of a steamy onsen. "Sounds like a great chance to relax. We'll take it."

That done the team headed out. Sasuke, when he regained coherency also agreed that the hot spring sounded like a great idea. "There's no one in particular that I'd want to take though."

Sakura clasped her hands behind her back, "Well, we could ask Ino." The inner Sakura mentally punched her in the jaw. BaaaKAAAAA! "Oh...uh...she's probably working."

The usually loud Naruto seemed to be thinking carefully over who to take. He looked down the street and saw Tsunade walking with the Sand Siblings and talking to Temari. Kankurou and Gaara both looked bored, indicating that the conversation involved things that only girls found interesting or understood.

A light bulb went on in blonde's brain. "OY!!" he screamed down the street. He waved frantically. "TSUNADE OBAASAN! GAARA!"

"Moron," muttered Sasuke. "You't don't have to be so loud." Naruto gave him a filthy look.

When the Fifth Hokage approached he proceeded to explain the situation to her. "We took Yukiko to her daughter's like she wanted to and she's letting us go to her sister's hot spring resort for free! She said we could take anyone we want with us! Cool, huh!"

Tsunade blinked then grinned slyly. "So you're asking me right?"

Naruto's face changed immediately from joy to solemn annoyance. "No. I don't want to see what happens to that wrinkly body of yours when it soaks in the water too long."

"WHY YOU LITTLE-!" She put him in a headlock. It wasn't long before he began to turn red. "WHY DID YOU TELL ME IF YOU WEREN'T ASKING?! HUH?! I'M YOUR HOKAGE YOU SHOULD BE HONORED TO TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

"Ack...I wa...want to...take them!" He pointed to Gaara. Tsunade stopped choking him and looked at the Sand Siblings. Temari looked beside herself with joy. But Kankurou and Gaara looked genuinely surprised.

Gaara looked at Sasuke. They weren't anywhere close to being friends but... the Uchiha offered no answers to whether or not he cared. "I've never been to a hot spring before," he said flatly.

Temari took his shoulders. "It's a lot of fun. You get free food and drinks and the whole purpose is to relax. I haven't been to one since I was little."

Sakura smiled. "We still have other people to invite. Should I invite Shikamaru?" The older girl turned red from head to foot. Kankurou blinked.

"Ah...ah...ah! Oh, well that's really up to you! Hahaha!" Temari fidgeted nervously. "Hahahahaha!"

What's so funny?, Kankurou wondered giving his sister a wierded out look.

Kakashi shrugged. "Well, you guys go ahead and look for others. I have to go save a burning orphanage."

"YEAH RIGHT!" called out Naruto and Sakura but Kakashi was already gone.

Naruto turned to his teammates. "All right! Next up..."

At the Nara estate...

"Is Shikamaru home?" Naruto asked the stern looking woman at the door.

Mrs. Nara sighed and turned slightly. "Shikamaru it's for you." She walked way without a word.

In a few seconds, the lazy eyed chounin appeared. "Hn? What do you guys want?"

"You want to go with us to Sauna! We're getting to go to a cool hot spring resort," explained Naruto exuberantly.

Shikamaru groaned and seemed to think. Do I really want to spend almost a week with this guy? He looked at Naruto then Sasuke. And then listen to these two fight? He looked at Sakura. Then watch her swoon like a moron over that Uchiha guy. He looked over to Gaara and Kankurou, who had followed. Are they going too? . This is going to be so troublesome... He sighed deeply. "I really don't..." Wait, Gaara and Kankurou? He took another look. Temari was blushing profusely and swirling the dirt with her toe. He green eyes shifted his way. Instant sparkles went off in the young Nara's head. All he saw was her and a cloudy background where she sparkled like a star. He coughed. "Sure, I don't care." He and Temari refused to make direct eye contact.

"YES!" Naruto raised a triumphant fist. "All right! Next up..."

At the Hyuuga Estate...

Neji leaned against a battered training pole. "I don't really do hot springs. I can't say I've been but they sound like a waste of time."

Naruto groaned. "Even if Ten-Ten is going?" Sakura said with a grin. This cause the Hyuuga to stiffen. She knew all the hottest couples in Konoha. The reasons were simple. One, she's a girl. A single lady has to know who is taken, on reserve, or up for grabs, even if he's as distasteful as Rock Lee. Two, she was a kunoichi, she had to collect such exclusive information on a daily basis. What better way to practice than to gossip.

Neji coughed turned his back. "... ... I don't care if Ten-ten goes or not but I suppose if it served no purpose then it would at least strengthen the bonds of our team..." He coughed again.

Naruto looked at Hinata, who had yet to answer. "Hinata-chan?" She shook a little. His eyes were on her. He wanted her to go with him to a hot spring. She blushed visibly.

"Ah...ah...if...if...Neji is...going then..." she stammered. She twiddled with her fingers. What should she say? What should she do? He...He was looking at her! "I...I...I want to go too!"

This caused the blonde shinobi to smile. "WOO! We got more people! Next!!!"

At the park...

Kakashi sighed. Kurenai was no where to be found. Chances were that she was off on a mission. That meant that he couldn't take her to the hot spring. That meant he couldn't... He looked at his book of "Icha-Icha Paradise". "Ah, man," he groaned with his shoulders slumped.

"KAKASHI!" screamed a familiar voice.

"And my day got worse. How ironic," he mused.

Maito Gai saundered up to him with his prize student, Rock Lee following behind him. The extravagant jounin pointed at his eternal rival. "I have come to challenge you."

"What else is new?"

This caught Gai off guard. "Hmmmmmm? You look more apathetic than usual." He bent over to look face to face at Kakashi. He closed his eyes knowingly. "I know what this look is..."

"What is is, Gai-sensei? Is he sick?" Lee inquired anxiously.

"YES! The most terribly sickness of all my student..." Gai clenched his fists shut. "Sickness of the heart!!!" Kakashi gave an exasperated look and sweated. Gai was serious and that's why it was disturbing.

Lee regarded Kakashi has his sensei ranted on about love. He walked over. "Kakashi-sensei..."


"I think I may understand how you feel. Even though I do not know who she is, I think that no matter what you should without fail pursue your heart's dream. That is my romantic way of the ninja." He gave the patented thumbs up to Kakashi.

"LEE!" Gai wailed, rearing back. He was about to punch Lee for not listening to his burning speech about love when Kakashi caught his fist.

"As much as I know I'm going to regret at least half of this request... Gai, Lee. How would you two like to go to a hot spring resort with my team and some friends?" The two wierd eyed shinobi looked dumbfounded. Kakashi smiled.