Disclaimer- I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.
Summary- Keiko's fed up with Yusuke's cases always interrupting their dates. So, she forces him to take the night off just once. In can't be that bad right? I mean, what could possibly happen in one night?
AN: A bit of OOCness and absurdity all around, but this was mostly for fun. Warning! Will be poking fun and various different people and things, as well as the breaking the fourth wall!
Yusuke Urameshi was not having a very fun day. Number one, he had just come back from a short, yet grueling chase involving several monkey demons, a nest, and piles of... well... crap.
Apparently they had stolen some important artifact or something, but Yusuke couldn't dwell on that, and didn't pay much attention when he grabbed it seeing as how he had bigger problems. Reason number two or his 'bigger problem' for his crappy day was in front of him.
It wasn't the fact that he hated the girl in front of him, just the opposite. He was head over heels in love with her. Now if only she'd just stop yelling at him!
"Keiko, I said I was sorry! Come on, what did you want from me! I have a job to do!" Yusuke protested.
"Yusuke, just once, would you stop running after adventure and just stay with me on one full date!" Keiko Yukimura, Yusuke's girlfriend, pleaded, "Or do you not want to spend time with me?" Her voice turned dangerous and low, her light brown, almost red eyes narrowed.
Yusuke knew where this was going, and knew that he was walking a very fine line between being put in the doghouse and living to see another day. Finally, he decided to hell with it. "I do Keiko! Fine, how about this. Next week, I'll take you on a full date, the whole nine yards. No matter what comes up, I'll stay the entire time, I promise." Yusuke looked her right in the eye, to prove he was serious.
Keiko looked skeptic. "Promise?"
"Even if the very fires of Hell are raining down." Yusuke raised his arm solemnly and nodded.
He didn't factor in that he might be eating his own words soon.
Keiko smiled at him, that wonderful smile he loved so much. "Thank you Yusuke!" She squealed (which was entirely unlike her) and was about to hug him when she smelt the air. "But I'm not coming within five miles of you until you've had a shower!"
"Yusuke, you can't give up your duties next week!" Koenma protested, "I've got reports that some demons are-"
"Koenma, unless you want a very dead Spirit Detective next week, you will let me go." Yusuke shot back, "Besides, I'll ask Kuwabara to cover for me."
"And Kurama." Yusuke added as an afterthought, shuddering at leaving the fate of the world in his... slightly unbalanced friend. The fox demon would be a much better substitute.
"Yusuke-" Koenma huffed, but the door burst open at that moment and Yusuke's secret weapon came in.
"Koenma, you'd better let Yusuke have that night off!" Botan the ferry girl said sharply, glaring at him.
The ruler of Spirit World withered under her glare, turning his outraged glare at Yusuke. The look was clear. 'You sneaky bastard.'
Yusuke smirked. Botan had a leash on Koenma for a while, and it had only tightened now that they were dating. The ferry girl was sure to understand, and was eager to help him.
"Very well Yusuke. But just one night." Koenma sighed.
"Oh come on, what could go wrong in one night?" Botan said cheerfully.
Famous last words.
Elsewhere in Living World, evil was afoot! Within a shadowy building, a demon plotted.
Or... below ground. Or... in a place that...
Hell, I don't know. I'm the freaking narrator! What do you want from me! Its not like I actually know where these people meet!
That's it! I quit!
(Five minutes later)
Okay, sorry about that folks. The old narrator was a bit on edge. Back to the story!
In a spooky, creepy place somewhere, an absurdly powerful demon that no one has ever even heard of plotted some random megalomaniacal plan that was probably doomed to failure from the start.
"Mwhahahaha!" The voice laughed insanely. "Soon I will crush every living soul into dust! My plan will work perfectly! Those fools at Spirit World will never be able to stop this plan! Soon they will all taste oblivion! Which tastes just like Red Bull! Which is disgusting!"
Another, more sane voice piqued up. "Sir, I'm afraid that we just don't have the resources to play Justin Timberlake CDs all across the globe."
"Damn!" The demon swore, and began pacing. "How about my plan to destroy the Internet?"
"Sir, you don't have any knowledge of how to even turn on a computer. With all do respect, of course."
"How about the one where I use some forgotten ancient and evil ritual to enhance my power?"
"We don't have any of the main ingredient."
"Damn! I knew I should have gotten some B batteries, but they're so hard to find!"
The second shape, if you could see him (which you can't!), raised an eyebrow. "But sir, I thought you found one at a gas station?"
"They're so darn expensive there!"
"Sir, you realize that we are demons. You could have stolen them."
"Who's the evil overlord here?"
The second demon sighed. "You, sir."
The demons brainstormed over plans, but each one had a flaw in them. Finally, he resorted throwing his hands into the air in annoyance. "Fine, we'll just go with the standard steal some random super powerful artifact plan."
"Excellent choice sir."
"Have it done immediately. Now leave. I wish to continue gloating and muse about some old enemy of mine that will undoubtedly show up later and also to leave plot hints." The demon waved his hand.
"Very well sir," The second shape bowed and left.
The demon waited till the door hissed shut before beginning his evil musings. "Soon the-" He paused, calling back his subordinate. "What artifact are we stealing?" He asked belatedly.
The second shape sighed. "The Orb of Utter and Complete Doom that will go off anyway and the good guys will still be able stop it thanks to some random Deus Ex Machina."
"Very good then. Soon I will crush all life on this world!" The second shape coughed, and the demon turned. "Uh... except for you, Number Two. You're my assistant crusher." He said, somewhat sheepishly.
"Looking forward to that sir."
"Excellent. Oh, and remind me to call my mother. You know how she gets."
"Of course sir."
The next day, unaware of the evil that was afoot (standard modus operandi), Yusuke was currently giving his best friend and former punching bag the down low, as you kid's say.
Okay, I'll stop.
"Ha! Of course you can count on me! I can do a much better job than you! Cause I'm Kazuma Kuwabara!" The redhead boasted, making a dramatic pose.
"Don't hurt yourself there Kuwabara," Yusuke drawled, "And its only one night. And Kurama will be going along with you, to make sure you don't die. Or screw up."
"I can't believe you wouldn't trust me with this!" Kuwabara said angrily.
Yusuke rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't trust you to watch a goldfish after you what you did to my house." He snapped.
"If you're talking about that time it caught fire-"
"Under your watch this time, unlike my mother's."
"That was completely not my fault! How was I supposed to know that the stove would do that!"
"Its called common sense you idiot! If you leave a stove alone, chances are it's going to do that!"
Kuwabara glared at him. "Come on, you can trust me."
"Two words." Yusuke said slowly. "Hell. No. There's no way in Hell I'm trusting you with the entire world."
"Oh come on Urameshi! What are the chances of anything happening that one night anyway!"
Of course, there wouldn't be a story if nothing happened.
Okay, there could be, but that would be really boring.
AN: A few of the jokes here was courtesy of Red vs Blue, mostly the main villain's remarks. I don't own that, by the way. Thanks for reading and please review!