Summary: A very odd experience Harry has one day. And I mean very odd. One-shot, read and review!

Disclaimer: Yo tengo nada... (I know it doesn't mean "I own nothing" but it was as close as I could get with my limited Spanish vocabulary!)


Both sides of Harry's face were burning as the snow seeped into his skin, stinging it and beginning to rip him of all feeling. He sat up in the waist-deep snow surrounding the Hogwarts grounds just to find Malfoy and his stupid, fat friends laughing obnoxiously loudly at him from the shore of the lake. Fuming, he got up and began to stomp toward the castle, pressing so hard on the snow that he fell in to his mid-thigh with every step he took, making Malfoy and Company laugh even harder. Harry stared at them with daggers for eyes as they started to walk across the ice of the lake. They got to the middle and Malfoy stood, straight and tall, staring at the suddenly very gray sky. Crabbe and Goyle stood next to him for a few seconds before oddly falling through the ice and into the freezing water. This time it was Harry's turn to double over in laughter.

But he had the last laugh as he watched Crabbe and Goyle mysteriously climb out of their respective holes that they had fallen through, Malfoy receiving applause for their actions. Why were they applauding for him? Harry was wondering. Out of nowhere, girls skidded across the ice, throwing parchment and quills at Malfoy for him to sign.

Shrugging, Harry walked less angrily to the icy steps to enter the building. He ascended them without slipping, thankfully- though everyone was so engrossed in Malfoy that they probably wouldn't have noticed if he fell on his face and there was blood spewing everywhere- and then opened one of the large doors into the Entrance Hall. Harry almost fell over backwards when he saw what was inside. The room was decorated with huge palm trees, and the climate had changed easily to that of a tropical island in the Caribbean. The doors to the Dining Hall were opened, and they revealed a room full of tables with white table cloths, various Hogwarts students and teachers mingled with celebrities, chatting casually as though they saw each other everyday and eating gourmet foods. The song "Drop it Like it's Hot" was playing loudly in the background, but Harry couldn't see whether or not it was being performed live. He looked at the ground again and saw that it had now turned into sand. When he looked up, Draco Malfoy was descending the grand marble staircase in a pair of beach trunks, showing off an extremely toned stomach. His arm was linked with that of another girl. He looked at her face and almost fainted again, for the girl was Hermione! She was wearing a very skimpy bikini and a short sarong. Harry was about to say something when someone standing close to the entrance of the Dining Hall caught his eye. It was one of the celebrities... Britney something... But he couldn't for his life remember her last name.

When the pimp's in the crib ma

Drop it like it's hot

Drop it like it's hot

"Harry! Hey! Listen, I'm really sorry about that snowball earlier today," Malfoy said, patting Harry on the shoulder as though they were old friends.

Drop it like it's hot

"Oh, it's okay. But why is Britney-" he started.

When the pigs try to get at ya

Park it like it's hot

Park it like it's hot

"Harry, aren't you hot?" Hermione questioned in a husky, seductive voice that was very unlike her usual one. What had gotten into her? She started to slowly pull of Harry's layers of clothing until he was in nothing but his boxers.

Park it like it's hot

"Er... I don't have a bathing suit to wear... And why is Britney-" he couldn't get that stupid girl out of his brain.

"It's quite alright, Harry," Hermione said, suddenly releasing her hair from the ponytail it had been in. She shook it, almost in slow motion, letting it cascade down her shoulders. She licked her lips seductively and leaned in to kiss him, but when their lips were merely half a centimeter apart, she whipped her head around and started making out with Malfoy a little bit too intimately.

When they finally pulled apart, Malfoy started talking to him. "Uh, I'm a nice dude, with some nice dreams. I got my ice cubes, see these ice creams? Eligible bachelor, million dollar boat that's whiter than what's spilling down your throat." He spun around quickly and darted off into the Dining Hall, Hermione at his heels. When he peered shyly- he was still only wearing his boxers- into the room, he saw Malfoy on a huge stage, lights flashing on him from all directions, rapping and wearing lots of huge diamond necklaces, very baggy jean shorts, and immaculately white Nike sneakers. In the background several scantily clad girls including Hermione, Ginny, Cho, and Pansy were all shaking their asses against each other and against Malfoy.

Suddenly someone threw themselves onto the stage out of the audience and started yelling in Malfoy's face. It took a minute for Harry to realize that it was Ron! Now Crabbe and Goyle, dressed in all black outfits and bore the word "Security" over their chests and upper backs pushed the two apart before they started to get into a fistfight, which Malfoy would obviously win because he had a weapon: the jagged jeweled rings he bore on his fists that would rip Ron's skin to ribbons if he punched him.

Somehow uninterested, Harry turned and walked slowly up the marble staircase, forgetting about his clothes that he left behind and leaving small tracings of sand where his feet had stepped. He turned a corner on the second floor of the school to find that it had suddenly been transformed into a huge casino with everything from blackjack to poker to slot machines to drinks. The one downside was that this time the music blaring form the speakers was Avril Lavigne's "My Happy Ending"- very un-casino-ish.

You were everything, everything that I wanted

Harry grimaced at the sound of Avril's incessant wails and then jumped when someone spun him around. It was Hermione. She leant in closely to him, this time actually kissing him and it continued for several minutes straight until she stopped and smiled at him. With that, she turned and ran out of the casino, disappearing around a corner.

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

"Huh," was Harry's reaction. He scratched the side of his head and then decided to get a drink. He plopped down on a bar stool at the bar a few yards away and ordered himself a butterbeer. He turned to his left and saw Dean Thomas looking upset as he drank a small glass containing ice and a thin brown liquid.

"Trying to cut back on the alcohol, eh?" Dean inferred.

"What?" was Harry's response.

"You're getting a butterbeer."

Harry nodded, very confused. He took a sip of butterbeer to clear his thoughts.

And all of the memories so close to me just fade away

"This is him!"

Suddenly Harry was grabbed by someone behind him and thrown off the stool, spilling butterbeer all over the scratchy green and gold rug.

"Put your hands up!" a cloaked figure commanded.

Harry threw his hands above his head as he got pinned on the ground. He found that he was somehow wearing a business suit, and it was being checked hastily. A piece of parchment emerged from his pocket.

"This is it!" another cloaked figure said, examining the document.

All this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending.

"Seamus Finnigan, you're under arrest for the stealing of a fancy document," the first cloaked figure informed him, pulling a feeble Harry off the ground and pinning his arms behind his back.

Harry didn't care that they had gotten his name wrong, he just didn't understand what this "fancy document" was. "What is this thing?" he voiced his question. "This... this... document thing." He felt annoyingly inarticulate.

It's nice to know that you were there

Thanks for acting like you cared

And making me feel like I was the only one

It's nice to know we had it all

Thanks for watching as I fall

And letting me know we were done

Harry could feel hundreds of eyes staring at him as the cloaked figures pushed him roughly out of the casino and down the marble staircase. The Entrance Hall was back to normal again- no sand or palm trees- but the Dining Hall was still filled with music ("Shorty got down low and said come and get me. I was so caught up, I forgot she told me. Her and my girl used to be the best of homies. Next thing I knew, she was all up on me screaming yeah, yeah, yeah."), celebrities, and wizards.

You were everything, everything that I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it

And all of the memories so close to me just fade away

All this time you were pretending

As they pushed Harry out of the doors to Hogwarts and into the frigid night air, telling him of his doom at Azkaban that was now awaiting him, he caught a glimpse of Malfoy and Hermione hooking up again before she flashed him a sly smile.

So much for my happy ending


Suddenly Harry shot up in bed, wiping sweat from his brow, glancing frantically around him. No palm trees. No music. No hooking up Malfoy and Hermione. No Azkaban. It had been a dream :)


A/N: The end! If people actually review it :-/ I'll write Draco's Nighttime Adventure, Hermione's Nighttime Adventure, Ron's Nighttime Adventure, etc. Whatever you want! Just review it xD