By Jia Zhang

Anno Domini. The year of the Lord. One could never truly understand why Humans continuously fall to the words and laws of God. They put themselves through pain and unneeded punishment just so that they can be taken away into Heaven after their pitiful souls have relinquished themselves from Assiah. Yet, if they had let go of their definitions of sin and allowed themselves to relish in the glory of life, there would have been no need for them to go to Heaven at all.

It is all too peculiar, One believes. Much too paradoxical.

Now, those foolish mortals have no idea what their religion is…what their Bible is. Ah, but One knows the truth; there was never a child from the Father to save Man, no Messiah to release the burden of their Sins. One knows that it is all a corsage of lies, lowly folklores made to influence, to control the masses. But wouldn't that be a sin in itself?

Enlightenment? What a bunch of ridicules notions. The Bible…it is the word of Man, not God, to control and to rule. It is Laws, a set order. There is nothing else behind them.

There are so many rules that Humans enforce on themselves because of God and his Laws. But in the end, what is it all for? Humans can never truly enter Heaven, and if they do, it is no different than their laborious Assiah. In fact, One believes it's better on Assiah than in Heaven.

Sin. One was branded as a Fallen because of Sin. One had committed so many as a Virtue. But One doesn't mind; One found what One was looking for because of Sin.

Those children, they found happiness within their Sin—love between a brother and sister; incest, the heaviest and most forbidden of all of God's Laws. Society looks down upon it. But…it is all a hypocrisy.

They preach love…that love conquers all. They are lying through their teeth. Two innocent souls found love in each other—found happiness. But they wish to destroy it—they wish to break it, shattered it into pieces and watch it melt under the bleeding sun. They wish to destroy something so pure and beautiful just because of the Law of a God that does not know love.

All a hypocrisy.

Sometimes, One wishes to be human, to be rid of all the burdens that one carries as a Fallen—a Devil. Simply because Devils have abolished their beliefs in Sin, doesn't mean we can see the same happiness those Two have seen.

One wishes to be set free, to understand Oneself. To understand the Existence. To understand the Chaos. Ah, but One will forever remain the Mad Hatter, never Alice who wanders in and out of Wonderland. One will continue to have tea with the Queen of Hearts, and watch the deck of cards paint the roses red with crimson. One's head is on the end of the axe; there is no relief.

One used to hate One's own existence, the very skin in which One was created in. One surrendered Oneself to Sin, to the completion and desires of the Flesh. All loved One, for One's Flesh and bones and blood in which the Father had created. One believes we are all a little like Alexial in some ways; deep down, we all wish to be loved by a Father that does not care for our existence. Maybe this was why One hated Oneself, wished to change One and become no longer the delusional Mad Hatter, constantly playing a game of croquet.

One wanted to be loved. Always wanted to be loved. But One was still terribly afraid of the dark. That is, till One met the Lord Lucifer.

Ah…One could not contain One's desire for One's magnificent Lord. To bask in His glory was simply overwhelming. But oh, unlike all the Others One's Lord did not love One like they did—not for flesh, blood or bone. But unlike the Father, One's Lord was capable of love—capable of the love that One never understood, but always sought for. A labyrinth of enigmatic obsessions.

But He was gone now—like all the others Death took at the Wake.

The grains of sand floated in the air as the wind came calling, singing its song for the Lament. One brushes One's hand against the sand—time seemed to stand still. Why does One still exist? One no longer has a Lord to serve—Hell was swallowed whole, the womb now blank with extinction. The War was over. God was dead, and utopia had become Assiah. What was One's purpose now?

Ah, dear Setsuna, One truly envies you.


The Mad Hatter turned his head at the sound of Asmodeus' voice. He gave a small smile to his fellow Satan, and turned back towards the sky that led to Heaven.

"It's close, isn't it?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hmm…Nothing really. One was simply wondering about some things."

"Oh? Care to elaborate what you are pondering?"


"Sin? You're wondering about sin?"

"Is that so strange?"


The Mad Hatter snickered. "One was just thinking…how Humans abide by so many rules. Yet, everything they believe in is a lie."

"They're simple minded creatures; don't mind them."

"But oh, how One envies them."

"You envy them?"



"They are bounded…yet…if they saw the truth, and let go of their rendition of sin and basked in the glory of their life, they would find true happiness. Setsuna and Sara…their happiness is absolute taboo. But they're still happy. One really envies them."


"But we are not bound by sin? Hmm…You're right. But still…I'm not sure…our sin still exists. It's as if our existence is a sin in itself. Perhaps we are the Sin that Father committed. Perhaps."

A rather nostalgic smile gave over his soft features. The Mad Hatter did not move from his place on the rock that stood as in island in the dunes of sand that now covered Hell. He looked up at the heavens.

"Maybe One is looking for the utopia humans have found…it isn't Heaven, so what is it?"

Asmodeus slowly moved towards the Fallen Virtue. He gently grabbed the Mad Hatter's small wrist, pulling him up from his place on the rock. The other Satan looked to him curiously, unsure what Asmodeus was thinking.

He bent down and placed a small kiss on Belial's lips.

"Do you want to see utopia? Do you want to be in Heaven?"


"Then let go of everything…let go of your struggle, and simply exist. Exist, Belial, and you'll be like them. You'd have found your Heaven."

Asmodeus pulled Belial closer to him, kissing him once again. "So, my butterfly, what do you want?"

"One wants…"

Belial smiled.

"I want…"


© December 2004 by Jia Zhang. All rights reserved.