My Only Wish
It was the Eve of Christmas, the most lovable Earth holiday. Over the years, which I have dwelled upon this planet, it had also become a favorite holiday of mine. The emotions that humans suddenly displayed during this season were almost Tamaranian in nature, and it reminded me of home. Do not mistaken my words for sickness of the home or for any ounce of sadness, though. I would never dream of this holiday ever causing me to produce an ounce of sad yearning for home. It was more similar to…what was the word…I wish to describe all my joy well but my tongue is once again failing me. In the most simple and least lavish of explanation, the season of Christmas allowed me to experience a glimpse of home in my adopted home, and it just made me feel so blessed that I have experienced such emotions and that my friends may rejoice in the festivities of the season.
The communication device that allows humans to converse verbally rang in the common room. It must be Robin! I eagerly flew over towards the mechanism, but suddenly realized that I was not very clean at the moment. There was dough and flour stuck to my hands and face from my endeavor in making cookies. However, the other titans were nowhere near the room, so I had to risk the dirtying of the 'phone' (Despite what Robin instructs, I prefer my name for the device. It is so much more specific and clear is it not?).
"Greetings of festivities, friend! Starfire at your service! Who is it that you wish to speak to on this glorious afternoon?" I answered the Titan communication device in my usual manner out of fear that it was not Robin but some fan of ours.
"You of course, who else?" I smiled and felt my body float to the air. I was correct. It was Robin. The manner in which he spoke to me, especially, of late always left me flustered and filled with truly boundless joy. I believe that I had fallen completely "cranium over the heels," as Beast Boy put, it for our dear, titan leader.
"Robin! Glorious of you to call! Where are you at the present moment?" I was still in the air floating around the phone.
He sighed softly with a tint of frustration. "I'm still at the airport. Apparently, there have been some flight delays, but I promise, I'll be home tonight for sure. So will I still be able to recognize the tower when I get back or will you have transformed it completely like you did last year?"
"The exterior will be recognizable or at least, I should hope. I allowed Beast Boy and Raven the liberty to decorate that. As for the interior, I do hope it is satisfactory in comparison to last year…but I am attempting to make some cookies."
"Mmm…you're already making me hungry." I envisioned him smiling from the airport. How thankful I was that he was returning tonight, that I would once again be in his presence…
"They are not yet baked… do not worry, and I have not added any Tamaranian ingredients to them."
Genuine disappointment filled his voice this time. "Star…I think I have to go, my cell's running low on batteries, and Bruce and Alfred still want me to call them back to make sure that I got to the airport okay. But God, you won't believe how much I missed you these last few days. I feel like a kid…can't wait to get back home." My face felt flushed as I hear him utter such sweet, wonderful words.
"I have missed you greatly as well…" And that was lucidly true, beyond a doubt upon my mind. Despite all the decoration work, the shopping, the preparation, there was still a soft, drooping veil of loneliness that hung about even in short moments of silence or during those brief lapses in work. My friends-I loved them all greatly, but Robin…as I had realized these past few days, no one could replace his presence, his alluring gaze, the manner in which he simply was…
He reassured me, though, that our time of parting was nearing its end. "It's okay Star…I'll be with you really soon, just a matter of a few hours..."
"Yes, I understand…I apologize for the excessive expend-age of battery that you have spent on me. (Wonderful…he was nothing short of that. He quickly uttered a quick "No, you're never a waste of time.") Fare thee well."
"Yea, I'll see you in a bit."
And then there was an awkward pause; such pauses had been exceedingly rare as our relationship progressed through the years. But this time, it was a pause in which both of us were unwilling to hang up yet at a complete loss of words for we still had much to say to each other yet so much that we knew not where or when to begin speaking.
"I…I love you." Robin uttered softly, vocalizing those three most lovely earth words. I was surprised by his greater than usual display of the deeper, couple-like sentiments.
"I love you as well." And with that, all that had been needed to be said was said. I gently hung up the phone and sighed.
I was foolishly in love…completely smitten as Raven called it. How wonderfully different things had become these last few years…we had all become older and though some people still refer to us as the Teen Titans, most refer to us as simply the Titans. We were "of the age" now in earth years.
I do not wish to tell everything in detail of how our relations (Robin and mine) evolved from mere "best friendship' to courtship and to love, but it was a long but greatly rewarding process. We laugh and smirk now when we view our actions as adolescents… my naivety…his dark obsessions; he is mainly rid of all of that now, except when Speedy comes to visit…he seems to become tense again. The reason is yet unknown to me. Robin claims that Speedy and him are "tight" yet Robin can be so strained around him.
The room felt more silent as I returned to the process of making cookies. Everything seemed to dim down slightly, to lose the brilliant vibrancy of life that they inherently possessed, after Robin.
Oddly, though I still felt bubbly and rather foolish as well.
My cheeks…I did not believe it…again, I was blushing. We had been parted for none but five days for Robin to return to his hometown, Gotham and pay long-needed holiday visits to "the Bat," Alfred, and his other past companions. This romantic interaction…it should be natural now, but yet it never ceased to amaze me how flustered I become sometimes, especially after spans of time when we have parted.
The morning before his flight to Gotham, at the unearthly hour of three of the morning, he was up and preparing to leave for his trip. Exhausted as we both were (we had fought another ferocious villain hours prior), we were both awake (or to some extent of it). I once again offered to accompany him to Gotham as he lugged a few bags towards the elevator. "Robin, it will be nothing of a burden. I would not mind flying near your plane if there are no more tickets."
He yawned most adorably as he continued towards the elevator. "You're far too tired…and besides you love decorating for Christmas. If you came with me, we'd be coming back Christmas Eve. You'd have no time to decorate anything."
True, one of the most pleasurable activities of the year was this preparation for Christmas, yet without him here…it would certainly not be as enjoyable.
"I want you to stay here. You'll be happier here, not stuck in some extravagant party Bruce is throwing. I'll be fine." He placed his hand upon my shoulder, and I nodded in agreement. I was much too exhausted to argue with him. My eyelids felt heavy…unnaturally heavy. Just stay in the land of the wake for slightly longer. You shall receive all the sleep you desire later.
I leaned against him, embracing gently him in the human manner. For once, I lacked the Tamaranian strength to bestow upon him a proper farewell hug. My eyelids were being extremely heavy at the moment, and feeling the convulsions of his chest was relaxing. I could slumber…
He gently shook my shoulder. "Star…? Starfire? Kori?"
"Oh…I apologize…" I began to yawn profusely. "Yes?"
"Go to bed."
"I will after I see you off."
He yawned and smirked slightly. "You're too stubborn sometimes."
"I enjoy being stubborn about formalities as this."
With that and a quick sigh ("Tamaranians…why am I madly in love with one"), he suddenly scooped me from the ground and carried me in his arms. "You need rest right now."
"Robin, there is really no need to carry me…" Though I did enjoy it. Vastly.
"You were being too stubborn."
"I could manage to carry you with greater efficiency." I uttered while still in his arms.
"I know…but I'd still rather carry you. Hey, I have to practice carrying you if we were to ever get married. I don't know about Tamaran, but on earth, males tend to be the ones carrying the females." Matrimony? Had he just suggested…but both of us were tired beyond a doubt, a probable result of exhaustion…
"In that case, you have my permission to practice…future husband." We were in my room now, amused by each other's company. He gently placed me upon my bed, all the while, "tucking me in."
"I'll see you in a few days." He whispered. "Are you sure you do not need me to accompany-" He shook his head and silenced me with a kiss upon the forehead. Then, turning towards the door, he shut the lights.
I felt lucky being wanted and loved so well. Ten full-length Tamaranian poems of joy would not even suffice to describe these emotions.
It was now night, after the feast of dinner. We tried to wait for Robin's arrival, but there was another phone call, and he was still stranded in the port of planes. I was disappointed, to say the least, but he reassured me that he would be home by the dwindling hours of the night. There was nothing for me to do now, except wait…the preparations were complete.
I flew about the hallways and decided to busy myself by going back through all the decorations. Yes, the tree was in place. I could add a few more colorful ornaments and lights to it…yes I shall do that. And perhaps, produce a few more paper flakes of snow (those were most enjoyable indeed to make). Oh yes, and the proper music. How could I have forgotten? Beast Boy's vast compact disc collection was stuffed on the shelves. Of course, they were not in any organized order, so it was a difficult search to find the location of his Christmas music.
It was nearing midnight after my last minute preparations, and I regretted not going to the city party we had been invited to. Beast Boy and Raven attended. Yes, I was surprised about Raven, but she justified it as being a civic duty that we, as superheroes "just have to do sometimes." I was still experimenting with the creation of cookies then (my first 'batch' had become burnt in the oven), so I politely refused the invitation.
I was restless as I flew through the tower again…but I should retire. The sooner I fall to sleep the better…perhaps, when I wake, Robin shall be here. Slowly, I drifted gently into the loving arms of slumber…
The world dimmed again. We were outside beneath the flickering brightness of distant galaxies streaked across the night sky, but my study of the heavens was interrupted as I felt a heavy and hateful fist strike me from behind. It was Slade.
On reaction, I conjured and show several star bolts at him. The green sparks of light refracted from his chest plate-he seemed completely undamaged though several of my bolts struck him directly. I flew further into the air as he came after me.
From this altitude, I saw the battlegrounds below. We were at the city prison, and the prisoners were escaping-a breaking of the jail. Cyborg was on the ground, sealing off the entrance to prevent the prisoners from escaping while Beast Boy and Raven were trying to force them back into manacles-all of them are deeply entrenched in their work. But Robin…where was-my eye catches a glimpse of him. Cinderblock has him in his grasp…I wished to help him but was suddenly grasped by the ankle and thrust to the ground. It was exceedingly painful, to say the least.
I struggled, shot beams from my eyes in all direction, but he would not loosen his grasp. He pushed his foot against my stomach-full of hate. I struggled vehemently, but it was to no avail…I gasped as I see him pull out a large laser cannon. Time seemed to slow to a halting stop as I viewed his hand upon the trigger. There was no escape, I felt frozen, locked into this fate…and then a sound, a scream, a sob, and hateful, terrible laughter.
The sob belonged to me…I remained undamaged, but Robin was plummeting to the ground with light drips of red liquid covering his clothes and cape. The scream was his…the laughter belonged to Slade, but he did not matter at the moment. I flew down to catch him, feeling hot drips of tears from my eyes. Robin, he had to be all right. He must be saved. If he was…I cannot even bear to think of the word…if he were to…if he was…to pass from this world…
He neared the ground; I had enough time only to grasp his cape. There was a quiet snap, and I landed upon the ground.
"Robin, Robin! Speak…please!" He was in my arms…his eyes appeared to be shut through his mask as I called out to him. Perhaps, he was merely unconscious at the moment, and I shook him gently, but then harder when he did not stir. It could not be…I would not let it be that he had…
"Please…please…" But as he laid in my arms, he felt heavy, unnaturally heavy. He remained still…it could not be…oh, X'hal, it could not be, let it not be true…
But it was.
The truth, the inexplicable, terrible truth. I did not want to accept it…but it was reality. I did not wish to acknowledge that he lost his life for me, but it was the truth. I needed him, but reality cannot be changed.
"You killed him." Slade appeared from behind and slickly uttered those words. "He lost his life because of you. He may have survived the fall, but you caught him by the cape…you broke his neck. You-"
I interrupted him abruptly, star bolt in hand. "You klorbag! You have destroyed…" But I stop…it was my fault, and Slade was correct for once. I sunk to the floor, wishing to perish. The selfish thought-the wish for death quickly evaporated: my friends still needed me and I needed to live for them.
But how could I when he was vanished from this earth forever? I felt worn, faded away…
And then all was still. I opened my eyes, fearing what I should see…I was in my room. Oh! It was but a dream, and a gracious sweep of relief flowed through me. Robin was undamaged and safe from harm, and perhaps, he had returned home. As I lifted myself from the bed, the phone rang again. I rushed towards it. "Robin?"
"Hey Star-I'm sorry to say that-" And the call suddenly terminated.
"Robin? Robin? Are you…" It was to no avail. The line was dead.
He was all right; he still spoke, and he was not destroyed as you had dreamt. But the abrupt termination left me ill at ease.
Be rational. He mentioned earlier that his phone was lacking in battery power…that was perhaps the reason.
But…The voice of despair remained embedded in my mind. The dream…
They were clearly just doubts, senseless, foolish doubts that I conjured in my mind from the lack of work.
True, but just what if…
What if…that was ridiculous, and I was now acting as the Klorbag.
The little voice of doubts of fantasy would not cease. Perhaps, just to quench the doubts, I should try the communicator. I pressed the button. "Robin…I understand that we should not be using our communicators for such uses, but I just wish to know, is your cellular speaking device dead in battery power?"
He was not responding.
It was, perhaps, just that Robin is in an area in which he cannot receive communication from others. There should be nothing to worry about. I should return to slumber…he would surely be back when I awoke.
But do you not remember the last time he did not respond? He became Slade's apprentice, forcibly of course, but what if something terrible were to befall him.
I was being completely irrational and the little voice of despair was clinging upon my last nerves. Sensible-I must be sensible. It was the Eve of a most wondrous earth holiday…I should be calm, happy, and content.
What about Robin? If any danger had befallen him…
The nightmare remained lucidly in my mind, corroborating my fears. But lovers became fools as Raven had always mentioned to me. Logic. I must be logical. Robin was all right, and he would soon be here at the tower. Feeling calmer, I returned to my room, though still slightly jumpy. I was such a fool…to be so irrational…but alas, it was Robin I was speaking of, and I could be completely insane about him…I laid down upon my bed again.
The what ifs filled my head again, and I could not sleep.
I left the bed and walked into the common room. I could slumber upon the couch. It was near the elevator, which he must come through when he arrived.
"Robin!" I yelled out his name as I observed the rocks tumble from the peak of the mountain. He did not see and continued in the impossible perusal of the villain. "Desist, Robin! Let him…" I doubted that he had heard a word, and the other titans were busy fending for themselves. Cyborg had nearly fallen down into the sea below. I was the only one who could alert him. I flew rapidly towards him as I continued yelling out his name. The rocks…they fell nearer; they were sharp and large. There was no manner in which a Terran such as Robin could survive the magnitude of the mass of these boulders. I must save him.
He had finally noticed how near the rocks were; there was fear in his eyes as he finally noticed my presence. "Star-" I gave him a reassuring smile and push him from the path of the rocks and proceeded to extricate myself from the path of the boulders, but there was not enough time.
It was a sharp pain at first when the first rock scratched my abdomen. A groan escaped from my lips as another bumps and piled down upon my shoulder. I placed my hand over my abdomen. Red, warm dabs appeared upon my palm. It was blood…? Strange how it was not as painful as I would have expected. My head felt lighter than usual, perhaps, all logic had been erased during this moment. I was falling, falling towards the unforgiving sea below. I felt no fear, simply gratitude that I came to the aid of him when he was in need. If only he could have known how glorious it had been to simply exist in his presence before I perished…
There was a yelling out of my name, but I was too exhausted to look. I felt a hand grasp out for my arm…we touched for a moment, a mere brush truly, but with a wisp of breeze, my hand fell from the grasp as I continued tumbling beneath the rocks into the sea. A sharp pain from the coldness of the water and the burning of the sea salts upon my wounds, and the world faded to black. X'hal…dear X'hal…
Flashes of color lightened before my eyes, a helping hand around my waist, and I felt the sunlight upon my shut eyes. A choking sensation, and I convulsed. I am alive…?
My friends were around me; Cyborg and Beast Boy tried to embrace me as Raven fended them off attempting to heal my wounds. It was not until now that I realized how painful they were. "You're lucky Star, so lucky…the both of you...are so fortunate." Even Raven's hands wavered slightly. I was surprised…it was not that bold of a sacrifice, was it?
But the sight of Robin…the image of him at the moment would never fade. He was soaking wet and stood off in the distance. The eyes behind his mask were upon me, and I had never seen him so "out of composure." He was trembling, shaking…
"Star…don't ever, don't ever do that again. I'm not worth it, not worth your life. Please promise me…never do…" Quivering, he subconsciously collapsed to his knees.
It was not until then that I noticed all the bruises upon his body. I approached him, limping, as I placed my hand upon his shoulder, my eyes saddening. "You are damaged as well…"
Damaged as he had been so haplessly torn before by a temporary lapse of sanity…
It was raining, and I felt the coldness of the night. A breeze stirred through the trees, and I drew my arms nearer to my body. I wished to return home to the tower, to wrap a warm wool blanket about my torso, but Robin wished to continue on further and further into the darkening woods. We were in perusal of Slade, who Robin had just commenced in battle with. I wished to voice my concern…perhaps Slade was not within the forest; the numbness that had been inflicted by the cold was embittering, and I opened my mouth to speak when suddenly, he rushed forward in a rage. I believed he caught a glimpse of Slade, plowing forward deeper into the foreboding darkness of the trees.
I wished not go there, and I dallied slightly in my moments as I caught brief glances of his yellow cape falling away into the distance. But if Robin wished to continue on, I would listen and obey his desires. I must not be left behind, and I continued to run nearly blindly through the forest for it is dark and the tree branches came so near so frequently, oftentimes nearly grazing my skin and clothing articles.
"Come on Star! You need to keep up. He's getting away right now!" He was harsher than the usual, patient teacher I had known as he rushed through the woods filled with eternal green trees.
"I apologize Robin." I quickened my pace and decided that flying would perchance result in greater efficiency.
And all of that was perhaps, a half of an hour ago.
He panted rapidly as he continued to run, grasping for each elusive breath ravenously. A tree stood within his path (I nearly crashed into it at the elevated speed we were proceeding in), but without a passing thought, he pranced upon the tree, leaping from branch to branch. Another series of breaths passed across his lips as he continued to rush forward. His body…it certainly could not handle such strenuous activity, in time, he would surely collapse from exhaustion. Concern filling my thoughts, I made a suggestion.
"Robin…perhaps you are in need of a break. I am more than willing to aid you in the endeavor of continuing to pursue Slade. I could, perhaps, fly you with me, if you would wish to-"
Yet he continued, tearing through the trees though I felt that he was a moments away from faltering; I flew lower to the ground and commenced to take him into my arms as continue the inevitable pursuit. A brief touch of my hand upon his shoulder and he was… furious? A glare escaped from his eyes- "Stop. You're wasting time. I hear his footsteps. Come on!"
In silence, I continued to follow. Every moment, he rushed on as if he was merely footsteps away from Slade. It was strange…this situation, though Robin was certain that we were nearing Slade and I did not doubt him, yet I heard nothing…I saw no other figure in the forest.
"I do not doubt you but perhaps with the weather and sky so dark, you have made a misjudgment? Are you certain that you have viewed him?"
"If you don't believe me, leave right now." How cold he was…why was he this way…I should not have expressed doubt upon him yet the situation was so dire and it seemed so illogical, the other titans had discovered nothing and…
"Robin-I believe you." But he did not seem to hear my words. As these thoughts whirled about my mind, I paid little attention to the road ahead and flew straight into a dark branch of the tree, falling to the ground. I was not much damaged though there was a slight soreness upon my arm. Starfire…commence in flight; he requires your assistance.
And suddenly, I heard a loud yell from him. "Slade!" He had finally found him, I must rush to his side, and I flew through the forest- "Robin! Fear not, I am coming!"
The trees were so thickly placed, how was I to find-to my surprise, the forest ended abruptly and spilled into a small, barren field. How cold each drop was as we were finally unshielded by the forest.
He looked anxious in the middle of the field, rushing forward to my direction ("Get him Star! He's right there!"), and I looked about the field confused. I saw no one. I saw no shadows, I heard no footsteps, I saw nothing to be mistaken for the presence of another being… merely the rain.
I had never seen him so furious, so angry as he approached me, the whites of his eye mask bulging widely. "He was right there! Why did you let him go!" Raging, he grasped my arm and began applying to pressure to it until the pain became unbearable, and I felt warm tears trickle upon my face. I was terrified. I saw nothing. Perhaps, he was mistaken, too occupied with his emotions towards Slade for we never truly knew what betook the monster in the end. And perhaps, the former obsession had grown greatly, escalating into a lapse of sanity. The Robin I know of would not yell at me in such a manner, he would not display such raw anger towards me, he would not, he would not…what if he had gone mad…what if he is to remain forever this way…what if…"You…you are hurting me."
He let go, but looked not remorseful. Instead, he continued across the field, staring off into the darkness…looking for a sign. "Robin, I truly did not see Slade. I wished to see him, and I did truthfully try to see Slade, but I could not…" Surprise crossed his face for a moment. "What…he…he was right there!" He wished to end this chase? That would be most wondrous and…but he continued to speak. "If you can't see him, that means that I'm the only one who can. I have to stop him. Get back with the others and report from there." Without waiting for a reply, he rushed forward, away from me and I was left alone, utterly alone…my arm still throbbed from the impact of his touch. I did not understand.
"Please Robin, I wish to come with you." Tears formed within my eyes as I pushed them away quickly and traversed across the forest skies in the direction he proceeded in. I searched around for a spec of yellow or green or red, but I saw nothing. The search was futile, and though I called to him through the communicator, he did not reply. I could not find him…
It was now night, and the terror was all over. We were all safe, and he resided within his room sleeping. His body's convulsions were now smoother, gentler. He was recovering, but he had been so greatly injured. It pained me to view his bruises. I watched him as he slumbered for I, myself, was too exhausted to slumber from the night's events.
Raven, Cyborg, and I had promised each others to keep our discovery that the mask had been triggered a secret…and I thought it a wise decision indeed. We need not reopen such a tumultuous case so soon.
Stirred, I awake again, relieved that it was once again only a nightmare and nothing more. Why did everything seem to be concerning me tonight? I heard the door click open, and lifted my head slightly above the couch, but it was only Raven and Beast Boy. I was rejoiced that they had returned from their festivities and was about to greet them when I observed that they were having one of their "moments." Beast Boy was brimming with joy, while Raven looked positively flushed, and although she attempted to force her usual scowl upon her face, a small smile could not help but to crack through.
"I'd hate to admit this…" Her face looked slightly pained from the revelation that she was about to divulge; a revelation that would overturn some of the dark demeanor she wished to keep. "But I have to say that…that wasn't all that bad. And if you let anyone else know, you're-"
"Dead; yea I know Raven, but come on, say it, you totally owe me for tonight. It wasn't just "not bad," it was great wasn't it! If I hadn't dragged you out, we wouldn't have had all that fun in that eggnog competition or that stank ball competition or that talent show."
Upon the mention of the talent show, Raven appeared to be rather flustered, her voice slightly unsteadied, and I wished to extricate myself from the room or simply stop listening, but there was no stealthy way to escape the room at the present moment. I grew curious…what had commenced during the talent show.
"I…you didn't need to serenade me, of all people. You know that I hate being on stage, and it was bad enough already that I had to attend this social event. And there were several other girls, your adoring fan club, who would have appreciated it far more that I would have."
Yet, Beast Boy did not appear to be daunted by Raven's words, and instead, with a grin upon his face, he continued on, in softer tones and silenced all of Raven's qualms. "But you enjoyed it Raven, didn't you?"
"I…y-you do have, surprisingly, a pretty nice singing voice."
"I wanted to share that with you tonight because I doubt that Robin would ever give in too having a Titans Karaoke night. And I did it because you're my friend Raven, and I wanted it to be…a token of our friendship."
A moment of silence commenced as both wished, yearned that the other would say more to perhaps breach the line of friendship, but neither wished to be the initiator of this step for both had been hurt with love at tender points within their lives and neither wished to, at this moment, breach the sanctuary of friendship. Perhaps another time…
And so Raven initiated their parting as she mumbled a slightly regretful "I have to go. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yea, me too. Tomorrow…" And the word seemed to reverberate within the room as Beast Boy joyously skipped (I listened to the pace of his footsteps) to his room, once he believed he was out of range of Raven's physical's senses, glad that he had managed to please Raven in some manner…and Raven's footsteps appeared more airy, lighter than usual as she proceeded to her room. I would like to imagine that she possessed a small smile in her sleep, a smile that would keep until morning, unfading.
We dined on repast beneath the stars of X'hal that night atop our tower, rejoicing in the other's presence on the anniversary of our courtship and reveling upon cider of the sparkle in wine glasses- a formality that Robin insisted I partake upon.
I was confused as Robin held up his glass and raised it to me. "Can you believe that it's only been five years? I feel as if there hasn't been a time when we weren't together."
"It has indeed been a glorious five years." Slightly embarrassed still by my confusion at yet another strange earthling ritual with the glasses, I had to once again disturb Robin for answers. I paused in my drinking for a moment and commenced. "I must but ask you yea another question." He nodded his head quickly. "Why are you holding the glass up in such a manner?"
"It's a toast Starfire."
"A toast? We do not have any bread with us at the moment; I apologize that I consumed the last bread roll in the last half hour…"
"Oh, not that kind of toast…it's more of a formality. Basically we toast to something or someone that we respect greatly and wish for continued well-being for that thing or that person."
"So it is a ritual with words?"
"Yea, and cups. Here, hold up your glass to mine." I did and he continued. "I propose a toast to a wonderful five years with you. It's been amazing, Star, all of it. May we continue to be blessed by each other."
I felt a warmth rise to my cheeks. Perhaps it was because the cider of the sparkle causes such a reaction to my Tamaranian body or perhaps it was because of the words he uttered. He was so wonderful…I could not even begin to bestow all the blessings I wished to utter to him. I wished to thank him: for the night, for the glorious memories, for his friendship, for everything, yet my tongue failed me at the moment, and I could say nothing more than a flustered "Glorious" and a "I thank you graciously." With a smile upon his face, he understood as he nods and laid his empty glass to the side.
He took my hand into his gloved ones and whispered into my ear. "Aren't the skies such a show tonight?"
"Yes, they are indeed ethereal." I uttered as I looked into the heavens above and leaned nearer against him.
And all these fears I had been cultivating…my fears for his safety, for the rekmas, for the omniscient future within me dissipated as the truth of the matter became lucid. Something in the future could cause us to fall away from each other, or perhaps, we would always be happily joined together. I could not tell; I did not know of the future, but it did not matter. It did not matter because in the present we had possessed such a wondrous relation that must be treasured dearly. I need not fear for the future or for the past, because the present was glorious and that was indeed fulfilling enough for the time being.
A beam of warmth touched my forehead, and I opened my eyes. It was already day, and it was all but a dream. I was surprised to feel the warmth of a hand upon my forehead. He silently removed a lock of hair from my face. It was Robin.
I dared not believe it.
He smiled gently, but the joy upon his face dissipated into concern in an instant when he noticed the tear stains upon my face. Last night I had been a fool-a fool deeply and completely insane in love. The thoughts that haunted my dreams-they were completely illogical; no such possibility of such events transpiring in the future.
Yet, I put my arms quickly around him and embraced him closely. He was surprised, but reassuringly placed his arms around me. I felt the warmth of hot drips of tears fall upon my face again-tears of thankfulness.
He was here.
He was here. Well and undamaged, not some figment-some uncaring emotionless figment, not some shadow of the past.
"Star, what's wrong?" He stroked my back gently as I leaned closer to him.
"There is nothing wrong…everything is simply too perfect." He was confused for a moment, but he did not verbalize these words…and instead, chose to remain in this perfect concord of silence.
And that was the complete truth. He was here…he was here…and everything was perfect…
A.N.: Revised approximately a year later. Sigh it is still far from perfect; there's a lot that I still want to tweak up and fix (especially in the beginning which just feels so lagging pace wise), but of all the fics that I've written, I think that this one has been one of my favorites to write. However, there have been a lot of little details that really irked me about this one shot…the inconsistent tenses, for example, was one of them and also some of the unremarkably bland snippets in between, such as the memory of Robin trying to tell Starfire something important but the two of them being conveniently interrupted by Beast Boy and Raven crashing in through the roof. I also wanted to revise the portrayal of Beast Boy and Raven's relationship throughout this one-shot…in the original, it just seemed far too forced, and so I've toned it down a bit into a friendship with possibilities.
Inspirations: The whole ploy of Starfire waiting for Robin to return home is loosely based on this scene in Charlotte Bronte's wonderful Jane Eyre, in which Jane becomes increasingly nervous and anxious as she waits for Mr. Rochester to return home.