Gandalf Got Run Over by a Balrog

A parody of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"

By: Eleniel

Disclaimer: The original chorus, Gandalf got run over by a balrog…, is not mine. I read it on the Mellon Chronicles yahoo group, but I couldn't find the message and I'm not sure who it belongs to. The credit is theirs, not mine. Also, I don't own Grandma got run over by a reindeer or LOTR. Come on, people; you oughta know that by now.

Gandalf got run over by a balrog

Walking home from Moria one day

You can say there's no such thing as balrogs

But as for me and Frodo, we believe

He'd been smoking too much pipeweed

And ran out on the trail

But he forgot his staff and cloak

And couldn't find his way back out the door

When we found him the next morning

At the scene of the attack

He had claw marks on his forehead

And incriminating burn marks all around

Gandalf got run over by a balrog

Walking home from Moria one day

You can say there's no such thing as balrogs

But as for me and Frodo, we believe

Now we're all so proud of Elrond

He's been taking this so well

See him there reading scrolls

Drinking miruvor and singing loud

It's not the same without Gandalf

All the Elves are dressed in black

And we just can't help but wonder

Should we open up his pack

Or send it back?

Open it!

Gandalf got run over by a balrog

Walking home from Moria one day

You can say there's no such thing as balrogs

But as for me and Frodo, we believe

Now the turkey's on the table

And Gandalf's favorite pig

And the red and silver candles

Would have matched

The jewel on his ring

And his grey hair

Now go warn all your friends and neighbors

They better stay away from balrogs

What rock would give a license

To a beast made out of fire

And dark shadows

Gandalf got run over by a balrog

Walking home from Moria one day

You can say there's no such thing as balrogs

But as for me and Frodo, we believe