I can't believe it's been a year since it happened, Ulrich. The day you died still seems like it was just yesterday. I remember it, Ulrich. I remember my tears. I remember you telling me it would all be okay.
I'm mad, Ulrich. I'm mad that we didn't get to do all of the things you said we would. I know it's not your fault. I know you didn't want what happened to you. But still, I just wish we could have shared our first kiss. I wish you could have held my hand, while we were at the movies together. I wish we could have fallen asleep in each other's arms, just once.
I wish for a lot of things. Am I selfish for wanting you back so badly, Ulrich?
Yesterday the first snowflakes of the year started falling. Jeremie and Aelita and Odd ran outside, catching the small white flecks on their tongues. Oh, did I mention that Jeremie found Aelita's anti-virus? She lives with me now, at my house. We're best friends now, Ulrich. Sometimes we cry together for you.
Odd won first place in an art contest at school. He dedicated his painting of Kiwi to you. Now whenever I see Kiwi I start to choke up. I miss you so much, Ulrich. Why did you have to die? Why did Xana have to kill you?
Aelita and I played soccer in the snow today, in your honor. I suck at soccer, but I played anyway. Did you know that Sissi came and played too? She misses you a lot, Ulrich. Sissi and I are sort of friends now. Since Xana killed you, she's gotten a lot more mature. We talk sometimes, but our conversations are always very short.
I sometimes wake up at night, after having dreams about you, Ulrich. Sometimes I hope that it was all just a nightmare… that you're still in your bed at school. But you never are.
I've been walking to school extra-early lately, just in case you'll be there waiting for me. I know you won't be, but I can't help wishing…
I can't bear not having you anymore, Ulrich. I miss you so much. I will never forget you. No matter what, there will always be fresh flowers on your grave.
These tears are for you.
I love you, Ulrich.