Authors Note: Hey kids! lol. I thought of this when I was working today, somehow it popped into my head, the idea I mean, and it didn't turn out the way I thought it was going to, it turned out better than what I planned I like to think, so totally different from my other stories. I hope you like it, I enjoyed writing it, it was meant to be a little drabble, and it turned out more than that and its soooo not done yet. Anyway. Is anyone interested in being a beta? Email me if you are...its on the profile page.. Let me know... sometimes my grammar isn't that hot and I cant always pick up on it when I triple read my story.... Happy Holidays...
Vamanos. Please review. Tell me whatchuuuu think. :o)
"In short, Sir, THE TABLES ARE now quite TURNED upon me." - Guardian, by Addison.
"While we're being honest?"
"Ugh, there's more?"
-Sandy & Kirsten Cohen.
Jimmy ran a hand over her shoulder blade and down her back as she cried. She made a mistake. "I'm sorry. I should have stopped, I…"
Mistake. Noun.Mis·take. Meaning: An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness. Meaning two: A misconception or misunderstanding.
The very big mistake.
The costly, irreversible mistake.
No words could soothe over something like this.
The stupid, costly, irreversible, huge mistake that could cost her everything, she was so stupid.
'So brainless, mindlessly, carelessly fucking STUPID.'
All she had to do was back away, or say "No." Something, anything. But nooooo, not her. She was tempted with gasoline and a match so she decided to start the fire. Not any fire, a wild fire, a forest fire raging out of total control. Nothing could stop this beast.
Jimmy had called her, stressing over the latest issue and she had come to the rescue yet again. He may as well have said, "Jump."
She would probably have asked, "How high?"
How could she have let this happen? One minute she and Jimmy were fine, they were talking, chatting, she smiled, he grinned, and it was like old times, back when.
Then he leaned in, and kissed her, those old feelings rushed back into her body as her lips met his and suddenly he had hit that spot that could make her shiver and loose control and she fell victim to her those feelings. Those feelings that had only meant lust, and not love.
Maybe it was just the stress, and it was so easy to give in. She had too, she had given in and she hadn't even put up a fight.
Those feelings that she never should have acted upon, feelings she hadn't even thought about in years.
When she closed her eyes she thought he was someone else. It was so familiar and yet so different. Those were Jimmy's exact words, "Mmm so different."
Different. dif·fer·ent Adjective. Unlike in form, quality, amount, or nature; dissimilar. Differing from all others; unusual.
Her curves were sensually different, her body structure, how much she weighed, the softness of her skin, everything was different.
The way she smelled was different, the way she bit her bottom lip was different, and the way her hands ran up in his hair was different. The fact that there was less hair and barely any for her to run her hands through, that was different.
'So different. So very, very different.'
Different had felt shamefully good, she felt risky, it was tempting for some odd reason.
Why not give in to temptation? Her heart had pounded and maybe she returned his kiss too willingly.
The difference as Jimmy's hands slid down her back and over her thighs, where normally someone else's would place one hand in the middle of her back securely, and let her rise to her power. He would never deny her need for power, in fact more than once he had told her with a gentle nuzzle in her neck as she straddled his lap, "I love when you take control."
'Control. I love when you take control.'
Control. Con·trol. Verb. To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct.
Jimmy had taken control, not her. Jimmy's hands roamed her body, never stopped, always curious. Unlike someone else, who's hands knew exactly where to go, where she liked them, where she felt secure and in control.
The way Jimmy's body moved over hers was different; the way he kissed her was different, the way his tongue danced with hers was different. The way he held her body down with his was different, the way that his hand intertwined with hers had been different, his hands were harder, his grip was stronger, not as caring or kind, his hands were more callused than those that she was used to.
Jimmy's hands ran up her ribs, down to her hips, up her flat stomach, over the bare shoulders, tracing her collarbone. They ran up her over her breasts, through the strangles of her blond hair, back down her slender hips, and down to her muscled thighs. That had been different.
She felt out of place, almost ill at ease until he took total control of the awkward situation. Until he moved her body over to the bed and covered it with kisses, until he tossed her blouse into a nearby chair, followed by her pants and everything else that needed to come off.
Those kisses attacked the soft skin below her earlobe, trailing fire down her neck, along her shoulders and arms, tingling, tempting, and begging.
Begging for her to let him continue, to never stop. He got his wish.
Raging kisses down her neck, over her collarbone, down to the soft rise of her breasts, and below them, while following the length of her ribs, his tongue tracing her stomach and feeling her muscles tense beneath it. He glanced at her but his kisses hadn't stop and she didn't refuse him, instead she closed her eyes and thought of someone else.
Her heart was racing and her rational part of her mind was screaming, "What are you doing! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP, STOP NOW."
She shut the door to that part of her conscious and she regretted that she shouldn't have, but it wouldn't shut up.
But it had a good reason not to.
The other irrational one peeked its head out from around the corner, 'Oh, you go girl!' That's the one she shouldn't have listened to. It had yelled advice the whole time.
She should have listened to the rational one and if she had she wouldn't be sitting here, on the bed, embarrassed, mortified, and scared. Maybe her mind was in shock when it was screaming for her to stop. Maybe every single joint, muscle and bone in her body had been in utter shock as to what was happening.
No, petrified was a better word. She wasn't scared she was petrified.
What was he going to do when he found out? 'If, he finds out,' the rational half muttered angrily.
'Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh My God, OHMYGOD!' The irrational, normally, rhyming conscious yelled back. 'Oh my God, you committed fraud!' Mr. Irrational sneered.
'Please shut up. Please.' Mr. Rational begged.
It was like battle of the consciousness in her head.
Suddenly those stupid feelings that she had acted upon weren't there and she only saw Jimmy. She saw the man she had a past with and nothing else.
Once, while painting his apartment he asked her, "You ever think what it would be like...if you and I had ended up --"
And she had replied with a look of the past, "Sometimes." She watched him nod, maybe it was a satisfied nod, and maybe it wasn't. She hadn't been sure.
She now looked at him, and wished that she had simply replied, "No, Never."
She wished she never answered her phone when he had called.
She no longer looked at Jimmy, as Jimmy Cooper innocent ex-boyfriend who kissed her once and told her husband about it.
She looked at Jimmy Cooper as the man she had just cheated on her husband with.
Cheat. Verb. cheat·ed, cheat·ing, cheats. See also intransitive: To act dishonestly; practice fraud. To violate rules deliberately, as in a game. Informal. To be sexually unfaithful.
She smirked through her tears, 'God, I'm a hypocrite. I made such a big deal out of nothing with him, and I pull the exact thing that I was so scared of him doing to me.'
Hypocrite. Noun. : A person who professes beliefs and opinions that he/she does not hold.
That described her. 'B-I-G hypocrite. HUGE, mammoth, titanic, gigantic.' Her conscious was doing the rhyme thing again.
Would he even bother to hear her out? Probably not, and why should he? He did nothing but bend over backwards and she treated him like crap. Time and time again.
Maybe she wouldn't tell him.
That might work, but her own thoughts and guilt would eat her alive. 'They should,' her conscious chimed in. 'If I could I would, oh I would I would. If I could...I would tell him in bed, I would tell him with Ted, I would tell him while wearing red…'
'SHUT UP Dr. Seuss. I need to think.' The other rational half yelled.
Maybe she should make up a story and say Jimmy drugged her.
'How old are you, twelve?' her conscious asked angrily. 'Time to face the music kid, time to fess up to what you did, time to place a bid and tell him what you did,' Her conscious rhymed in its singsong 'I told you so,' voice. She hated when it started rhyming it seemed to have a mind of its own now.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Shit. Verb. To tease or try to deceive. Something considered disgusting, of poor quality, foolish, or otherwise totally unacceptable. Foolish, deceitful, or boastful language. Insolent talk or behavior. Trouble or difficulty. See also interjection: Used to express surprise, anger, or extreme displeasure.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, as she realized to the exact extreme as to what she had done.
Seventeen years in a loving marriage and she had committed adultery. She had blown away seventeen years of her marriage for a few hours of fun. Not even fun. More like a romp. No, that sounded too promiscuous even, as if she wanted this to happen. She didn't want this, but than again, she could have said, "No."
All she had to do was refuse him, deny him, and give him a negative response. And she didn't do it.
Suddenly at that exact moment in time her cell phone rang. When she reached for her purse she looked at the caller ID.
Her heart skipped two beats, and there was a huge lump in her throat. She couldn't breath right.
Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy.
'You just cheated on Sandy.'
Her heart was pounding.
'You just cheated on the love of your life.'
A tear fell to the floor.
'You just cheated on the best thing that ever happened to you.'
'You did it on a chair, you did it over there, while he ran his hands through your hair.'
The phone stopped ringing, it kicked into voicemail.
One missed call, Sandy.
'You just cheated on Sandy.'
"That was him, wasn't it?" Jimmy's voice was blank.
'Congratulations, Captain Obvious.'
She nodded miserably.
Her breathtakingly, faithful, loving, husband, Sandy.
One new message flashed upon the screen with a little envelope.
She couldn't resist as her hands shook terrified. She pressed 1 to listen to her voicemail.
"Hey honey, it's me. Um, I was just calling to see where you're at; you've been gone for a while. Seth, wait a minute. Seth wants to know what kind of takeout you want. Anyway, call us back. I love you." She smiled tearfully at her husbands retort to Seth. She smiled at the way his voice said, "I love you." It was deep and tender, and roguish. Not to mention incredibly sexy. She could tell he was smiling when he said it. "I love you."
'Where am I at Sandy? I just fucked your worst fear. That jealous fear you had of Jimmy? Remember? I doubt you've forgotten but you really have good reason to hate him now. Us. Now. To hate us. And I don't deserve you,' Mr. Rational proceeded to enlighten her.
She frowned and looked at Jimmy frustrated.
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.
She was fucked; there was no other way around it. Totally, completely FUCKED.
Fuck. Fucked, fuck·ing, fucks. Verb. To have sexual intercourse with. To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize. Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
She was fucked. Literally.
'Yeah literally, and I do mean, literally, like all three of thee above. Down to a tee. Couldn't have done better if you had hit a tree,' It snickered in her head.
She put the cell phone in her purse and gathered up her keys, wiping away her tears and trying to gather her composure, making a decision.
"This never happened Jimmy."
He ran a hand through his short hair, "Okay. Can you live with that?"
She looked at him. "Can you?"
He just looked at her blankly as she turned on her heel and walked out the door.
"I have to." She said coldly.
He nodded and gave her a slightly confused look. 'Is this all my fault?'
"Sure. I can."
"Good." Her eyes were turning icy.
'Hmm holy awkward, huh mother?' "Shut up," One of them yelled to Seth's irrational voice as it ransacked her brain.
"I'll call you. Do not call me."
He nodded again. Understood.
Satisfied she walked out to the Range Rover and put the keys in the ignition.
She took a shaky breath.
'Yeah. Holy awkward, Seth.' Mr. Rational replied softly.