..:: An Epilogue AND A Prologue ::..
Wow! I got 8 reviews!! Thank you to Chica De Los Ojos Cafe, Readerrr Grrrl, heartsyhawk, todd fan, Sangofanatic, psychobunny410, EE's Skysong, and Thorn for reviewing!
I'm SO sorry it took forever to update! But Winter Break is over (sob), and I'm back in school, so updates will come slower. Especially this month, since the Dance teacher is throwing us rehearsals left and right (the last two weeks of January we're performing for the school). But in February, things SHOULD lighten up.
I'm sorry to say that Mulan is done. But here's a nice little random Epilogue to Mulan and Prologue to PotC! Or should I say, Mutants of the Caribbean!
Okay, okay, okay, the title sucks. Help me and send in a better one!
"So," Pietro said. "Is-Lance-really-dead?"
"YES!" Scott said, punching the air.
But I will now use my Divine Intervention powers to bring him back to life.
And wouldn't you know, Lance popped up out of nowhere.
"Damn!" Scott said.
Lance then caused a rift to open up in the studio, and Scott fell in, screaming the whole time…
Aw, crap, that was just a daydream?
So then Pryo was re-grown to his usual height, and he got to keep the lighter as a gift.
"BAD IDEA!" Remy and Piotr yelled.
Don't worry, it's a magic lighter. Things can catch fire, but they won't actually burn.
"…Really?" Pyro said.
Pyro then freaked Jean out by setting her hair and eyebrows on fire, even though it didn't really burn.
"Too bad," Rogue added.
I agree. Well, everyone's back, alive and well, and Mulan is officially finished.
"Well, Ah'm glad that's over," Rogue said, and they all started walking out.
Where do you think you're going?
"Home," Wanda said, as if stating the obvious…which she was.
I don't think so.
Well, I promised my reviewers a PotC parody.
"Not-our-problem," Pietro said.
Oh, I think it is. You see, they are VERY powerful fanficcie writers. You wouldn't want to anger them.
"Why?" Lance asked.
Well, they have the power to write any type of fanfiction.
"Any type?" Kurt said.
Oh, yes. They could torture you all beyond insanity if they wanted. Or they could write…
"Like, what?" Kitty asked.
AROTT ficcie. Or SCOGUE. Whatever you call it. Either way, they can.
Rogue and Scott looked visibly shaken.
Or a JEMY ficcie.
Jean shrieked and fainted, and Remy looked ready to kill.
"What?" Evan gulped.
Slash beyond imagination.
"Vhat?" Kurt said, just as Jean regained consciousness.
An all-out KODD, EVIETRO, SCANCE, REMIOTR, ROBERTAY, JOHBBY, JOGUE, LOGERTOOTH, CHARLETO, TABILEE, RAHMARA, WANDITTY, ORORIQUE, BEASON, FRAM, JAMIE shipfest!!! (1)
The Authoress was then nearly deafened by the screams that erupted. Guess whose scream broke the window. Yup. You got it. Maybe having a pole way up one's ass gives one a nice soprano shriek.
So we are all going to work together, yes?
"Yes," they all mumbled, glancing at their significant slash-fest others with complete horror and disgust. Well, except for Jamie, who was just very careful not to bump into anything.
Good. Now, as we all know, the next parody will be PotC. So, by popular demand, Captain Jack Sparrow will be played by Remy LeBeau. Since this is a KURTTY fic, Will Turner will be played by, of course, Kurt Wagner, and Elizabeth Swann will be played by Kitty Pryde. Oh, and Lance and Piotr and not going to be in this ficcie at all.
"Why?" Lance said.
Well, I thought you'd you'd appreciate the break, since I killed you off in this one. And Piotr will be starring in the next parody after this one. Maybe. Depending on when this ficcie finishes. (Mulan 2 comes out in February, and I cannot wait to do a parody on that. ROMY forever!) Okay, so Barbossa will be played by Magneto, cuz he's an old dude, and I either didn't want to kill any possible candidates off, or I deemed them uncool enough to be Barbossa. I'm not saying Magneto's cool, he's just got the whole evil vibe, you know? So then Commodore Norrington will be played Pietro-
Well, you've already got the white hair for it. Plus, if I remember correctly, you and Magneto will never be in the same scene together, so it all works out. Anywayz, so then Governor Swann will be played by Beast, Ragetti will be played by Scott because he only has one eye-
"I have two eyes!"
Well, you should have thought of that before you named yourself Cyclops! So Pintell will be Evan, because I don't want to put anyone else with Scott (actually, no one deserves to be his ishbuddy, but SOMEONE has to go with him, and most people dislike Evan, to put it lightly), The Skinny Idiotic Soldier Dude (whose name I am too lazy to look up right now) will be played by Bobby, The Not-So-Skinny Idiotic Soldier Dude (aKa The Soldier Dude Who Gets Pooped On By Cotton's Parrot) will be played by Sam – don't worry, I WILL look these names up eventually, I'm just too lazy to right now – Mr. Gibbs will be played by Logan, Cotton will be played by Sabertooth, The Pirate Lady (see explanation for Sam and Bobby) will be played by Rogue, and I think that's all the important people.
Oh wait, Scarlett and Giselle will be played by Jean and Tabitha, Jean only because it's like a ten second role, plus I don't think anyone would appreciate me casting Rogue as a Tortugian whore. I have no clue if that's how you spell someone from Tortuga.
Oh, and Cotton's Parrot will be played by Polly the Parrot, who is actually male. Don't ask. And for future info, I always have animal OCs.
And more mutants will probably be given walk-on roles (whatever that means) as I realize that more need to be cast. You know, random extras I can reuse. The Soldiers and The Cursed Pirates and The Pirates From Tortuga will probably be played by Jamie's many multiples, only with different costumes and makeup. The real Jamie will be The Midget Pirate, cuz...yeah. Oh, and Toad Lieutenant Gillette, the only other soldier with a mentioned name,because (1) he lives through the whole movie, and (2) the name is not only mentioned, but also hilarious! Gillette…yes, I know, I'm immature. So sue me.
Oh yeah, and Forge will be The Director.
Yep, very short chappie. I know. But this is just an incredibly random prologue/epilogue thingie introducing the cast of PotC. A more organized list of the cast (which will be included in the first chappie of PotC) is this:
Director – Forge
Captain Jack Sparrow – Remy LeBeau / Gambit
Will Turner – Kurt Wagner / Nightcrawler
Elizabeth Swann – Kitty Pryde / Shadowcat
Barbossa – Eric Magnus Lensherr / Magneto
Commodore Norrington – Pietro Maximoff / Quicksilver
Governor Swann – Hank McCoy / Beast
Pintell – Evan Daniels / Spyke
Ragetti – Scott Summers / Cyclops
Skinny Idiotic Soldier Dude – Bobby Drake / Iceman
Not-So-Skinny Idiotic Soldier Dude – Sam Guthrie / Cannonball
Mr. Gibbs – Logan Howlett / Wolveriine
Pirate Lady – Rogue
Cotton – Sabertooth
Scarlett – Jean Grey
Giselle – Tabitha Smith / Boom Boom
Lieutenant Gilette – Todd Tolanski / Toad
The Midget – Jamie Madrox / Multiple
The Soldiers – Multiples of Mr. Madrox
The Cursed Pirates – Multiples of Mr. Madrox
The Pirates From Tortuga – Multiples of Mr. Madrox
"Cool, I'm Mr. Madrox!" Jamie said.
Yeah, I think it sounds cool that way. Either that, or really dorky. I dunno, it all depends on the way you look at it.
The names in bold will be replaced by actual names once I look them up (yes, I am incredibly lazy like that). Wait, I just ran a quick search for a PotC script, and if I'm correct, then Murtogg will be played by Bobby, and Mullroy will be played by Sam. And Anamaria is the name of the Pirate Lady. Hehe, what a coincidence. So there you go. I'm just too lazy to go change it right now.
The names (well, groups, actually) in italics will typically be played by Multiples of Mr. Madrox unless an important one with a name pops up (which many most likely will). I will then fill in with the BoM (save Lance, to prevent any Kitty/? Conflict), some of the Acolytes (save Piotr, for the same reason as Lance), the New Recruits, etc, etc, etc.
(1) Yeah, that's all slash, and a complete joke that I made up one evening while I was waiting for the bus. If you can't understand any of the pairings, and actually care what they were, let me know.
Oh yeah! I believe someone asked me for the translations for the French swears I typed up in the other chappie. Here they are: zut – rats/damn; zut alors – shit/crap; merde – shit; je ne veut pas – I don't want to, but if you yell it it's hell no; va t'en merde – go shit on yourself, chauffeuse – whore, chienne – bitch, salope – bastard, casse-pieds – literally, a foot-breaker, a pain in the ass, ta mere – your mom, enfer – hell, baiseur – f#!$er, baiseur de mere – mother f#!$er.
So, whaddya think? If you don't like the casting for someone, or I've overlooked a character (as I said before, any Soldiers, Cursed Pirates, or Pirates From Tortuga will be played by multiples of Mr. Madrox, unless an important one pops up), let me know! So I can fix it before I start PotC!
Oh yeah, and I have no clue when PotC will be put up. It could be anywhere from within a week to…within a month. This month is murder-suicide month for me. I have rehearsals every day after school all week (till 9 on Friday), plus 6 hour rehearsals next Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (which I have off cuz it's Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday, but we still have rehearsals that day anyway), rehearsal till 9 next Tuesday, rehearsal till 6 next Wednesday, and then the performances begin next Thursday. I might be able to get a chappie up next Monday, or next next Monday, cuz I have school off those days, but I can't be positive. I'll probably end up doing Mulan 2 after PotC.
Now that I have successfully bored/confused you with my upcoming murder/suicide schedule, I will end with the typical plea: PLEASE REVIEW!