AN: omgoshes u r so mean!11! this is my fic and i can do what i want!

Which sadly means that I'm willingly subjecting myself to brain damage. Ah, well. Had to happen sometime.

To a few reviewers:

nscangal: yes, Desperate Situation must be capitalized.

Gravity's Addicted: You read a fic with Auron and Shino in it? Oh, my God. They do exist! (faints)

Darksbane: OMG I've not heard from you in forever. When I got your review I was like "Whoa! Wrong section!" But serious, I don't even both going to the J&D section anymore. I thought about updating one of my fics by redoing it but I don't need people accusing me of my character being a MS. I'll stay far, far away!

And the rest of you: Thanks so much for your comments! I'm so glad you enjoyed. :)

This chapter is going to be in Sasuke's POV. Just for added fun.

A Mary-Sue Just for You... don't you feel speshul?

Chapter 3...or maybe it's 2.4 ...Hmm...

Oh, wait I forgot the disclaimer didn't I? I like, so own, like whatever...

I have never, in my 12 years of existence (Or is it 15? When the hell is this fic set in the timeline anyway?), been interested in girls. I'm not saying I'm gay, no, because I'm not interested in guys, either. I'm not asexual in the sense that I'm lacking the goods because, let me tell you, I'm blessed for a pre-teen if I must say so myself.

I know eventually I'll have to repopulate the clan which requires getting knocked up but I have a few years to wait. But then... I met her.

Or rather, I saved her from impending doom involving a giant thingymabob and found myself smitten. Hell, I didn't even know that 'smitten' was in my vocabulary. I even keep getting told that my bloodline limit is not the sharingan but rather is, in a dubbed voice, the "Eye of DOOM." Yes, with capital letters. Somehow, I think they're out to get me. (1)

But, back to the subject at hand. She was... beautiful. Her legs were long, like a giraffe's (Do we have giraffes around here? I think they're in the Grass country...) but they were soft and smooth, like... I dunno, I suck at analogies for Pete's sake. She had a chest that could suffocate a man and her hair kept changing colors. I liked that. That was kinda cool.

I asked her her name. At first I thought she said Fred. But then, I found out her name was really "Jezabelle Merida Fredrico Von Paxil." I had trouble pronouncing the L's.

When I asked her where she was from, she gave me this dramatic story that somehow ended up completely opposite of what she started with. I think the jist of it was "I'm stuck here, there are sexy adolescent men all around, and I will secretly end up being stronger than you and bed you when you're vulnerable and not looking."

Or maybe I was just hearing things. Being mentally unstable does that to a person. She gave me this sweet smile that could give cavities which reminded me again why I hated sweets. Flipping her neon green hair with orange highlights over her shoulder she took my arm and smiled prettily up at me. "Why, Sasuke-kun, you saved me! How can I ever repay you?"

Now normally, I hate it when girls cling to me. I mean, really, people, do I look like a damn window for cling-ons? But with ...this girl whose name was giving me a headache, I didn't seem to mind. In fact... I smiled.

Which was so totally not my fault, by the way. She probably hit a nerve or something.

By then, I realized there was an unconscious Hyuuga at my feet. I gave him a nudge with my foot. "Hey. Get up."

He gave me the finger.

Prick.

I shrugged and tugged what's-her-name along and it wasn't 2.526 seconds later I was thrown against the wall and my spot was occupied by Neji. The bastard had the gall to look bashful! He even SHUFFLED his FEET! And the words out of his mouth, Oh, my God there was going to be a cat fight.

"Here, I got this for you; will you go on a date with me?"

I don't know where the hell he got it, since he was just unconscious on the ground a moment ago but he produced a teddy bear with a heart in its paws and handed it to her. It even had one of those cute little messages on the heart! I made a face as I read the mushy little line.

"Shit bitch, you is fine."

Suck-up.

I stood up, dusted myself off, pulled out a mirror to make sure my hair was still pretty and then walked up to Neji and pushed him. "You did NOT just try to take my girl away from me."

"I don't see your name on her anywhere! And I asked her out first!"

"Oh you did NOT just go there!" I shouted, snapping my fingers in a "Z" formation.

"So what if I did?" Neji retorted, putting his hands on his hips.

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way..."

"...Ten paces, turn and shoot?"

"Um, no, we're going to beat the shit out of each other."

"That works, too."

We stared each other down and then activated our bloodlines.

"Byakugan!"

"Sharingan!"

"Prettigan!"

What. The. Fuck.

I looked over and there she is with pink eyes that have a star shaped pattern around the pupil. Eyeliner included.

She's still not prettier than me, though.

I'm the prettiest.

"No, I am, bitch!"

"Shut up, Hyuuga."

End of teh Chaptuuurrr.

(1) - A friend of mine and I were talking about the potential horrors of the dubbed Naruto anime and he stated that Kakashi would be Professor Karate and the sharingan would be the Eye of DOOM. I laughed so hard I cried.

Hope you all, like, enjoyed.

The "shit-bitch" bear actually exists, too, btw.

Phoe-chan