Disclaimer: Characters are sadly not mine.
Author's Note: Comic interlude, yes? At long last...
Chapter XXI: It's a JOURNAL!
My name is Ronald Weasley and you're my new friend. Hermione says that maybe if I try writing my thoughts and feelings down, I won't be so obnoxious. I don't see where she gets that idea from; I think she likes getting on my nerves. The reason we've had another fight is because I went off on Malfoy…again. BLOODY MALFOY! That ferret needs to keep away from my sister and damn school unification if it means that slimy bugger touching Ginny! I don't care what Hermione says…her and her crazy plans to stop You-Know-Who. I've written a poem about it.
Please understand, dear Hermione:
I can't stand nasty Malfoy with Ginny!
She's my sister, blimey!
And she can't hang around with that ninny!
I'm no poet; so what? The point is I feel like I want to rip someone's head off right now…how's that for feelings? People are giving me weird looks because it looks like I'm writing in a diary, doesn't it!? Harry is laughing at me, that prat. SHOVE OFF HARRY!!! See, I've drawn a picture of him in the corner…with the huge scar and crossed eyes kissing Moaning Myrtle. Aww, now isn't that the cutest thing.
Harry: Who's that, Ron?
Me: Who does it look like?
Harry: HEY! Is that a scar I see??
Me: So what if it is?
Harry: Even Hedwig can draw better than that, mate.
Me: I doubt it.
Harry: Is that a diary you're writing in?
Me: No it's a journal!
Harry: Oh, I didn't know you write in diaries; at least now I know what to get you for your birthday.
Me: This isn't a bloody diary!!
Is it?!? Hermione is wrong as usual. Writing in this piece of trash has only made me angrier. I bet she's having a real laugh right now. "Ronniekins is writing in a diary just like I do. Tee hee hee hee!" And I bet Ginny is with her laughing at me too. All I wanted to do is protect her from that Slytherin scum, and look at the way she treats me! Okay, so I don't really know for sure if she's off having a good old laugh with Hermione, or even if they're having a laugh at all. But that is not really the point here. The point is, I'm trying to protect my sister like the good hearted, older, noble, devilishly handsome brother I am, but then Hermione has to act like Miss Heroine who saves the day with her "school unification ideas" and "let her do what she wants, Ron" and "Ginny has her own mind" ARGH. If I have to endure one more DA meeting watching Ginny and Malfoy laughing at some shared secret, I swear, I'm going to vomit!
Harry: Why are you still writing in that diary like a girl?
Me: JOURNAL! And I'll do whatever the bloody hell I want!
Harry: I swear I'm going to chuck that thing up the girls' dormitory where it belongs. I don't know what's gotten into your head, Ron, but I'm going to make sure your manliness is kept in order.
Bloody Harry coming over here like he's all big and bad. Look, I don't care HOW many times you've escaped You-Know-Who, mate. He's not man enough to take this away from me. That's right. This journal is NOT a diary, but contrarily, a mark of manliness! Take THAT, Harry!
Dean: Hey Harry, Ron, what are you two up to?
Harry: Nothing for me.
Dean: What's that Ron has there?
Harry: Oh, that would be his new diary.
Me: IT'S A JOURNAL, FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!
I wish Harry would stop grinning at me like that. He looks like a right crazed loony. Maybe he's just jealous of my journal. Maybe he thinks I'm writing about him and wants to see what I've written. Maybe he wishes he had one and is sore he hadn't thought of writing in a journal himself! Okay… maybe that is a bit of a stretch. But still, can't I get a little respect around here?!! Argh… this is definitely NOT helping my anger. If anything, it's made it worse! Now to add on to the fact that Ginny is hanging around slimy Malfoy, Harry is making fun of my journal! I've come up with a touch of poetry for Harry as well…
It's a journal, not a diary!
So you better stop making fun of me!
If you don't, I'll be forced
To tell the entire Gryffindor House about that time I caught you singing a love ballad to yourself in the hallway because you thought you were alone!!
So HA! Who's manly now? Yeah, it doesn't rhyme…but the best poems never rhyme. Argh, argh, argh. The worst bit is that I'm pretty sure we have a Charms paper due in fifteen minutes and Hermione won't help a friend out and let me see hers, GO FIGURE. And Mr. Man is too busy making fun of me to help out the cause…GREAT.
Harry: What could you possibly still be writing about?? All your juicy secrets and deepest confessions?
THAT'S IT!!! I SWEAR I'M GOING OVER THERE AND MR. MAN'S GONNA GET IT!!