I'm Getting Nothin for Christmas

By Lady Lestrange

Disclaimer: OK the song doesn't belong to me and neither do any of the references to JK's characters and events. Thanks for letting us play in your world, JK.

This is a Random Death Eater's version:

Probably sung by Ethan and Edward Lestrange. If you don't know who they are, you need to read, THE SEERS' TRUTH: THE BROKEN BEGINNING AND

THE SEERS' TRUTH: BEYOND THE DARKNESS.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

That Sorting Hat and stool I took.

A Gryfindor snitched on me

In the girls' bath took a look

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Set fire to the shrieking shack

Tied Hagrid to a dragon's back

Turned Filch into a kitty snack

A Gryffindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

Turned Lupin's potion into soup

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Put Vector in an endless loop

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Tied some knots in the giant squid

Tortured someone's little kid

Poked holes in all the caldron lids

A Gryfindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

I stole Auror Moody's eye

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Told Voldie that Snape was a spy

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Shaved the whiskers from Albus' face

Put Flitwick in the Quaffle case

Filled the potions' shower with mace

A Gryffindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

Sinistra got a mem'ry charm

A Gryfindor snitched on me

St. Mungos keeps her out of harm.

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Painted Harry's special map.

Told Binns that he should take a nap

Put a dog on McGonagall's lap

A Gryfindor snitched on me.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

I traded wands with Dumbledore

A Gryfindor snitched on me.

Told Peeves to give the first year tour

A Gryfindor snitched on me

I told Binns that he had died

And Dumbledore his phoenix fried.

Trelawney in the Prophecy lied

A Gryfindor snitched on me.

I'm getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

I'm getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

I scourgified the Baron's robe

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Turned Ron's rat into a toad

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Killed a bunch of muggles dead

Put some fleas in McGonagall's bed

Shaved Draco Malfoy's pointed head

A Gryfindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

Dragged the merfolk out on land

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Put termites in the Quiddich stands

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Turned Hooche's broom into a flare

Broke Erised's mirror on a dare

Set fire to Snape's underwear

A Gryfindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

Charmed mistletoe to follow Snape

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Wrapped Harry's scar in spell-o-tape

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Painted white masks red and gold

Told the house elves they were sold

Filled the kitchen plates with mold

A Gryfindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

Turned Sprouts' little seedlings brown

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Chopped the whomping willow down

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Put Flitwick's stool just out of reach

Gave Snape a portkey to the beach

Doused the Death Eaters robes with bleach

A Gryfindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

Infected Poppy with the flu

A Gryfindor snitched on me

I buried her in greenhouse 2.

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Gave Sprout a witch-eating flower

Should have seen her cry and cower.

She jumped off the Astronomy Tower

A Gryfindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

Put switching charms on the Requirement Room

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Now in there you'll meet your doom

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Nick should know Sinistra's dead

I nearly severed her screaming head

Now I wonder what she said,

A Gryfindor snitched on me.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

Gave that Snake a glamour charm

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Pulled the Gringott's fire alarm

A Gryfindor snitched on me

I Predicted Trelawney's doom

Burnt up Harry's Quiddich broom

Locked Draco in that Muggle room

A Gryfindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

Told Albus I would make repairs

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Instead nailed down the moving stairs

A Gryfindor snitched on me

Roasted Hedgewig like a goose

Turned all Minerva's hedgehogs loose.

Told Harry, Voldie wants a truce

A Gryfindor snitched on me

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.

We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.

(You have to read "My name is Severus" by Silverfox to get this joke. Of course, you should do that AFTER YOU HAVE READ ALL OF MY STUFF.--Lady Lestrange)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!