"Gourry At The Bat"
by Tevildo (tevtext@yahoo.co.uk)
with apologies to Ernest Thayer and Hajime Kanzaka

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Seyruun team that day;
The score stood four to two with but one inning more to play.
And then when Lina died at first, and Amelia did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, 'If only Gourry could but get a whack at that--
We'd put up even money now with Gourry at the bat.'

But Zelgadis was before him, as was Naga the White Snake,
And the former was a chimera and the latter was a flake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Gourry's getting to the bat.

But Zel let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Naga, much derided, laughed the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Naga safe at second and Zel a-hugging third.

Then from five thousand throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For the mighty Gourry Gabriev was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Gourry's manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Gourry's bearing and a smile on Gourry's face.
And then when, blushing at the cheers, he idly scratched his crotch,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt he was the man to watch.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he strapped his armour tight;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he grabbed his Sword of Light.
Then while the pitcher Zangulus ground the ball into his glove,
'Go get 'em, big guy!' Rowdy yelled with patriarchal love.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
'Howling Ball!' cried Zangulus, wind whipping through his hair.
Close by the puzzled swordsman the ball unheeded sped--
'Huh?' said Gourry. 'What's going on?' 'Strike one,' the Red Priest said.

From the benches black with people there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
'Kill Rezo! Kill the umpire!' shouted Xelloss, mischief-apt,
And they'd likely have killed Rezo had he not been handicapped.

With a smile of feeble-mindedness great Gourry's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He blinked dully at the pitcher, who screamed 'Howling Ball Part Two!'
Rezo called another strike, as unimpeded the ball flew.

'Fraud!' cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
But as Lina bashed in Gourry's head the audience was awed.
They watched his face illuminate as understanding came,
And they knew that Gourry finally saw how to play the game.

Now, blank stare gone from Gourry's eye, he grips the dormant hilt;
The look upon his face enough to make Mazoku wilt.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the sword ignites as Gourry shouts, 'HIKARI O!'

Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sky is bright and clear;
The gods are generous somewhere, and men live without fear,
And somewhere people revel, for their kings are not corrupt;
But there is no joy in Seyruun--mighty Gourry has screwed up.