Author's note: Written for Clez for Christmas, who requested Michael/Selene. She gave me title and line of dialogue, and this is what came out. Been a long time since I wrote Michael/Selene, and I was worried, but she enjoyed it, and that's what matters. Hope everyone else that reads it enjoys it as well, and please review.
Disclaimer: I don't own, please don't sue. Savvy?
ALONE NO MORE
Selene laid in bed, thoroughly awake. She wasn't used to sleeping at night. But sometimes, Michael just wanted to sleep at night like most humans. She knew it was his way of clinging to his humanity. She knew he needed it.
That was why she stayed.
He was the hybrid - savior to the lycans, abomination to the vampires. He was two monsters in one body, and more often than not, his humanity won out and was dominant. He was afraid of what he was inside, of what he could become. He didn't want to be in this war, he didn't want to be the hybrid, he didn't want this responsibility or this burden.
Selene couldn't understand it, herself. She couldn't comprehend wanting to be human and helpless in his sorrows. She was a warrior, her humanity given away freely so she could avenge her family and not fade away in time while those who took from her lived in forever. But now that had been turned on its head, and she fought for new reasons.
While she told herself she did not care for Michael and she did not feel remorse for those lycans she had killed and tortured because of lies, she knew it wasn't true. She was alone now, unless she stayed with Michael and the lycans. And unless they stayed with the lycans, they were alone and vulnerable.
A warm body moved closer to hers, a strong, firm around slipping around her as she lie on her side, staring at the wall. She could feel warm breath hitting the back of her neck, making her hair tickle her skin.
"You haven't slept at all, have you?" he asked softly, but he already knew the answer. The tone of his voice told her that.
"I don't sleep at night," she stated plainly.
Silence returned then, the only sounds in the room that of their breathing and his blood pumping. He still had blood pumping, still had warmth, and it burned her as they laid there.
"Why do you want me to stay?" she asked, her detached voice softer suddenly, for a reason she could no longer comprehend.
Michael didn't answer for several minutes. He just laid there, behind her, holding her. He was warm and firm and living somehow, more human than anything else still. Always so human, a frail being that she had once been and never wanted to be again.
"Because I can't do this on my own," he finally replied. "Because the only drives I have are someone else's memories and the desire to keep you safe. I understand why Lucian did what he did - more than just because I have part of him in here," he slowly began to explained.
Selene knew instantly what he meant - it was something she insisted didn't bother her. It was his past, a past with someone else, someone he loved, someone he met when he was happy, who he could have been happy with. Selene offered war and bloodshed, and the inevitable time when Michael would have to accept what he was.
"When I lost her, I thought it was all over," he whispered, and Selene tried to block out the emotion she knew was in his eyes. "I understand now how wrong I was."
Those words hit Selene with more force than any blow she had received from any lycan or even from Viktor that night when everything changed. She didn't know how to react. Inside she was at war with herself, if she wanted to be important to him or if she wanted to be able to leave without the guilt of breaking his heart.
"I will never be the same kind of happy that I was with her," Michael admitted. "I'll never be able to go back to that. But with you, I can be content with this. Without you, I'm alone, I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I'm empty."
"I'm a replacement," Selene stated, this time her voice hurt. She didn't like the sound of it. She sounded vulnerable.
Michael shook his head, and she could feel the motion. "No. I wouldn't be content if you were nothing but a replacement. You wouldn't mean as much to me, if anything. Replacements can easily be replaced as well, and they never hold any meaning. You do," Michael told her. "On nights like these, when I just want to act like things are normal, I don't picture her there beside me. I see you, and that's what I want now."
"I don't know how to be anything more than a replacement."
At first Selene didn't realize she had spoken out loud. She didn't understand why Michael let go of her and turn her onto her back as he propped himself up. She hadn't meant to say it. She wasn't one who said her feelings. She rarely even allowed herself to think them.
"You stay here of your own free will. Why?" he asked softly.
"Because you need me."
She could see in his eyes that he knew what she meant when she said that. Because she needed him. Because she was just as alone as he was, and she had been for over a hundred years. She just wasn't able to say it.
"That's why I want you to stay, and that's why you stay," Michael said, for once being the one who explains things, makes them clear. For once taking the lead as she found this was one area she couldn't, because she didn't know what to do. "We're not alone anymore, Selene."
She nodded. She didn't smile, she didn't lift up a hand and touch his face. She just laid there, closing her eyes as he lowered and parting her lips so he could easily claim them. She wasn't alone, and she had time to break the habits of living as though she still was.