Karma

To Sunshine10 (R&BB Secret Santa Project)

It all began with a small slip of white paper. A sort of wrinkled sort of white paper. No, it wasn't a magical fortune from a fortune cookie that miraculously changed my life. (I don't trust fortunes anyhow…except the ones that say something to the extent of "you will die sooner or later.") Nor was it the winning lottery ticket for this week's large jackpot (Do you think I'd still be working laboriously as a teenage superhero if that happened?). But it nonetheless impacted me…dare I use such a strong adverb…drastically…because I found myself searching for a present for him in a rowdy, hyper, teen energy infused mall.

Amidst the chatter of the country club kids ("Why ol' sport, I dare say, that is an excellent compilation of Beethoven's greatest works." "You think the chaps at mum's golf course will enjoy it?"), the preps ("So like oh my God, is that like that like totally like awesome, new tank top?" "Oh yea, girl friend! It like totally rocks!"), the punk rockers ("Rebels for life, man! Let's rebel against the system by knocking those CDs off the wall!" "No! Dude, we'll get kicked out like last time." "Fine, let's rebel by only buying those CDs that are discounted."), and the various other cliques hanging about the stores, I am having trouble finding a suitable gift for him. Strangely, it makes me ashamed to be in the same species as such people,

Usually, he would be the easiest one to find a gift for (minus Star who was happy with any gift that she has received; "Oh Raven! Glorious! I have always wanted an earthen piece of cloth that has been discarded!"), because it's videogames, videogames, videogames, Keira Knightley posters (I'm jealous…wait where did that come from), and you've guessed it…more videogames for Beast Boy.

However, this year is vastly different. Of all the times Control Freak could reemerge and decide to try to get back at us by sending a rampaging virus through his computer, he just had to choose December. As a "reward" for our excellent work for our capture, the very kind Jump City allowed us to have access to Control Freak's vast library of videogames. So Christmas came early for the guys with their unlimited access to all the rare videogames that true only true videogame gurus like Control Freak possessed. And so I was rather miffed when the slip of paper came onto my hand with his name written on it.

Your secret Santa assignment is Beast Boy.

This year, it had been Cyborg's turn to distribute the Secret Santa assignments. But before he could describe how shrewdly he had ensured a completely fair and random method of secret Santa assignments through the use of some tricky computer coding, he began a slight warning tirade. "Ok y'all, this year since I am in charge of the Secret Santas, there will be no fooling around. I don't know how you guys do it, but no one, under my 24 hour a day (except for recharging breaks) Cy -Pre-Christmas-Surveillance-System-To-Prevent-Any-of-you-from-Finding-Out-your-Christmas-Gifts-Beforehand-Again, will be opening their presents early. I'll know if any of y'all are peeping at the gifts."

And being one of the more trustworthy and neutral people on our team, Cyborg entrusted me to be second in command to prevent any pre-Christmas misdemeanors…yes…I am so going to spend my time trying to prevent the inevitable; we were all bound to find out, in some way or another, except Cy, what we were getting as gifts before hand.

But things change…and I find myself racking my brain for ideas for what to give Beast Boy as a present. With only a few days left before Christmas, I have, as usual, procrastinated on my Christmas shopping since I had far more important things to attend to such as acting on an old grudge (I forgive people relatively easily though…I'm rarely the grudge holding type), dusting my cloaks off to rid them of dragon breath, redecorating my room slightly to get rid of suspicious, old looking tomes, burning a few more of old magical books that may possibly possess wizards and dragons within them, but I digress…

And though I've tried to push it out of my mind, it always comes popping back within my mind (like that old Kylie Minogue song that keeps getting stuck in your head) that I should go search for Beast Boy's present, because I want to do something special for him. Yet, whenever, I try to think of what he may possibly want besides what is already on his list (No, I am not going to buy him a poster) and taken care of thanks to Control Freak, every idea is defeated in someway or another.

Maybe I should get him a gift certificate.

A wise voice emerged within my mind. A wise choice indeed, Raven. Gift certificates are quite practical.

But then there is hyperactive and very pink Happy counteracting logic. I don't know about you Raven, but would you like to get a gift certificate from someone? I mean it's kind of impersonal, and you should get as personal as you can to Beast Boy especially… if you get my drift.

No, I don't get your "drift."

And of course, the timid, shy voice within my mind starts getting a backbone of her own. I-I agree with her Raven. I-it would make me feel kind of better if we kind of got him something slightly more personal.

How 'bout a thong? It's personal AND you get your point across.

No, Gross. Just no.

You should give him your spell book "Unleashing your Inner Demon." Beast Boy's Beast within was sexy in a demonic way.

Rage, I am so proud of you! You've said something besides Rage will consume you.

All this Christmas stuff is getting to me. Happiness-no I mean RAGE will eat you up. Drat…I've lost some of my edge.

And Rage is in a way right…I think Christmas is getting to me. Or maybe it's something else. But as I browse through the numerous special discount gifts in the shops after looking for the "perfect gift" in other stores, I can't help but to keep questioning my gift choice before I buy it.

"Merry Christmas." I hand him a gift certificate.

"Oh…cool! Thanks Raven." And with a small smile upon his face, he would eagerly prance around feigning that he was happy that he received cash from me and that he was no longer broke (that is until he pays Cyborg and Robin back). Yet beneath that usual smile, I would sense some disappointment. I am 'Raven' in his eyes and I am not usually the one to take the easy way out.

So they were right. The gift certificate idea wouldn't work.

"Here Beast Boy. What you've always wanted: a complete collection of all the Wicked Scary Movies." I would present the massive bookshelf sized DVD collection to him nonchalantly.

"Raven! You're the best!" And like an eager child on his first Christmas, he would rush over towards the shelf and check out his gift. "Whoa! Rae! How did you get all of these? Some of them-all of the copies were destroyed and…" Until he is over the initial excitement of receiving such a gift or until he decides to watch the first movie, he would keep speaking of it, the random facts…how the dead female characters are always left with exactly one eye lash less. (No idea how he would know such a random fact, but he is Beast Boy after all).

But, I have a reputation to keep up…as the mysterious, untouchable one, and doing such a thing would generate a very strange sort of reaction.

I shouldn't care so much though. Beast Boy has always been a teammate and a friend…yet I can't help but to feel that I owe him so much this year. Yes, he's found several new ways of annoying me to my wit's end (like April Fool's when he painted my cloaks pink…I got him back in a pleasant game of stank ball), not maliciously of course, but with the little things. The tofu munching, the little brother-like hyper-ness, and the list continues on, but somehow, this year, he's different. Perhaps, he's finally growing up.

No, he's definitely grown up, so much in so many different ways. And that's what I really liked seeing in him this past year. He's maturing into quite the handsome "beast man"-no, I did not just say that. This Christmas cheer is really getting to me. No, he'll never be handsome, per say, because he'll always have that bit of boyish naivety and charm within him…so he'll always be a bit on the adorable side. Crud…I'm getting all sentimental, but I am beginning to understand why Robin enjoys Star's company so much…

He has been so much more than a teammate these days, and I just want to show him gratitude. It was the night that she left us, permanently left us, and I watched as he made his way out of his room, half stumbling from exhaustion, half weary from sadness and anger. Disturbed as I was, I couldn't sleep either…so meditation replaced slumber that night. Without a word, he edged towards me.

"Why did she…" And without another word, he stumbled onto my lap and placed his face upon my cloak. I did not mind, but it bothered me that I couldn't utter any words of comfort to him as Starfire would have been able to, show him how to view his situation from a more pragmatic standpoint as Robin would, or to simply sympathize as an old friend as Cyborg would. Instead, I just felt tears, wet warm tears fall upon my cloak as I sat there, unsure of what to say or how to say it…

Beast Boy: he was the one waiting outside my room after that dragon betrayed my trust. And as he stood out there apologizing, something inside me just wanted-no needed to reach out towards him and embrace him as someone who knows how it feels to be betrayed, as just a fellow, physical being…as a friend. And that something had nothing to do with my slightly insane and multiple facets of emotions or that demonic force within…that something was from me: no outside forces intervening, simply me trying to connect to another.

With that thought in mind, I pick out his gift.


I place the small purple package underneath the Christmas Tree…or rather, in these politically correct days, the evergreen tree. Yes. I am done with all of this Christmas business and am free to return to cynicism in peace until the actual day… With all this Christmas spirit around, I almost got caught up in the euphoria, meaning that now is a perfect time for…you've guessed it, herbal tea.

Grabbing a book of Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol (being the respective kings and queens of the holiday season, Beast Boy and Starfire had removed all depressing books from our main book shelf), which at least had ghosts within it, I settle down at the counter waiting for the hot water kettle to boil.

"Be reassured titans! We have returned and are commencing to traverse to the tree so that we may proceed to place our gifts under it and nothing- " Starfire's voice comes spilling through the doors of the living room, sounding rather suspicious.

"Sh…Star…" Another voice…a male's voice, Robin's of course, comes softly cutting her off. "We don't want anyone to suspect anything…in case Cyborg's there." Hm…that certainly doesn't sounds suspicious. If I cared at all about Cyborg's one-man-around-the-clock-pre-Christmas-gift-opening-surveillance, I would have alerted him of this suspicious and possibly potent gathering.

They are probably going to exchange gifts, early, as usual. Though on Christmas day, Starfire is always bubbly when she receives dear old Robin's gift, there is a bit of surprise missing from it…and Robin just can't pull of the initial, eye mask widening shock when he sees what odd item she had chosen to give him that year. I mean last year, when Robin saw the set of Batman underpants that Star had given him, he offered only a nervous chuckle and a "how did you find out my size?" I would have expected far more than that…such as a jump or…but I digress again.

As I prepare to greet them with a "I heard everything," my book falls to the ground and I bend down, away from sight to pick it up. "Joyous! There is no one in this room of living. You could perhaps, proceed with what you had intended to do earlier in stealth?" Yes. They are going to exchange presents. Starfire seems to struggle slightly with the huge bulk of an oddly wrapped package as she enters the room.

This should be good! I can't wait to see what happens!

No…I really should respect my teammate's privacy…that would be the virtuous and intelligent thing to do, Raven.

Besides…peaking is very wrong and immoral and lost of other stuff…and what would your friends, who probably already hate and dislike me, think of you now. Oh woe upon this dreary, lonely world…

Rage will consume you.

Aww…don't be such a spoil sport guys! Hehe, this should be fun!

Burp…I'm hungry…I need to be fed…

Darn these multiple personalities. They make me so indecisive.

Robin, meanwhile, shuffles through his many compartments in his belt searching for Star's present. "It should be here somewhere."

Now, even if I didn't want to stay and watch the two of them exchange gifts, I can't do so without looking awfully nosy…not to mention suspicious; it's so ironic how the tables turn so suddenly.

"It is all right Robin, you need not-"

"Ah! Here it is!" He proceeds to eagerly hand her a small package with a sash carelessly draped around it. Star seems rather reluctant at first to accept the gift, but with presents in sight, she couldn't help it (perhaps feeling guilt after listening to Cyborg's policy?) and smiles brightly as she looks upon the box… "Robin…I do feel of guilt right now-" "Oh no, don't be. My allowance from Batman covers it completely, and I still have plenty of money to spend on myself." He scratches his head sheepishly; no doubt, he has gotten her something expensive.

Star begins openly the package, admiring the sash and later the velvet box that is within it…all the while brimming with joy and looking strangely slightly guilty. "I-oh Robin! It is a most lovely! Glorious! I know not how to thank you! Oh! I wish to recite the poem of unbridled joy!" She draws in a deep breath preparing to recite a lengthy poem, when Robin, once again interrupts her (did he ever learn that it was rude to interrupt others…well actually, in this case, I don't mind not listening to a poem of joy) with a terse "It's really all right Star. Like that old maxim, tis better to give than to- " Before he can finish his statement, she leaps towards him in a back-breaking hug. "Can't…breathe…oxygen…deprived…" However, Star hadn't really noticed…until he starts collapsing to the floor and looking rather blue, gasping for air.

"Eek! Robin! I shall perform the C of the PR upon you!" At the utterance of this, he suddenly looks slightly more alive indeed. Star presses his chest for several long moments, but seeing the Boy Wonder still sprawled upon the floor, she prepares to give him a "breath of life." As she leans nearer to his mouth, she feels a sudden warmth upon her lips. "Robin! You are undamaged! I had feared that you had ceased breathing!" She utters joyfully as she took his hand and pulls a slightly disappointed Boy Wonder from the ground.

"Oh, but you look not well in completion. Perhaps, you require a pudding from my home planet or perhaps an earthen water of the chicken."

"Um…actually, I feel much better. No pudding needed. Why don't I see what you got me?" Robin approaches the large bulk of a present Starfire has placed beneath, or rather, beside the tree. Guilt flashing in her eyes, Star sighes, uncharacteristically and begins twisting her hands. "I…Robin, that is not your gift. I apologize Robin…I had wanted to tell you of this earlier, but you were so brimming with eagerness to bestow me your gift and…what I mean to say is that Cyborg was my secret Santa companion."

"What!" Robin yells out in surprise complete with the eye mask zooming from his face, genuinely disappointed, though I don't see why not, Star's too creative at times in terms of gift giving.

"I apologize Robin…forgive me. I have spent most of my earnings upon Cyborg's gift, but with the monetary items that remained in my possession, I have purchased a gift for you." Head drooping, she slides a small present to Robin. "I apologize…Cyborg had mentioned that he quite enjoyed rolling stones, so I purchased for him, a magnanimous and heavy boulder. He may perchance use the rock of such a great magnitude to perform his most favored activity. Rocks, unlike upon Tamaran require such high prices to purchase." Noting Robin's still surprised expression upon his face, she begins to turn away and slid a considerably smaller gift-wrapped box to him. "I shall leave you-"

"No, Star. I'm not mad at all…there's nothing to apologize for. I was just surprised for a while…and debating whether or not to tell you that by "rolling stones" Cyborg meant something else."

By hearing this, the alien girl begins to quiver. "H-h-have I purchased a gift in error? Oh dear Robin! That is most treacherous news. Now I shall have disappointed both Cyborg and you in the task of gift giving. The store manager had informed me that Cyborg's purchase was 'not to be returned by any means.' What am I to do?"

Noting the error in his choice of words, he quickly reprimanded himself for thinking out loud to himself and attempted to successfully console his friend. "No! I mean, no I'm sure Cyborg will love your gift. I may have misinterpreted what he meant, but what I meant to say earlier was that I was surprised because, you know, we usually get to buy each other secret Santa gifts."

"I understand Robin, but you would perhaps recall that our secret Santa gifts were not always done in honesty."

Just as I suspected…of course, I have always wondered how the two of them have managed to be Secret Santa buddies for the past three, no make that four years. In the year that I was in charge of shuffling the names, they probably got each other by luck. The other years though, come to think of it, it was quite obvious. Robin, trusty leader, was in charge of the assignments the next year, then Starfire, then Beast Boy, who of course rigged them. No wonder he had the honor of getting a very expensive game counsel from Cyborg, who had stocked up a great sum of money and generosity (for the holiday season that year) from a recently discovered rich relative.

"Oh yea…but hey, we can still make a tradition of exchanging some sort of gift early. I'm sure that I'll enjoy whatever you give me." Maintaining a nervous smile, Robin opens Star's box and began turning red…a very deep shade of red. "I…it's…it's…very unique and…thank you." "I believe that this sort of flora was pertinent to the season. Correct? I had wished to obtain a poinsettia, but I was severely lacking in monetary funds. Is not the toe of mistle an appropriate gift given between two very close companions?"

"Well, yes. In fact Star, actually, that's why I was kind of…what's the word…surprised at your gift choice because…" He pauses for a moment and getting over his shyness, he seemed resolved to make a confession of some sort.

"Yes?"

"Because…" He stands nearer to the Tamaranian and inches closer. "It's actually for two very, very close companions; people who are more than just…uh…well, typically, we hang mistletoe and people usually perform a…um…"

"Yes Robin?" Star seems to have gained an inkling as to his train of thoughts and leaned nearer to him as well.

I really need to get out of here before something happens.

Come on Raven! Have a bit of fun and stay! Rage will-

POW Yeesh uncontrollable Rage, can't you at least say something different. I'm really sick of hearing you say the same thing over and over again.

Everyone, to teleport out, I need absolute focus. Please be quiet for a moment.

I dare say, wise, wise choice you've made, Raven. You're learning to listen to the more mature and educated part of your-

Aww…can and dump it! She's listening to me! I can't stand mushy stuff like people getting all romancy.

How ironic, Gross…truly.

And then all heck breaks loose when the neglected kettle went off and in an attempt to stop the noise from interrupting them in a rather awkward moment, I bump my head against the countertop, and my identity is revealed. "Um…hi…sorry…I was just in the process of teleporting out and…"

Two surprised gasps escape from the room, before the rather disappointed yet slightly relived pair regain their composure.

"No need for apologies Raven."

"Yea, but hey, you won't tell Cy what we were doing right? I mean, me and Star, have always had this tradition of exchanging gifts early."

"I can tell…does it look like I care enough about Cyborg's surveillance?"

An awkward pause continues before Star ends the silence with a joyful "Glorious! I observe that there is another package beneath this festive tree; Raven, if I may inquire, who were you required to purchase gifts for?"

"Beast Boy." I am not going to say anything else about the gift I had gotten for him, though they are clearly expecting me to say a bit more. When the silence continues, Star emits a "Oh. Glorious!" and Robin mutters a "Um…yea…cool…"

Being articulate as I am, I utter a "Um…yea…"

A long awkward silence continues as I try to escape from the room, though Star stood directly in front of my possible exit.

Yes. Exciting weather we're having in the common room of the tower? Everything is calm and placid across the room…no moving couches or television sets…I wonder what the temperature is in here. Perhaps, I could go check the thermostat…

I'm really scaring myself here; never knew that you could be so capable of such eccentric thoughts when you're truly at a loss of what to say…

Thankfully, Starfire interrupts the silence.

"I have heard of an oddly nomenclatured musical group. They are called the 'beetles'? Correct? I had thought that "beetles" were an earthen animal species?" She pauses for a moment, but before Robin could provide an explanation, she had a sudden epiphany. "'And I have been toiling as a canine domesticus, correct?' And yes, were they not the ones who performed the 'yellow colored underwater transportation device'? Ah! Excuse my mistake friends, I had always thought that they were to be called Coleoptera Insecta."

"Yeah. That's right Star…well, you have the main idea. Hey, did you want me to teach you how to make some hot chocolate?"


Hours later, after that interesting encounter with my two teammates, I return to the kitchen, needing another cup of herbal tea. It is getting now, but not dark enough to bother turning on the light. I levitate into the room when WHACK! I collide straight on with a crouched, large, green mass on the ground…Beast Boy.

"Ouch…way to greet someone Raven." He mutters cheerily, though clearly still recovering form the initial shock of the collision as he massages an area of his afflicted head. He looks to the side, making sure that the crudely wrapped gift (think gigantic ball of green tissue) is in good shape.

"I'm sorry…" I begin as I knell down beside him and begin seeing if there are any areas that needed immediate attention. I really hate to see him get hurt like this…drat, where did that just come from. Christmas is really getting to me.

Raven! You just bumped into him. Apologize more! Come on, now's the chance to show him that you care!

Um…I already apologized…

In my very humble opinion…I-if you don't mind m-me speaking up…I really think that you should maybe kind of apologize a little more? I-I don't want him to me mad at me…

Logically speaking, you merely bumped into him. What you said was sufficient already.

Yeesh…you just have to make everything so darn logical. I say you start "healing" BB, you know place your hands upon him, near his head area and feel how soft that green hair can get…

T-that s-sounds kind of nice, Gross…though I would never have the courage to do such a thing.

With these multiple personalities, I would think that at least one of them would be somewhat useful…and no, Rage, I don't need your input.

Darn! Because I was going to say…Rage will consume you.

Yes…you are very helpful indeed. I'll handle this on my own…

Feeling rather awkward and overly caring, I place my hand on him shoulder. "Are you OK? I should have watched where I was going…"

"Yea, I'm feeling better-I mean, Raven! My head is still throbbing like crazy, and so is my back now! Maybe…if you'd let me lean against you for a bit…I'd feel a lot better." He gives me his characteristic "honest, I'm being 'innocent'" look, which didn't quite work.

"Um…BB, your pushing it."

"Hey! Well, I tried to milk it for all it was worth. You know, it's not every day that we bump into each other like this and…"

Slightly sheepish, unsure of how exactly to approach his "oh so slick" advances without losing my "untouchable" demeanor, I did the usual thing…gotten up and am preparing to head over to the kitchen counter when he quickly gets up and yelps a "Wait! I'm not done yet!"

"Ok…you want me to heal your non-existent injuries?"

"Even better Rae…I have a present for you."

"Well, if it's that gift you have um…wrapped in an interesting manner, won't it be kind of hard for you to rewrap it, so that Cyborg doesn't catch on to opening gifts early?"

"Oh, that bulk of tissue paper, my masterpiece? Nah! I have something way better for you Raven. You've been wanting this…this…since a long while ago. I just need to add a few more finishing touches…I could give it to you in the time it takes for you to say Boy Beast…heh…I mean Beast Boy twice." He gives a quick wink and a large, adorable smile. Wait…adorable? I just said adorable? All this Christmas-flavored mystery herbal tea is not boding too well with my stoic self.

Sounds really promising Raven! I can't wait! It's gonna be something really special, and it's going to make us all really happy!

Happiness will consume you.

Rage! You just agreed with me! This is great! All the more why you should probably thank him, ask him to get his 'gift', whatever it may be right now. Oooo Raven! I am so excited for you! And for myself!

A shy giggle escapes from another personality. I-I…this sounds kind of nice. I-I really want to see what BB's given you.

I may admit, that I am rather curious as well. Why don't you go for it Raven?

Yeah! Like smooch him right now; I just hope he hasn't eaten any of that disgusting tofu crap beforehand…it's really nasty to kiss guys when they've had that stuff.

And Gross, as my records show, Raven, meaning you, have never touched the lips of anyone…pray tell, how would you know?

Well I

Following their heedful advice, I respond. "Um…you know…this could wait…"

Rage is very rageful right now!

Raven!

Raven! I dare say, I thought you'd have more sense than that than to dispel an offer just like that.

Sniff…I kind of really wanted to sort of see what he was going to give to us. Maybe he doesn't like me because I'm too shy…

"Actually, I wanna give it to you now." And with that he prances off eagerly, preparing his 'gift' to me. "Well, I suppose that works too…" I am getting sort of curious as well…

I am further intrigued when he returns with nothing in his hand. "So…I guess this is a spiritual, intangible sort of gift? I mean, this makes me kind of proud of you BB, never thought you had it in you to give this sort of gift."

"Not exactly…" Another cheery smile curves upwards from his cute lips. I've resigned myself to being afflicted with the Christmas "cheerful" (cringe) mood syndrome. He holds his wrist and around it, there was a thin ribbon encircled around it. You've got to be kidding me…this is some sort of freaky fantasy (which I, of course, would never dream up…I blame Gross and Happy)…I don't mind though…

"Beast Boy, you know that I'm not exactly pro-pimpism or anything. As green and cuddly as you can be to fan girls…I can't accept 'you' as a gift."

"Dude! You've been secretly watching those R-Rated movies all the time with me and Cy haven't you, along the side! Heh, we've done it! We've made Raven-"

"No…I am not a pervert."

"Yea…sure…I believe ya…"

"Was that an attempt at sarcasm?"

"Um…yea! It actually was. Well, I'm kind of new at this stuff, you know."

"I thought that was actually pretty good…"

"Heh, see Rae, I am multitalented!"

"You're pushing it again."

"Sorry."

"So about your gift, what exactly do you mean?"

He gives another characteristic Beast Boy chuckle. "Oh yea! Well, remember those times when I wanted to prove to you that I am not a total prankster and can be kinda sensitive sometimes by reciting poetry?"

"Hey guys! Look! I officially have a fan girl stalker! Isn't that so cool? Heh, Robin, even though you do get lots of nice gifts from girls (at this Starfire approached Robin with a quizzical glance 'What are these gifts that Beast Boy speaks of')" He waved the piece of fan mail eagerly in the air.

"Actually, Beast Boy, I already have about fi-" But upon looking at his Tamaranean friend and remembering a certain prom date, he quickly corrected himself. "I mean-I don't really have any stalkers…I just have these fans who kind of like getting lots of autographs."

"Stalkers are nothing to be proud of. I have about ten, and they're all scarily obsessive." I muttered, remembering from experience weeks ago on Valentine's day when several of them were camped outside, hoping to get a date, which they haplessly did not get.

"Well fine Raven, but I bet you your stalkers don't write poetry about you. Look my fan girl stalker wrote all this freaky stuff about me." With that, he shoved the letter (which was perfumed might I add appropriately with a tofu-like scent) into my face. Skimming through the poem quickly, I found it to be quite good, certainly the fan girl was rather imaginative and educated (unlike those squealing letters drenched in perfume from the typical ten-year old fan girl) because her poem used some rather advanced (but lovely nonetheless) language. "I actually like it…it's a good poem."

" I found it somewhat creepy. I mean, who goes through the trouble of writing their idol a lovey dovey poem?"

"Well, I like poetry." I uttered, slightly offended at his degradation of a perfectly good poem. I was actually feeling somewhat sorry for that poor fan girl who constructed that poem.

"Poems are glorious expressions of emotions. On my world, it would be insulting not to receive a poem of praise from an admirer."

"I respect poetry as well. It's just a different way of expressing yourself rather than the usual prose." Robin added.

"Maybe you just don't like poetry because you can't handle it, BB." With Cyborg's addition, Beast Boy was challenged, annoyed; his opinion stomped out by the majority. However, unlike adding some sort of corny joke and laughing it off, I think that Cyborg, actually all of us, had wounded his pride…and though he could turn into a chicken (literally and figuratively), he wasn't going to be embarrassed over something as "silly" as poems. "Hey, you know what everyone? I can get these poem thingys as well, and I'll prove it to you…I'll…I'll like memorize a poem and say it to you guys someday." But that promise was momentarily forgotten when the titan alarm went off. He was going to get himself off easy this time…or so I thought.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a stoic, introverted, half-demon girl is not only in want of, but in need (as I discovered) of a highly private sanctum or room to "brood" in.

"Hey Raven! I've just memorized a poem! Want me to recite it?"

"Uh…later? I need some time alone in my room." I really need to organize my collection of identical blue cloaks by shade color.

"How 'bout now?"

"Um…I need my alone time…" The statues of demonic creatures in my room could be reorganized…to prevent unwanted visitors or trespassers, I should definitely move that hideous, statue of the terrifying Barney near the door (sorry, Daddy dearest, nothing is scarier than Barney.

"It's a good poem, and I can recite it real well!"

"The room beckons…" Maybe I could rearrange my book shelf by the age of the text…

"Hey Rae! I have something cool to show you! Do you have some time?" He asked eagerly as I walked down the hall. "Sorry Beast Boy, I have to-"

"The room right?"

No…I don't recall at all. "It sounds vaguely familiar."

"Well ok. I'm gonna serenade you with a poem by Wilhelm Shockspeare." With that, he kneels down before me and takes my hand into his…this is certainly a comfortably awkward position to be in.

"You serenade people with music. You mean William Shakespeare don't you?" Though the hand holding certainly felt strange…it is oddly pleasant at the same time. He can get pretty adorable when he's like this. (No comment. Like I've said before, I've given up on resisting the Christmas spirit.)

"Oh yea! William Shakespeare, that's the dude's name. I keep getting it confused with the guy who beat Napoleon after he accidentally bombed Pearl Harbor with British tea bags." And then with a chuckle, he begins and truly surprises me…he is quite good actually, a very expressive speaker.

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;

Coral is far more red than her lips' red;

If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

And in some perfumes is there more delight

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know

That music hath a far more pleasing sound:

I grant I never saw a goddess go,—

My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:

"Beast Boy, are you trying to imply that I'm unattractive physically, by directing this poem specifically to me?"

Raven, why did you say such a thing! Of course, you do know what is meant by that sonnet!

I was joking. That was supposed to be funny.

Rae, as much as I love you, well actually myself since we are technically the same entity, your humor timing needs work. What if he thought you were being serious?

Multiple personalities just have the best timing.

"Of course not! You're…well I think you're really pretty…in a different but good way. You aren't like the other pretty girls out there…your beauty's more exciting I guess that would be one way to describe it, and every time I look at you, it's like I discover something newer and more beautiful in you that I've never noticed before: physically and personality-wise. Oh curd…did I just say all that out loud?"

I don't believe it either, but I think he really did say all of that because for the next few minutes, we didn't speak to each other and stood in silence…both of our faces becoming quite red and remaining red for a long while. He stands up after a while from the kneeling position, though he kept his hand over mine, and tugs at his shirt, all the while, looking away. We cannot meet each other's eyes.

Moments later, or perhaps several years later, I "You did…but that was, well if I were the sentimental type, I would call that really sweet."

"But you aren't…you're you-the unemotional and unaffected Raven. What do you say?"

"I still would say it was sweet."

Score for Raven! Next thing ya know, we'll be smooching BB's luscious, green lips and tasting them like we're eating vegetables.

That's purely disgusting Gross. I can't believe that I, a certainly more refined personality, am somehow distinctly related to you.

Shh…guys can it! I wanna see what's going on! Oooo this is so exciting! Raven, I'm here being really happy and excited for you!

And I'm assuming that you would be most definitely be Rage.

He brings his free hand up and scratches the back of his head sheepishly ("Heh. Thanks.") when he suddenly realizes that he hadn't yet set out to finish what he had intended to do. "Hey Rae! You distracted me!"

"Yea, that was definitely my plan…"

"Ok let me finish it up." He draws in a deep breath and takes both of my hands into his. "And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare as any she belied with false compare." With the ending of the last word, he looks up and meets my eyes. A spark of some sort ignited and we draw nearer to each other…soon, our faces are inches apart. Wow…what has Christmas done to me…it's as if I'm describing some sort of lurid love scene between two long, lost star-crossed lovers in those trashy romance novels…

Hehe! Shalala kiss the girl, oh it'll be fun, shalala come on and kiss the girl, and-

I-I know it's not really nice to interrupt and all but I don't think that you have the words correctly.

I do agree. Besides, Happy, logically, this song makes no sense. Raven is the girl right now. It would be better if you were to sing something more like "Sha-la-la-la come on and kiss the boy" as opposed to "Sha-la-la-la come on and kiss the girl." And Raven, I can't agree more. Perhaps, add more details to your thought descriptions such as our faces were exactly 2.54 inches apart, no, I mean, they our now 2.1 inches apart. Exponential decay shows that…

The kiss shall consume you.

Oh goody! Rage, I am so so proud of you today, you're actually saying way more stuff than you usually are. Oh, I think I'll give you a big old hug right now!

Rage shall consume Happiness.

Fine, fine…oh my gosh! She's almost there! She's so close that she can smell all of Beast Boy's delectable lunch.

Yea…tofu breath is certainly very sexy, and you guys thought I was gross.

I-I don't really know if I should say this, but I still think I should say this though you guys may probably dislike me more than you do already, but Gross that was pretty corny.

Would they ever be quiet?

I feel my cheeks redden slightly as I felt Beast Boy's hands grasp around me, as he stands higher on his tiptoes. I strangely have a desire to look up…to confirm something…I really shouldn't, it may curse the moment, but temptation overcomes me and I briefly glance up to see the ceiling above me. There is a pleasant video camera (?) right above of us flashing?

And suddenly, a loud, roaring alarm is heard throughout the tower. We separate rapidly, prepared to attack some sort of cruel, monstrous villain when we see Cyborg run into the room, fully armed and hazardous with two great lumps of coal.

"Y'all thought you could get away with it didn't you? But here you two are, right in front of the surveillance system, peaking at your Christmas presents. Honestly, Raven, of all people, I thought I could trust you with this…"

Ok, so, yes, I am haplessly guilty as charged; I did peak at my "gift." I have no regrets though, except that Gross did make a good point. I should give him a few breath mints later on…as a subtle hint. I exchange a sly glance with Beast Boy as Cyborg continued shoving the pieces of coal in our faces ("I'm not the real Santa, so I'll be kind, but if he, the big man, caught y'all peaking at your gifts, you ain't getting nothing from him 'cept this nice lump of coal." Hm…perhaps I do like coal), he looks willing enough to try exchanging gifts again.

The End


AN:

Raven's multiple personalities were very much inspired by Seth Turtle's excellent, BB/R fan must read fic called "Shadows." Poem was by Shakespeare.

Wow, another very long Christmas one-shot…I'm surprised, I usually don't write one-shots this long. I hope the BB/R scenes were ok, I'm relatively new at writing that pairing in a more humorous situation.

And please do review, flame, burn up, toss away, critique, or perhaps comment. Also, if you liked this, try checking out "My Only Wish"(being the review hoarder I am, I reposted that to be in accordance with my original plan of releasing two Christmas fics back to back).

And lastly, a heart-felt Merry Christmas and bahumbug to all!