Hello my fellow yu-gi-oh fans!!! I finally changed the format to story mode, for those of you that read my original. (It's not on anymore, they kicked it off…sob) If you didn't read it before, well, you are now so it doesn't matter anyway. Just a few comments before I start the story…

If you like anzu or Honda, I strongly suggest that you don't read this fic, you'll be quite unhappy…

This fic contains yaoi. Nothing romantic, this is a comedy, it's mainly weird jokes and stuff like that.

There's profanity in this fic. I mean, jeeze, its rated PG 13, what did you expect?

Yeah, I'm going to be making fun of nearly every single character. I have nothing against them, but, well, some of them kinda had it coming to them. I mean, have you noticed that every one of kaiba's computer technicians is female? I mean, the guy does live a lonely life…

Disclaimer: I don't own yu-gi-oh. I will not repeat myself every chapter and if you think I could somehow earn the rights to it between chapters then you're too much of an idiot to read my fic in the first place.

Now that that's over with, time for the new, revamped, redone chapter one!!!


It was another regular morning at the Kaiba Household. The sun was shining, birds were chirp- well, no, the birds weren't chirping. Kaiba had ordered the guards to shoot them all, but it was still a happy morning for most.

It was Friday, the first day of a three-day weekend, so both Kaiba and Mokuba were off of school. They were doing what they always did on weekends. Kaiba would sit at the table, reading stock quotes, and Mokuba would flip through the morning mail nonchalantly, looking for something interesting.

But this morning, Mokuba found something unusual…

"Uh, big brother?" he figured Kaiba should know about this.

"hm..." Kaiba grunted in response. Mokuba guessed that that meant he had his attention.

"I found something weird in the mail." Kaiba almost looked panicked. Mokuba wondered why he would get so upset at a simple statement.

"I swear, mokuba, those magazines aren't mine, the security guards order them, I don't even find those girls attractive!!!"


"uh…never mind. Continue on, mokuba."

Mokuba gave his brother a strange look before continuing. "We received a letter addressed to Gozaburo. What do you want me to do with it?"

"Just throw it away Mokuba, I don't need any of the old guy's subscriptions, I have my own".

"Subscriptions for what?"

"uh…technical magazines…y'know…for video games…"

"uh-huh…" mokuba wondered why gozaburo would have video game magazines, but he left it at that.

He took another look at the letter. "but Seto, this looks important."

"Fine, give it here." Kaiba had retained his usual calm and cool composer. He wasn't going to let a little slip up like that mess him up, oh no he wasn't…

"Looks like one of Gozaburo's relatives died and left him a house. It doesn't concern us , so I'll get rid of it."

Kaiba moved to go throw it away, but mokuba stopped him.

"Wait, Seto, can I have the house?"

Kaiba looked at his brother, puzzled. "Why? We have a house."

"I don't want to live with you my whole life, seto. I want to be free. WHY won't you let me LIVE!?! WHY???"

Kaiba continued to stare at Mokuba. "Are you… practicing for a bad soap opera or something?"

"Uh, actually, yes, for school. I get to play the little diabetic boy who goes into a coma in the first episode."

"…anyway… if you want your own house so bad, I can just buy you one when you move out."

"But I want this one!!!"

"Why!?!" Kaiba was getting tired of this argument.

"um… I dunno."

"Argh! Mokuba, you are being stupid, you are not getting this house!"

"Please?" Mokuba stared up at his big brother, using the full effect of his chibi eyes.

"Ahh…stop that. That isn't going to work this time, so just knock it off!"

Mokuba could feel his brother starting to crack, so he went all out chibi on him.

"…You suck…"

"So I get the house?"

"Yes, just knock it off already."

"Well, what do we have to do?"

Seto re-read the letter carefully. "Apparently, all we have to do is stay in it for three days. Wait, didn't I see a horror movie like this once?"

"Don't worry Seto, I can do it myself if you don't want to go!"

Kaiba glanced at his brother. "Uh-uh, no way, you get scared way to easily. There is no way you'd be able to be by yourself for three days."

"I do not get scared!"

"Then how come last time I let you watch a horror movie, I woke up in the middle of the night to you clutching my leg and sobbing?"

"I was only seven!"

"Yeah, and now you're, what, ten?"

"Well, if you don't trust me, I guess you have to come with me."

"Just go with a security guard."

Mokuba looked up at his brother. "did you forget? It's a holiday weekend. All employees are off."

"what!?! What if someone try's to assassinate me?"

"To be fair, Seto, most of the people that try to kill you work for you. In fact, I think a few of the security guards have tried to kill you, too."

"Oh yeah…"

"See, you have to come with me."

Kaiba looked aggravated, but he finally succumbed to his brother's wish. "Fine. But we're leaving now. I want to get this over with as soon as possible."

Mokuba then got an idea. "Seto…can I bring some friends along, too?"

"Don't be stupid, Mokuba." Kaiba quickly left the room to go pack, before his brother started using his chibi eyes again.

"He didn't exactly say no…" Mokuba ran over to the phone. He knew exactly who to call…

Seto had been acting grumpy lately (even more so than usual) so Mokuba was going to force him to have fun this weekend. Maybe even become friends with Yugi and the rest.

Maybe he could even get a girlfriend. "Wait, what am I thinking? The only girl among them is Anzu. Oh well, maybe Seto's bent. He does like rainbows… Jonouchi does too, in fact. Oh ewww…"

Trying to forget the mental picture he just got, Mokuba called Yugi. After a while, Mokuba finally convinced Yugi that Kaiba wasn't trying to kill him again. (he had quite a reputation…)

"Ok, sounds fun, I call everyone else for you, Mokuba. You need to go pack."

"thanks Yugi."

"no prob-" Mokuba could no longer hear Yugi's voice. It was cut off by someone yelling in the background, and he kept hearing weird explosions every few seconds. He couldn't understand what the person was yelling. It sounded almost like… Egyptian!?!

"Er, sorry Mokuba, Yami's having problems with the microwave again, I got to go."

Mokuba could hear Yugi yelling to someone in the background. "for Ra's sake, get the fire extinguisher Yami!" –click-

Mokuba just stared at the phone for a few minutes. He left to go pack, figuring that it wasn't his problem.

- - -

That's it for now. Chapter two coming somewhat soon! Er, maybe February? I dunno. Anyway, see ya next time!