Severitus Challenge

Finding a Father

By: Lil Padfoot

Chapter 1: Letters from Lily

Note: This is unbeta'ed. A new version will be posted once it has been beta'ed.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, Severitus owns the plot, what's left for me? Nothing!! Any similarities between this and other Severitus fics is not my fault, there are so many out there that it is hard to come up with something new!

Summary: What happens when Harry finds out that his father is alive? How about when said father is his hated Potions professor? Harry has to deal with the fact that he is a Snape while trying to cope with Sirus' death in OotP. Summer before and during sixth year. OotP spoilers. This is in response to Severitus Challenge.

Updates: Will be once or twice a week, depending on how fast I can write and type.

Warning: This story shall contain self-mutilation and child abuse. Don't like, don't read.

Reviews: I will dedicate a chapter to my 50th reviewer, 100th reviewer, 150th reviewer, and so on ('Dark Lord' and 'Dreams' readers know how this works) so please read 'n review!!

Thank you to the following reviewers:

This Chapter: Harry and Snape both receive letters from an unexpected person.

Now……On with the story!

Chapter 1: Letters from Lily

Snape walked up the spiral staircase that led to Dumbledore's office. What could Dumbledore possibly want with him? He had things to be doing, like brewing potions for his Lord and thinking up new ways to torment that Potter brat and the rest of the ever-irritating Gryffindors.

Oh, how he hated the word Lord. Along with words such as Master, Voldemort, and Potter. He shuddered slightly before stepping into Dumbledore's office. He found himself wondering what had happened as he saw the pieces of numerous silver objects scattered around the room.

"Ah, there you are Severus. Please, take a seat." said Dumbledore brightly. Snape took a seat near the desk where Dumbledore was seated with what looked like the pieces of a lunascope.

"What did you need me for, Headmaster?" asked Snape. The twinkle disappeared from Dumbledore's eyes as he looked Snape in the eye.

"Severus, I have to ask a favor of you." said Dumbledore, his previous chipper ness gone. Uh-oh, this better not involve Potter.

"The Order is concerned about Harry. He has written every three days as requested by them, but they feel something is amiss. I would like you to go and check on Harry as soon as possible, today if you can." said Dumbledore. Snape felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. Him, check on Potter? Dumbledore must have lost the rest of his brain.

"Why not Lupin? He would be glad to check on Potter." said Snape.

"Remus is in extremely bad shape after losing his best friend and cannot go. You are the most suitable for the task, as you are not liable to lie about Harry's condition." said Dumbledore gravely. Snape sighed. He wasn't going to get out of this.

"Fine, then. I'll go now." he said, wanting to get the task over with as soon as possible.

"One moment, Severus." said Dumbledore, waving his wand. He felt a strange tickling sensation and saw that his robes had been transfigured into a simple Muggle suit.

"Now you may go. The address is Number Four, Privet Drive." said Dumbledore. Snape left the office, dreading his task.

Harry's POV

Harry lay limply on his bed, feeling excruciating pain throughout his body. It was a combination of numerous Cruciatus Curses and his damned Uncle. But it was no more than he deserved after killing Sirius, the closest person he's ever had to a father. He sat up and grimaced.

He reached up and rubbed his scar, which was burning slightly. It had been doing that ever since he'd come back to Privet Drive. Voldemort was using the connection between them to his advantage, using it to torment Harry in his sleep with images of Sirius. No, don't think about that, don't think about how he killed Sirius.

Harry got off the bed and stood up, walking dizzily over to his trunk and rooting through it. He finally stood up with a large piece of a broken mirror, the last present Sirius had ever given him, clutched in his fist. He went back over to his bed and collapsed onto it, cursing his Muggle relatives. Ha, they didn't even deserve to be called his relatives, not with the way they had been treating him ever since he had come back from Hogwarts nearly a month ago.

As soon as they entered the house, his Uncle had taken Hedwig away, telling him that he was to write a letter to his freaky friends every three days and he had better not tell them anything bad about him and his perfectly normal family, as he would be reading the letters before they were sent. He had then locked Harry in his room after beating him to unconsciousness. Every day since, he's been given a long list of chores to do while his Uncle was at work. If the chores were done satisfactorily, which they usually weren't, according to his Uncle, he would be hit.

That's when he had started cutting his arms, trying to get rid of the pain he had been feeling over Sirius' death. He uncurled his fingers and gripped the glass tightly. He brought the glass down on his arm, letting no cry of pain escape him. He had long since stopped feeling the pain.

He sighed and dug the blade in deeper. This time, his arm stung a little as blood dripped from the newest cut. He pulled his sleeve down and let the cut bleed. He threw the glass back into his open trunk, then laid back down on his bed.

He was attempting to fight off sleep when he heard a soft pop near him. He sat up quickly, grabbing his wand. There was no one there, but a thick envelope lay beside him on the bed. Curious, he picked it up, well aware that it could be a Portkey to Voldemort, but he didn't exactly care. Voldemort could walk right into his room that very second and kill him and he wouldn't care. At least he would be able to see his parents and Sirius again.

He examined the envelope closely. His first name was written on the from of the envelope in elegant green script. He wondered why it was addressed to only his first name. Oh well, he thought and opened the envelope. A faint smell of lilies permeated the air as he pulled the parchment out of the envelope. He unfolded it with a feeling as though he wasn't going to like what it said.

My Dearest Harry,

I write this letter to you as I watch you play in your crib. I feel pangs of guilt at the knowledge of what I have done, for seeing you, an exact replica of James, reminds me of all that I have done and how I have deceived everyone.

This letter is be-spelled to appear to you a month before your sixteenth birthday, when you will begin to change. Change into what, you might be wondering. All will be explained shortly. I must start at the beginning, however.

I met James on the Hogwarts Express my first year. He had just set off a number of dung bombs in a compartment full of people and I thought then that he was an arrogant jerk. Our first five years at Hogwarts all James did was act like an arrogant jerk. He made the Quidditch team and walked around with his hair messed up like he'd just gotten off a broomstick and hexed people in the corridors whenever he felt like it.

On the other hand, there was Severus Snape, my first love. He was in the same year as me, but a Slytherin while I was a Gryffindor. He was a pure-blood, like James, only he wasn't an arrogant jerk. When I first met and fell in love with him, he was a quiet and well-manner young man. We were very much in love, but his family found out about our relationship and didn't approve. They told him to stay away from me or they would disown him. He valued his family more than anything, and broke up with me. I later found out that he became a Death Eater. In sixth year, James' attitude improved and I began going out with him. We didn't have the perfect relationship, but his parents did approve of me.

Marrying into a pure-blood family was a good thing for me, a Muggle-born, to do, so I married James Potter.

Our marriage was as normal as it could be. We did have the occasional fight, but our biggest fight did not occur until approximately nine months before your birth. I cannot recall the exact reason for the fight, as it has been nearly two years since it occurred.

I left the house upset with James and headed to a somewhat shady bar in Godric's Hollow, where I knew James would never think to look for me. Imagine my surprise when Severus walked up to me and asked if I was okay. I ended up having a few drinks with him and woke up the next morning in a hotel bed beside him with little memory of what had occurred. We both went our separate ways vowing never to say a word about what had happened between us.

Then, you can imagine my simultaneous joy and horror and finding out that I was pregnant, but not with James' child. I was pregnant with Severus' child, you. I told James that you were his, and began extensive research on charms that would prevent James from ever realizing that you were not his, but his childhood enemy's son.

I was finally given the solution by the Headmaster of Hogwarts, where you probably now attend school, Albus Dumbledore. Blood magic would keep your true heritage a secret until your sixteenth birthday, when the charms would begin to wear off. Using blood was the only way I could keep you concealed. After your birthday, you will gradually change to look like your real father. All of James' features will change to those of Severus'. Shortly after your birth, we discovered that Severus had become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, a secret society founded by Dumbledore to bring about the defeat of Voldemort. He was in constant danger, but I could not tell him about you for fear of James discovering my secret. You may think that this was selfish of me, but had Voldemort known that you were Severus' son, he would have demanded that you be taken from me and raised to learn the Dark Arts. I did not want that life for you. There was also the threat of Severus being found out and killed. If he is still alive, which I doubt, he will also be receiving a letter from me telling him of you. I do not know if he will accept you as his son, the war and Voldemort have probably hardened his heart, but please try and accept him as your father and accept my apologies for the lies I have bestowed upon you.

Your loving mother,

Lily Evans Potter

Harry numbly dropped the letter to his bed. He felt like he was drowning. A rushing sound filled his ears and he felt like he was going to pass out, but that could be blood loss from cutting himself. No, Snape couldn't be his father. It just wasn't possible. His mother and Snape…..together….he couldn't think about that.

Vaguely, he heard the doorbell ring from downstairs and the pounding feet of Dudley going to answer it.

"Mummy, someone's here for Harry!" he heard Dudley yell. Harry heard an even heavier set of feet come down the hallway and stop in front of the door to his room. He heard the jangling of keys and several clicks as the door was unlocked.

His Uncle's head popped around the door and he hissed, "Not a word, boy!" Several minutes later he heard knocking on the door. The Dursleys never knocked so this must be his visitor. It was probably Professor Lupin, who most likely hated him after getting his best friend killed.

"Come in!" he called dully. Harry remained where he was on the bed with the letter lying next to him. His jaw dropped in horror when he saw Snape enter the room. His father.

Snape's POV

He walked to Hogsmeade and Apparated to Privet Drive. He arrived in the middle of a seemingly perfect suburban street. No sign that anything out of the ordinary had ever happened there. No sign of Harry Potter either.

He walked down the street looking for the house bearing the number four. When he found it, he looked at it for several minutes. The house was quite plain, identical to all the others beside it. The car in the driveway was identical to all the others, only a different color. No sign of the bloody boy-who-lived-to-torment-him. He started forward, then stopped as an envelope appeared out of nowhere.

He snatched it out of the air before it fell to the ground. He glanced at it briefly to see his name on the envelope in elegant script. He stuffed it in his pocket and continued forward. He would read the letter later. It might be from……, don't think about Lily. She was dead and nothing would bring her back. He had to stay calm. He was going to face those brilliant green eyes of hers on the body of his childhood enemy.

He stopped and rang the doorbell. He heard pounding feet approach the door and stop. The door opened and he could see a blonde-haired boy roughly the size of a baby whale. Definitely not Potter, thought Snape.

"I'm here to see Potter," said Snape.

"Mummy, someone's here for Harry!" yelled the whale. Snape heard pounding feet upstairs and wondered if it was Potter. A thin woman with an abnormally long neck appeared at the door.

"Come in Mr.………I don't believe we've been given your name." Potter hadn't complained to his relatives about the nasty Potions Master? That was certainly a surprise.

"Snape, " supplied Snape.

"Oh, Mr. Snape. Harry's room is just upstairs." said the woman. She led him upstairs. As he walked up the stairs, he noticed that there weren't any pictures of Potter. That was also a surprise. The woman pointed at a door that had several locks on it, all of them unlocked.

"There's his room," said the woman and walked away. Snape knocked on the door, eyeing the locks with distaste. Why were they keeping him locked up like some wild animal?

He heard a quiet, "Come in," and pushed the door open. He stepped inside the room and saw Potter sitting on his bed, his face ashen and an open letter lying beside him. Potter's eyes widened when he saw who was standing in his room.

"What are you doing here?" asked Harry. Strange, he no longer had the same fire that he had had at Hogwarts.

"I was sent by Dumbledore to ascertain your condition," said Snape, stepping further into the remarkably bare and simple room. He had expected Potter to be living in luxury.

"Well, I'm fine. Now go away and leave me alone," said Potter. Snape didn't think the boy looked fine. Potter was extremely thin, too thin to be healthy. He walked even closer to the boy and was shocked to see that he had several bruises on his face.

"Where did you get those bruises?" asked Snape.

"That's none of your business. Now go away," said the boy.

"I will be informing the Headmaster about those bruises," said Snape. He walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. He went downstairs and let himself out of the house. Something definitely wasn't right in that house and something about Harry reminded him unpleasantly about his own childhood, thought Snape just before he Apparated to Hogsmeade.

He pulled the envelope our of his pocket to look at during his walk back to Hogwarts. He opened the envelope and pulled out a sheet of parchment. The air around him smelled faintly of lilies as he stuffed the envelope back in his pocket. His eyes widened in shock as he began reading the letter.

My Dearest Severus,

I am writing this letter, bespelled to arrive to you at the same time as Harry's letter, in hopes that you are still alive and well. You may be wondering who Harry is, or why you would be receiving a letter from me at the same time as him. Harry, is my son, in case you didn't know already, and I am writing to you about him.

Do you remember that night we spent together at that hotel after my fight with James. The reason I am asking is because James Potter is not Harry's father. You are.

After I learned that I was pregnant, I performed a paternity test, just in case there was a chance that you were the father. After I discovered that you were Harry's father, I realized that it would not be safe for you to know about your son, nor could I tell James of Harry's true parentage.

Knowing this, I performed blood charms on Harry, using James' blood to change all your features to James'. James does not know, nor will he ever know, the truth about Harry.

If both James and I are dead, then please take Harry to live with you.

I know that he is to be placed with my Muggle sister, Petunia, and her family if something were to happen to me, which did, if you are receiving this letter. Petunia and her fiancée both despise magic. I shudder to think what they could do to my precious Harry should they be provoked.

I must now offer my apologies to you for keeping your son from you all this time. Please accept my apologies and accept Harry as your son.

All the best,

Lily Evans Potter

Harry Potter, the bloody Golden Gryffindor, his son? That was the most impossible thing he'd ever heard.

He quickened his pace as he entered Hogwarts and headed to Dumbledore's office to report on what he had discovered about Harno, Potter.

Wait, that wasn't right, the boy wasn't a Potter, he was a Snape. No, that thought was just wrong. Lily had to be wrong, she just had to be. But deep down, he knew Lily was never wrong about anything. She had been just like that annoyingly smart Granger, though not annoying.

He gave the password to the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to Dumbledore's office, Skiving Snackboxes, he could imagine quite well what they were for, and strode up the spiral staircase, not waiting for it to carry him up.

"Come in Severus," said Dumbledore before he had a chance to knock on the door. He opened the door and walked in."Ah, I was not expecting you to return so soon, Severus. Please take a seat." said Dumbledore. Snape sat down in the same chair he had sat in earlier and thrust the letter from Lily at Dumbledore.

"Read this, " he growled. Dumbledore took the letter and began to read it. As his eyes zoomed back and forth over the parchment, the twinkle in his eyes grew more and more bright. Snape put two and two together in his mind, until suddenly it clicked.

"You knew!" yelled Snape incredulously.

"Yes, Lily confided in me shortly before Harry's birth. She needed my help in locating a spell that would conceal Harry's true appearance. I suggested using blood magic. It was the most logical solution at the time. As you know, it was not illegal at the time, though it was made illegal shortly after. I apologize, Severus, for concealing your son from you but that is not the point at the moment. I need you to tell me what happened at the Dursley home." said Dumbledore.Snape began to relate what happened while he was at the boy's home. When he finished talking, Dumbledore was looking grave.

"I need one more favor from you regarding Harry. I would like you to take him to hour family home for the rest of the summer. I believe it would be the safest place for him right now." said Dumbledore.Snape knew he wasn't going to be able to get out of it, so he said that he would. It didn't help him that Harry's situation was so similar to his when he was Harry's age.

"Very good then. Here is a Portkey that will take you directly to Harry's room," said Dumbledore, tapping his letter from Lily. The letter glowed blue for a second and Snape reached out to touch it.

"I must also ask you to teach Harry Occlumency again," said Dumbledore just as his fingers touched the Portkey. He nodded before being jerked away by the Portkey. He arrived in the middle of the boy's room to find him terrified, huddled up against a wall. He didn't think he would be that terrifying to the boy and stepped closer to the boy. He noticed that the boy had a small trickle of blood coming from his head.

"Professor, watch out," choked the boy. Snape quickly spun around and saw a huge man swing a large stick towards him. He jumped out of the way and watched in horror as the stick hit the boy's head with a sickening crack and he dropped to the ground, obviously unconscious. When the large man made as though to hit the boy again, Snape pulled out his wand.

"Stupefy," said Snape and the man dropped to the ground with a loud thud. He rushed over to the boy and noted that his head was bleeding from where he'd been hit by the stick. He muttered a quick charm to slow the bleeding and stood up to find the boy's trunk. He located it lying open near a battered trunk.

He waved his wand over the room and said, "Pack." The boy's things flew from various places throughout the room, including from surprisingly, under his bed. Snape decided he could think about that later. Right now he had to get Harry out of there. Whoa, where did that come from?

Snape pulled the trunk over to Harry, making sure to step on the large man. He sat on Harry's trunk and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder before Summoning the Portkey. Surprisingly, the Portkey didn't take them to his home or the Headmaster's office, but to the hospital wing. When they landed, Snape was quick to catch Harry before he hit the floor or his trunk. He carefully laid Harry on a bed and went to get Madam Pomfrey from her office. He knocked on the door and she came out.

"What do you need, Severus?"

"I don't need anything. It's Harry. His Muggle Uncle hit him with some sort of stick and I have reason to believe this isn't the first time." said Snape. Madam Pomfrey's eyes widened and she bustled about he room, collecting potions while muttering something about bloody Muggles. She went over to where Harry was lying on the bed and began pouring potions down his throat. About ten minutes later, she picked up the empty vials and turned to Snape.

"He should wake up soon," she said and headed back to her office. Snape took one last look at Harry, his son, and strode out of the hospital wing.

Harry's POV

He knew instantly without opening his eyes that he was no longer at Privet Drive. He opened his eyes and found that surprisingly, his glasses were still on his face and that he was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. He pushed himself up and immediately felt dizzy. He leaned against the back on the bed until the dizziness passed.

"Mr. Potter, I see that you are awake. Do you hurt anymore?" asked Madam Pomfrey. Harry shook his head. Other than those several moments of dizziness, he felt fine.

"Good. The Headmaster would like to speak with you." said Madam Pomfrey. Harry got out of bed and headed to Dumbledore's office. When he reached the stone gargoyle that guarded the entrance to Dumbledore's office, he realized that he didn't know the password.

But before he could start naming sweets, the gargoyle opened on its own. Harry shrugged and headed up the staircase.

When he reached the door to the office, it too opened on its own. Harry frowned when he saw that Snape was also in Dumbledore's office. He felt like turning around and leaving rather than face his…….father? No, he could never call Snape that. He forced a smile on his face and walked further into the office.

"Hello Harry. So nice to see you awake," said Dumbledore. "Have a seat." Harry sat down in the chair furthest from Snape.

"I have called you here to discuss your living arrangements for the rest of the summer." said Dumbledore.

"Can't I just stay here at Hogwarts?" asked Harry.

"I'm afraid not. Most of the teachers will be gone this summer," said Dumbledore. Harry wasn't stupid. He knew those teachers would be doing things for the Order. Wait a minute. He'd said most. That could only mean………

"NO!" yelled Harry, jumping to his feet. "I won't stay with him! I don't care if he is my father. I'd rather go back to the Dursleys!"

"Harry, calm down," said Dumbledore.

"No," said Harry, backing towards the door.

"Stop Potter," hissed Snape as he raised his wand. Harry continued towards the door.

"Stupefy!" yelled Snape. Harry ducked the jet of red light and darted out the door just as a second jet of light shot his way.

He ran down the spiral staircase and through numerous hallways. He finally skidded to a halt next to the statue of the one-eyed witch.

Not really thinking about what he was doing, he tapped the hump with his wand and muttered, "Dissendium," then slid down into the passageway. Somehow, he managed to get out of the passage and our of Honeydukes without being spotted.

He headed off down the street, Intent on hiding where Sirius had during his fourth year. He hiked up the steep slope and slipped through the crack in the rocks, unaware that he was being followed…………

Snape's POV

Snape took the Portkey Dumbledore held out to him and followed Harry. He landed in the middle of Hogsmeade and saw Harry heading down the main road of Hogsmeade. He decided to just follow him for now.

As he followed Harry out of Hogsmeade, he wondered why he had felt so….hurt at Harry's vehement protests at having to go to his house. He shook it off and kept his eyes firmly fixed on Harry. They were walking up a steep hill when Harry just……vanished.

He walked up more and discovered a crack in the side of the hill, just big enough for a fairly thin person to slip through. He went through the crack just in time to see Harry fall to the ground.

"Harry!" he yelled, surprised at his worry over Harry.He knelt beside Harry and turned him face-up.

"Harry, wake up." His eyes remained closed.

"Ennervate." No response. Sighing, he picked up Harry and headed back out of the tiny cave. When he reached the entrance, he realized that he wasn't going to be able to get out carrying Harry.

He put Harry back down and was digging through his pockets for something to use as a Portkey when he heard Harry talking. He knelt beside Harry again. His eyes were open but glassy. He didn't appear to be actually seeing anything.

"Sirius," mumbled Harry. He was probably having a nightmare about that stupid mutt. He stood up and began searching his pockets again.

"No, Sirius, don't go," said Harry. Did Harry think he was his godfather? No, that wasn't possible. He found a broken eagle-feather quill and turned it into a Portkey to Hogwarts.

Snape crouched down and touched the feather to Harry's hand. The two of them disappeared in a swirl of colors. They landed in the Hospital Wing and once again, he placed Harry on a bed.There was no need to call Madam Pomfrey, she was already coming out of her office.

"Back so soon?" she asked. Snape grimly pointed to Harry, whose eyes were now closed. She bustled over to him and began waving her wand over his body. She turned back to Snape when she was finished.

"It's just exhaustion this time. The Headmaster told me that you would be taking care of him for the rest of the summer. As you will be in charge of him, I would suggest you keep a close eye on him. I fear he may do something…….drastic." said Madam Pomfrey. Snape knew all too well what she meant. Harry had been hurting himself while at the Dursleys. He made a mental note to put some extra wards on his house for Harry's protection.

"I will definitely be keeping a close watch on him," he assured her.

"Good, and Severus, do be sure he eats well."

Snape nodded to show he had heard her and headed off to his quarters. He needed to pack……….

Harry's POV

Harry woke up, but didn't open his eyes. He wasn't in the cave. He could tell because he was lying on something soft. The cave was anything but soft. He opened his eyes just in time to see a house-elf appear in the room he was in.

"Master Snape says that young Master Snape must eat," said the house-elf.

"Twinkle is setting young Master's breakfast on this table." The house-elf placed a tray on the table next to the bed Harry was laying on.

"Here is young Master's glasses," said the elf before disappearing with a pop. Harry put his glasses on and climbed out of bed. He stood up and surveyed the room he was in. the walls and floor were emerald green. The bed he'd been in was made of mahogany wood, as was a small desk and a wardrobe by a wall.

There was a door next to the wardrobe and another across from the bed. His trunk was situated at the foot of the bed. He headed for the door next to the desk and went through it. Inside was a small bathroom. He looked in the mirror and was surprised to see that his hair looked slightly longer. Or was it because it was flatter?

Bloody hell, he was starting to look like Snape. He shuddered slightly and headed out of the bathroom. He stopped when he saw Snape standing in the middle of the room.

"What were you doing?" asked Snape.

"Looking around," replied Harry.

"Well, if you're done looking around, then eat your breakfast." said Snape and left the room. Harry sat down on the bed next to the table. He pulled the tray towards him, though he had no intention of eating, just making Snape think he had. He picked up the fork and started poking at his food. Several minutes later, he heard the door open.

"Do stop playing with your food, Potter," drawled Snape.

"Whatever," said Harry and set the fork down.

"I have come to inform you of the rules that you will follow while in my house. First of all, you are not to go outside unless accompanied by me. Second, you are not to go into any closed rooms. Do not think that you can run around my house like you do at Hogwarts. Mealtimes will be at seven-thirty, noon, and six. Do not bother my house-elf. You will have an Occlumency lesson at seven-thirty. Do not be late." said Snape and stalked out of the room.

Great, he had to learn Occlumency again. He flopped back down on his bed to think of ways of stopping Snape from getting into his memories. If Snape saw what he had been, there had to be a way to block his mind from Snape. Hmmm.......maybe Snape had a library.......

He grabbed his Invisibility Cloak from his trunk, making sure that the broken mirror was buried in the bottom of his trunk and headed off through the house. He walked down a flight of stairs and soon found himself in front of a set of large double doors. He pushed one of the doors open and found that Snape did have a library. Quite a large one, in fact. He began wandering between the shelves. he soon found that the books were sorted into categories and in alphabetical order. He looked for the O's and quickly found himself holding several books on Occlumency.

He took the books and settled himself in a dark corner of the library. Harry skimmed the table of contents of the first book and found what he was looking for: How to block your mind from unwanted intruders. He flipped to page seventy-three and began reading.

Several paragraphs down, he discovered that his mind didn't have to be completely blank. He could use a memory he didn't mind someone else seeing instead of complete blankness. By focusing on the memory, he could force the person out of his mind. He thought about that and decided he could use a Quidditch match. He didn't care about someone seeing a Quidditch match.

He closed the book and put them back, not thinking he needed to read anymore. He headed back to his room under the cover of his Invisibility Cloak. He walked down the hallway and discovered that he couldn't find the stairs he had come down. He hoped he didn't run into Snape while trying to get back to his room. Of course, he had no such luck. Snape suddenly came out of a door on Harry's right and Harry walked straight into him.

"Shit," whispered Harry and the same time that Snape said, "What the hell?"

Then, "Potter, take off your damned Invisibility Cloak right now," yelled Snape.

"You didn't need to yell," said Harry as he pulled off the cloak.

"I told you not to wander around my house, especially under that damn cloak," said Snape angrily. Harry took a step backwards, away from Snape. The last time he'd made Snape angry, he'd started throwing glass jars at him.

"Go back to your room," said Snape.


"Go now!" yelled Snape. How was he supposed to go back to his room when he didn't know how to get back to it? He turned anyways and walked off, glancing back at Snape every few seconds to make sure he wasn't following him or was going to curse him when he wasn't looking.

Snape was walking in the opposite direction of Harry and didn't stop or turn around, so Harry kept going. He finally found the stairs, and then his room. He wondered why Snape hadn't taken his invisibility Cloak before he was filled with an overwhelming desire to cut himself again. He locked the door to his room. There was a lock? Big surprise there.

He dug the piece of glass out of his trunk and held it to his skin, debating whether or not to do it in his room. He decided doing it in the bathroom would be safer, since he would be able to hear if Snape came in.

He locked the bathroom door behind him and sat down on the cool stone floor. He pressed the blade onto his flesh and dragged it across, creating a fine line of crimson blood, which slowly dripped down his arm and onto the floor. Shit, he couldn't get anything on the floor. Snape would kill him. He jumped up and held his bleeding arm over the sink.

He added another cut to the criss-crosses of fine white scars on his arm and let it bleed into the sink. When the bleeding slowed, Harry cleaned off his arm and pulled the sleeve of his shirt down. He cleaned up the blood and left the bathroom.

Glancing at the clock, he noticed that it was almost seven-thirty. He threw the piece of glass into this trunk and hurried out of the room before realizing that Snape had never said where the lesson was to take place.

He was heading off down the hallway to look for Snape when he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He turned around slowly and saw Snape behind him.

"Potter, follow me," said Snape. Harry followed him down the stairs and into a room near the library. Snape turned around and had his wand out in the blink of an eye.

"Leglimens," he hissed.

Next Chapter: Chapter 2: Return of the Werewolf

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