Author's Notes: Hehe. I was watching Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper the other day and my cousin gave me this idea!
Disclaimer: The author does not own anything in this fic.
Warning: If you're looking for something sensible to read, find something else!
Chapter One - Once a Funny Time
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far, away, two identical (almost) babies were born. Well, actually, it wasn't 'once upon a time,' it was more like, C.E. 55; and the kingdom wasn't so far away. It was in the Orb Union. But since this is kind of like a fairy tale, it seemed appropriate for the writer to write 'once upon a time' and all that crap.
Okay, moving on…
The first baby was named Cagalli Yula Athha. She was born of the Athha family which meant that she was a princess. The King and Queen loved her very, very much and gave her all that she could ever want and need.
"Hey, father," the little princess asked tentatively. She looked up to him with puppy dog eyes.
"Could I have a gun?" she asked sweetly.
The King choked on his coffee and surveyed the princess out of the corner of his eyes. He weighed down the options like a good king. Scenario 1: I refuse and she throws a tantrum. Not very appealing…especially since I'm drinking hot coffee… Scenario 2: I agree and she wreaks havoc around the palace…but she leaves me alone. Okay!
"Of course! Anything for my princess!"
The other baby was named Kira Yamato. He was born to a not-so-average family. His parents tried to give him all that he could ever want and need. But they failed to do so often, because they were poor.
"Mommy?" little Kira asked, his cute little purple eyes blinking. "Can I have a – "
"Um, I'm not sure, Kira," his mother interrupted. Then she turned to the father, "Quick! Bring him inside the house! If he can't see what's going on outside, he won't know what to ask for!"
And little Kira was whisked away into their dark and empty house to brood on the reason why his parents won't let him ask for something to ask for.
Several years had passed and the princess and the pauper grew up to be such fine individuals. Well, fine for their parents' eyes anyway.
Princess Cagalli, with her blonde hair and amber eyes, instantly became a hit with all the other princes in the land. However, she still remained unmarried because all the princes, upon meeting her face-to-face, went home in bandages, promising to never come back.
On the other hand, Kira, who was not so little anymore, was what you may call a certified bishounen. A lot of girls drooled at the mere thought of him. However, he still remained unmarried because he was so poor that he can't even buy himself a backbone to ask for someone's hand in marriage.
One day, the kingdom of Orb became bankrupt.
"This is preposterous!" the King boomed. "It's impossible for all of our resources to just suddenly go kaput!"
His royal bodyguard/adviser/informant didn't even flinch. "But that's exactly what happened, Your Majesty."
While the King stood stock-still in shock with his royal bodyguard/adviser/informant looking at him; they didn't notice the other royal adviser, Rau Le Creuset, snickering in the background.
Success! He thought evilly. My plan to steal all of their treasures worked! Now, all I have to do is to volunteer to share all my treasures with them. Provided that the Princess marries me! And then, I'll be the king! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
He was snapped back to reality when the royal bodyguard/adviser/ - aw, screw it! – when Kisaka tapped him gently. "The King was asking for your opinion regarding Orb's current predicament."
Le Creuset rubbed his chin, pretending to think hard. He then snapped his fingers. "Aha! I have an idea! Why don't we choose a husband for the princess? A rich husband who may be able to share his riches to the kingdom of Orb!"
The King nodded happily. "That's a great idea!" And then his face fell, "But I don't think Cagalli will be too keen on the idea. She has a lot of suitors but for some reason, none of them has asked for her hand in marriage."
Le Creuset brushed away the idea with a wave of his hand. "Nonsense, Your Majesty. Once the princess learns of the situation, I'm sure she'll agree."
"When you put it that way…I think she'll understand," the King agreed. He then popped the question that Le Creuset was waiting for. "But who?"
Le Creuset opened his mouth to answer when Kisaka, who remained silent until now, butted in. "If I may speak, Your Majesty. A young king from a nearby kingdom seeks for himself a wife. He meets all of the requirements: mainly, rich, loaded and wealthy."
"Great!" the king replied. "Send word to him of our proposal." And then he stood up to inform the princess of the plans. Kisaka then bowed and exited. He had someone to talk to. Only Le Creuset was left in the throne room.
He was fuming. How dare that Kisaka foil my plans! Now, I have to make a new one! Blast it! And then he smirked. I have an idea! I'll hire some goons to kidnap the princess. When the princess refuses to meet with the young king, the engagement will be called off! And then, I'll go and rescue the princess and offer to be her rich husband! Wow! Sometimes my intelligence amazes even me!
He cackled evilly. "HAHAHAHAHAHA -cough- HAHAHAHAHAHA...!"
"What! I'm going to be married! To a total stranger!" the princess screamed.
The King rubbed his temples tiredly. "I'm sorry, honey. But we're in dire straits. That was the only thing my trusty adviser suggested."
"Well, if that's the only dumb way he could think of, you should fire him!" Cagalli said angrily. Her father was asking her to marry a total stranger. What if that king turned out to be some DOM! Ugh! Yuck! How gross!
Seeing the repulsed look on his daughter's face, he assured her. "Don't worry. Kisaka told me that he was a young king."
"Well, what if he's young but he turns out to be some ugly-looking weirdo?" Cagalli retorted.
"Cagalli, please," the king begged. "Marry him. For the sake of our kingdom."
"The guy's friggin' advertising for his own wife! That should give you an idea on how he looks like! He must have crooked teeth and coke-bottle glasses!"
"Well, divorce is allowed in our country. Even in his. Please, honey! I'll do anything!" the king pleaded. He even went as low as to clasp his hands and fall on his knees.
Cagalli, not used to seeing her father in such a pathetic state, finally and reluctantly agreed. "Stand up father. Okay, I'll do it. But if I don't like him, you won't live long enough to see my wedding day."
Author's Notes: Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Is it not funny enough? Is it bad? Stupid? Corny? Let me know so I can try to do something about it!