The King of Fighters: Chonshu

Introduction: Another weird fanfiction with Chonshu as a main character! This was done spur of the moment, and don't expect many updates on it as I am currently focusing on other fanfics. Enjoy it, it's more suited towards comedy.

Once upon a time, there were two brothers, and they were twins. The older-

Chonshu: By about ten seconds.

-was named Chonrei. The younger was named Chonshu.

Chonshu: Do we need backstory that's this blatantly obvious?

Hush. In any case, both brothers were part of an ancient evil Chinese family, the Jins. It was said that "their blood was the blood of death".

Chonshu: That's a bit harsh. Sure, there were centuries of torture, murder, homicide, genocide, and other unadulterated acts of violence and evil. But could you really hold it against me?

We'll ignore that.

The brothers Jin were informed by their parents of their heritage:

The Jins' Dad: You were born to rule the world.

Chonrei: We shall fulfill the roles granted to us by destiny, father.

Chonshu: I dunno, father. If we're born into rulership of the earth, how come we don't own it yet?

The Jins' Dad: Enough talk out of you!

And so the brothers Jin set out on their quest to rule the world. With their immortality, the brothers were able to plot their seeds of evil. They managed to gain power among criminal elements, secret organizations, and other evil groups.

Chonshu: Doesn't this seem a little suspicious to you?

Chonrei: Hmm? The Patriots?

Chonshu: Not just them, that Revolver Ocelot guy. He just screams BACKSTAB.

Their immortality was granted by something known as the Scrolls of Immortality, or the Jin Scrolls. The brothers Jin knew that they had to keep the Scrolls safe, as they were constantly being pestered about its secrets. They attempted to send it to some other location, disguised as something else:

Chonrei: So we're going to pretend to be museum curators…

Chonshu: Yes.

Chonrei: And we're going to tell this Krauser guy that the Jin Scrolls are a collection of ancient Chinese poetry…

Chonshu: Uh-huh.

Chonrei: And that it's so valuable that it should be kept in his personal treasury, under lock and key, posted security and everything?

Chonshu: That's what I said, didn't I?

Chonrei: You honestly think he's going to buy this?

Chonshu: Do you have a better idea?

But following the events of Fatal Fury 2, a certain Billy Kane, under orders from a certain Geese Howard (who had somehow found out about the Jin Scrolls- don't ask how, he's frigging Geese Howard), stole the Jin Scrolls as Wolfgang Krauser recovered from his battle with Terry Bogard.

Chonrei: That didn't work at all.

Chonshu: At least I had a plan.

So the brothers Jins decided to hire Ryuji Yamazaki find Geese in Southtown. Unfortunately, Yamazaki ended up shaking down the whole city, and Yamazaki got his ass kicked by Southtown's best, not the least of which was the Lonely Wolves.

Andy: Cough up what you know about these Scrolls!

Yamazaki: (hack cough hack)

Andy: No, man, not the blood!

It was soon found out what exactly the brothers Jin were looking for. Realizing that Geese was in control of something overwhelmingly powerful, all of Southtown- as well as the Jins and other outsiders- went to participate in Geese's own tournament in Real Bout Fatal Fury. Terry Bogard managed to defeat Geese Howard, but the brothers Jin reached the Jin Scrolls before the Lonely Wolf could:

Terry: Crap.

Chonshu: This is it, Chonrei! Hurry and grab it so we can get the hell out of this hellhole!

Chonrei: … (rip)

Chonrei then tore up the Jin Scrolls.

Chonshu: What the- NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Chonrei: Chonshu, we must live our lives out normally. We can't follow in father's footsteps. Our immortality is a curse, and it had to end there.

Chonshu: But… But Chonrei! Wasn't conquest of the world our dream?

Chonrei: It wasn't- that was father's dream, not ours. I've realized over the course of this tournament that we have to find our own path.

Chonshu: I… I guess you're right.

Chonrei: Don't worry, we'll do alright.

Chonshu: I suppose so- I mean, the Jins have accumulated so much cash, and it's finally time for us to spend it! (turns to Terry) (raspberry) Ha! I'm rich and your not! Bum!

And so the brothers Jin left to indulge in their wealth. Or at least, Chonshu did.

Chonshu: Whee! I'm going to Disneyland!!

Chonrei: Oy, vey.

However, both realized that they needed to find purpose in the world. Jin Chonrei soon found it in fighting, becoming a pupil under Tung Fu Rue. Jin Chonshu found it in becoming a champion of justice, training under Kim Kaph Wan. Kind of.

Chonshu: Suck Tengan Ken, bitch!

Kim: Chonshu! Enough!

And so they slowly faded away into history, joining other fighters of the past and finding their own path, so to speak. They never appeared again…

Until now.

The King of Fighters Chonshu

Chapter 1: Oh man, he's at it again

We begin this story in Kim's dojo in Seoul. Chonrei has arrived for the express purpose of visiting his brother.

Chonrei: Hey, Chonshu.

Chonshu: Chonrei, yo!

Chonrei: A piece of advice, Chonshu- don't EVER address me with a "yo" again- you sound ridiculous.

Chonshu: Sorry, I couldn't help myself. How're you doing?

Chonrei: Tung is killing me with work, but overall I'm much better than usual.

Chonshu: That a fact? I'm currently in the process of making this room squeaky clean. (holds up a rag) The job is a courtesy of Master Kim. Needless to say, my day isn't so good so far.

Chonrei: It could be worse.

Chonshu: Meh. Oh, Chonrei, I've been meaning to speak to you about something. Grab that newspaper?

Chonrei: This? reads King of Fighters lacks proper host and organizer. What does this have to do with anything?

Chonshu: Wait up, let me wipe this last floorboard. (as he presses a rag on it, it springs up and smacks him in the face) OW, that smarts.

Chonrei: Ooh… Ouch. That's an omen for something bad.

That would be correct…

Chonshu: Anyways, about the King of Fighters- I'm gonna host it!

Chonrei's jaw drops. He facefaults.

Chonrei: Jin Chonshu, please tell me you're JOKING. Brother, what possessed you to come up with such an inane, ridiculous, stupid, idiotic idea!?!?

Chonshu: What's so bad about it? The Jins have the funds for it.

Chonrei: Why!?

Chonshu: Why not?

Chonrei: Let's think about it. For one, nearly every person that has organized the King of Fighters has been some sort of evil villain, and last time I checked, you weren't one anymore-

Chonshu: Well Chizuru hosted the 1996 tournament-

Chonrei: Which brings me to something else, Chizuru, Rugal, Geese, Krauser, and all those others have all been wounded, harmed, trashed, killed, exploded… What have you, and I don't think that cycle is going to break soon.

Chonshu: Bah, I can take care of myself just fine.

Chonrei: Not when everyone's beating on you, thinking your back to evil.

Chonshu: Argh, my intent isn't evil. I just want to bring the tournament back to what it was before… Just… A fighting tournament! To celebrate the martial arts as it is, rather than someone's tool for world domination! Master Kim'll be proud of that, and I'll make huge wads of cash from the endorsements. As long as I take certain safeguards, what can go wrong?

Chonrei: Sigh… Whatever floats your boat. Just know that I'm not going to be involved with your little game, Chonshu.

Chonshu: Even if it means a rematch with Terry Bogard?

Chonrei: (snnnrk) What?

Chonshu, being the sneaky bastard he was, knew that this would catch Terry's attention.

Chonshu: I'm brilliant.

Chonrei: Who are you talking to?

Chonshu: No-one, forget it.

Chonrei: … Alright. Chonshu, you have my attention.

Chonshu: Right, bro. Remember those safeguards I was talking about? You're it!

Chonrei: What… I… No! Chonshu, I refuse to tail you all over the place just because someone wants to murder the King of Fighters host.

Chonshu: That's a fair thing to say- find someone else that can do it, then.

Chonrei: What do I get in return?

Chonshu: Do you feel like making up a team?

Chonrei: Actually, no… Which is why I'm thinking of changing my mind-

Chonshu: Don't worry about that, bro! I could just make you a Single Entry.

Chonrei: …I'm deal.

Chonshu: That's what I want to hear. There, this cursed room is all done. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to call a few people, you know… Spend other people's money rather than my own.

Chonrei: You sound like Cheng Sinzan when he's being an ornery bastard.

Chonshu: When is he not one? He's a money-grubbing fat waste of space.

Chonrei watches Chonshu cast the rag to the wall and walk away.

Chonrei: This does not bode well, I fear.

A few days later, Chonshu visited a prominent businesswoman whose name was thrown out in the Jin brothers' conversation. She was the latest heir of the Yata clan, famous for being one of the three Sanshu no Jingi who banished Orochi in the 1998 King of Fighters Tournament. Her name was Chizuru Kagura, and she would have the misfortune of meeting with one of the most formerly evil women-

Chonshu: Men.

In the world, Jin Chonshu.

Chizuru: I'm sorry that I was not exactly… Prepared, for your presence, Mr. Jin. Considering I never gave you the benefit of an appointment in the first place.

Chonshu: Right back at you, Mrs. spectacular-looking middle-aged woman.

Chizuru: Flattery gets you nowhere, especially when you're covered in the stench of death.

Chonshu: Hey! That was uncalled for! I took a shower before coming here.

Chizuru: But how did you get past all the guards? You know… All thirty-four floors of them!?

Chonshu: Because I'm just that good.

Actually, he's got friends in high places. Ones of the 'Deus Ex Machina' sort.

Chizuru: My ears must be deceiving me- did you hear that?

Chonshu: Nope. So, Chizzy, baby-

Chizuru: 'Chizzy'? 'Baby'? You sure are bad at introductions.

Chonshu: Oh, come on, I was just trying to be friendly.

Chizuru: Look, is there a point to this?

Chonshu: You might be interested in getting an edge in profits for the next King of Fighters tournament.

Chizuru: … Are you new to the word, 'negotiations'? Because horrible puns are not part of them.

Chonshu: Forget it, the reason I'm here is that I want to invite you to be a sponsor for the King of Fighters.

Chizuru: No thanks, sorry, my hands are clean of the whole affair- Orochi is gone, Ash Crimson is busy rotting somewhere, and the Yata are done with their job. Besides, what do you need the money for? The Jins have been amassing wealth since the beginning of the Shang Dynasty.

Chonshu: Pish-posh, we just need name recognition.

Chizuru: Hold on, 'we'?

Chonshu: Yes, 'we'.

Chizuru: Wouldn't the KoF Committee have preferred to go with another host that's well established? For instance, Adelheid Bernstein, who is also after the position?

Chonshu: Adelheid…? Oh, you mean the she-him with the hot sister?

Chizuru: 'She-him'? (laugh) The pot calling the kettle black.

Brian Battle pops out of a ventilation shaft and lands on Chizuru's desk.

Brian Battler: Oooh, you're gonna need some Aloe Vera cause you just got BURNED!

After the initial shock wears off…

Chizuru: …

Chonshu: … May I?

Chizuru: Go right ahead.

Chonshu: TENGAN KEN!

The coiled blast sends the idiot jock flying out the window.

Chonshu: Whoops! I'll pay for that.

Chizuru: … You know, Mr. Jin… I think I just might help you out with the new tournament.

Chonshu: YES!

Chizuru: The Yata Foundation would just like half of your profits.

Chonshu: Insane. Twenty-five percent.

Chizuru: 33, and no less. Don't bother trying to haggle me out of this one.

Chonshu: 33!? That's ludicrous! Done.

Chizuru: Alright, our lawyers just have to draw up some legal documents…

Chonshu: Oh, that's going to take for-frigging-ever.

Chizuru: You know… Does your Tae Kwon Do master Kim Kaph Wan know of this?

Chonshu: Oh… Well…

Chonshu had neglected to say anything to Kim before leaving Korea…

Chonshu: Yeah. Yeah, he does. cough

At the Kim's Dojo…

Kim: I have a headache… That was a horrible dream…

Mrs. Kim: Don't put any stock in dreams, dear.

Kim: I don't know… That dream told me that Chonshu was doing something very stupid. Then again, I also saw Chang balancing himself over a beach volleyball, Choi doing the can-can, and Chonshu wearing a feather suit flapping around and screaming, 'AFLAC' with the vocal cords of Gilbert Gottfried…

Mrs. Kim: As I said, dear, it's just a dream.

Dong Hwan: Hey dad, I had the same dream, too. 'cept I think Chonshu was wearing a gecko outfit- no wait, was he a Chihuahua?

Kim: Me, on the same page with Dong? This does not bode well.

Dong Hwan: What's that supposed to mean?

Kim: Nothing, Dong. Nothing.

End of Chapter 1.

Author's Note: Another fanfic with an odd premise, heh! As I said before, though, don't expect me to update this one much.