Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The plotline was slightly borrowed from one of Yuu Watase's newer mangas... Zettai something or other, I can't remember....

Return to Sender!

AU -When Haruno Sakura receives a package in the mail, she also receives the biggest shock of her life when she finds out there's a GUY inside of it, determined to win her heart!

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Haruno Sakura

Age: 17

Occupation: Chuunin, Medicinal Division

Eyes: Green

Hair: Pink

Height: 5'5''

Measurements: 32-26-34

Send:....?

"Project Uzumaki, serial number 450."

Authorization: Haruno Natsumi

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One. You've Got Mail.

"Sakura!"

The bearer of the popular and unoriginal name muttered a response that couldn't have been heard, for good reason, by the caller, who was currently a few feet away. By this time, her mother decided she disliked the glares from her daughter enough to stop entering her room to order her to hurry up.

"Sakura!"

More muttering, another swear word, and she was halfway done. The girl pulled on a pink, tight-fitting tee and quickly tied up her long hair while packing her bag using her feet. Multitasking was an essential trait for any ninja, and she happened to be a master of it.

"SAKURA!"

Rolling her eyes, Sakura grabbed her bag and dashed down the stairs at such a speed that her mother stood stunned, her hair lightly blowing behind her from her daughter's pass. She was about to turn around but the lunch bag in her hand was plucked at an equally speedy pace and once again, Sakura left a whirlwind behind as she exited the house.

It was the typical morning; however, a loud thump and a crash caused Mrs. Haruno to start and go running to the door. Outside on the porch, Sakura was draped over a large box at what could only have been a very uncomfortable position. With much effort and grunting, Sakura's mother helped her get off from the box and steadied her while she recovered from the cardboard-induced pain.

"What the hell is that?" Sakura asked, wincing and holding onto her side. Her mother shrugged, deciding to ignore her daughter's language for the time being. The package was human-sized, tightly shut with industrial-strength tape and their address was typed onto it.

"It's for you, Sakura," her mother inducted, smiling slightly. "I suggest you open it immediately."

"With what?" she exclaimed, taking a step back as if the package was prepared to attack her. "A machete?!"

Mrs. Haruno shrugged and turned to re-enter her home. "Sakura, I don't want you back inside this home until that package is opened."

Before Sakura could even open her mouth to protest the unjust edict, the door was slammed in her face, leaving a gust of wind to toy with her pink hair. Turning around, Sakura stared at the package for another few minutes before kicking it. The package barely rustled with the impact and she sighed. Reluctantly, she reached into her pocket to retrieve a kunai and drove it deep into the package. With what little strength she possessed, she slid her kunai down and severed the material expertly.

"Okay, let's see what's inside of you..." she muttered, pulling back the heavy cardboard. The sun peaked above the homes, lighting up the innards of the box. That was the precise moment that Sakura drew herself back and screamed.

"Mom!" she shrieked, her eyes unwillingly focused on the contents of the box. "MOM!"

There was no response from her mother. Instead, several neighbors poked their heads out their windows and ordered Sakura to shut her mouth after seeing that she was not being attacked or in a state of death.

Certainly alone, Sakura attempted to look again inside of the package and not fall due to her shaking legs. Inside lay a boy, probably around her own age with wild golden blond hair, light skin and wearing a tight blue shirt with orange cargo pants. His eyes were closed and arms limply at his sides and she feared he was dead.

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut and inwardly counted to ten, forcing herself to get a grip. After all, not only was she a ninja, but a medical one as well. It was unethical to stand on her porch screaming about a potentially dead body; if Tsunade-sama saw her, she would never hear the end of it. Not to mention Sasuke, who usually passed by her house on the way to school. She had to prove that she wasn't weak -she would examine the body and if he really was dead, she would calmly go to the neighbors (since her mother was obviously not going to open the door) and call the police.

Bending down, she careened her head to the side to enable her to discover whether or not there was a heartbeat. Her ears picked up the faint sound of deep breathing and she sighed in relief.

"Who the hell would send me a boy in the mail?!" she demanded in a harsh whisper, glaring at the slumbering body. She grabbed the boy's shoulder and began to shake him roughly. "Hey! Hey, are you okay? Wake up!"

The boy's eyes fluttered open, exposing a pair of oceanic blue orbs. For a moment Sakura was at a loss for words, having never seen such beauteous eyes before. However, her momentary stupor was overcome by her curiosity and slight rage.

"Who are--"

Sakura was quickly cut off by the boy leaping from the box and knocking her over in a tight hug. She attempted to fight him off, occasionally telling him to "Get off!" and crying out "What the hell are you doing?" but her words had no affect on him. After a few minutes she fell limp, deciding that eventually the strange boy would let go of her.

"Have you hugged me enough yet?" she asked, wondering whether her words would be interpreted by him. She had almost expected no reply; therefore, she was startled when he spoke, his voice hardly deep and more irritatingly high-pitched.

"Sakura-chan, I'll have all of my life to hug you. After all, you're my fiancee!"

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a/n: Sorry the first chapter is so short. This is more or less an introduction. Deeper characterization will be explored in the next chapter and throughout the rest of the story. I'm kinda toying around with this idea, so I'll see the response and decide whether or not I should continue, since I do have a couple other fics to finish.