TEASER

FADE IN

INT. WOLFRAM & HART--WHITE ROOM

The entire frame is pure white (it's an aerial view) until a blue dot comes into view near the center. The camera zooms and rotates slowly to reveal it is a head. The camera pans downward to reveal…

The face of ILLYRIA. Her head is bent and she is obviously concentrating very hard. There is a scuffling noise and her eyes dart to the side, however the rest of her does not move. After a moment's pause she slowly raises her head, eyes still focused to the side and her head jerks towards the direction she was looking.

The camera pulls back to reveal her cat-suited torso. Still slowly, but deliberately, she's still paying attention to wherever she was looking, she raises a hand to inspect it. First it's palm-side up, completely normal. Then she turns it over to reveal the blue markings on the back. Then the markings flicker and disappear, then reappear, then disappear again. She reaches up, the shot follows her path as she grasps a chunk of hair that is plain and brown and pulls it in front of her nose to inspect. Then it turns blue again. As she speaks, she drops the hair and the camera focuses on her face.

ILLYRIA

These illusions displease me.

FEMALE VOICE (o.s.)

Dear, dear. In the garden without her gloves…mummy won't like this at all.

Illyria's eyes widen and she turns sharply around. The camera turns with her and we see the beautifully wicked DRUSILLA. She's wearing an old, lacy dark (black, gray, purple) dress.

DRUSILLA (cont'd)

Of course, with a little bit of sugar one can always change the records. Isn't that right, poppet?

Camera pans back so that both women are in profile facing each other.

ILLYRIA

I do not understand.

Drusilla smiles and shrugs.

DRUSILLA

(Overly cheerful)

It's a dream, precious.

She shakes her head almost sadly and tilts it.

DRUSILLA (cont'd)

You're not meant to understand.

ILLYRIA

Dream?

DRUSILLA

Yes.

(Conspiratorial whisper)

It's something humans do you know.

Illyria frowns at this.

ILLYRIA

(Insulted)

I do not dream. I am not human.

Drusilla looks at her for a moment then begins to giggle.

DRUSILLA

No, you're not.

(Becomes mock cheerful again)

But that lovely puppet of yours is and now all her dreadful little human habits are yours. I imagine you'll be worried about matching your socks next.

ILLYRIA

(Now she's mad)

I am Illyria! God-king of the Primordium, greatest and most ancient of the Ancient Ones! I am the source of all destruction and chaos!

DRUSILLA

(As if she's talking to a 3 year old. A really slow 3 year old)

Yes, you were, weren't you?

(Becoming very serious)

But no more. While the king was out looking for the cider the jester placed the crown on his head and was named emperor, hmm?

CUT TO:

Illyria's face. She is obviously struggling with her emotions, trying to remain impassive while her eyes show the hurt at that statement. She shakes herself out of it and stares at Dru.

ILLYRIA

(Disgusted)

Who are you? (Read: Who do you think you are?)

Drusilla laughs again. She's been waiting for this question.

DRUSILLA

Me? Why, I'm the Queen of Shiva. Then there's the Prince of Wales and the King of England.

She smiles broadly and spreads her hands.

DRUSILLA (cont'd)

We're all coming to the tea party.

She swings her head down and around as she goes into game face.

DRUSILLA (cont'd cont'd)

And it will be such fun. Don't you think, poppet?

Illyria screams.

FLASH--CUT TO:

INT. ANNE'S SHELTER (Much nicer than last time we were here)--Early morning

Illyria's eyes snap open, mouth in same position. Her head is on a pillow that has little Pooh Bears on it, obviously not her selection. Her eyes slide from side to side, then she closes her mouth slowly. Still slowly (the girl's a turtle) she turns and rises, revealing her naked back. She walks forward across the room until she reaches a window. In one motion, her catsuit materializes and she opens the window to look out onto the street. It's not a super nice neighborhood obviously, some graffiti, but it's still nice...Anne's been doing some work here. Camera follows her line of vision so we can see the 'East Hills Teen Shelter' sign. The camera circles around to her face. She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply then sighs. We hear heavy footsteps and then television sounds. She opens her eyes.

ILLYRIA

I detest this civilization.

FADE TO BLACK

END TEASER

TROIKA: REVISED

1.1 GATHER

STARRING:

Amy Acker as Illyria

Tom Lenk as Andrew Wells

Nicholas Brendon as Xander

Juliet Landau as Drusilla

GUEST STARRING:

Stephanie Romanov as Lilah Morgan

Julia Lee as Anne Steele

(Uncast) as Marie Lewis

CREATED, CONCEPTIONALIZED AND WRITTEN BY: Ms. Selly

ACT ONE

FADE IN

INT. TRUCK STOP/DINER--Afternoon

We pan down the line of big, burly, scary truckers sitting at the counter until we reach the very out-of-place and nervous ANDREW. He's wearing a T-shirt that reads (obviously an iron-on) 'I Survived the Apocalypses' with 'Apocalypses' crossed out with red marker and 'Apocalypsi' hand-written underneath. He's got a pen in his hand and is working on something set on the counter.

ANDREW (Voice Over)

Dear Friends.

He frowns and scribbles something out.

Compatriots.

Scribbling again.

Fellow heroes.

He smiles and nods, then continues.

As much as it grieves me to write this, I have left the operation we worked so hard to found after the workings of our great White Witch endowed so many young women with the might of the Slayer. I have struggled valiantly to work as part of the team…however, my true talent lies in working alone.

Scribble.

Work as a rogue agent.

Scribble scribble.

Solo heroism. So, I have to leave you. I am considering returning to my fair land of

(you know that corny Spanish-Andrew accent)

Mexico.

(normal voice)

I know my evil-fighting powers have often overshadowed those of other's here, and for that I am deeply sorry. Now, I must bid you adieu.

He pauses.

Andrew.

He reads over his letter and sighs dramatically. The trucker next to him gives him a dirty look and Andrew scoots as far away as possible. He looks back at his letter and begins to sniffle. The trucker next to him gives him an 'oh, please' look, gets up and walks away. Now tears are flowing freely down Andrew's face. He gives one shuddering gasp and puts his head down onto the counter, shoulders heaving.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ANNE'S SHELTER--Mid-afternoon

Illyria is sitting on the bed, completely still and impassive. We hear a knock on the door and the camera does a reverse angle to show the door there. Illyria shakes her head slightly then stands. She morphs as she turns around (this is my spin-off, I can blow the entire season budget on the premiere if I want to). As completely normal looking FRED she opens the door. It's our favorite shelter runner, ANNE.

ANNE

Hey, Fred. Hope I'm not waking you.

Fred laughs.

FRED

I'm not that much of a bum, Anne. I woke up five whole minutes ago.

Both laugh.

FRED (cont'd)

Anyway, if you want to wake me up you're welcome to. I mean, it's not like I don't mega-owe you.

ANNE

(embarrassed)

Don't bother with it, Fred. Any friend of Gunn's is a friend of mine. Besides, it's not like I could turn you out…

She looks around her jokingly.

ANNE (cont'd)

Last time I checked, this is a shelter.

FRED

I know but I still feel kind of weird just sponging off you like this.

ANNE

For the last time, don't worry about it. With that huge earthquake and everything…was Wolfram and Hart really demolished?

FRED

(a little bit sad)

It was. Totally destroyed. There wasn't even anything left to salvage.

ANNE

(just a tad smug)

Oh.

(realizes her smugness and goes into sympathetic mode)

That really is too bad. Speaking of, you haven't seen Gunn around lately? I try to call him but it says his cell is out of service.

FRED

Sorry, I haven't. There was a lot of chaos happening with the whole Wolfram and Hart-becomes-big-pile-of-rubble ordeal. I'm sure he's fine.

Anne nods distractedly. There's a very awkward moment of silence. Luckily, someone else sticks their head through the door. It's a fairly scrawny teenage girl who we'll call SHELTER TEEN 1.

SHELTER TEEN 1

Don't mean to bother you guys but Anne, we got a situation downstairs.

ANNE

(worried)

What kind of situation, Kendall?

Okay, now her name is KENDALL.

KENDALL

You better just come.

With a worried glance at Fred, Anne turns and heads after Kendall. After a beat, Fred follows.

GO TO:

The girls walking down the stairs, in the order we mentioned above. There's a group of teens gathered, but when Anne walks in they all scatter. In the center we see a fairly grungy looking boy…we'll call him ERIC.

ERIC

Hey Annie. Long time no see.

ANNE

(tense)

Eric. What are you doing here?

ERIC

Just thought I'd drop by, see some old friends, make some new ones.

His eyes focus on Fred.

ERIC (cont'd)

She don't look homeless.

(to Fred)

Hey sugar, what're you doing in this dive?

Fred does not grace him with a reply.

ANNE

She's a friend.

ERIC

Right.

ANNE

You shouldn't be here, Eric. I told you not to come back.

ERIC

But hey, did I listen? You can't tell me what to do Annie.

He flashes a knife. Anne is jolted but she stands her ground.

ANNE

Eric, you know there are no weapons inside the center. You have to leave.

ERIC

Cool your jets. I think I like it here. There's food, fun…

He gives Fred a very inappropriate smile.

ERIC (cont'd)

Chicks.

ANNE

Leave, Eric.

ERIC

Make me.

Anne starts to go forward but Fred steps in front of her. Close-up on her eyes and you can see them ice over. She's sort of a hybrid now…so we'll call her FRILLYRIA

FRILLYRIA

(Her best 'I AM the God-king voice)

Get out of here.

Eric is obviously twitchy…sort of frozen to the spot with the fear of Frillyria in his heart.

FRILLYRIA (cont'd)

Now.

With a very unmanly yelp, Eric races out past her. Frillyria does not budge. There's murmuring from the other teens in the shelter. Through reverse angle, we can see Anne as she steps forward tentatively.

ANNE

Fred?

Nothing.

ANNE (cont'd)

(a little louder)

Fred?

Refocus on Frillyria who blinks and is immediately Fred again. She turns around.

FRED

Sorry, Annie. I just…I couldn't stand that boy being so rude to you. After everything you've done. It just made me kind of mad.

Fred laughs nervously.

FRED (cont'd)

I guess I went a bit overboard.

ANNE

(still freaked)

Yeah. Just a bit.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CITY STREET--NIGHT

A young man is walking down the street. He's got an armload of books and is talking on his cell-phone. His name is PETER.

PETER

I'm completely serious. I was totally at the library.

(pause…he's listening to something the other person is saying)

I was! I've got the books to prove it.

(pause…he laughs)

Yeah, I know, only me.

(pause)

Well, I just left.

(pause)

Yeah, they closed it on me again.

(pause)

I should be home in a few minutes. You want me to pick anything up?

(pause)

I was just asking, sheesh.

He continues indistinctly as we go into a new POV. It's walking behind him, very quietly. Two hands come into view and grab Peter's shoulders.

Camera swings upward and we can hear Peter screaming as we focus on the sky. Also some scuttling. Then there's a thump. We close in on the cell-phone…Peter's bloody hand mostly outside the frame.

WOMAN'S VOICE (from phone)

Peter? Peter? Peter!

FADE TO BLACK

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

INT. MARIE'S OFFICE--UNKNOWN

Screen is black. We pan downwards into a room. It's very nicely decorated, all dark or muted colors. No windows.

WOMAN (o.s.)

I mean no disrespect when I say this of course, but this is a bad plan.

We are now focused on an attractive Asian woman sitting at the desk. She has one of those dolphin things (you know, the pendulum ones) swinging back and forth. She is dressed all in red and her hands are folded beneath her chin, revealing long red nails. Her name is MARIE LEWIS. She remains unfazed as the other woman speaks.

WOMAN (o.s.)

I don't like this plan, and I'll tell you why.

Two hands are slammed down onto the desk, upsetting the dolphin thing. We pan up the arms to reveal LILAH MORGAN, wearing an extremely fashionable scarf you-know-where.

LILAH

The part where we ask Illyria to work for us again.

MARIE

Now Lilah, I can understand your…trepidation.

LILAH

Trepidation? This is more than trepidation! You saw what she did to those Circle members.

She falters, looks down to compose herself and looks back up.

LILAH (cont'd)

I had enough fun dying the first time. Doing it again is not particularly high on my to-do list.

MARIE

She can't kill you, Lilah. You are still dead.

LILAH

But I'm sentient. Which means I can feel pain. So no problem there. Oh wait. What if she decides to TORTURE me?!

Marie has obviously had enough. She shuffles her papers.

MARIE

Ms. Morgan I know that when you were a living member of Wolfram & Hart you were accustomed to…subservience from your coworkers.

LILAH

I-

MARIE

(cutting her off)

But I am the head of Special Projects for the Underworld Branch. You will speak to Illyria and attempt to recruit her to our firm. And that is final.

FADE OUT

INT-EAST HILLS TEEN CENTER--AFTERNOON

Fred is sitting cross-legged on one of the sofas in the living room folding laundry. Everyone is acting nonchalant…but it's obvious everyone's giving her a wide berth. We hear a knock in the background. Fred ignores it.

ANNE (o.s.)

Illyria? There's no one here by that name.

Eyes going wide, she vaults off the sofa, leaping over stuff. She slams into the hallway wall panting.

FRED

That (pant) that (pant) that's me.

Anne gives her a weird look but steps back. We finally see the messenger. Really big demon dude…the same species as Boone probably (see Blood Money) his name is MESSENGER. He gives her a very doubtful once-over.

MESSENGER

Oh?

FRED

(about half-way Illyria)

Yes.

MESSENGER

I don't think so, missy.

Ooh, not a good plan. Icy eyes…

FRILLYRIA

In my day a creature such as yourself would have happily had it's innards ripped out and tied around it's neck rather than use that tone of voice with me.

MESSENGER

(he believes her now)

Here you are.

He hands her an important looking envelope. Close-up on it and we can see the return address is for Wolfram & Hart. And he's gone. Ooh, spooky. Anne is giving her a look.

ANNE

Illyria?

FRED

Oh, well, umm, you see…I'm an actress.

Anne raises her eyebrows.

ANNE

(her middle name is doubt)

An actress?

FRED
(getting into it)

Yes. I am. And…Illyria is my stage name. And that was, umm, one of my fellow actors. Come to deliver me a message. He likes to make people quote old lines.

(Into severe babble mode)

He's wacky. Wacky. Ha. Strange word. Shouldn't say it when you're buying tacos or you could have a massacre on your hands. Right?

ANNE

(you're scary Fred)

Right. Wacky.

There's a beat as the two look at each other.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LILAH'S OFFICE--UNKNOWN

Lilah is sitting at her desk doing work. The office is in the same style as Marie's but plainer. She reaches for her coffee mug and brings it up to her mouth. There's a crash. She looks up, startled, sets her mug down and slowly pulls an ax out from one of her desk drawers.

CUT TO:

The doorway as a very big scary demon falls through. We have a shot of him on the floor before a booted foot steps onto his back. He groans. We pan up to reveal Illyria in full blue, cat-suited glory.

ILLYRIA

I received your message.

She kicks the demon, hard, and he shudders and stops moving. It's unclear if he's dead or merely unconscious. We return to Lilah looking very worried about this…but she almost instantly smoothes it over with her business smile.

LILAH

That's certainly good news. Demons can be…unreliable messengers at times.

ILLYRIA

Your messenger insulted me. I will kill him later.

LILAH

(Oh my god, what have I gotten into)

Good. Good, he, he could use a good killing.

ILLYRIA

Why did you wish to speak with me?

LILAH

Have a seat.

Illyria gives her a look then does her jerky walk over there. She sits, without taking her eyes off Lilah.

LILAH (cont'd)

Now, we understand you have had…misunderstandings with some of our staff in the past.

ILLRYIA

Hamilton attempted to kill me.

LILAH

Well…yes, but-

ILLYRIA

Unfortunately, Angel killed him before I was able to. I thought that most impolite of him.

LILAH

Speaking of Angel-

ILLYRIA

You were about to say something. Continue.

LILAH

All right, fine. We want to hire you.

ILLYRIA

Hire?

LILAH

Come back, return, work for us, be an employee.

ILLYRIA

I understand the meaning of 'hire', human.

LILAH

Of course you do. I'm sure Angel taught you a lot…

ILLYRIA

Wesley was my teacher.

LILAH

(not interested)

Was he?

(back to business)

Anyway, we would like to hire you. If you agree, the rewards could be very great.

ILLYRIA

I have no interest in material objects.

LILAH

What about adventure? The chance to fight again, real good fights. I know you must miss the fighting. I'm sure you and Angel often sparred.

ILLYRIA

(matter-of-fact)

Spike was my fighting partner.

Lilah opens her mouth to say something, but Illyria continues.

ILLYRIA (cont'd)

I do not know Angel's location. You may cease your pathetic attempts to trick me into revealing information I do not know.

LILAH
(mildly embarrassed)

Sorry. But still, fighting. And travel. Lots of travel.

ILLYRIA

This 'job' of which you speak…what is it?

LILAH

(fanfare, please)

Inspector.

Illyria does not respond. Lilah gives her a look then continues.

LILAH (cont'd)

Okay, you know that Wolfram & Hart has offices all over the world, right?

ILLYRIA

Correct.

LILAH

But we're not limited to here. We have spread throughout a large number of dimensions. Naturally, we need a way to make sure everyone in all those dimensions is doing their job. So, we hire Inspectors. Loyal operatives with the intelligence to judge and the strength to discipline.

(a beat)

That's what it says in the handbook, anyway.

ILLYRIA

And this is what you wish me to become? A mere assistant, policing unimportant things?

LILAH

(nervous)

Well-

ILLYRIA

I will think about it.

Illyria rises and exits, stepping on top of the demon. Lilah holds her position for another moment before slumping and sighing.

LILAH

God, if Marie wasn't dead I'd kill her. What is she thinking?

FADE TO BLACK

END ACT TWO

ACT THREE

FADE IN

EXT. CITY STREET-AFTERNOON

Fred walks down the sunny street, plenty of extras passing by her. The crowd thins so it's just her walking until…

MALE VOICE (o.s.)

Fred?!

She turns in surprise to see our buddy Andrew hurrying up behind her, looking aghast.

FRED

Oh, hi. Andrew, right?

ANDREW

That's me. What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be working?

FRED

Well-

ANDREW

(Oh so wise)

Playing hooky, hmm?

(normal)

Don't worry Wonder Woman, the secret dies with me.

Fred laughs.

FRED

Thanks for the sentiment, Andrew, but I'm not skipping work. The big W & H got destroyed in a huge earthquake.

ANDREW

An earthquake, hmm? Was it an earthquake or an "earthquake".

She laughs again and shakes her head.

FRED

I don't really know, I wasn't in the office when it happened. But when it comes to Wolfram & Hart, I wouldn't rule out the mystical in a paper cut. You just never know what's going to be cursed. Pencils, elevators

(she gets pensive)

ancient sarcophagi.

She sits, staring off for a few seconds. Andrew waves his hand in front of her face.

ANDREW

Hello? Houston to Fred, do you copy? Should I send up the Bat Signal?

She snaps out of it suddenly.

FRED

What?

ANDREW

Nothing.

FRED

Oh, well…you wanna go grab a cup of coffee or something? We can catch up without catching up everyone who walks past.

ANDREW

(Reluctant)

Well…

FRED

My treat.

ANDREW

Great!

CUT TO:

INT. COFFEE SHOP--AFTERNOON

Andrew sits at a table by the window. He stares outside, lost in thought. Then, two mugs are set down on the table. One is very black coffee, one seems to consist entirely of whipped cream. We pull back as Fred sits down and takes a long drink from the black coffee.

FRED

So, what are you doing in L.A.? I thought that you were working with Willow and her friends.

ANDREW

I was, but I decided I could do more good working on my own.

FRED

Oh. That's nice.

ANDREW

What about you? I would think you'd want to go hang out with your parents. What with your job smushed and all.

FRED

They're actually on vacation. Besides, I like L.A. I'm trying to find some work here. I've been helping out at a local teen center. The girl who runs it…I think she's from Sunnydale actually. Her name's Anne.

ANDREW

Doesn't ring a bell.

FRED

But she's changed her name. Umm…twice. Lily…and…something with a 'c'. Kind of French sounding.

ANDREW

Chantarelle?

FRED

That's it! You met her?

ANDREW

Well…we, ah, we sort of dated.

Fred laughs.

FRED

Wow. It really is a small world after all.

ANDREW

(embarrassed)

Just like a couple times. All she ever wanted to do was talk about vampires.

Fred stops laughing and she gets a little chilly.

FRED

Vampires?

ANDREW

Yeah, and not like, real vampires. Like Anne Rice vampires. She was always talking about how they were so cool and so misunderstood and how much she'd love to be one.

Fred stares into her coffee, thinking hard. Andrew gets uncomfortable. Has he said something he shouldn't have?

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CITY STREET--NIGHT

Andrew walks along the street. It's pretty run-down but not totally trashy. He looks around nervously. He doesn't want anything to eat him. Suddenly he spins around, stake at the ready. Nothing. Shaking his head he turns back and hurries down the road.

Switch to the same alternate POV as with Peter. Closer and closer, the hands until…

With a shrill battle cry, Andrew whips around and we get our first look at the monster. It's very similar to a normal vampire. However, it has long claws and it's eyes are dark blue, and it has blue streaks on it's cheeks. It hisses at him and with a shriek, Andrew takes off running.

The thing is close behind him and he darts around lampposts, etc. He gets to a rather decrepit looking building and hurtles in.

We have an aerial shot of him running up flights of stairs, panting. He gets to his apartment, shoves the key in the lock and slams the door behind him. He leans against the door for a few beats to catch his breath before locking the deadbolt and hurrying into the apartment.

It's not very nice, but it's not so bad. He's got a very old television with rabbit ears, a shelf full of dusty out demony books with various figurines. He goes to the telephone and pulls a slip of paper out of his pocket, dialing quickly. We flip shots between Andrew and Anne.

ANNE

East Hills Teen Center, may I help you?

ANDREW

I need to talk to Fred. I need Fred.

ANNE

Sorry…she's not here right now. Who's calling?

ANDREW

Not there?! When she gets back, tell her Andrew called, I need her to come to my apartment, she has the address.

ANNE

Andrew?

Andrew hangs up the phone. He's in a panic now. Fred isn't there, so what is he going to do? He surveys the apartment and bingo! He runs to the bookshelf and yanks out a book. He flips through pages, running his fingers along the pages. He finds what he's looking for.

ANDREW

(sort of chanting, reassuring himself)

Summoning. Do a summoning.

He runs into the kitchen and digs through the various drawers until he finds what he's looking for. Close-up: it's a photo of Xander, pre-Caleb.

He returns and grabs his panpipes off the bookcase. He sets the photo in a clay bowl and sits down next to it. He begins to play his panpipes.

FLASH--CUT TO:

Footage from 'The Wish'. Xander going vamp.

FLASH--CUT TO:

The final Bizarro Sunnydale sequence (with everybody getting staked). We see Buffy pull up her stake and just before she stakes Vamp Xander…ala 'Doppelgangland'…he disappears.

FLASH--CUT TO:

INT. ANDREW'S APARTMENT--NIGHT

The vampire XANDER, glowing purple, falls onto the floor with a thump. Andrew drops his panpipes and scrambles over.

ANDREW

Xander! Thank goodness!

Xander is looking around, totally weirded out. He turns and looks at Andrew.

ANDREW

I was so scared but now you're here and everything will be fine, just fine.

XANDER

What's going on?

ANDREW

I summoned you! I wasn't sure it would work, I usually summon demons but it did work! You're here!

XANDER

You brought me here?

ANDREW

(getting a little weirded himself)

Well…yeah.

Xander vamps and Andrew squeals.

XANDER

Then allow me to show my appreciation.

He starts to advance on him but then the door comes flying in.

BLACK

END ACT THREE

ACT FOUR

FADE IN

Both Andrew and Xander turn to look. And standing in the doorway is…Frillyria!

FRILLYRIA

What's happening here?

Andrew takes this opportunity to run past Xander and latch onto Frillyria's arm.

ANDREW

Fred! Something's wrong with Xander! He's a vampire!

XANDER

Of course I'm a vampire, dumbass.

ANDREW

Hey!

FRILLYRIA

Silence!

Both boys snap their mouths shut. Frillyria regards them for a few beats then directs her attention to Andrew.

FRILLYRIA

Anne gave me your message. What is it that you need?

ANDREW

(he sort of forgot about that)

Oh right! There was this thing that was stalking me and it looked kind of like a vampire, but kind of not. It had, like, blue streaks and it's eyes were blue and it had these huge claws!

Frillyria twitches a tiny bit, but gets over it.

FRILLYRIA

Why did you assume I could aid you?

ANDREW

Well…you did work for Wolfram & Hart…

XANDER

Wolfram & Hart?

Frillyria's head jerks to look at him. He remembers the 'silence' rule and sort of hangs his head.

FRILLYRIA

Continue, half-breed. What do you know of the Wolf, Ram and Hart?

XANDER

Well, they're major players. The Master was interested in appeasing them. And he doesn't take orders from nobody.

He narrows his eyes at Frillyria and sniffs.

XANDER (cont'd)

What are you, anyway?

ANDREW

What are you talking about? She's human.

XANDER

The body is human. But the tasty surprise inside…

He shakes his head and laughs. Andrew gives Frillyria his most terrified look of the night. Frillyria considers for a few beats, then morphs.

ILLYRIA

I am Illyria, God-king of the Primordium, greatest and most ancient of the Ancient Ones. I am the source of destruction and chaos. Cower before me!

They do. Surprisingly, Andrew gets up his nerve first. But it's not much of a nerve.

ANDREW

(please-don't-snap-my-spine)

Umm…have you…always been Illyria?

ILLYRIA

I have.

He hangs his head slightly, but she's got more to say.

ILLYRIA (cont'd)

Winifred Burkle however, is the shell in which I am imprisoned.

ANDREW

You mean…Fred's still in there?

ILLYRIA

No. Her soul was destroyed in the fire of my resurrection. The shell still retains her memories. I have access to them.

ANDREW

(hushed)

You killed Fred?

ILLYRIA

I hold no regard for the life of an insignificant mortal such as Winifred Burkle. This is the shell my Qual H'Xan provided for me, and thusly this is the shell I inhabit.

ANDREW

Oh.

Awkward silence. Xander begins inching towards the door.

XANDER

Well, since you two obviously have history, so I'll just pop out and grab a bite to-

Illyria grabs him. He looks at her hopefully then his face falls.

XANDER

Damn it.

Illyria 'escorts' him back to the couch and shoves him down onto it.

ILLYRIA

Stay.

She turns back to Andrew.

ILLYRIA (cont'd)

I will aid you in your battle against the L'a Zure

ANDREW

You know what it's called? So you've fought things like it before.

ILLYRIA

Fought? No.

(pause)

I created it.

FLASH--CUT TO:

INT. ILLYRIA'S KINGDOM (See 'Shells')--Unknown

It looks basically the same as last time we were here, except one big difference. The hall is filled- filled -with the vampire things-L'a Zure. They all wear foot-soldiery outfits. We start at the base of Illyria and pan up until we get the whole ooky glory of the god-king (refer to images from 'A Hole in the World'). There is no dialogue, only hissing and spitting gurgley demon noises. Subtitles are shown below.

ILLYRIA

You rose out of the muck, a disgusting inferior race, not worthy to gaze upon my magnificence. But you have proven yourselves strong and vicious, and shall be rewarded. I will allow you to exist, vile creatures, and you shall serve me in my legions of doom! Follow me, L'a Zure!

Cut down to the masses which erupt in cheer and pump their fists (not unlike the army of Turok-han in 'Chosen')

FLASH--CUT TO:

INT. EAST HILLS TEEN CENTER--Late night

We pan across the empty and dark commons room. We take in the silence for a few seconds until there's pounding on the door. A light goes on and Anne, dressed in some kind of flowered robe emerges.

ANNE

Fred?

She walks to the door.

ANNE (cont'd)

Is that you-

She opens the door and as she looks up, the camera swivels behind her so we see a L'a Zure filling up the doorway.

ANNE (cont'd)
(terrified)

Fred.

It growls and starts to move forward, but it suddenly disappears from the door as Illyria flies into frame kicking it hard. She stares at it and glances at Anne. The two stare at each other for a few beats.

ANNE

Fr-

Illyria looks to the side, then shoves her backwards and leaps to fight. The camera moves outside so we can see Illyria and the L'a Zure circling each other. They commence to fight. It's very spectacular, lots of breaking things (I'm not a fight choreographer. I hire people to do that kind of thing). We swivel away from them to watch Anne rising and, dumbstruck, staring at the fighters. Xander and Andrew-who's panting very hard-run onto the scene. Xander looks at Illyria.

XANDER

Damn, that chick's tough.

He licks his lips and tilts his head.

XANDER (cont'd)

I wonder how she'd taste…

Andrew gives him a horrified look from his crouching position and Xander shrugs.

XANDER (cont'd)

What? It's what I do.

Andrew just shakes his head in disbelief. Anne stares at him.

ANNE

Andrew?

Andrew looks up at her and he too starts to stare.

ANDREW

Chantarelle?

ANNE

Oh, it's Anne now. How've you been?

ANDREW

Good. You?

ANNE

Fine. Does everyone else see the blue haired girl and that weirdo vampire fighting over there?

ANDREW

Yeah.

ANNE

Good. I was afraid it might just be me.

She looks at Xander.

ANNE (cont'd)

Do I know you?

Xander gives her an appraising once-over and gives her a very predatory smile. He starts to come closer to her.

XANDER

I don't think so, but we really should get to know each other. It's the friendly thing to do.

Andrew snaps out of his little daze and whacks Xander.

ANDREW

Cut that out!

XANDER

What? I was just trying to be

He leers at Anne and licks his lips.

XANDER (cont'd)

friendly.

Anne watches him.

ANNE

You're really pale.

XANDER

I don't get much sun.

ANNE

You wouldn't happen to be a vampire, would you?

XANDER

Why? Does it turn you on?

Anne gives him a disgusted look, her question answered. She turns her attention back to Illyria and the L'a Zure. So does the camera. We pan over there just in time to see a couple more blows, then Illyria tears it's head off. Instead of exploding like normal vampires, it slowly crumbles until it's a fine blue powder on the ground. We focus on it until it blows away. We then pan up to Illyria who is staring at the ground in her spacey, almost melancholy way. Through reverse angle, we see Anne step forward.

ANNE

Fred?

Refocus on Illyria. She blinks.

ILLYRIA

No. I am not Winifred Burkle.

Anne looks down then, with a sort of suspicious gleam in her eyes, looks back up.

ANNE

Illyria?

Illyria turns slowly and stares at her for a few moments.

ILLYRIA

No. I am not Illyria, not the god-king.

She brings up one of her hands, palm side up and flips it over so we see the blue marks. Déjà vu from the teaser.

ILLYRIA

I am not the shell. I am not the spirit. I am…something. Everything. Nothing.

Pan upwards for a semi-aerial shot were we can see all the characters in one shot. Music plays and the rest of the sound and dialogue is gone. Anne steps forward, and Illyria takes a step backwards. Illyria then turns and runs out of the frame.

FLASH--CUT TO:

ILLYRIA

(v.o.)

Not the shell.

Anne, holding out her hand as if to stop Illyria, looking shocked.

FLASH--CUT TO:

ILLYRIA

(v.o.)

Not the spirit.

Andrew and Vamp Xander watching, Andrew with fear and Xander with vague curiosity.

FLASH--CUT TO:

Illyria running. She closes her eyes and ducks her head, but keeps running. As she runs, she morphs back into Fred. Once the morph is complete, she stops, sinks to her knees and starts to sob. We rotate and pull out (opposite as in the teaser) until we can see the whole city. Then we pan up for a shot of the starry sky.

ILLYRIA

(v.o.)

Nothing?

FADE TO BLACK

END ACT FOUR

END 'Gather' PILOT EPISODE: 'TROIKA: REVISED'

Author's Note: This is my baby, and I hoped you enjoyed it! If anyone would like to help out, I'd love to make a full series. I need writers, idea folks, and even people who can beta or just listen to me ramble. Review please!