Warning: …Some major Neji OOC
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
You might want to read the prequel to this story, 'Neji Over-Angsts', you could still understand this is you haven't read that one to some extent, but, whatever.
Neji Over-Angsts Some More
Ch1: Depressing Poetry
This has just been one God-awful day.
Seriously, it is possibly even worse than the day my father died.
...And if Sasuke can read my thoughts, um... forget that I thought that last thought.
SO ANYWAYS, I was leaning against the railing of my favorite angsting bridge (I say I go there to angst, but I really go there to think about where to eat tomorrow). I'm staring blankly at the water, but from the side, it looks like I'm furrowing my brows in deep angst mode. There's a cage of white doves behind me, ready to be let go at anytime by me, if anyone so happens to walk past me.
In other words, I was in full angst/symbolic rage and sadness mode at the time.
And Uchiha comes and RUINS IT ALL.
He thinks he's ju-ust so great, all because his family and everybody and everything dear to him was destroyed by his brother; the only person he ever loved, admired, and looked up to!!
I would have chewed him out right then and there, but I had my image to protect. The 'Strong, Silent Type' is one of the hardest images to maintain, you know! There's plenty of times when I just want to yell to Lee, 'Shuddup!!' and smack him in the kisser, but I withhold my random urges of violence because of my image.
Well, Sasuke, oh-mighty-'King of Angst', you had better watch that brooding gaze of yours, because I shall overthrow you as Supreme Angst Overlord!!
...And here is where I would laugh in an evil and/or slightly crazed manner, but, of course, Gaara owns that shtick...
---The Next Day
I hear my alarm clock ringing exactly at 6:00 a.m. I know this because I was already woke up, an hour before. Why didn't I turn it off before it rang, then? Because shut up.
And what exactly was I doing for that full hour before (cough-evil-cough) Hiashi and Hinata and the rest of the Main House stumble out of their king size feather beds into the kitchen, where I, we, the Branch house have to cook them pancakes and waffles and bacon and eggs and we ourselves get nothing but gruel and crumbs?!
I'm sure you forgot the question throughout that entirely too long interrogative, so I'll ask me that question again in the guise of you in shortened form; Why was I up so early?
Why, to think about new, more exciting ways to angst, of course!
...Stop looking at me like that.
And what have I come up with?
Yes. Poetry. By Neji. Neji who is me. DEPRESSING poetry.
...I mean... damn... you all...
---A Few Hours Later
So I'm sitting in front of my brand new laptop (If you steal it, I will kill you, you don't want to know what kind of murde- I mean, things... I had to do to get it...), and a blank notepad document is on my screen.
Curse you infernal blinking cursor! Curse you and your... BLINKING!!
...Okay, where should I start?
...Hm... Sad people often refer to the color black... I should put that somewhere...
OOH! And I could make some sort of simile about death being really... not... cool...
...EMPTINESS!! Angsty people write about emptiness, right?!
WHOO!! I am on a roll!
---A Half-Hour Later
Okay, here's what I have:
'I feel sad.
The darkness is very hard to see in...
...Even with my Byakugan.
There is emptiness and shadows inside me...
It's like death.
Death, which swallows you and eats you and digests you in it's stomach,
And spits you out again for some reason.
There is much pain also.
Pain like someone poking you with...
...Was that good?
I think I personified death as some sort of crocodile very nicely.
I hit the print button on the computer screen and sit back with my hands behind my head, eating a candy cigar.
Nice job, Neji.
---An Hour Later
...Okay... How am I supposed to get this thing published...?
Without any financial backing, I can never become King of Angst!!
...Damn that last surviving Uchiha, therefore getting every other Uchiha's fortunes!!
...Sigh... So I'm walking around Konoha Square aimlessly, poem in hand when something hits me.
Literally, hits me. Smack in the face.
...Curse that blind spot, also...
I picked up the offending piece of paper, looked at it, and nearly shouted, 'Eureka!', which of course, had I actually shouted that, would have made my angsting status go down 14 points.
It was a flyer for a depressing poetry contest!!
With this, I shall beat Uchiha ONCE AND FOR ALL.
(Did I ever fight him before? I don't remember... Someone go back in the manga and check for me please...)
---The Day of the Poetry Contest
"Welcome, fellow angsters, to the 12th annual Depressing Poetry Contest!!"
Okay, I may have exaggerated how the judge said that a bit. In actuality, he just kind of mumbled it into the microphone, and used fewer exclamation marks.
I, of course, was wearing my angsting beatnik costume. Beret and all. (Why I have this outfit, I have no idea). I almost considered bringing a set of bongos to play as I read, but I decided that snapping my fingers would be just as effective.
I was sitting at a small coffee table sipping a cafe latte when they announced the first contestant.
"UCHIHA SASUKE," the judge mumbled.
I spit my cafe latte out and hit the guy in front of me.
Well, Sasuke, you want to play rough? Well, I shall out-angst you. I'll out-angst you all right... I'LL OUT-ANGST YOU ALL!!
-end ch 1-
…Gasp! Who will win this battle of the angst?! Find out next time on: 'Randal McSiloh: Police Detective Fireman Superman'.
Number of times 'Angst' or any form of the word was used in the story: 19 times.
Should I continue...? I don't know if I should...