Homer had a friend named Bob
Who wrote another epic poem,
A tale of such unequaled woe
For ages it had stayed unknown.
"Platocretes" played the central part,
The hero with the golden heart.
Instead of Zeus, he served the Lord;
Instead of myth, he read God's word.
And Homer all met up one day
In May, and Homer didn't like Platocretes
Not one bit, or so they say.
So Homer wrote an awful tale,
Had our hero eaten by a whale
That Odysseus was wont to hunt
Like Ahab in a Greekish funk.
Platocretes met up with Jonah
'Cause both were in the same old mess.
They learned to use the whale's sonar
And so elude Odysseus.
Our whale-ees gathered round and sat;
Our heroes came to have a chat.
Jonah asked, "How'd you get here?
Ya run away? Ya drink some beer?"
Platocretes just shook his head,
He waved away the argument,
But Jonah pressed again and said,
"You must have angered God a bit."
"I know that I've upheld God's truth,
I know I've kept his ah - achooo!"
Platocretes, why do you stutter?
Are you allergic to whale blubber?
"'Choo! What reason does God have
For letting evil fall on men?
Perhaps He wishes us to learn,
To realize, strengthen, turn from sin?
Perhaps there is a greater plan.
Through pain we see God's loving hand,
So in my suff'ring, I praise the Lord."
With hearts like lead, burnt as by sun,
The two men got onto their knees;
Both understood the Lord had won.
Odysseus kept on his quest
From west to east and east to west,
He looked for deeds of which to sing,
But did not find the greatest thing.
Platocretes, on the other hand,
Searched for God and did not bend.
And though he struggled for a while,
He gained a blessing in the end.
And all this happened just because
Homer had a friend named Bob.