I Wish I Was Never Born

Summary: A series of random people, from Harry Potter, that wished that they were never born. Starting off with Harry Potter, and his Guardian Angel. What will life be like?

Part Four: Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

Professor Albus Dumbledore was having a bad day. He found out, even though he had been eating them for years, that he was allergic to Sherbet Lemon Drops.

While trying to light his fireplace from his desk, he caught Fawkes on fire, and he had to have his rebirthing early. Way early.

Albus Dumbledore was feeling horrible. He had hives. He was laying down in his bed, in a special enclosed area inside the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was watching over him closely.

Word was spreading quickly around Hogwarts that Dumbledore was finally dying.

"I wish I was never born." Dumbledore said miserably. Dumbledore slowly drifted off to sleep.

Dumbledore's eyes snapped open, or at least he thought they did. Everywhere he looked was pitch black. There was no color whatsoever. Then, all of a sudden a bright spotlight turned on.

"You're dead Albus." Someone said, and then an extreme cackle erupted out of nowhere.

Voldemort appeared in the spotlight. He was dressed in all red, with crow black wings. Falling from his wings were feathers.

"Why are you're feathers falling off?" Dumbledore asked.

Remember Albus Dumbledore is not afraid of Lord Voldemort, or any other Dark Lord.

"It's just to help me look better." Voldemort spat, before grabbing Dumbledore's hand and pulling him into the air.

Even though in the other chapters everyone got to go nice and slow through the changing of dimensions, Voldemort rushed through everything. Dumbledore didn't get to see his previous memories, or the gooey room…or whatever.

Up till now, every Guardian Angel, excluding Ron with Hermione, dropped their person. But Voldemort had to hold onto Dumbledore's hand, for they were in space.

"What are we doing here?" Dumbledore asked.

"Watch, and listen as I explain." Voldemort said, in a clearly bored tone of voice. "What you are going to see is what happens when you weren't born. Don't be surprised by what you see. As you can tell, we're in space, you dimwitted fool, and I would clearly like to get back to what I was doing, but the G A C or Guardian Angel Committee said I had to work tonight, because tomorrow I have to have the day off for the big golfing tournament"

"You play golf?" Dumbledore asked.

"Just watch!"

Dumbledore turned his head, and he was face to face with the planet Earth. He heard something like a pin drop, and then a second later, Earth just blew up.

With a big boom…

Very big boom…


It was once a nice little blue rock, but it turned yellow. From there it cracked, and stuff, like the magma and the core, burst out. There was a big BOOM and it shattered. Rock flew this way and that. Whatever was left of Earth quickly floated into the Sun, and then a black hole replaced Earth. (Goes against Science…we know. It never happens that quickly.)

Dumbledore presently floated in amazement, totally surprised. Voldemort was laughing hysterically.

Voldemort suddenly let go of Dumbledore's hand as he began laughing, grabbing his sides.

Dumbledore rapidly began zooming towards the sun.

Voldemort stopped laughing. "Crap! I'm going to get fired! Wish you were born now!"


Dumbledore woke up; Madam Pomfrey was standing over him. "I have good news!"

Albus Dumbledore sat up. The weird dream he had worsened his day, and any good news was good news.

"You aren't allergic to Sherbet Lemon Drops!" She exclaimed, handing him a large bag of lemon drops. "You're allergic to the bologna you had for breakfast this morning." She said, giving him a weird look that said, 'Why you're eating bologna for breakfast I'm not sure'. "Also, some students brought you various amounts of hot chocolate and socks. Woolen socks that look like miniature bladders, but they're cute."

Madam Pomfrey left Dumbledore, and Dumbledore grinned. His hives were gone, his students loved him, and he had hot chocolate and woolen socks! Dumbledore was really, really happy!

The End…I Think

BB/N: This is the weirdest Dumbledore fanfic ever created to man.

Maybe we should go see a doctor or something…Do you think so Megumi?

MO/N: Maybe…I think we might be just sane enough not to go. Lets see…that was short, not counting the A/N's this chapter was 666 words. (Hermione made the socks if you couldn't tell. 666 is really bad...)

Next is Hagrid

We can't wait to type this. (So much enthusiasm)