By Tara.B Amy
This is a piece I wrote by randomly taking lyrics out of randomly chosen songs from my randomly chosen favourite albums. The idea came from my best friend, but I don't think that I'll do that ever again. It didn't really work and the story got a mind of its own. It doesn't really fit with the lyrics. That's where I got the lyrics from: Within Temptation "Mother Earth"; Linking Park "Meteora"; Within Temptation "Silent Force"; Nightwish "Once". Neither those albums nor Yu-Gi-Oh! belong to me, so don't sue.
Warning: This story is rated R for a reason. And it's complicated. But also quite simple.
He told the tale so many times
About a dream not meant to be
"If you really are in love with someone, you just know it." The old man laughed heartily and patted Yugi on the back in an affectionate manner. The boy gasped and stepped back, which got by unnoticed, though.
"Look inside yourself and ask following questions: Do I want to be with this person? Is this person worth everything to me? Do I have the urge to let everything drop just to spend a little bit time with them? Then you should know it, really."
Yugi nodded and wordlessly left the game shop, heaving a sigh. He felt his grandfather's questioning stare in his back, but ignored it. He didn't feel like answering to anyone now. Not to his grandfather, not to himself and not to... no, not even to Yami.
He opened the door to his bedroom slowly and looked into the dark room carefully, his eyes flashing to the right and left hastily. It seemed like no one was here, but somehow Yugi knew better, sudden fear making him aware of the presence of someone very familiar. He flinched back, wanting to slam the door close.
It was too late.
Tension is building inside
A hand wrapped itself around his arm like a snake, yanking him forward and inside the room. He had no time to react to the impact of feelings suddenly hunting through his head. Feelings of joy, of longing. He knew they were poison, a tool to control him. Yet he couldn't flee them, nor ignore them. What they were, he didn't know. Were they his own? They couldn't be. They felt so wrong.
The door fell shut with a final clatter behind him without anyone having touched it and the hand on his arm left. He stood alone in the darkness of his room, shivering in fear and something he tried hard to deny, the poison shaking him like an old leaf on a tree by the wind. He wanted to turn and run but wasn't able to, chained down by an invisible force.
"You're back." A ghostly voice whispered to him, sending chills through his body. "Where have you been?"
"I... I – I just..." Yugi tried to escape the piercing eyes he couldn't find in the shadows, but they didn't let go of him for one moment.
"Don't go away again." The darkness shifted closer to him, encircling him, embracing him, pulling him deeper into its dark cave, where finally soft arms slid around him and where an even softer mouth told him that there was no need to agree or disagree, that the darkness already had him back and wouldn't let him go anywhere.
Yugi knew those lips kissing him like they were his own. He knew them better than he knew anything, their texture, the passion of which they spoke when claiming him for their possession. He had never wanted to be a possession, but somehow those lips had stolen him away. He would never cease to fight against his bindings, though, his hands coming up to push the warm body of his captor away from him. It had never worked. It didn't work now. The touch of the lips stayed, their caressing movement seducing him, the tongue nudging his, demanding an answer.
Yami always waited for an answer. He never went on without it. Yugi didn't know why and they would be standing here like this for hours, which they had done already a few times before, until Yugi had grown tired and much too frustrated. Until he had given up. And that was also why he knew those lips so well. That's why he had memorised every detail of Yami's mouth, memorised every trick Yami used to get him to grant the answer.
Yugi didn't want to do it and Yami knew it. But what he wanted he got. He was stubborn, he was patient. He liked this game of chasing his prey. Yugi knew his tactic of wearing him out until he couldn't hold back anymore, knew it too well, but he couldn't do anything against it. Yami only wanted one thing, which Yugi really couldn't understand. He wanted him, little Yugi. In moments of irony he thought, maybe Yami hadn't really looked at him in daylight, only having pulled him under his blanket of darkness and never once giving his looks a glance. Or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe he needed the shadows so he didn't have to see him. But that wouldn't make sense, either. Then why would he bother to touch him at all?
Come into my world
See through my eyes
Yami pulled back for a moment, allowing them both to breathe in fresh air. He was taking his time to whisper delicate kisses onto his parted lips, one word spoken quietly.
Yugi blinked through the darkness, unused to this aspect of Yami's seduction. It usually was just the touch of lips, just the silence between them. Yami never had said anything in-between. He didn't talk much anyway; there never had been anything to talk about between them besides Yami's possessiveness. But never while he tried to lure him into returning the kiss.
Before he could react to that new experience his lips were sealed again for a short, passionate moment. Then Yami pulled back again. Yugi was surprised and worried. Something was definitely not right. Not normal.
"Someone has touched you." A growl, the darkness tightening around them, the arms holding him closer. "I can smell their scent on you."
"But...", Yugi stuttered, now exactly knowing what was up with Yami. Anzu's grandma had died yesterday and she had cried and clung to him, searching for a bit of comfort. He had hugged her, of course. What else could he have done to help his friend?
"Who has touched you?" Angry eyes burning into him through the shadows.
"Anzu." He couldn't help but say it. He couldn't lie to Yami.
"How could she dare touching what is mine?" Furious energy made the air around them swirl, but Yugi knew Yami well enough to not be afraid now. He was best to calm down by a casual, relaxed stance on his side. It brought the balance back. There was no need for fear. If he was nervous, Yami would also get nervous. And that he didn't want.
"She didn't do anything." Yugi tried to shrug nonchalantly, to make the defense of his friend less obvious, but the tension around them only grew. He cursed his nervousness. He knew he couldn't allow himself to be nervous, he just couldn't fight it. Sometimes he wished to have more control over his emotions.
"She touched you." Yami hissed, slowly leaning down to him until their cheeks touched. As he spoke up again, voice a mere breeze on his skin, lips touched his earlobe ever so slightly. "She's still all over you, I can smell her everywhere." Two hands gripped his arms. "On your shoulders." They slid up until they lay on his shoulders. "On you neck." One hand wandered up his throat, tangling in his hair. "Just everywhere. Don't tell me she didn't do anything at all. She certainly never did that before. And she shouldn't do that ever again, because I don't like it one bit."
"And if she does?", Yugi dared to ask, knowing it was wrong to put oil to the fire, but he was curious as to how far Yami was willing to go. The bruising kiss came unexpected, familiar tongue parting his lips and invading his mouth.
Had asking this question been wrong? He finally gave in to the strong wish to submit to the demands, this time more out of the fear to enrage the other even more than out of tiredness. The answer Yami had longed for was granted, Yugi responding to the kiss gently, soothing away the anger on the warm lips.
His step forward was done. He knew it. They both knew it. Yami always took that as some sort of permission to take the kissing onto another level, to go further. This time was no difference.
He was pulled forward by two strong hands at his waist and against the inviting body of the other boy. Somehow he couldn't find it in him to reject Yami at this point of the seduction. He never could. He didn't want to and he hated that feeling, because it couldn't be real. He never could have such a feeling of want and need. It couldn't be natural to yearn for something so wrong. And how could Yami...? Why did he...?
"Why?" The breathless question was thrown into the silence of the room, directed at no one in particular, but nevertheless Yami halted in motion completely. He didn't say anything to that, only his stillness telling him to go on, telling him to explain. "Why are you doing this even when I push you away every time? Don't you feel ashamed? Why are you doing this?!"
"I don't feel ashamed. Why would I?" The question was obviously rhetorical, Yami's voice staying matter of fact. "I want it and you want it."
"I... I want it?!" Yugi blinked in astonishment and disbelief.
"You love me and I love you." For Yami, it seemed, everything was said with that, hungry lips searching for and finding his to give to him a heated kiss so passionate it made him almost forget the words spoken not five seconds ago.
Yami thought he... loved him?!You love me and I love you I love you
Yami loved him?! Against the wall of doubt a storm of unknown and unwanted feelings clashed, making him dizzy, his legs going weak under him. Yami's arms held him up, carrying his weight easily.Look inside yourself and ask following questions: Do I want to be with this person? Is this person worth everything to me? Do I have the urge to let everything drop just to spend a little bit time with them?
"I can't be in love with you!" Yugi struggled, searching for his inner strength, which had got lost with the other's words. "Do I want to be with you? No! Are you everything to me? No! Do I have the urge to let everything drop just to spend a little time with you?! No!! I do not love you!! Now let me go!!"
Yugi had started yelling, fighting against the weakness inside of him. The darkness fled from his anger, bringing a save distance between them. Yami didn't budge, though, just staggering back two steps, facing the ire in the air around them. Thus he stood in the dim light of the room, no shadows covering him, no darkness shielding him from Yugi's eyes. So for the first time their eyes locked. For the first time since they had met Yami wasn't hidden under the deep blackness.
Yugi blinked, gaze fixed on the taller boy, fully taking in what he had wished to see for so long, curious eyes raking over everything he had been feeling endlessly, but never had seen. Every curve of that body he knew so well, he knew how it was to touch it, could easily imagine how it would be to let his hand glide over the soft velvet of the shirt Yami wore...
"If you wouldn't want to be with me, then why would you keep me here?"
Yami's question shook him out of his thoughts. He looked down to the floor, staring at the carpet, not knowing how to answer to that. Yes, it was right. He kept the other here. But he didn't do it against his will! He didn't! Did he?
"And if I wouldn't be everything to you, why would you hide me from the world?" Yami's face was stony, red eyes burning into him like liquid fire. "Why aren't you willing to share me with anyone else?"
Yugi opened his mouth to defend himself, wanted to deny everything that was said, but his voice betrayed him, no sound leaving his throat. He couldn't lie to Yami.
"And why do the teachers phone in every few days to talk to your grandfather about your grades? Wouldn't that be, because you spend every little bit of free time here in your room with me?"
"You don't allow me to go away!! How could I have...?" Yugi was silenced by a gentle finger touching his lips.
"Why do you always come back?"
"Because..." Yugi stared at Yami with wide eyes, realising what he had been doing throughout the last days and weeks. "...because..." He had gone to Yami, then had run away, had cried his eyes out and then... he had gone back. And never had he once thought about not doing it. Never had he considered sending Yami away. Not once. "Why?"
"Because you want to." A gentle smile graced Yami's lips. Yugi couldn't tear his eyes away from it, entranced by the warmth it built up in his stomach. He had never known how sweet such a smile could be.
"I can't want it!" Yugi shook his head, eyes still fixed on Yami's lips, shocked as they pulled into a small frown, yet he couldn't stop himself from voicing his thoughts. "It's wrong! You are... you're a demon! You bring darkness!"
For a moment silence lay upon them, Yami's eyes widening in surprise.
"I'm not a demon." The taller boy turned around to look at the shadows dancing behind him. "And this is not my darkness. It's yours."
Drown without inhalingWithin, the dark holds hard
"My... my...?!", Yugi stuttered, also gazing at the shadows, feeling like being in trance.
"It's your fear reacting to mine, materialising itself as darkness, hiding us away from each other and the world." Red eyes flashed back to him, taking him in. "My fear is to lose you whenever you run away. Your fear is to accept your true feelings. It is up to you to overcome your shadows."
"What I feel is fake!" Yugi nervously pulled at the sleeves of his shirt. "It's all wrong. Someone else put those things into my head! They control me; they always make me do things I can't really understand! I'm going insane, Yami! I..."
Yami tilted his head to the side, looking at him with sad eyes. The shadows licked at his legs, slowly approaching them.
"Why do you think the feelings are wrong?" The question was nothing more than a whisper. "Can it be wrong to love someone?"
"I don't love you!" Yugi fisted his hands in the rims of the sleeves he was still tugging at, confusion and desperation clearly visible on his features. "Because if that was to be true, I would have loved you from the very beginning! And that isn't possible! You just appeared and I didn't even see you once before now! How could I have fallen in love with a faceless person?! There has to be some sort of control over that..."
"Would you have let me leave if I had asked you for your permission?"
Yugi froze, as did the shadows, which had gripped Yami's arms by now, winded around them like vipers.
"Would you let me leave if I asked you to now?"
Yugi wanted to say 'yes'. He really wanted to. What reason had he to hold the other back? But again there were these feelings. Pain at the thought of Yami leaving. Possessiveness. He wanted Yami to stay, to stay and be only with him, never with someone else. But that couldn't be his own feelings. He never had felt something similar to this. He wanted to just say 'yes'.
"No." He was always as honest as he could be when it came to Yami.
Satisfaction shone in the other's red eyes, a grin slowly breaking the frown. "Why?"
The shadows let go of Yami's arms, their movements growing weak. Yugi followed them with his eyes, thinking hard of how to explain what he felt.
"Why don't you want Anzu to touch me?" Their eyes met, Yami's expression getting serious, red rubies darkening.
"Because you are mine and I won't share you with anyone else."
"Then we both hate to share, though I wouldn't go as far as to say you are mine." Yugi smiled softly, even if he couldn't quite belief that it was he who had said those words.
"I love you, Yugi."
This time Yami didn't need to do much to get Yugi to respond to his kiss. Maybe understanding and accepting his emotions was nothing Yugi could do from one minute to the other, but he surely began to realise... he slowly began to realise that the real shadow hanging over him and Yami had been his own fear. This fear he had to overcome now.
He wanted to know what these feelings were. What could have enough power to just set aside the own will? Could this affection be so strong? This 'love'? Was it possible that the things he felt were real? His own deep feelings?
They both didn't notice as the darkness vanished into nothingness, sunlight falling into the room through the open window, a cool breeze stroking through their hair.
"If Anzu dares to touch you again, I'll personally destroy her clothes closet!"
Well, that was it. The end is boring, I know. My first idea to the lyrics had been really, really bad, though. I don't think I would have written that. It certainly would have ended in pain. But because I'm a happy-end-freak, I couldn't cope with that and came up with something different. I'm still not sure if I like the whole thing. It's kinda creepy.