A/N: It was a dark and stormy night at the brink of 2004. Well, actually it probably were a few weeks during that year and some of them might have been sunny too. In any case that was when I decided it was finally time to have a go at the epic piece of work that is Harry Potter. Admittedly I was never completely obsessed with the series but still, two one-shots were the least I had to feed the voices in my head with after reading five books in a row. Now, almost two years later, the fandom has dared to speak up again and wants to claim a place in my mind as well as in my writing schedule. Neither has been achieved yet but still I decided that it might be a good idea to put both one-shots into a single story (collection) which may or may not be expanded in the future. The title was taken from the original summary of the first shot which read 'The slighty silly, slightly altered version of PoA's chapter The Boggart in the Wardrobe'. No major changes were made to the texts in order not to spoil a perfect memory. And that's all there is to say. Enjoy!

Harry Potter and the Scrolls of Slightly Silly Stories
First Scroll: The Chamber of Worse Secrets

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Harry's stare was blank and fixed on nothing in particular. Most certainly he wasn't the only student feeling uncomfortable with the situation.

Noticing this, Professor Lupin patted Harry's back and said; "Don't worry, kids. Professor Snape gave me permission to use his room for today's lesson."

An awkward murmur went through the class but Lupin just smiled reassuringly and proceeded with his lecture. "You see, what we will find in Professor Snape's wardrobe is-"

"The corpse of a student!", whispered Ron and Harry laughed silently.

"- a thing called Boggart, to you probably known as shape-shifter. Boggarts like to hide in cupboards, desks and such, lurking for their next victim. They might seem vicious at first but can be easily defeated if you know how to do it. Yes, Hermione?"

Hermione, who hadn't had the chance to show off her knowledge for at least ten minutes now raised her hand eagerly. "They can take the shape of what they think frightens us most!"

Ron rolled his eyes. Professor Lupin smiled. "They do indeed. Now, how can we use this to our advantage?"

Silence. Harry looked at Hermione who shrugged briefly and quickly turned her head the other way.

"Boggarts dissolve themselves if you laugh at them."

"B-but how could I possibly laugh at my worst fear?", asked Neville timidly.

"A good thing to ask, Neville", said Lupin and turned to the pupil. "Why don't you come here and we'll find out?"

Greatly regretting his question, Neville stepped forward and looked around, seeming even paler than before.

"The trick is to combine the thing we dread most with something that'll make us laugh at it. For example, how could I make a horrible spider less threatening?"

Ron, having thought about this in advance, blurted out: "By taking away its legs!"

"Good idea, Ron!", said Lupin approvingly. "So, you just had to think of a spider without legs and laugh at it once you see it. Sounds easy enough, doesn't it?"

Neville nodded hesitantly, already dreading the question that was to come.

"And what's your biggest fear, Neville?"

All fell silent. Neville looked up to Lupin pleadingly but the professor was showing no reaction save an encouraging smile.

At last, Neville managed to speak. "P-P-P Professor Snape"

Some students smiled, some nodded in agreement.

"I see", grinned Lupin and put his hand on the doorknob of said professor's wardrobe. "Now when I open this door the boggart will come out, looking exactly like … Professor Snape. What you have to do before is think hard of him. Think hard of Snape and think hard of something that'll make him more ridiculous than threatening. Did you understand that?"

Neville stared at Lupin blankly.

"This is a matter of the mind and requires an awful lot of concentration so don't worry if it doesn't work, because only very few manage to get it right at their first try. Ready anyway?"

Neville gazed around but nodded bravely after an encouraging look from Potter and friends.

"Three … two … one-"

But before Lupin could say go the wardrobe opened automatically and out stepped a life-sized Professor Snape, complete with make-up and a tight, red dress.

Neville quickly jumped back and the rest of the class stared in awe, knowing that Neville wasn't necessarily the student to get things right at the first try.

But the Snape-shaped drag boggart truly was a sight which was not to fear but to laugh at. Or at least most of the class though so until Lupin's praises of Neville were interrupted by said boggart extending a hand and muttering: "Oh, Professor. I didn't expect you and your class to be here so soon."

End Scroll.

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(insert completely innocent whistle here) Ah, SoSSS is definitely the best Harry Potter abbreviation ever. Just thought that had to be added. Opinions, anyone?