A/N: 12/31/04 was the original publication date of the second one-shot. It's based on a scene in CoS and no terrific quantity of spoilers is to be expected. For the sake of nostalgia I took the libery of including the 2004 summary plus appendix from back then at the end of the chapter. I don't know why anyone would care but I did so anyway. And that's that, so good read to you all!

Harry Potter and the Scrolls of Slightly Silly Stories
Second Scroll: House Elf Upgrade

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Harry saw her first when she was eagerly running after a tall, blond man, carrying all sorts of bags and packets. Judging by her appearance she had to be around 16 years old, had black hair and dark blue eyes. He had never seen her before and she was certainly not a student of Hogwarts. But assuming she was a Muggle...

Because one thing was for sure; The man she kept following all around was none other than Lucius Malfoy, father of Harry's arch enemy Draco Malfoy. And he would never tolerate a Muggle near him, not all the time, Harry was certain of that.

Eager to know more about the strange girl who by now kept showing up at Hogwarts regularly, Harry decided to wait for her after Quidditch practice.

"Wait, wait, where are you going?", Harry panted, managing to grab her by the shoulder just before she disappeared around a corner.

"Sorry, I can't-",

"I... I have seen you at school but you don't seem to be taking any lessons and-"

"So sorry", squeaked the girl, apparently not happy about having someone talk to her right now. "So sorry but Debby must hurry, Debby must bring master food!"

"Bring master food?", Harry wondered, noticing the carefully wrapped sandwich in her left hand.

"Debby can't stay, Debby must hurry, must bring master food or master will not be pleased!", gasped the girl and tried to free herself from Harry's grasp.

"Debby!", he blurted out, trying to stop her from walking away. "Debby, so that's your name?"

"Debby, yes, yes. Debby must hurry ... must hurry to bring master food!"

"Master? Y o u r master? And that'd be-"

"OH HURRY UP FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, I'M STARVING!", came a voice from somewhere in the distance and Debby vanished before Harry could even think of a name which might belong to said voice.

Harry had hoped to find one or two answers by talking to Debby but their conversation had left him in nothing but more confusion. Still he saw the girl from time to time, running after Lucius Malfoy whose visits at Hogwarts had become unpleasingly frequent.

It didn't take a genius to find out that Debby's "master" was apparently said Mr. Malfoy. So that much was clear but why-

"Hey Harry!"

"Hello Harry!"

Ron and Hermione had joined Harry who was sitting on a bench, watching Malfoy and his female follower eagerly. Harry had told them everything he knew about Debby and Hermione was more than keen to look up some books on the subject. And just as she was about to pass on her knowledge, Hermione was interrupted by a loud, shrill voice.

"Oooh, kind master! Wonderful master!", cried Debby and threw herself onto her knees in front of Lucius who only rolled his eyes and attempted to turn around when Debby took hold of his foot.

"Most perfect master has gifted Debby with his socks! Debby worships master, oooh, wonderful master!"

"You're supposed to wash and not worship them!", Malfoy spat, jerked around and stomped off, closely followed by a brighly beaming Debby.

Still watching in mute surprise, Harry finally broke the silence. "So... what is she?"

"I thought she might be a house elf. It fits but I never imagined them to look that human", Ron mused.

"Oh, Ron. She's not a house elf!", Hermione paused. "She's a f a n g i r l!"

End Scroll.

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- Flashback -
Summary (at the end of the chapter, where it belongs...): "So that'd be another 'slighty silly, slightly altered' piece. This time I shall teach you that an house elf is not the only creature who's fond of Malfoy's clothes..."
Appendix: "I figure boredom and insanity should suffice as an excuse for this. Cheers and Happy New Year to all of you!"
- End Flashback -