Mimiko: I do not own YYH/ YGO. –snaps fingers- Where we last off, Bakura, Marik, Youko and Kuronue were in the bathroom at Wal-Mart to escape the chaos, which probably did not help them what so ever.
Youko rubbed his head in an attempt to get rid of the headache he'd had for quite sometime. "Would you cut it out!" He yelled at Kuronue. Kuronue had been playfully chewing on the toilet paper he'd found in a random bathroom stall. Well, not playfully, but he was chewing on it while shaking his head rapidly. Kuronue smiled innocently up at Youko and ran into a stall. Out of the four, Youko was probably the most in touch with reality. But, that did not excuse him from going into small lapses of insanity. Marik just stared at Youko as he turned around and started yelling at the wall for "dissing his mama." Bakura walked up to Marik and pulled on his sleeve. "Marik…" He said pointing at the mirror. "There is a devilishly handsome man in the mirror mimicking me." He whispered. "That's your reflection you idiot!" Marik spat. "It has a name!" Bakura gasped. He walked over to the mirror and glared at it. "So, Your Reflection, you think you're so hot! Well I'm hotter!" Bakura yelled shaking his fist and doing a variety of poses.
"You're so immature." Marik said to himself, braiding his hair. "WHAT! My mother is not fat! She's skinnier than me!" Youko screaming as he tried to bite the wall. "Hold it guys! We've got to snap back to reality. We're losing our minds." Marik said putting his hands up. "We are! Oh my god where'd they GO!" Bakura screamed looking around frantically. "It's a figure speech of stupid! My Lord you're slow!" (Now, that's just mean.) Kuronue shouted. "You don't have to point out what we already know! MEANIE BUTT!" Bakura yelled back. "Oh, that was nice." Youko said sarcastically. "I hate you all!" Bakura cried as he ran out of the bathroom.
Time passed and they all now have mustaches and beards. "Man, how long has it been since we've been here?" Marik asked. Youko pulled out a watch he stole from Mimiko and Ioa's house. (Hey!) He studied it for about a minute or two. "Well?" Marik asked. "Half an hour." Youko replied. "Oh." "Can we take these off? Mine is itchy." Kuronue whined as he scratched his beard. "Fine! But it won't be as authentic!" Marik said crossing his arms. Youko and Kuronue took their beards off quickly. "Finally!" Kuronue said rubbing his cheek.
"Aren't you going to take yours off?" Youko asked Marik. "Hm? What do you mean?" He replied. "Aren't you going to take your beard off?" Youko answered. "I can't." "What?" Kuronue pulled on Marik's beard, but it wouldn't come off. "Omigod! It's real!" Youko and Kuronue scooted away. "Ew." "Okay, so I can grow an extremely long beard in less than an hour, we can still be friends right?" Marik asked. Just then a bird poked its head out of Marik's beard. "Goddammit! If you can't pay the rent then get the hell out!" Marik said pointing at the door. The bird hung its head and flew out of Marik's beard. "Goddamn hobo…." Youko and Kuronue stared at Marik and ran out the door.
Actually, they ran right through the door to be exact and skidded to a stop in front of a mob of people who seemed to be carrying something. "All hail the mighty Bakura!" They chanted. "What?" Youko and Kuronue said together. Bakura emerged with a plastic tiara on his head and a bed sheet tied to his neck. "All hail me!" He shouted. "What the hell are you doing!" Youko asked. Kuronue wasn't listening, he was too busy staring at the fake tiara on Bakura's head. "Ooooh… plastic is shiny!" He said jumping up and down. "I'm hailing me! It's much fun! And if you don't like it you can suck a mango!" "Oh no! You're too late!" Kuronue squealed loudly holding a mango in his hands.
"We were in there for 30 MINUTES! YOU WERE THERE FOR TEN OF THOSE MINUTES! And now you're Queen of Wal-Mart!" Youko screamed pulling his hair out. "Hey! You said 'Queen'!" Bakura pointed out. "He's saying you don't have a penis!" Kuronue whispered very loudly. "Hey! I have penis!" Bakura shouted in a high-pitched voice. "I never said you didn't! Kuronue's putting words into my mouth!" Youko shouted back. Kuronue sighed. "I'm a whore for a tiara." "No, you're just a whore!" Youko yelled. "So are you!" Kuronue replied. They both put their hands on each others necks and tried to strangle each other.
"Where's my accountant! ACCOUNTANT!" Bakura shouted. Marik stomped out of the bathroom. "What now!" He bellowed. Bakura paused before speaking. "Well hello Gandalf." "Shut up!" Marik hollered in frustration. With a flash of light his beard disappeared. "It's that simple huh?" "Yep." "Hang on a second." Youko said removing his hands from Kuronue's throat. "You're Wal-Mart's accountant?" "No…" Marik replied. "I'm his accountant." He said pointing to Bakura. "How much do I have left in my savings?" Bakura asked jumping on top of the large mob. Marik pulled out a calculator and stabbed at the keys with his fingers. "Twenty-seven cents and a lollipop." "Oh goody!" Bakura said clapping his hands. "I can buy a stick of gum?" "ENOUGH!" Youko shouted. "We came here to extract revenge on those girls for sending us here…. Twice. We need to find them!" Just then, Youko heard Kuronue fumbling with something behind him. "Whoa ho ho… I dunno about any girls but look at what I found!" Kuronue beamed and held up various pairs of lingerie.
Bakura's hands flew up to face and he gasped. "Boobies!" He lunged at a nearby mannequin and caressed it fondly. "Did you miss me? I missed me." Marik smacked his forehead and shook his head in shame. "What are we going to do with him?" "I know really. I'M supposed to be the man-whore around here. What's the deal?" Youko said motioning towards Bakura. Marik shrugged and joined Kuronue in the lingerie section. "Whoa!" Kuronue exclaimed holding up a large bra. "This is HUGE! I'm gonna wear it as hat!" Kuronue said tying it on his head. "Kuronue put that away!" Youko said smacking it off him. Kuronue whimpered and crawled underneath a nearby shopping cart. "We've got to find those girls so we can get out of here." Youko said quietly. Bakura pranced around his mannequin while throwing confetti all over the plastic statue. "I'm gonna make you pretty!" Bakura reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of himself. He placed it on the mannequins face and taped it securely. "Ah! Honey! Whatever you're doing it's working!"
Marik dragged Bakura away from the life-size doll and held on tightly to his cape. "No fooling around! I want to get out of here!" Just then, the loudspeakers came on. "Attention Wal-Mart shoppers- Tampons and ovaries…. That is all." Bakura gasped and tugged on Marik's sleeve. "Can we get some ovaries please Marik? I've always wanted some!" Everyone looked at Bakura with perverse horror. "NO! NO! Absolutely not!" Marik said yanking his sleeve from Bakura's grasp. "Please Marik! I promise I'll use them everyday!" "Do you even know what ovaries are!" Youko asked leaning down dangerously close to Bakura's face. "Nope! No idea! But I want some!" Youko sighed and scratched his head. "Fine we'll get you some ovaries." Bakura's eyes lit up. "Really! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Youko looked around and tossed something Bakura. "Here. Ovaries." Bakura looked at the small package in his hand. "Wooooow…. But why does it say 'Kit Kat' on the wrapper?" Bakura asked. Youko started walking away. "I dunno! The guy who was supposed to make the wrappers got high and wrote the wrong name! He was drunk and not thinking clearly! His kids were driving him crazy and he was stressed out! Or he was sick and tired of looking for two stupid, violent girls who trapped him in Wal-Mart!" Youko bellowed. "Hey!" Everyone turned around to see Mimiko and Ioa standing behind the large mob. "We are not violent!" Mimiko shouted as both she and Ioa pushed random people onto the floor.
"After them!" Bakura shouted. The mob turned around with angry looks on their faces. "Grrr!" "Erm…. They went that way?" Ioa said pointing to her right. The mob nodded and quickly ran off to the right section of the store. "That won't work with us." Marik said coolly crossing his arms. "Yeah… we went that way." Mimiko replied pointing to the floor. "Ah ha!" Bakura jumped and landed on the spot where Mimiko specified and began to claw at the tiling. "Oh my God he's stupid." Youko said rubbing his temple. "Away!" The two girls shouted. Both grabbed pogo sticks and hopped off. Or at least Mimiko did. Ioa seemed to be having trouble with hers. "Mimikoooo…." She whined. "Mine's not working!" Ioa stared at the toy for a moment and then tossed it to the side. "Take that!" Suddenly, the pogo stick hopped up and went after Ioa, who squeaked quite loudly and ran away.
They went down the aisle were the Fig Newtons are! After them!" Youko shouted. "THEY DID! FIG NEWTONS! I'M THERE!" Bakura said as he jetted off towards the hunting department. Everyone then just stood there for a minute until Youko realized something. "Oh shit! They keep guns in the hunting department don't they!" Youko screamed.
End of Chappy 3.