THE SCHOOL BANDS
By Wouter JaegersWo.firstname.lastname@example.org
Ms. Li is getting wild hair up her butt and goes for another crazy fundraising event that gets everyone to go musical. (This story takes place before "Let's be in love")
Monday morning at Lawndale High school, Mr. DeMartino is watching a video with his class. The topic for today's class is the evolution of music. They are watching the famous Monterey pop performance of Jimi Hendrix. He is seen during the famous "wild thing" scene in which he sets his guitar on fire and smashing it. Most students look bored but Jane is watching in awe.
Jane: (V.O.) There's an artist in creation… He paints music and destroys it in front of his audience...
Daria: (looking at Jane) I see someone inspired.
Jane: This is art Daria, and so much more…
Daria: I bet that you wouldn't have said something like that to Trent.
Jane: Trent is not Hendrix.
Daria: And Hendrix was not Trent, so that will keep it in balance.
DeMartino switches the television off.
DeMartino: (Quietly to himself) That was good, I got to thank Tim for introducing me to the music of Hendrix. (Out loud) NOW class, from Mozart to Hendrix MUSIC has always had and always will have it's GENIUS. Can any of you tell ME what all of those PEOPLE have had in common, KEVIN?
Kevin: Err… They all became famous for making a lot of noise?
DeMartino: Kevin, do YOU play any instruments?
Kevin: (Goes red) MR. D WHY ARE YOU ASKING THIS IN CLASS?
DeMartino: I beg your PARDON?
Kevin: (Stands up) Nobody has to know that I "play my instrument"!
DeMartino: What are you TALKING about, MR. Thompson?
Kevin: (While walking out) Do you play your instrument yourself Mr. D?
DeMartino looks flabbergasted at Kevin's departure. Jodie speaks up.
Jodie: Don't bother Mr. D, Kevin speaks a different language; in his world "Playing your instrument" means something completely different.
Daria: This is also the reason why he's acting disappointed whenever we go on a field trip to the zoo and see "Monkeys", "Dolphins" and "Chickens".
Everything goes dark.
Jane: What the…
Daria: Jodie, what had the highest priority on the school improvement list?
Jodie: (Sighing) The electricity fuse board.
Daria: Ah now I know where Ms. Li got that money to pay for those metal detectors at the entrance of every class.
Jodie: Those detectors use a lot of electricity, the fuses couldn't handle that.
Jane: Serves her right, me and Daria had to wear our gym shoes because the steel reinforced toes of our boots constantly set the damn things off.
Jodie: That also explains why you aren't wearing your earrings.
Jane: Ms. Li had me strip naked until she found out that it were my earrings that set of the alarm. …someday I will get my revenge.
Daria: I even had to wear my contacts because the metal in my glasses set them off a couple of times.
Ms. Li's office sometime later, she and Mrs. Bennett are discussing a new and of course mandatory, fundraiser.
Bennett: What are you suggesting, we tried everything.
Li: Everything but something that really involves all the students, we seriously need to get up with something that they all can identify with.
Bennett: Music is really popular among them, every student has his or her musical taste. We could do a musical fair that gives them the opportunity to express their musicality.
Some time later, the students are eating their lunch in the dark when Ms. Li comes in with a megaphone.
Li: Attention all student body, I have an important announcement to make. The school is presenting a musical fair in which you all are asked to participate, those who will not participate will be expelled. Anyway, you will be all forming bands or other musical acts…
Daria: (wry) This is my chance to rid the school of Ms. Li, if she hears me playing my blues harp she'll choke up and die.
Jane: Let's start a band called "the misery chicks" and play so loud that the walls cave in.
Daria: (Mona Lisa smile) This is the first Fundraiser that I want to participate in.
Jane: Better come over, we keep a lot of stuff in the attic including some of Trent's musical equipment he abandoned when he could afford better stuff.
Daria: Don't you mean: more expensive stuff?
Jane: He currently owns five electric guitars, an old drum kit he bought from Max to place in his "home studio" an electric bass guitar that Nick forgot to take with him and a couple of battered amplifiers.
Daria: We have the gear. Now we only need some people to play it.
That girl with the camouflage clothes and long blond hair walks up to them.
Girl: If you're looking for band members, count me in. I'm a killer guitar player.
Daria: Yes, I remember seeing a guitar in your locker.
Girl: By the way, my name is Belinda. But I prefer B.L.
Jane: Welcome in the "misery chick band" B.L.
The Lane residence, Jane, Daria, and B.L. are watching "sick sad world"
Announcer: On the first day they arrive, (a big space ship is seen) on the second day they attack, (the space ship is seen firing laser beams) on the third day they go into therapy. (President Clinton and the leader of the aliens are seen in a psychologist office) Co-dependence day, next on sick sad world.
Jane switches off the television.
Jane: Time to go digging, girls.
Daria: Where are my ropes and pickaxe?
B.L.: Is your attic really that bad?
Jane: No it's worse.
Jane opens the door that leads to the attic of the lane residence and switches on the lights, revealing a dusty heap of Lane memories completely stuffing the attic to the top. A few bats, scared by the light make their exit through a hole in one of the walls.
Jane: Dang, I thought I told Trent to fix that.
B.L.: When was that?
Jane: Two years ago, which also was the last time I came here.
Daria: This is just like High school; if you come back to visit after you graduated it always will be exactly like it was when you left.
B.L.: So when we come to visit LHS in about ten or twenty years we'll still find Kevin playing with the lions and Brittany leading the cheerleading squad.
Jane: I got to paint this. Kevin, already balding and with a big beer belly on the field.
Daria: Not to mention Brittany; her legs three times as fat, her boobs hanging over her navel and wrinkles in her face.
B.L.: (laughing) And with gray streaks in her pig tails, giving the other cheerleaders a hard time when they have to lift her to do a tower.
Daria: (grinning) And leaving a gaping hole whenever she tries to do a split and falls on her face.
Jane: I have to paint this someday, it's just too good to pass up.
B.L.: I think I just saw a guitar case.
B.L.: There: underneath that totaled Harley Davidson motorbike.
Jane: H'm, I guess I should phone Dad about finding his bike, he has been searching for it for five years.
Daria: How on earth did it end up here?
Jane: I vaguely remember Wind and Trent hiding it when Wind wrecked it after his wedding with a woman who as it turned out was cheating on her "former" husband who was a pro wrestler.
Flashback to that time; we see Trent without his goatee and earrings and with longer hair together with Wind, who has various bruises on his face and a big black eye, struggling to get the Motor as Quiet as possible upstairs.
Trent: Damn you and your way of dating Wind!
Wind: (Sniffling) Why didn't she tell me…Why do I always have to suffer in such an unfair way?
Trent: You are doing the most damage yourself Wind. Why do you always get married when you don't even know the woman?
Wind: It's love at first sight Trent.
Trent: "Love at first sight" my ass. You told me yourself that she said that she could marry a wimp like you just for the pleasure of seeing her Husband kicking your ass.
Wind: Dad will kill me if he ever finds out.
Trent: (seriously pissed) Serves you right, you know how he treasured his bike, he rode to Woodstock on it with Mom on the back, just before Summer was born! And you wrecked it because of yet another stupid failed wedding.
Back to the present.
Jane: I guess Wind and Trent thought that Dad would never look here.
Daria: They were right, this is really the last place where you'd expect to find a motorbike.
B.L.: Let's get that case, shall we?
The three girls begin moving the deceased motorbike revealing not one but three guitar cases.
Jane: Jackpot, we won't find more guitars here; Trent keeps the other two in his room, those are his main stage instruments. He "retired" these three.
B.L.: Let's open them up shall we?
B.L. opens the first revealing a cheap Asian Rickenbacker guitar copy. The originally black guitar bears a hand painted Warhol like "BANG" graphic.
Daria: I don't think that I have to ask you who painted this, do I?
Jane: Trent used to be a big fan of The Jam, and he asked me to paint his guitar to look like the one Paul Weller used.
Daria: I think I just found the instrument that I will use.
Jane: Then I will be "smacking the skins". (Read the booklet of The Black crows' album "Amorica" to find out.)
B.L.: But that means that we haven't got a bass player.
Daria: So, The John Spencer blues explosion also has no bass player.
B.L.: But we could do it on the "morphine" way.
Daria: Excuse me?
B.L.: Their bass player plays a guitar with two bass strings on it.
Daria: Just like that guy in the Presidents of the United States of America.
B.L.: I would like to see the other two if you don't mind.
Jane: Go ahead.
B.L. opens the second and the third case revealing a cheap Japanese Yamaha guitar and a Japanese Tokai Gibson copy.
B.L.: (while taking out the Tokai) Your brother sure knows guitars, these two are fine specimens. I guess I should ask him if I could buy these from him.
Jane: If you can wake him…
Meanwhile at Jodie's are she and some other African/American girls putting their act together. They have decided to go as an all female R&B act.
Jodie: Sheena, Pearly, you will play the keyboards and bass. Cynthia, you will be doing the drums and Jessica, Sidney, Jacky and me will be doing the singing.
Pearly: What name does our band have.
Jodie: (smirking a Mona Lisa smile) How do you all really feel about Ms. Li?
Jessica: She's a bitch.
Jacky: Bitch beyond all "bitchyness".
Jodie: that's why our band will be called "the truth" because naming ourselves "C*nt" would give away too much.
Jessica: (Singing the "Southpark" song.) She's a bitch, she's a bitch, she's a bitch, bitch, bitch…
The others join her.
The Morgendorffer residence sometime later, the Morgendorffers are having dinner and Quinn is rambling about the school assignment.
Quinn: so Sandi and I came up with the idea of doing a girl-band act where we are wearing the newest fashion on stage while singing.
Helen: That's fabulous sweetie, Daria what will you be doing at the fair?
Daria: My answer will surprise you Mom but I'm also participating; Jane, a girl named Belinda and I started a band called "The outcasts" and we'll be playing music with my poems.
Helen: Really, what are you playing in that band.
Daria: Trent gave me one of his guitars to use and fitted it with bass strings so the low end will be my department.
Quinn: (suddenly realizes something important.) Oh yeah that's right, we haven't put a band together yet to play the music while we're performing.
Daria: Better call Milly Vanilly, I bet they can give you some advise on what musicians to use.
Quinn: (Missing the joke) Thanks Daria, I will look up their phone number right now.
Quinn stands up and walks straight to the phone and starts dialing the information number.
Daria: (smirking) As hard as it is to admit this, there are times that I truly love my sister.
Jake: Glad to hear you talking that way kiddo.
Helen: (groans at Quinn's gullibility and Jake's obliviousness.) Ooooh man.
Daria: I think I'll call it an early night, I want to take a shower if you don't mind.
Helen: Go ahead, sweetie.
A few minutes have past and Quinn's tries at finding the "Milly Vanilly" phone number have all been in vain.
Quinn: I don't get it, why do they all start laughing at me when I ask them for the "Milly Vanilly" number? (Suddenly the realization that Daria might have pulled a trick on her dawns in Quinn's mind.) Wait a minute…I'd better ask Daria who "Milly Vanilly" really are…
Quinn walks into Daria's room finding it empty.
Quinn: Oh yeah she went showering.
"Going underground" by The Jam starts to play as Quinn enters the bathroom, but the sight she sees astounds her. There is Daria; Buck naked, beautiful as an angel, her Autumn brown hair draped along her back, her eyes closed and clearly enjoying her bath while squeezing her firm breasts which are shining from the soap which Daria is using to clean herself… The breasts that were kept from sight for so long, her clothing always concealed the beauty that Quinn is seeing now. Quinn just stands and watches her. She might have seen other girls, Daria included, naked before but it never made this much impact. But after a few minutes Daria opens her eyes and finally notices Quinn.
Daria: Do you mind, I would like some privacy when I'm showering.
Quinn: (taken aback) Oh, I'm sorry. I wanted to ask you something but… never mind.
Blushing in shame Quinn leaves the bathroom.
Daria: (Thought V.O.) Why did she stare at me that way, she has seen me naked before… You'd almost think that she's… No that couldn't be true. I guess that she was just amazed by my appearance and she must be wondering why I haven't exploited it in the same way she does.
But while Daria dismissed her confusion concerning Quinn's behavior, Quinn herself got even more confused. What was it about seeing her sister naked that nailed her to the ground and why did it feel so natural? Furthermore why was she always so strict on a girl's appearance, why did she let the word "Cute" rule her life, WHAT IS GOING ON?
Lawndale high school the next day, Jodie, B.L., Daria and Jane are discussing the fair.
Jodie: So we started a band called "The Truth" and we decided to do songs about the downside of growing up.
Jane: Like "What's up" from The four non-blondes, the opposite of "don't worry, be happy"?
Jodie: Precisely that song, along with "another brick in the wall" from Pink Floyd and "School" from Supertramp. If we going to give "honor and acclaim to Laaaaawnndaaallleeeee High" then we might as well do it in style.
Daria: Our band "The outcasts" will be based on the music of the Jon Spencer blues explosion, L7, Morphine and Sonic youth. We'll be doing a couple of their songs and a few originals written by me and composed by B.L.
Jodie: Really, and what would that include?
Daria: Read this; I think you'll like it.
Jodie: (Reading aloud) " Got to Move on. By Daria Morgendorffer.
We now see the paper up close.
Being locked up as a four year old by some guys who wanted to prank your Mother. To bad it had to be you because they could have easily picked another.
Besides a childhood trauma, justice was quickly done when they showed you how to swallow it up and just move on.
Being beaten up in middle school by some kids who say you don't belong, and even your parents say that doing nothing to repay them was the right road to go along.
Despite the rage that's boiling up and everything going wrong, they said that you just have to swallow it and move on.
Finally meeting the love of your life and having true happiness coming your way, "they" start badmouthing you sending that person away.
Another victory for the merciless, another battle they've won, as they pushed it down your throat and told you to move on.
Jodie: Cool, I'm sure a lot of people will identify with that.
Jane: Most notably Mr. O'Neill.
B.L.: And every male student that has to attend Ms. Barch's class.
Quinn walks over.
Quinn: Daria, could you give me some more information about those Milli Vanilli guys, I already found out that they had a couple of big hits in the late eighties but I can't find the number of their agency.
Jodie: (Whispering to Daria) Milli Vanilli, those counterfeit rappers?
Daria: Quinn doesn't know that, she was a bit too young at that time. (Out loud) That's because their record company was German. You should call to Germany to reach their agency.
Jane: There is one thing you should know about them Quinn, they…
Jodie: (Interrupting Jane)…won a Grammy award.
Quinn: Really, wow I got to call them quick, I guess they should be very busy.
Quinn walks away, leaving the girls snickering at her gullibility.
Jane: Milli Vanilli very busy, not bloody likely.
Daria: She's going to kill me when she finds out, but that will be worth it.
B.L.: Incredible, you both shared the same womb but she's so much different then you.
Daria: What I didn't get in the looks department she didn't get in her brain capacity.
Jane: That's not exactly true, you can look as pretty as she but you just don't want to do that.
Jodie: But why, you can have it all.
Daria: Because I just want to be left alone, people judge you from your appearance and I believe that's wrong. So I dress like this to tell people to leave me alone.
A few hours later at the Griffin residence are the fashion club rehearsing their act. Sandi is doing the choreography.
Sandi: And turn around, two, three, four… and kick your legs, two, three, four…
Stacy: Can we rest for a minute Sandi, this work out is really tiring.
Tiffany: Yeeeaaaah the sweat is making my make up smudge.
Quinn: Besides, shouldn't we continue searching for those Milli Vanillyi guys if we still need the music?
Stacy: Milli Vanilli?
Tiffany: Those counterfeits?
Quinn: What do you mean?
Sandi: (Laughing) They faked their whole act, they never sang on their records.
Quinn: Oh no, Daria did it again, when will I learn that when she says something like that, she only wants to make fun of me.
Sandi: So that cousin of yours was trying to help you, how nice of her.
Tiffany: she'd be better off if she first would help herself.
Quinn: That's not true, I saw her showering the other day and she's cuter then any of us.
Sandi: (smug) Liar, if that's true then why doesn't she show it off.
Quinn: (Getting angry) Mostly because she likes to be left alone. We dress all flashy to attract attention but she likes to be left alone and so she dresses very plain.
Sandi: (Pouting her lips) Oh really, no wonder she never gets any boys. The only one she hangs around with is that arty chick, I bet they are both dykes.
Quinn went pale, why did the word "Dykes" made her feel so insulted, why did it feel as if Sandi wasn't talking about Daria…
Quinn: That's not true Sandi, she has a relationship with the brother of that arty friend of hers' and that arty friend has a steady boyfriend.
Sandi: Why are you defending her, she has always caused you trouble?
Quinn: Because she is family, and I won't let you insult my family.
Stacy looks at Quinn and her thought go back a few years, they were in the auditorium and Daria was giving a speech.
Daria: Winning the fight against low self-esteem takes support, from teachers, from friends and most importantly from family… And the person I'd like to thank more then any other is my very own sister Quinn Morgendorffer. My SISTER Quinn has forgotten more about self-esteem then I'll ever know.
Stacy vividly remembers Quinn's reaction. Clearly telling everyone who was there that Daria spoke the truth. But as time went on everyone just dismissed it. Stacy looked at Quinn in admiration, although she and Daria were like fire and water she still defended her and Stacy also sensed that Quinn secretly held a deep love for Daria.
Sandi: Oh if that's the case then you'd better be going and join her band instead.
Quinn: Fine with me, I'm going.
Stacy: And I'll go with her, she cannot do this alone.
Sandi: No you won't, the fashion club was founded…
Stacy: (interrupting) …out of support for each other. At least that's what you told me and Tiffany when you founded the club. If Quinn wants to do her own thing then I'll help her.
They both turn their heads and walk out.
Quinn: Thank you Stacy.
Stacy: That's what friends are for.
Suddenly Quinn breaks down in tears.
Stacy: Quinn, what's the matter?
Quinn: (Sobbing) I never had true friends, Daria has. And I always felt lonely. Thank you for being there Stacy, thank you for defending me.
Stacy let's out a few tears herself, Quinn clearly keeps a lot of love in her heart for her as well. Sandi and Tiffany watch from a window as Quinn and Stacy hug.
Sandi: (disgusted) Ick, how can they act like that, we can't use people like that in the club.
Tiffany: Yeeeaaaahhh, that's sooooooo wrong.
Stacy: Let's go to the swimming pool, I guess a little dip would make you feel better.
Quinn: Great idea, let's get our swimming suits and go.
Meanwhile at the Taylor residence are Brittany and the rest of the cheerleading squad rehearsing their act, a song about cheerleading and making towers while singing. Brittany's brother Brian sees this, takes out a blowpipe and shoots a little rock directly into one the eyes of one of the cheerleaders causing her to lose her balance and taking the whole tower with her as she falls down.
Brittany: Why you little…
The cheerleading squad runs after him.
At the Thompson residence are Kevin and the rest of the Lions, minus Mack, rehearsing their act, a rap act about scoring touchdowns. They all wear their jerseys and sunglasses in addition.
Kevin: If you want the crown just run up and make a touchdown.
Joey: If you're feeling bad just make a touchdown.
Jeffy: If your girlfriend is feeling sad just make a touchdown.
Jamie: Nobody would make you frown if you make a touchdown.
All: And TACKLE!
Kevin bolts up and tackles his teammates.
Jamie: Not us, you idiot.
Kevin: Oops, sawwreee.
Lawndale Hydro world, Quinn and Stacy are having a good time.
Quinn: (While jumping from the highest diving board) CANNONBALL!
And she makes a big splash.
Stacy: Is that all you can do? DEPTH CHARGE!
She jumps and makes an even bigger splash.
Quinn: (Laughing) Okay, uncle, uncle.
Stacy: We should do this more often.
Quinn: Want to go to the Turkish steam bath?
Stacy: You're on!
And A moment later they find themselves in the steam chamber, Stacy dozes off and Quinn finds herself alone with her best friend who is a very attractive girl. Suddenly the confusion is working up again, why is she feeling the urge to touch Stacy, to caress that perfect feminine body of hers? Quinn shaked her head trying to keep her thoughts from going to indecent places, she tried to think of really pretty boys but the images of Daria taking a shower and Stacy in her bathing suit kept prepping up. "No this cannot be" Quinn thought to herself, "I can't be aroused by another girl's body, it's just not me!" Stacy opened her eyes and was astounded by what she saw.
Stacy: Thinking of pretty guys Quinn?
Quinn: (Snapping out of it.) Oh, err, what gives you that idea Stacy?
Stacy: Your boobs; your nipples are erect. I guess it must have been a real hunk to get you so aroused.
Quinn looks at her breasts and sure enough, her nipples are clearly showing through her top. Quinn start to blush in embarrassment. Stacy giggles.
Stacy: Nothing to be embarrassed about, besides who is going to notice inhere, the place is empty. Now tell me, who is the lucky person that got you so horny?
Quinn: (Beet red, shy) Oh I want to keep that to myself if you don't mind Stacy.
Stacy: (Naughty giggle) Don't worry, I respect your decision. I think I'll take another nap, but you'd better not be touching yourself when I wake up.
Quinn: (Nervous giggle) Don't worry, I won't.
Stacy dozes off again, leaving Quinn in a very awkward position. But Stacy herself is thinking the same.
Stacy: (Through thought V.O.) She was looking at me and she got aroused, does that mean that we share the same sexuality? God I hope so, I fell in love with her when I first saw her but couldn't show it because of the others in the club.
Quinn: (Through V.O.)Stacy knows. Oh my god she figured me out, she knows that I was looking at her and my body just… NO I CAN'T, AS MUCH AS I WANT IT I JUST CAN'T!
Quinn looks away from Stacy and tries to enjoy the steam bath, she succeeds but only for a couple of minutes. She looks at Stacy again, this time with a passion. Those long slender legs that perfect butt and that flat tender tummy are driving her wild. And suddenly she breaks, she has to do something. She stands up and heads for the ice water showers. Stacy opens her eyes and frowns in disappointment.
Stacy: But I could be wrong…
Quinn finds herself standing under a freezing shower regaining consciousness.
Quinn: (V.O.) What has gotten into me? I'm a heterosexual girl but why did I…
Stacy interrupts Quinn's thought.
Stacy: Oh here you are, cooling off?
Quinn: Err…Yeah, the heat became too much for me.
Stacy: Yeah me too, can I join?
Stacy joins Quinn and flushes all the heat from her. Quinn is feeling awkward again.
Quinn: (V.O.) Oh god she looks so good, the way her suit fits her body like a second skin, I can almost see her…
Stacy: So Quinn I was wondering if you were in for a truth or dare game?
Quinn: (Caught off guard) Oh err…Sure.
Stacy: Truth or dare?
Stacy: Did you ever made love to a boy?
Quinn: No, I figured that I wasn't ready for it yet.
Quinn suddenly realized what Stacy was aiming for and decided to change the game.
Quinn: Truth or dare.
Quinn: Did you ever go steady again after Brett Stranders broke your heart?
Stacy choked, that was the day that she fully realized that she just wasn't born a straight girl. Even now she couldn't accept herself just like Quinn can't. She remembers Quinn wanting to stay over when her parents and sister went to a university. She wanted to do anything that Quinn told her to... but that scared Quinn away.
Stacy: No, I went out with other boys but never went steady, I haven't met "Mr. Right" yet.
Quinn lets out a sigh of relieve, apparently Stacy knew nothing about it and it was probably the heat that caused the arousing.
The lane residence, some time later "the Outcasts" are rehearsing. The song they're playing is "Dope show" of Marilyn Manson. B.L. is singing with full blown snide and resentment in her voice.
B.L.: The DRUGS, they say are made in California. We LOVE your face we'd really like to sell ya', the COPS and QUEERS make good looking models. I hate today who'll I wake up with tomorrow…
After finishing the song, the three girls take a break.
Daria: Wow B.L., I never thought you'd keep so much anger inside.
B.L.: There is a good reason for me to harbor a lot of anger, Daria.
Daria: Really, why?
B.L.: Do you really want to know?
Jane: You fed our curiosity.
B.L.: Oh what the hell… I was born Belinda Lisa Parker on the twenty first of April 1984. I grew up in a normal suburb in Lawndale and my parents both had decent jobs. And I was raised in a strict religious way. "God will do this… God will do that…" and the rest of all that crap. But I had nothing to complain about until the day that I turned fifteen. My body was getting mature, I joined the cheerleading squad, that's why I'm so agile on my skateboard, and I was vastly becoming popular. And one day my life completely changed; some boys of the football team came up to me, saying that they had something to show me. They took me into a storage room and brutally raped me. And when I came home my parents took me to an exorcist to "get the evil within me out of my body." I will never forget their facial expressions as he cuffed me to a pillar and took out his whip. (She takes off her shirt showing Daria and Jane the deep scars.) My parents behaved relieved as one blow after another hit my bare back and that insane exorcist kept saying: "Get out of her body Satan!" After that I ran away and stayed at the YMCA ever since. Ms. Li never punished the football players.
Jane: Because it wouldn't bring "Honor and acclaim to LAAAAAAWWWNNDALE high".
B.L.: Exactly, but there was one teacher who stood up for me all the time; Ms. Janet Barch. She became the Mother I never had, she punished the boys, filed charges against my parents and paid for my stay at the YMCA. Needles to say I owe the praying mantis a lot and deeply respect her.
Daria: I knew that woman is a lot less hostile then she lets on.
B.L.: Oh you haven't heard anything yet. She can giggle as a thirteen year old girl having her first crush whenever we discuss Mr. O'Neill. She wants to marry him and wished he would have been there at that time, instead of her former husband.
Daria: You both have had bad experiences with men and Ms. Barch still has managed to find "Mr. Right" but how are you coping up?
B.L.: At the YMCA I met Walter, my current boyfriend who has had quite a few childhood trauma's himself and we have a very strong relationship.
Jane: (Impressed) Wow that proves once again that "the losers always win."
B.L: Paul Stanley on "Creatures of the night" from the same titled album of Kiss.
Daria: You know your classics.
B.L.: Are you telling me you got that album?
Daria: Hey, any album that states things like "we won't be tranquilized" and "Just know when the clock strikes twelve, the losers always win" has to be in my possession. Did you listen to a lot of New Order because your playing is similar to Peter Hook's.
B.L.: He's my favorite player, but I really got into him by listening to Joy Division. I still like dark music, it calls out to me.
Jane: I do too, Trent introduced me to the Manic Street Preachers and their album "The Holy Bible" has got to be the darkest of all albums.
B.L.: And we couldn't possibly forget Type O Negative, I think Pete Steel is the biggest hunk ever.
Jane: Me too, Trent once took me back stage at a Type O Negative concert and I met him. He is big, really big, I would say he's about Six feet eleven. He lifted me as if I was a piece of straw, with no effort at all and I sat on his big muscular arms.
Daria: (Smirking) You filthy, rotten, lucky bitch.
B.L.: Yeah really.
Meanwhile at the Morgendorffer residence are Quinn and Stacy trying to put their act together. But Sandi outsmarted them.
Stacy: (on the phone) Yeah… Oh… that's too bad, apology accepted. …No I understand, bye.
Quinn: Let me guess he got booked too?
Stacy: Yeah, Sandi has booked them all.
Quinn: Well it seems that we have to do it ourselves.
Stacy: We both have computers, and if we can buy the right software it shouldn't be a problem.
Quinn: You've got a point there, we could make an Mp3 file and use that as our backing track. I would doubt it that Sandi would have thought about that.
Stacy: Well it is our last resort. Oh I have to get back, I'll see you tomorrow ok?
Quinn: Ok, see you.
Stacy gets up and repositions her skirt giving Quinn a faint hint of her panties.
Quinn: (V.O.) Oh my God, she's wearing red lace!
Stacy walks out of Quinn's room, leaving her feeling awkward again. As she goes down the stairs she bumps into Helen.
Helen: Oh hi Stacy, leaving already?
Stacy: Hi Mrs. Morgendorffer, yes my mother expects me home around this hour.
Helen: I'm glad Quinn has such a good friend in you, she's been very lonely the last couple of months and she can barely get along with Daria.
Stacy: That's not true Mrs. Morgendorffer, Quinn secretly respects and loves her sister. That occurred to me when she defended her when Sandi started to badmouth Daria at our latest meeting.
Helen: Really? That's so good to hear. I always knew that underneath that shallow charade she puts on there's good person.
Helen lets Stacy out but when she saw Stacy walking away it suddenly hit her; when she said that Quinn defended Daria, she told about Quinn defending her sister, not her cousin.
Helen: That Stacy is brighter then she appears.
The Rowe residence a few minutes later, Stacy and her Mother are having dinner.
Mrs. Rowe: Well Stacy, how did the swimming trip go?
Stacy: We had lots of fun and I found out an interesting revelation about Quinn; it appears that she's attracted to girls. She stared at me lustfully.
Mrs. Rowe: Really, so you found yourself another lesbian girl?
Stacy: It appears so but Quinn is currently in a denial phase, she hasn't accepted it yet.
Mrs. Rowe: Why doesn't she talk about it with her parents, you came up to me when you found out about your sexuality.
Stacy: That's not like Quinn, she likes to have this charade that tells everyone, her parents included, that she's some kind of super girl. She doesn't want everyone to know that she has her faults as well.
Mrs. Rowe: Are you going to tell her?
Stacy: I guess I have too eventually but I have to wait until she's ready for it.
The Morgendorffer residence that night, Quinn is fast asleep. She moans softly as she smiles. "Sweet love" of Anita Baker starts to play.
Quinn's dream: We see her walking through a landscape of feminine shapes, with breast shaped hills and tummy like dales. She's sitting on one of those hills while tongue wrestling with Stacy. Who keeps on saying "stay with me, this is where you belong." Quinn slowly wakes up.
Quinn: This is where I belong…
Quinn looks down and finds her hand in her panties.
Quinn: (Fearfully) But do I really want to belong there?
Quinn walks to the bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror, she's afraid, afraid of herself. She's fifteen, "the age of discovery" as her parents would call it but she isn't so fond of what she discovered. "why me" kept popping up in her head. She decided that she had to talk to someone about this. But who, not Stacy, she might break their friendship if she found out. Not Sandi, she would kick her out of the fashion club. Not Joey, Jeffy and Jamie, they would probably see it as an act of betrayal. Not her parents, they wouldn't understand, that left one option left.
As Quinn made her way to Daria's room she suddenly heard a female voice humming "Happy days are here again". Daria? "That can't be." Quinn thought. "Daria never hums, and even if she would hum then she would never hum such a happy tune". Curiously Quinn slightly opened the door to Daria's room and peeped in. There was Daria, indeed humming sitting on her bed with a satisfied smile on her lips. But then Quinn noticed why Daria was so out of character. As she stood up and walked over to her closet Daria revealed that she wasn't alone. Quinn looked in astonishment as she discovered a nude male figure lying face down on Daria's bed, when Daria returned he looked up and invited her back in. Quinn knew this boy he'd been over a couple of times. And as Quinn saw his tattooed arms she knew for sure who it was. A bit flabbergasted Quinn made her way to her own room again. She now knew what to do, Daria had helped her even by doing nothing. "If she can come out, then so can I." she thought as she entered her bed again and dozed off.
The next day at the Morgendorffer residence Quinn and Stacy are rehearsing their act, a cover version of The Bangles "Eternal flame". Quinn and Stacy are singing close harmony, while the music slowly plays.
Quinn & Stacy: Close your eyes give me your hand, darling. Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand do you feel the same or am I only dreaming. Is this burning an eternal flame.
As Helen walks by and hears the girls' singing she stops at Quinn's door and listens. There is her youngest daughter singing with a passion and with a lot of love in her voice.
Stacy: All right, we're really pulling it off!
Quinn: Yeah, I'd love to see what Sandi came up with, she certainly can't beat us on this one.
The Griffin residence around the same time…
Linda: SANDI, WHERE DO ALL THOSE STUDIO BILLS COME FROM?
The big day slowly arrived, the fair was started and all musical groups were readying themselves for their performances. B.L. was just tuning up her guitar when Brittany came up to her.
Brittany: Excuse me but have you seen Kevin around?
B.L.: No I'm sorry Brittany, I haven't seen him.
Brittany: (Suddenly recognizing B.L.) Belinda, is that you?
B.L. grabs her hair and tights it up in a ponytail revealing her face.
B.L.: (Smiling) Hi Brit, nice to talk to you again after all those months.
Brittany: (perky) IT IS YOU! Where have you been, you have been gone for almost a year after you quit the cheerleading squad.
B.L.: I had some issues to solve and I came to realize that I didn't want to be popular anymore.
Brittany: Hey everyone has to find his own destiny.
B.L.: Glad that you accepted my decision.
Brittany: Friends forever Belinda, once a cheerleader always a cheerleader.
B.L. thinks back to the future visions she Daria and Jane had of Kevin and Brittany and smiles as she finds the irony in Brittany's remark.
B.L.: For all time sake Brittany.
Brittany: For all time sake Belinda.
And they start a cheer.
B.L. & Brittany: FOR-ALL-TIME-SAKE- IS-THE-WAY-WE-GO. THE-VICTORY-IS-OURS-AND-WE'RE-GONNA-LET-IT-SHOW! WHERE-THE-OTHERS-WILL-STOP-IS-WHERE-WE-BEGIN. WAY-TO-GO-AND-LET-THE-LIONS-WIN.
They both end up in splits with Brittany topping over. B.L. helps her up.
B.L.: Not bad Brittany but you still have to work on keeping your balance.
Mr. O'Neill: Attention everybody, the performances will begin in two minutes.
The auditorium was already crowded with proud parents who came to see their offspring play. Charles Ruttheimer Jr. approached the Griffin's.
Charles: Why hello Linda, Tom. I take it that you're here to see that lllllooooovelllyyyy daughter of yours perform.
Tom pushes Upchuck's Dad out of the way and lets his family through.
Tom: Get away from us creep!
Sam: (in admiration) Whoa, did you see that Chris, Dad shoved that guy.
Amanda ,Vincent and Trent Lane walk in.
Charles: Greetings Amanda and you too Vincent, can I take your coats?
Amanda: (Firm, in a "Jane" kind of way.) Perhaps, …after I vomit on your shoes.
Charles: Ooh feisty!
Vincent: (Ice cold) I know and believe me, you don't get any closer to Mandy without getting to me. Comprende?
Charles: Ay, mi comprende señor.
Vincent: Good, now get lost. Before I will get "feisty"!
Charles Ruttheimer Jr. silently retreats, finally understanding why his son always gets so bruised. Meanwhile backstage is Sandi brooding out another evil plan. She takes a can of white paint and spills it all over Stacy and Quinn's dresses and crushes their Mp3 tape by slamming the can down upon it.
Sandi: Whoops! That's too, too bad.
Stacy begins to hyperventilate as she sees their hard work destroyed, Quinn quickly grabs her and comforts her.
Stacy: (On the verge of tears.) Oh no what can we do, she destroyed it all.
Quinn: Snap out of it Stacy! Nothing is lost.
Stacy: What do you mean, she ruined our dresses.
Quinn: So, and what's wrong with wearing our normal outfits?
Stacy: And she destroyed our backing tape.
Quinn: But we still have our voices, we don't need the tape.
Stacy looks in Quinn's eyes and nods, Quinn starts to smile at Stacy. They then fiercely hug each other.
A few minutes have passed and the performances have started. First up: the Lawndale Lions. They sing their song full of enthusiasm and get the crowed to go wild. Kevin sings the last line and Tackles his team mates as they end the song with their "And Tackle" yell.
Joey: NOT US YOU MORON!
Kevin: Oh I knew that.
Next up: Upchuck with an Engelbert Humperdinc song.
Upchuck: (Badly out of tune) PUHLEAZZZZEEE RELEASE ME…
Charles Ruttheimer Jr.: Way to go son.
Jake: (Moaning) Way to go to hell he means.
Helen: This is worse then your kitchen sink stew.
Next up: The Truth, Jodie and the other launch into a smoothed out version of Living colour's "Type" a song about prejudice. Ms. Li looks stricken, then angry. How could her star pupil betray her like that? Michelle Landon smiles in satisfaction, Ms. Li won't make a fool out of her daughter.
Next up: Quinn and Stacy.
Quinn: Hello everybody, we have to change our act slightly.
Sandi smiles contently.
Quinn: So instead of doing the electric version of the song we rehearsed we will do it accapella.
They start a very moving accapella version of "Eternal Flame" leaving not a single eye dry in the audience. Sandi begins to frown in displeasure as she witnesses the standing ovation that they receive.
Next up: Sandi and Tiffany, they bring up a whole band of professional musicians and perfectly choreographed dancers who start off the song "Crazy" from Britney Spears. Tiffany is given the mike and just stand there.
Sandi: (Quietly) Sing, why don't you sing?
Tiffany: Am I supposed to sing, then why didn't we rehearse a song?
Sandi goes white: she hired a whole band and dancers, spent hours at Cashman's in order to find the perfect outfits and has forgotten all about the song.
Daria and Quinn both smirking Mona Lisa smiles watch from the side of the stage.
Daria: That's too, too bad.
Jane: We're next.
Quinn: Good luck.
And The Outcasts take the stage.
B.L.: Before we begin, I wanted to invite the cheerleading squad on stage and I want to thank Ms. Janet Barch for being there for me when I needed her.
The cheerleaders take the stage and start the movements they rehearsed making the sarcastic message of their song "got to move on" especially clear.
Daria: (V.O.) This is just like that Nirvana video.