April's Fool These characters are not mine. They are property of the WB/Touchstone Pictures. However, this storyline and the dialogue contained within ARE of my own creation, and may not be used without my permission. April's Fool is ©2001 JaCk/jack.andrew@att.net . All rights to my part in this creation are reserved.

NOTES ON APRIL'S FOOL: I dunno, I got a wild hair up my butt and decided to take a stab at writing some Popular fanfic. This particular fan fic is written in loose script format, i.e., it's semi-formal but meant for the non-actor to read and understand. I *could* have written it in story format, but it goes by so much faster this way. ;) Besides, any fan of Popular will be able to picture this going on in their head.

The way this is set up is thus: In watching Popular, you might notice that there's a short beginning part and around 4-5 longer parts after the Kendall Payne song introduction that make up the show (between the commercials.) April's Fool 's "short beginning part" will be called the prologue, and appears as four acts (chapters/sections/whatever.) Also, the acts may be longer than the normal 43-47 minute long length of the actual show, UNLESS I decide to make it five acts. Despite this being in its loose script format, I prefer to call this legitimate fan fiction, esp. since it may never see the light of screentime. Thanks for the interest and please email me with any thoughts or criticism.

The storyline takes place after The News of My Death Has Been Greatly Exaggerated -- just pretend that there's no other new Populars after it until this one, which would take place in the beginning of April. Also, consider it an alternate follow-up to The News of My Death Has Been Greatly Exaggerated.

APRIL'S FOOL: PROLOGUE

INT. KENNEDY HIGHSCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY

SAM McPHERSON and LILY ESPOSITO walk down the Kennedy High corridor on their way to Sam's locker.

LILY
I can't believe it's April already.

SAM
Tell me about it...hey, where's Josh?

LILY
I have him putting up posters for my
next animal rights group meeting down
at Shriver Jr. High. Gotta catch 'em
while they're young, you know?

SAM
Well, so much for animal rights.

LILY
What's that supposed to mean?

SAM
The way you have him trained you might
as well be wearing a top hat and carrying
a large hoop.

LILY
(laughing)
Shut up!

EMORY DICK, in the background, struggles to catch up to them.

EMORY
Miss Esposito! Miss McPherson!

The two girls stop in the middle of the hall.

LILY
Oh God, not this early in the morning --

SAM
Lily --

They turn to him as he catches up.

SAM & LILY
Morning Emory.

EMORY
Good morning, my lovely and fragrant lady friends. Please
indulge my curiosity for one short moment of your
time this fine day.

SAM
What can we do for you, Emory?

EMORY
Well, you see...ever since I and Miss
April Tuna have been involved in a
sordid, passionate, moist loin-trembling,
earth shattering, headboard rumbling --

LILY
What do you want, Emory?

EMORY
Sorry, I got caught up in my feelings
for the fair and talented Miss Tuna.
Well, ever since we last parted lips,
I've been in desperate need of some help.

SAM
I'll bet.

Lily elbows her.

SAM
What?

EMORY
(quietly)
I need some...womanly advice.

SAM
OhmiGod, Emory...we are NOT going to
be your sex therapists.

EMORY
It's not about our sex life, which I
assure you is completely adequate and
satisfying...I want to get my "baby"
something special.

LILY
Oh...well, how can we help?

EMORY
I need to know what urban hippie cool
chicks -- like yourselves -- desire, in
terms of gifts from their mates. Money
is no object.

Sam laughs.

SAM
Ookaaaay, well, that depends on what
kind of message you want to give her.

Emory stares at her blankly for a moment.

SAM
Okay, are you looking to tell her,
"Hey, I was thinking of you and I thought
you'd like this" or are you looking to
tell her, "Hey, I deliberately set out to
impress you with my chivalrous materialism"?

EMORY
How about a combination of both?

LILY
Emory...why don't you *think* about it
for a little while and get back to us
later.

SAM
And we'll do the same for you.

EMORY
I think I will think about it for a
little while and get back to you ladies
later...since I...seem to have not a
clue what I want to get for my lady
love. Fair thee well, my friends.

Emory struts off, pensive.

SAM
(shouting to Emory)
Good luck!

Sam and Lily watch him and then proceed to Sam's locker.

LILY
Oh my God, I've never seen EMORY so...?

SAM
In love?

LILY
Yeah. And happy!

SAM
If any two people were meant to be
together, it'd be April Tuna and Emory
Dick. Scary as that is.

They laugh.

EMORY rounds the corner and stops dead in his tracks as his mouth drops wide open and he starts to hyperventilate. He sees APRIL TUNA jumping gleefully and smiling widely as she leaps onto another boy, body hugging him awkwardly; the boy smiles and laughs, turning slightly -- it's HARRISON JOHN! After she calms down, April takes his hand and drags Harrison around the corner, neither of them having seen Emory.

Back to EMORY as he takes a step back into the corner, shocked and dejected; his expression turns sour as he starts back down the hall back towards SAM and LILY as Sam stuffs books into her locker, laughing with Lily. Sam spots him, but he storms past them.

SAM
Oh, hey Emory, I thought of something --

EMORY
Forget that I ever asked, Miss McPherson!

Sam and Lily watch as Emory slams the door into the boys' bathroom.

SAM
-- that you...could get...April.
Whoa.

Sam looks at a puzzled Lily in total confusion.