INT. KENNEDY HIGH - OUTSIDE THE LUNCHROOM - DAY
NICOLE waits outside the doors to the lunchroom looking hopeful. VERA KRUPPS walks by, as do a couple of other lunch ladies...then SHAGGY.
Mom -- Shaggy.
Nicole! I was worried...when I got up to go
to work this morning your things were gone.
Yeah, there's a reason for that.
I...I've moved back home.
Yes, you see...I've been thinking about all
of this and well...I have a home, and it's a
home that I'm used to.
This doesn't mean I *don't* want to spend
some time with you, or get to know you and
the rest of my family. It just means that...I
think right now I need to be somewhere
familiar so I can sort out my feelings about
all of this, among other things.
I understand, Nicole. You see...there is a
good reason why things are the way they are.
You seem to understand that now.
You're always welcome to visit. I'm sure Aunt
Tee'll miss you.
You know...I won't miss you.
I won't miss you because I'll get to see you...my
little girl grown up...every day -- doing so good for
She leans in and they hug. Shaggy holds back tears.
Aww, now, now. After a while I'm sure you'll get
sick of seeing me every day.
They break the hug.
(wipes tears from her cheeks)
Well, say hi to Tee for me. I've got to do touch up
after this Gillmore Girls moment here.
You take care of yourself, o.k.?
Shaggy steps back away from Nicole before eventually turning to leave.
Nicole turns towards the direction of the Novak.
One down, one to go.
Nicole starts walking down the hall.
AN ARM pulls her into the open SUPPLY CLOSET.
HARRISON smiles widely and pulls her into a deep, searching kiss. She pushes him away in surprise.
What the hell are you doing?
Where's your sense of spontaneity, Nicole?
Or...did our triste last night crack the
"unbreakable" shell of Nicole Julian?
He spots the horseshoe pin right on her outfit -- right above her left breast.
Wow, I must've *really* tired you out if
you hadn't realized that this clashes with
Nicole's eyes volley between his eyes and his lips. She yanks him down for a kiss and pushes him away harder.
No way. I don't think you have what it
takes to wear me out.
Is that a challenge?
Oh, I *dare* you.
Boxes topple in onto the floor of the closet as Harrison fiercely accepts
INT. KENNEDY HIGH - HALLWAY - SAME
BROOKE walks down the hall and by the supply closet. She startles for a moment when she hears thudding inside, then proceeds. She rounds the corner and finds SAM coming her way.
BROOKE & SAM
Have you seen --
Have you seen Harrison? I think I need
to talk to him.
I think I just need to at least let him know
that I'm happy for him.
You know, it amazes me, Sam, how you could
be so darned stubborn sometimes. You haven't
talked to your *best friend* since the big kiss-off
and the first thing you're going to say to him
is a lie?
Brooke! I *am*! I'm like, totally over it.
I'm with George, he's moved on, everything's
fine. I really don't want to get into this and
besides, I really *do* have to find him, at least
for April Tuna's sake.
Whatever. Wait...what does April Tuna have
to do with this?
I can't say. It's a surprise. Anyway --
you were gonna say something before...?
Oh, yeah -- Nicole. Have you seen her?
Brooke sighs in frustration.
You know, there was a time when Nic and I
were inseparable and we *knew* where the
other one was at all times. These days she's
like a needle in a haystack.
More like a thorn in everyones' sides.
Okay, okay...if I find her, I'll let her know
that you're desperate.
(turns, turns back)
Oh, and Sam --
-- I'm really glad that you're *at least* willing to
talk to him.
Sam nods and continues down the hall as Brooke heads around the corner.
Sam passes the door to the supply closet and hears some rough thudding noises coming from inside. She stops to listen for a moment.
(from inside, between thuds)
Say my name!
(from inside, unrecoginzable to Sam)
Yeah, that's it...yeah! Oh yeah....
Sam's expression drops as she steps back. The thudding stops and she hears rustling inside -- she panics, quickly turns and rushes down the hall, almost in tears.
Sam runs right into GEORGE.
Whoa Sammie, where's the fire?
(masking her upset)
Um, no...nowhere, I was just coming
to find you.
Same here...we've got to get to Tuna's
love fest before she has one of her
Tuna-esque cows. Sammie...you been
No, George, it's just those heinous
allergies. Can't seem to get rid of
Maybe you should take something
Maybe. Come on, let's get go.
Whoa, wait a minute -- you sure you're
Perfectly fine...come on!
She drags George around the corner.
BACK TO the supply closet. The door opens and Harrison peeks out, then steps out. Nicole follows behind him, straightening her jacket.
Well that was fast.
No complaints here.
She breaks out a compact and her lip gloss and starts to reapply.
You *did* say you had to be
Yeah...something I've been working
on for a while now.
As they talk, Brooke comes back around the corner and spots them. She ducks into a corner.
Well. You best get going then.
Yeah...yeah, I should, shouldn't I?
Well...what're you waiting for?
I was...never mind, I know it's too
much to ask.
Well, you never know unless you try.
Well...how long before...well, you know.
You might consider...going public?
Brooke's eyes widen.
Nicole stares at him, then breaks out into laughter.
I know. But why go public when I want you all
to myself? Keep up the facade. It's much more
exciting that way. You don't wanna lose the
magic now, do you?
Brooke slips back around the corner, then starts her way back, feigning a cough. Harrison and Nicole straighten up their posture.
Brooke reaches them.
Hey there, B. Little cancer boy and I here
were having a talk about post-donor
Well can you spare a couple of minutes?
Please? I've really, really got to talk to
If it's about Shaggy, no need to worry.
I've moved back home.
That's fine. But I really need to talk to you.
Run along, Captain America. I'm sure we
can continue our little conversation later.
Brooke and Nicole enter the Novak. Nicole sets up at the mirror.
I really don't have the time for your
constant obsession about my life, Brookie.
Ever since you dumped me for your
would-be step-Spam as your best friend,
I've picked up and moved on. Maybe you
Nicole, just because we're not as close as we
used to be doesn't mean that I don't care
about you, and I'm not letting you ignore me this
time. I can't...it's too heavy.
But before I do get into this, I have to
ask...are you and Harrison, like, dating
Nicole laughs and turns to her.
What on Gwenyth's green earth would make
you ask *that*?
Well, I dunno, when I saw you talking you
Well, you got one thing right -- we were
talking. Besides, why would I risk what little
reputation I have left by bumping uglies with
Brooke stares at her -- she knows she may be lying.
Anyway, spill. What was so urgent that you felt you
absolutely *had* to talk to me now?
I think I know why you were Harrison's
FOCUS on Nicole's expression.
INT. KENNEDY HIGH - FRONT - SAME
LILY waits near the front doors.
JOSH enters, two suit bags hooked over his shoulder.
You were able to get them?
Yeah, but I practically had to drive all the way around
town to find one in your size.
Awww, you're so sweet.
(kisses him sweetly)
Yeah, well, it's past season and there aren't any conventions
in town, so they weren't too hard to find.
Lily looks over Josh's expression.
Baby...is there something wrong?
Josh looks like he's going to say something, but shakes his head.
Nah, forget it.
Come on...if something's bothering you,
you know you can tell me.
Lily...am I whipped?
Where'd you get that idea?
No where in particular...well, Sam
did mention it.
W...well SAM obviously doesn't know
what she's talking about. Why -- do you
feel like I'm too controlling?
No...not really. Well, maybe sometimes I
feel like I'm just doing whatever you want me
to. And I'm not saying that I don't like it...I
just want to feel..."equal", I guess.
I see. Well, I guess I have been making you
into sort of a workhorse.
No, no, it's not that at all, really -- I love what
you have me doing. It gets me off my lazy ass
to actually help people instead of talking
about it. It makes me feel like I have a purpose
in life and makes me feel good about myself in
Really? I make you feel that way?
They look at eachother for a moment.
OhmiGod -- we gotta hurry. We need to get
these things on before April has a fit.
She brushes past him.
Come ON, Josh, let's goooo!
Josh rolls his eyes at the sound of a WHIP cracking.
EXT. KENNEDY HIGH - THE FOREVER TREE STUMP - A LITTLE LATER
HARRISON sits on the tree stump, waiting.
Hey, Em. You're late. Thought you
weren't gonna make it.
I...had some business to attend to.
So...why'd you want me here?
Then...why are we here?
Emory thinks for a moment.
Harrison. Upon further investigation,
it seems that I had erred greatly in my
quest for truth and knowledge concerning --
well, concerning my affairs. I ask that you
accept my humble apologies for slapping
you in the face the other day.
Harrison listens, nodding.
But during my search, I must say that I
found *you*, my friend, to be in a much more
dire situation than I could have ever imagined --
even for myself -- and that you deserve *my*
What are you talking about?
I understand. Talking about it must bring
you great shame.
I'm not following you, Em.
(pats his shoulder)
That's O.K. Just remember. When you're
ready, I'll be there for you.
Good to know, Emory.
Good. So what do you say we grab
some sustenance and perhaps browse
the new science fiction releases at
Um...I'm sorry, I can't.
You have plans?
Just then, SUGAR DADDY creeps up behind Emory and runs a giant black sack over his body, tying him up.
Yeah...you could say that.
INT. KENNEDY HIGH AUDITORIUM
It is complete darkness.
The sound of one of the backstage doors opens.
OhmiGod, y'all -- they're coming!
To your places, people!
How are we supposed to know where our places
are when we can't see a thing?
Most of us were already in place when
April turned the lights out.
It is complete silence.
Josh...I hope that's YOUR hand.
The front doors to the auditorium open, and Harrison, flashlight in hand, enters, as Sugar Daddy carries Emory in on his shoulder. They walk down the aisle.
Unhand me, you heathen ogre!!!
Calm down, Emory, we're almost there --
Put me down, I say! Put me down!
Sugar drops him onto the floor. Harrison switches his flashlight off and helps get him out of the bag.
Oh my God...I'm blind!
You ain't blind, Dick.
It's just dark in here.
Your method of transportation was
most uncalled for.
Yeah, but it'll be worth it -- trust me.
I demand to know where we are.
You'll see...you ready for that truth you
were looking for?
I don't understand.
Harrison flickers his flashlight and all of a sudden the lights in the auditorium go on --
(except for Emory)
-- the STAGE is made up to look exactly like "The Bridge" of the U.S.S. Enterprise, and everybody is dressed in a Star Trek uniform -- well, except for Mary Cherry, who's dressed in a sequined-covered version of a Star Trek uniform. The sign above The Bridge reads "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EMORY!" in Star Trek font. A giant disco ball hangs from the ceiling and reflects "stars".
Emory is completely shocked.
APRIL TUNA comes forth -- her hair and face made over -- and dressed in a dark blue STU.
Emory is all choked up.
I...I don't know what to say.
I thought...you and --
You thought that I was having hot
wild, simian sex with Mr. Harrison
John, when in fact he, along with
a good samaritan team of Kennedy
High's finest, was helping me to hand
craft this birthday bash for my soulmate!
(looking over The Bridge)
But...how'd you...what --
It was easy! As representative of the
student body of our graduating class,
I have clout!
Principal Krupps allowed her to use
the stage. Well, provided that we clean
The girls worked really hard on the finer
details...us guys, we pretty much did the
gruntwork of assembling the pieces.
With big help from Lily, here.
It was my job to find biodegradable and
recyclable materials to use.
And, instead of buying you a cheesy gift
that you'll never use, April thought that it
would mean alot more to you if your friends
banded together to give you something that
money can't buy.
(turns back to Emory)
But I'm also puzzled...Miss Cherry...what is
your role in this?
Well you see, since I wasn't allowed to pay for
someone to construct this whole thing for you
-- which could have been easily done -- I
nonetheless *was* allowed to beam on over
a couple of extra special surprises.
Mary Cherry looks towards the back and waves the guests onto the stage. GEORGE TAKEI and NICHELLE NICHOLS walk out onto The Bridge in full Star Trek Movie uniform. Emory gasps like a little girl.
Takei and Nichols approach Emory.
(shakes his hand)
Happy Birthday, Emory --
Emory drops to his knee and kisses her hand.
No, it is *I* who am chramed, Miss Nichols.
Mr. Takei -- the both of you -- it is an honor
to be in your presence.
Great to be here.
(to Takei and Nichols)
It is a THRILL to have you here, Mr. SULU --
Lieutenant UHURA -- please, join us in
April leads them away Emory towards the rest of the gang, who prepare the cake (decorated with the Federation of Planets symbol) with candles.
(quiet, to Nichols)
We're getting paid for this, right?
BACK to Emory and Harrison.
All this time you were spending with
my fair lady...you were doing this...for
Well, yeah. You didn't honestly think
that April and I...Emory, come on!
In all of my...preoccupation with a
possible adulterous situation, I'd forgotten
that it was my birthday. I...guess I owe
you a second apology for doubting your
Hey, no problem. It was actually pretty
FUN, you know?
The candles are lit on the cake. April comes back.
Time to put out the fire, handsome!
Emory humbly approaches the cake and blows. He needs to blow quite a few times to get the candles out. Everyone claps. He dips his finger right into the cake and licks.
April swings the swivelling Captain's chair in his direction.
Well, Captain -- Sir -- are you not going
to take your seat?
Emory approaches the chair and sits. Everyone assumes their various positions on deck, and waits for his instruction.
Oh, sorry...warp speed ahead.
Aye aye, Captain!
Mary Cherry slides a button on a remote, setting the disco ball to rotate and Star Trekkian music to play.
Sam spots Harrison as George, Lily, and Josh slice up the cake, handing pieces to Carmen to give out to the Bring Back Freaks and Geeks Club members. Harrison looks up for a moment and catches her stare. He quickly looks down and continues what he's doing. Sam can't take it anymore and slips away.
Sam -- Sam!
He rushes to follow her.
SAM rushes through
THE HALLWAY, with George in the background.
Sammie, wait up --
When he catches up to her, he sees that she's struggling very hard not to cry.
Sam. Come on. This has gone on long
enough. Now I know something's wrong.
Come on. You can tell me.
A few tears make it out of Sam's eyes, but she brushes them away. She refuses to look George in the eyes.
By now, George is extremely frustrated. He sighs.
Well, if you can't, you can't.
Just like I can't.
I can't do this, Sam. As much as I care for
you...I can't keep going on like this. You're
obviously in alot of pain...or something...but
you don't trust me enough to come clean
about what's bothering you.
I trust you --
But you just won't tell me what's going on.
Look...you need me right now. That, I know
Sam chokes at his words.
I don't know what I need...but all I know is
that I want to be left alone. I need some
time to chill, that's all.
There is a short silence as George looks away.
It pains me to see you this way...I really do
care about you, Sam. Alot.
I know you do.
But...if you need to be left alone, that's O.K.
with me. In fact...I think it might be best if
we did cool off for awhile.
Sam looks up -- the dam's about to break.
You're breaking up with me?
"Breaking up" seems way too harsh, I think.
Temporary hiatus maybe a bit better.
Sounds more like a cancellation.
It's not like that, Sam. You need time to get
over whatever it is you're not telling me. Me...
well, it doesn't matter. I'll be O.K.
George touches her cheek with his fingertips.
I'll see you around, Sam.
George dejectedly leaves her standing in the hall, tears now flowing freely down her face.
(through the tears)
This isn't happening!
INT. KENNEDY HIGH - THE NOVAK
THIS isn't happening!
I know it's a shock --
No, a shock would be getting to school
and realizing that your slingbacks don't
match your outfit, this -- THIS is a *big*
laugh because it isn't true.
It IS, Nicole. I'd swear by it. Your
aunt -- the Miss Glass doppelganger -- she
showed me a picture and I swear to GOD...it's
He's your brother.
No. He's not -- and I'll prove it. A DNA test
would clear this horrifying speculation away.
Even if you did, it'd only prove that you
ARE his sister. Half-sister. Nicole, I
recognized the picture. It was him.
I think your memory's as cloudy as your
eyesight. Harrison's father left a long, LONG
time ago --
-- but I still remember what he looked
like. Not only that, but your Aunt Tee
*told* me about this guy...he fits the
description of Harrison's father. I mean,
how *likely* is it that the man who's your
father had the same strange name as
Harrison's dad AND you would turn out
to be Harrison's bone marrow match?
Nicole looks absolutely floored as she sits down on the round pouf. She stares at the floor.
Look...I know how you are about your
pride and everything. I swear -- I won't
tell anyone. But...what are *you* going to
do about this?
Nicole's expression melts as she composes herself and straightens her back.
I guess there's only one thing *to* do.
INT. KENNEDY HIGH - HALLWAY/HARRISON'S LOCKER
HARRISON fishes in his locker for something. In the background, NICOLE comes out from a corner and her head turns -- she spots him and struts up to him. He smiles widely.
Hey beautiful --
Can the gushing compliments. I'm not here
on an intimacy call. In fact, I'm here to
close a door that should've never been
Harrison looks around nervously -- no one else is around.
Wh...what're you doing, Nic --
Yeah, hi, WAKE UP from those white
picket fantasies you have and smell the
Starbucks, Zitmaster -- last night was a
favor to the poor little virgin who was too
pathetic to ever get any action from
someone who actually cared.
S...so it didn't mean anything to you.
Oh, it meant something, all right.
It meant that I now have to live the
rest of my days wretching over the
thought of having slept with a complete
loser who gives a new meaning to
"jumping the gun".
Harrison looks like he's about to cry.
Don't be a fool, Harrison -- you don't
honestly believe that we could've
actually been anything more than two
desperate people feeding off of eachothers'
weaknesses, do you?
And another thing, "stud" -- if word
ever gets out that I even breathed the
same stale air as you do...you'll be
wishing you'd never found me this
Well -- I guess it's back to the hand
for ya, my little -- oh, I *do* emphasize
"little" -- Lone Ranger.
She turns and struts down the hall.
FOCUS on HARRISON: A few tears make it down his face. He leans against the lockers as he tries to comprehend what just happened.
OVER to NICOLE as she makes it down the hall quickly and turns the corner. She leans her back against the wall and looks up -- her bottom lip starts to quiver and her expression melts as she can't hold back the tears anymore.
She then cries harder than she's ever had before.
FADE TO BLACK
(a.k.a. "THIS ISN'T HAPPENING")
written/scripted by John Andrew
SUGGESTED MUSIC (Edited Verisons of):
Star Trek: The Soundtrack (Harrison's Dream/Emory's Birthday)
"Careless Whisper" by George Michael (Emory's Lament)
"Thank You" by Dido (Harrison and Nicole's Theme)
"I've Never Been to Me" by Vivian Chow (Emory & April Conflict/Finale/Theme/Nicole's Lament)
© MARCH 2001
On the next Popular by John Andrew:
(a.k.a. "HE AIN'T HEAVY...HE'S MY BROTHER")
Sam and Harrison finally talk...will they grow closer, or further apart?. A plan to get back at Nicole goes terribly awry.