Disclaimer: I dun own DBZ though God knows I'd like to. Veggie-chan… XD ((drools)) I also don't own Douglas Adams' whale or any other anime/show/book/whatever which might get mentioned (or pop into existence) in this story. The only things I own are Bo, Zar, and Mike and any other thing that comes trouncing out of my creative little mind and onto the pages presented here for your viewing entertainment. That's all this is though. Entertainment. Both for me and for you. So you be entertained now, ya hear? And dun go suing me or nothing…
Author Notes: This will be (hopefully) the only author's note in the whole fic, so bear with me 'cause it's long. To make up for that, the chapter is really long too. XD
First off, about that, I'm not doing any ranting 'n stuff in author notes in this fic. I've decided to keep this fic as clean as possible, just pure unadulterated fanfiction. For author notes and rants and other stuff, check out my livejournal (the link is on my profile, under 'homepage'). You can also talk to me there and suggest stuff to happen in the story and characters to appear from other anime and stuff, etc. So do that. I like talking to you people.
Also, no mailing lists for this fic. Just stick me on your author alert thingie or check my livejournal for updates.
Thirdly, this is a sequel. If you've not read the first, then you're going to be very confused. Very. I'll try to minimize that confusion somewhat by explaining stuff on the way, but you'd still be better off having read my first fic, Another Boring Day… NOT!
Now, I've grown up since ABDN! (after all it has been over a year and a half) so things'll be a wee bit more mature in this fic. Not so much as to destroy the humor and stuff, but there will be not as much swearing as I've realized I was a tad bit more prolific with it in the first than I should've been. And seeing as how my character's supposed to be eighteen-years-old… she herself could be somewhat improved upon.
Also, I've done away with the Japanese words that I subbed in in the first. I think that was stupid of me and it made reading the fic difficult. Characters will still use acceptable words that many fanfic readers know already, such as 'onna', 'baka', 'Kami', and the honorifics attached to names and stuff.
Oh, and… Happy New Year! XD I felt like this would be a good New Years present to you all, so here it is!
Okay, now that that's all done: I hope you enjoy this fic as much as you said you enjoyed the first. Now, without any further ado…
Boredom is Relative
:: 'down' is a long way to fall ::
I opened my eyes and I was falling through an endless sky of blue. It was a little disorienting, you might say. Fluffy white clouds were shooting by me and below me lay a vast expanse of ground, slowly but steadily drawing closer and promising a painful landing. I glanced to my left and saw two other bodies falling nearby. My eyes stung from the wind that was howling past me though and so I couldn't make out who they were but that was okay. I already knew. Squeezing shut my eyes, I thanked God I wasn't alone.
Wait. Freeze frame.
I know who they are but do you?
For that matter, do you know who I am?
If you don't, let me explain:
My name's Bouke, Bo for short. I'm falling through the sky right now above Earth, as you might have guessed. What you might not have guessed though, is that this is not your Earth. This is the Earth of the Dragonball Z universe. I'm here with my brother and my friend. To make the long story of how we got here short: somehow, some people from the Dragonball Z universe came to our world, and when we found the dragonballs to send them back, my brother, my friend and I used our remaining wishes to follow them back.
Okay, now that that's done, back to the falling.
The ground rushed up at me as the speed of my descent increased at a scary and insane rate and I was suddenly reminded for a moment of the falling sperm whale in one of Douglas Adams' books. I wonder if it will be friends with me? The last thought of the whale echoed through my head as I braced myself for impact.
The pain finally subsided somewhat as the ocean of black quietly faded to a bright blue with a flaming white light in the center of it. I realized my eyes were wide open and I was squinting up at a sun framed by puffy white clouds. I quickly shut my eyes against the brightness as it was only amplifying the long drumbeat that crashed through my skull. "God, I have a splitting headache," I moaned, sitting up and wrapping my arms around my head. The rest of my body felt like a giant had kneaded me like I was bread dough and I wasn't surprised, seeing as I had fallen from such an altitude.
"I feel like someone split my head open, broke my body into a million pieces and then super glued it all back together." I opened my eyes a crack, enough to see that Mike was curled up into a fetal besides me, his own arms hugging his head in a futile attempt to quell his own pain.
"I feel great!" Out of the corner of my eye, I espied my little brother Zaretu, Zar for short, bouncing around through the small forest clearing happily.
"That bastard son of my parents," I muttered to myself. "Why does he get all the luck?"
"It's probably 'cause he's younger and so his body can adjust to physical changes easier," Mike replied weakly, sitting up and peering around the clearing.
"Fuck that. I don't call falling hundreds of feet out of the air 'physical changes'. That bastard's doing it to spite me. Zar! When I get better, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you!" I growled as loud as I could without further hurting my aching head. Then a thought occurred to me. "Mike? Why the hell aren't we dead?"
"Probably our new Saiyan bodies were better able to handle the impact better than normal human bodies," Mike groaned out as he put his glasses onto his face where they hung crooked from his nose. "God knows we've seen Goku and Vegeta handle similar cases hundreds of times before."
Oh, yeah. I didn't mention it to you earlier, but along with wishing to get sent to the Dragonball Z universe, we wished to become Saiyans. If you don't know what they are though, you have no, I repeat, no business being here.
I heard Zar humming happily as he scampered around the clearing we had landed in and the noise he was making made my head throb uncomfortably. "Bro, can it," I growled.
"Make me," he cackled, his eyes twinkling mischievously.
"Oh, be sure; I will."
"That's if you can catch me first!" A huge grin was splayed across his face and I felt like getting up and strangling him.
"I'm faster than I look, brat."
"It's all in your mind." He blew a raspberry.
"The mind can be a very powerful weapon," I snarled. All the while we had been arguing, the pain throughout my body had been ebbing, little by little, and as Zar approached me to prove his point, my eyes snapped open and my hand flew out, reaching for the nearest part of his body to grasp so I could hold him still. The part closest to me as he turned to flee happened to be his newly grown tail. He yowled in pain as I held it fast when he burst away, causing the tender appendage to be stretched.
"My tail!" he howled, tears streaming from his eyes. He turned to attack me when he stood, frozen, for a moment as the fact dawned on him. "My tail!" He dove for the furry object and hugged it close. "I have a tail! Yay!"
I noticed another brown furred appendage waving in the corner of my vision and I turned my head to observe my own tail. "I have one too!" I called out, completely amazed by this turn of events.
Mike looked at his own tail with no surprise apparent in his expression. "Well, we did wish to be Saiyans and Saiyans do have tails, if you would care to remember." He stood up and brushed off his pants.
"I gotta try to use my ki!" I jumped to my feet and took up a familiar position. "Big Bang Attack!" I yelled, copying Vegeta's movements that I had studied on the television screen for many hours one boring Saturday.
To my disappointment though, nothing happened. "What the fuck?" I said angrily.
"Well, first of all, your stance was horrible," Mike said, pushing his glasses up on his nose and then looking at them cross-eyed in irritation at their crookedness. His eyes refocused on me though and he continued, saying, "Secondly, although we wished to be Saiyans, we did not mention anything about raising our ki."
"What?" I stared at him, completely shocked. "You're not joking, are you?"
"So I have the same level of ki as when I was human?"
"That would be a logical assumption."
"That's so stupid!" I growled, punching a nearby tree. I shrieked slightly in the pain that ensued and then nursed my now wounded hand. With a sigh, I announced, "It's true…"
"You doubted me?" Mike looked hurt.
"Yeah, sorry." Then I took on the hurt tone. "If you knew, Mike, why didn't you tell me when I was making the wish?"
"I didn't think of it then." He looked to the ground. "Sorry."
I sighed. "This sucks. This really sucks."
Oblivious to our slight dilemma, Zar announced "I'm hungry!" from where he had collapsed on the forest floor to pet his new tail. Eight-year-olds are only amused by so little but when they are amused, they are really amused.
"Food does sound like a good idea," Mike admitted.
"Feed yourselves," I said sullenly. "Go hunt down a deer or something."
"Actually, I was kind of thinking of some bananas…"
"Bananas sound awesome!" Zar bounced up. "Where are they?"
"No where around here," I answered, attempting to crush his hopes.
"But I want some bananas."
"Well, you aren't gonna get any."
"I wonder where some bananas would be…" Mike pondered out loud.
"C'mon, Mike. Why do you two want bananas?" I asked, "There's nothing special about them. I'd rather have Chinese food or maybe a huge plate of nachos… or both." Now that they had mentioned food, I found that I was really hungry. I bet that I could have eaten a whole elephant at the moment and I wasn't even repulsed at the thought of eating an elephant. Actually, it sounded really good…
Mike explained his reasoning. "We're probably connecting the monkey-like tail to the common thought that monkeys like bananas. Our subconscious mind is then telling us we need bananas now that we more closely resemble unevolved primates."
"If we're going to end up eating bananas, I'd like mine on ice cream with chocolate sauce, whipped cream and a few cherries," I said dryly.
"We should set out in search of sustenance."
"Sustenance?" Zar asked, staring at Mike with an expression that said I'm-so-going-to-leave-you-behind-while-you're-sleeping.
"Sustenance is a really fancy word for food," I said.
"Then, yeah. Let's go," Zar agreed. We stood in the clearing for a few minutes in silence as Zar tore apart dead leaves that had fallen to the ground while he waited for us to get going. Finally, he asked, "Are we going?"
"Yeah, I guess," I answered and asked Mike, "What direction?"
He shrugged. "How am I supposed to know?"
"You seem to have a lot of the answers today, like most days. I assumed you might have the answer to that one too."
Mike wrinkled his nose to shift his glasses' position on his nose while saying, "Assumptions are one of the major flaws of the human race."
"Ah! But no longer human, am I."
I grinned and flashed a 'Victory' sign. "Yoda's cool!"
"I don't know, Bo… He's short, green and a little bit freakish…"
"Yoda is your god!" I said, pointing a finger at Mike. "Admit it."
"Food?" Zar asked hopefully.
"We really should eat," Mike agreed as his stomach rumbled loudly.
"Don't you dare try to change the topic of conversation!" But his back was turn as he and Zar exited the forest clearing. Defiantly, I called out, "I'm not moving from this spot until you come back here and apologize!"
There was no reply from the surrounding foliage.
And still no reply.
"Mike?" I saw a large pair of red eyes staring at me from a group of heavily leafed tree branches. I lifted a clenched fist (my uninjured one) up and shook it angrily at the tree. "Don't you be trying to scare me, you good-for-nothing male!"
In response, a large reptilian head, a little bigger than my own, popped out of the green leaves and flicked its tongue out at me, eyeing me hungrily.
That was it. Letting loose a scream of dismay, I took off running after my friend and my brother.
Due to my fear, I caught up with the two males quickly and Mike turned to give me a patronizing look. "Awh, did big, brave Bo get scared?"
Before I opened my mouth to ask, Zar answered. "We could hear you."
"You were screaming like a banshee in heat." Mike smirked.
"Another word and I will cut both your tongues out," I fumed.
Zar rolled his eyes and skipped ahead, ignoring me. Mike snorted. "Not likely."
"Whatever," I said in an exasperated tone, giving up. "Where are we going?"
"I dunno." Mike shrugged. "I figured we should just walk in a direction. It's better than just standing around doing nothing. We might even find some fo-"
As if God himself had heard Mike speaking (which in the Dragonball Z universe was entirely possible) my little brother exclaimed, "Hey! Look! Berries!" He dashed towards a shallow stream, leapt over it and landed in the middle of a large group of bushes. I watched him go and thought to myself and God, There better be thorns in there. Plenty of them.
"Zar, wait! They might be poisonous!" Mike cried out, running after the boy, getting himself entirely soaked in the process as he splashed through the stream.
That could work too, I thought, heaving a sigh of frustration as I took off my shoes and socks so I could follow the guys. I shook my head and muttered, "Males…" as I made my way carefully across the stream, only managing to get my toes wet on the way. On the other side, I sat down on a large, flat rock and dried off my feet on my pant legs, then put on my socks and shoes.
I turned to look at Mike and Zar only to find them pigging out on a hoard of blackberries. Mike noticed my disgusted stare and extended a stained hand to me, a few berries nestled in his palm. "Want some?"
"I'll give you a clue: I hate anything that ends with the word 'berry'," I replied simply.
He blinked and then shrugged, tossing the plump morsels into his mouth. "Well, you don't know what you're missing out on then." He grinned at me with juice-stained teeth.
"I don't know, and I don't care." I stretched out on the rock, soaking up the sun that managed to break through the leafy cover of the forest to illuminate the stream and the area surrounding it. I soon became drowsy and lethargic from the warmth and the steady burbling of the stream and eventually I dosed off, quietly slipping into the welcoming embrace of sleep.
I awoke some time later to the feeling of a clammy thing on my face. I opened one eye timidly and found myself staring into the unblinking gaze of a small frog, sitting on my cheek. I was about to howl in outrage when I heard my younger brother snickering somewhere off to the right of me. The frog blocked my view of him but I would have bet all of my money that the boy was hiding in the bushes, waiting. I realized that what I felt like doing, lose my temper and flip out, was exactly what he wanted me to do. So I decided to do the opposite.
I picked the frog off my face, sat up and set the little creature down on my knee, petting its damp, cool skin with my forefinger. Mike looked over at me and grinned slightly. "Figuring out the game finally?" he asked.
"I've known it. I just liked to play along," I lied as I watched my brother sullenly slink out from the bushes, giving me an evil glare. Mike gave me a knowing look as he mouthed the word "bullshit." I grinned back and put a finger over my lips.
He shook his head as he stood and stretched. "I take it we'll be off now?"
I looked up at the sky. "Yeah, we probably have a few more hours of daylight left."
"Are we going to a hotel?" Zar asked.
"Of course not, baka." I laughed.
Mike was a little bit more sensitive in his reply. "We're in the wilderness. There are no hotels. Also, we don't have any money; at least, none that the people of this universe will think has any value. We'll probably end up sleeping in some clearing somewhere and, when we reach a city, on a park bench or in a homeless shelter."
"What? A homeless shelter?" Zar's eyes widened to an enormous size and he stared at Mike and me in amazement. "You must be shitting me!"
"We shit you not," I answered as I slide off the rock and set the frog back down its warm surface. Then I reached over and smacked Zar upside the head. "Don't swear," I said.
At my feet, the frog stared up at me for a moment, blinked and announced, "kero kero," then hopped off the rock and into the bushes.
"Hey! That frog just ribbited Japanese style!" I said, my mouth hanging open as I stared at the bushes incredulously.
But my livid brother was not to be deterred. "I am not sleeping on the ground, on a park bench or in a smelly, old homeless shelter! And you can't make me!" His face was suffused with blood and spittle flecked his chin.
"There's no other choice," Mike pointed out calmly.
"Zar, if you say one more about 'I won't do this,' 'I won't do that,' I'm gonna track down the dragonballs of this world and wish you back to our own. Do I make myself clear?" I said in a low, firm voice.
Suddenly, his eyes gleamed as if he had been struck by an idea, but the moment passed and he bowed his head in acceptance. "Yeah." I glared at the little guy with suspicion. It was not like him to give up without a fight, sometimes even a war. I had a feeling that this was not the end of the argument but there were other things to think about.
"Well, if we're all agreed now," I glared at him, daring him to state otherwise. Unfortunately, he did not, "we should try to find a shelter for the night. Preferably a cave or something."
"Bo, you do realize that this is real life?" Mike asked me, giving me an indefinable look.
"Of course I do. What do you think I am? Stupid?"
"No, it's just, well, in real life there's usually no convenient cave situated right by the main characters when they need one, as opposed to fiction."
"But there's always a cave!" I told him. "Fiction tells the truth! Just you watch! When we find a cave, I'm gonna say 'I told you so!'"
"You do realize that saying fiction is truth is an oxymoron, right?" Mike asked as he gave me a look that said oh-God-you're-stupid.
"Be quiet. You just don't want to admit that I'm right and you're wrong."
Mike rolled his eyes at my immaturity. "You're almost as bad as your brother."
Ignoring him, I started walking in the first direction my feet took me and they followed behind me as I started our blundering search through the woods for a suitable nighttime shelter.