Title- Gain Control Again
Authors- Dame Flame and pepsicolagurl
Rating- PG13. 'Cause the language is bad, but nothing you haven't heard before.
Disclaimer- Let's say it together, now. Chapter One. There'll be a pop quiz later. Make sure your number two pencils are nice and sharp.
Author's Notes- Enjoy and let us know what you think. This is the last part of this story, and the sequel will follow. Thanks to everyone that reviewed (we really appreciated it), and we hope that you're there for the next time around. And if you have any questions for us about this story, before the sequel comes about, email either one of us (pepsicolagurl's email can be found under the pen name...well, pepsicolagurl).
Spoilers- Everything. Specifically Lost Son and the rest of season three.
Gain Control Again
And like a lighthouse you must stand alone
Landmark a safe journey's end
No matter what sea I've been sailing on
I'll always come back home again
Out on the road that lies before me
There are some turns where I will spin
I only hope that you can hold me now
'Til I gain control again
The last few weeks had been nothing but improvement in his life. Very slowly, he had started to piece together a life for himself. He had sold his old motorcycle, not wanting to get anywhere near the damned thing, let alone climb on and take off somewhere. He thought that maybe, one day, when he remembered everything, he might get another, but now wasn't the time. Instead, with the money that he had received from the sale, and the money that his parents had graciously given him, he bought himself a small car, knowing that it would be good enough for the moment. He had gone in for another driver's license and passed not only the written but the road test with flying colors. There were just some things that you didn't forget.
After speaking with the lawyer that was in charge of Mary's estate, he had purchased the house although most of her things were taken out of it. He had finally found out that while she liked to speak of his son when she had been alive, her son Marshall had died awhile back, and her will left everything to charity and other various family members that had never taken the time out to see her. They had allowed him to go through her things and pick out what he wanted to keep from the house, and they had gotten rid of the rest. He still slept in the guest bedroom, however. That hadn't changed.
Every now and then, he had flashes of his previous life, but never enough to really give him any sort of clue. His work with the psychiatrist has helped him somewhat. After the first session, he had been put on an anti-depressant to help counteract his radical mood swings, although the doctor had to admit that once his memories came back, there was a ninety percent chance that he could be slowly taken off of them. Although he didn't like the idea of discussing his life with a stranger, he knew that it was helping, and they had even talked about being put under hypnosis soon, to see if that would help bring back his memories. He had likened himself to a rape victim, although it wasn't his dignity that was taken away from him because of one damned moment, it was his life that was taken.
And he had finally cleared things up with Calleigh, apologizing for what had happened the day that Mary had passed away. After that, it was like nothing had ever happened. She still tried to help him recover his memories, and because he had asked, she had loaned him numerous copies of forensics magazines and books, which he devoured quickly, wanting to learn everything he could about what he used to do.
The press had died down, as well. When the first story broke, it was like everyone from every major news organization had descended upon Miami. Not only because of him, but because of the case. Calleigh and Ryan had made quick work of it, once they had questioned their suspects at the state funded home. Their witness had directed the focus of the investigation towards two medical students, and an actual doctor, all of whom had pulled similar stunts without knowing about the others doing the same. The members of the press left soon after that, when they realized that they weren't about to get their exclusive from Tim Speedle. His lips were sealed when it came to what happened.
He knew he would never truly be the Tim Speedle that everyone knew. Too much had happened to him since he had been that person. But they had come to accept the fact that who he was now was just as good as who he had been before. He had finally taken up the offer of being shown around the crime lab, and although he had a few flashes of recognition, he couldn't be sure that he really remembered the place as well as he should have. He had Eric Delko had gone out together a few times to a sports bar, what they called neutral ground, and were beginning to build their friendship back up. Alexx had invited him over for dinner a few times, and he had spent time with her children, remembering the day that he had helped put the swingset in the back yard together with her husband. He had regular meetings with Horatio about the progress that he was making with the psychiatrist. He had even gone out with Ryan Wolfe a few times, even though he had never known the man before.
Things were beginning to get better for him, but everyone knew that he had to regain his memories before everything could be considered normal again. But that was okay, he had come to accept that. It wasn't the end of the world, not remembering everything. But he would remember eventually, he knew that for sure.
He still kept Mary's garden alive. It had become something of a hobby to him, and he had even expanded it since her death, making it a little larger and a little brighter. He didn't exactly have a green thumb, but nothing had died since he had planted anything new. He still read anything he could get his hands on, and most of the time, he ignored the television set in the living room. He had a feeling that he never watched that much to begin with. He cooked almost every night, even if it was usually just for himself. The only thing he hadn't done was taken up Calleigh's offer to take him out to a shooting gallery, so that when he did eventually get back to work, he would re-qualify with a weapon. He just wasn't ready to have a gun in his hand.
And the truth was, he liked who he had become. It was a strange thought, he knew that, but it was also true. He liked the Tim Speedle that he had become, and he was beginning to like the Tim Speedle that he used to be. It was somewhat of a relief, and something that made his psychiatrist happy to hear.
Yeah, things weren't so bad, and he had a feeling that they were only going to get better.