Yusuke Urameshi couldn't believe it. His mother had woke him up at some early hour in the morning. At first, he thought she had woke him up to get ready for school. He wouldn't have been able to believe that, either, really, since his mother was usually still in bed when he woke up to go to school (or in most cases, get up around school time and goof off). He soon found out that it wasn't a school day and that his mother had woke him up for some other reason. Another thing, he could tell she was drunk.
'REALLY drunk,' he thought.
"Yushuke! Yushuke! Are yous up?" Atsuko asked.
"For the eighth time, yes!" Yusuke shouted.
He was wondering when his mother would stop shaking him and finally get to the reason why she had woke him up. He was getting ready to just ignore his mother and go back to sleep.
"I foundish him! I've finallyish foundish shhhim!" Atsuko laughed.
Yusuke yawned, "Found who?"
"Shyour fasher!" Atsuko exclaimed.
'Oh man. Not again,' Yusuke thought.
He sighed as memories of his mother claiming she found his father flooded his head. His immediate thoughts went to three separate instances that occurred when he was younger. There was that time his mother almost convinced him when he was ten years old, that his father was some hobo dressed in a clown suit. That is until he found out that the hobo was stealing money from her, upon which he promptly beat the living daylights out of the stupid hobo clown. He never saw him again.
Then, there was that time his mother told him that his father was some American hero that dressed like a bat. Yusuke didn't even bother listening to his mother on that one for two reasons. First, his mother had never been to America. Second, the American hero that dressed like a bat was mainly urban legend, anyway. Luckily for him, she passed out soon afterward.
Not long after that, his mother went on and on about how his father was a plumber going by the name of Mario. Of course, she had been at the arcade at the time and had been playing some game or another. Yusuke automatically assumed that she had drank too much and played a game too much. He wasn't sure which game because the game machine itself was a plain red. Also, his mother couldn't play for a few seconds without getting a game over.
Yusuke snapped out of his flashbacks long enough to realize his mother had been talking to him.
"Okay, Yushuke! Let'sh go shee yous fasher," Atsuko announced.
"What?" Yusuke replied.
The word had barely left his mouth when his mother grabbed him by the ear and dragged him outside to the car. The car was old and junky. It was clear that it hadn't been driven in quite some time and in Yusuke's mind, for good reason. Atsuko practically threw her son into the dirty automobile and got in the driver's seat. Yusuke looked as though he was going to go into a state of shock.
'She's not actually going to... drive, is she? This is a nightmare! Just a nightmare... Wake up, wake up, wake up...' he thought.
Unfortunately for Yusuke, it wasn't a nightmare. It was also unfortunate for him that his mother actually managed to start the car and take off down the streets of the city. Yusuke looked pale as the car was driven by his drunken mother. There were several times she drove on the wrong side of the road, drove off the road, and nearly hit things such as other passing vehicles, trees, and sign posts.
"M-mom... Mom... MOM!" Yusuke screamed.
"Wh... Whatish, shear?" Atsuko mumbled.
Yusuke pointed wildly to the truck they were about to run into, "TRUCK! TRUCK!!!!!"
Atsuko giggled and the car veered away from the truck just in time. Yusuke breathed a sigh of relief.
'I thought I was going to end up as a ghost again. Next time, I might not be so lucky, though. I better come up with some kind of plan of our escape if this old junker crashes,' he thought.
Normally, Yusuke wasn't one to be scared easily and he hardly ever planned things out. However, Atsuko's driving was bad enough to cause anyone's normal behavior to be drastically changed, if only temporarily. After an hour of driving, Yusuke had the courage to take his eyes off the road for a few seconds to see where they were. It looked like... Tokyo?
'Oh man... We're going to get lost. We're going to get hurt. We're going to be in so much trouble. My mom is insane!' his thoughts raced.
A while later, they drove into a place called Nerima. His mother finally stopped the car in somebody's yard. She got out of the car and dragging Yusuke, stopped in front of the house. She was greeted by a middle-aged man. Yusuke was so relieved to be out of the car that he didn't try to stop his mother.
"Shello! Ish dis shuh Tender reshidenshe?" Atsuko questioned.
"Tender?" the middle-aged man wondered out loud.
Then, his face dawned a look of realization, "Oh, you mean, Tendo!"
The man's face paled, "Look, lady, I have nothing to do with them! They're over there! Leave me in peace!"
He withdrew into his house. Atsuko merrily skipped, with Yusuke in tow, to the Tendo residence. A young, beautiful woman with long, brown hair answered the door. Atsuko was a giggling mess by now and was leaning on Yusuke just to prevent from falling down. Yusuke looked beyond irritated.
"Shello, shello!" Atsuko laughed.
"Oh, hello!" the young woman greeted.
She looked at Atsuko and Yusuke with a puzzled look, "I don't believe we've met before."
"Heh heh. Right. Sorry for bothering you. It was... a mistake! Yeah! A mistake! We're going, now! C'mon, mother," Yusuke insisted.
His voice was nervous and when he said the word 'mother' he said it in an almost venomous tone.
"No, no. Yushuke... Shtay... We're... ish... Shlooking for shomebody," Atsuko explained.
The young woman smiled, "Oh? Well, it wouldn't be very polite of me not to invite you in, then. Come in, come in. Would you like some tea? Who are you looking for?"
"Sh... sake, niiiishe... Shoun... Shlooking for Shoun Tender," Atsuko answered.
"I think you've had enough sake," Yusuke muttered as he was dragged inside by his mother.
"Father? That's odd. People usually don't ask for him. Well, I'm sure its a pleasant change, anyway. I'm Kasumi Tendo," Kasumi said.
"Nishe to meet yous, Kashumi. I'mish Atshuko and dis my shon, Yushuke," Atsuko replied.
Yusuke had seated himself. Atsuko was holding a potted plant, now. Yusuke sighed and put the potted plant back where it belonged.
"I'll go get, father," Kasumi told them.
She walked away thinking that Atsuko was such a nice, funny lady.
"I can't believe you," Yusuke grumbled.
"Hmm?" Atsuko murmured.
Yusuke glared at his mother, but figured she wouldn't notice if he said anything more, anyway.
'I can't believe she dragged me all the way to this strange place, to this strange home, to see these complete strangers! I can't believe I actually let her do it, too!' he thought.
Two men came into the room. The man with long, black hair spoke, first, "I take it you wanted to see me?"
"Shoun!" Atsuko exclaimed.
She jumped up out of her seat and latched onto the man, presumably named Soun. Kasumi came in with tea at that moment and nearly dropped the tray in surprise.
"Oh my! Father, do you know her?" she questioned.
The other man looked just as surprised and it was obvious that he wanted to know the same thing. Soun's hands shot up in the air as if he was being held at gun point.
"No! I've never seen her before in my life! I swear it!" he shouted.
Yusuke was surprised by his mother's actions as well. He stood up and tried to pry his mother off Soun, but Atsuko had an iron-grip on the poor man.
"Can't... breathe," Soun gasped.
"Oh, Shoun, shilly. Don't yous reshamember me? Atshuko Urashameshi?" Atsuko giggled.
"No," Soun coughed.
Atsuko's eyes began to up and then, she cried loudly. The good thing was that she had let go of Soun. This caused Yusuke to stumble backwards, but he was able to regain his footing sure enough.
"But... whatish about yous shon, Yushuke?" Atsuko bawled.
Kasumi frowned, "Oh dear."
"I don't know what you're talking about! I don't have a son!" Soun insisted.
Yusuke's irritation only grew, "That's it, mom! We're leaving! You're too drunk to even know what the heck you're saying!"
"Dis not shrue!" Atsuko hiccuped.
Yusuke started to drag his mother outside, but he stopped when another girl came into the room. She looked like she was younger than Kasumi and had short, brown hair.
"What's all the commotion in here about?" she asked.
Her gaze seemed to pierce through everyone in the room.
"Uhh... Saotome, help me out here," Soun muttered.
The other man, presumably named Saotome, was already sneaking away.
"And where do you think you're going, Mr. Saotome? Let me guess, this is your doing again, isn't it?" the girl questioned.
"Honestly, I've never seen these two before!" Mr. Saotome defended.
The girl's attention turned to Atsuko and Yusuke.
"Its all just a misunderstanding. My mom is drunk. I'm sorry that we've bothered you. She seems to think that... Mr. Tendo is my father or something. I'm just going to be going, now. Again, sorry," Yusuke explained.
"But... he dis yous fasher!" Atsuko whined.
"Oh, this is interesting. Have a seat... umm...," the girl started.
"Yusuke," Yusuke stated.
"Well, have a seat, Yusuke, and your mother, too. Let's get to the bottom of this," the girl said.
"But there's nothing to get to the bottom to! My mother is drunk! End of story! I want to go home!" Yusuke growled.
He sat down with his mother, anyway.
"Grumpy much? Just calm down. Let's see what your mother has to say," the girl stated.
"I shay... dat Shoun dis Yushuke's fasher!" Atsuko proclaimed.
She collapsed into a fit of giggles and then she latched herself onto Soun again. Yusuke didn't bother getting up. Soun's hands once again shot up into the air.
"And why do you think that?" the girl asked.
"Cush... Shoun and me... hadish shex!" Atsuko announced.
The girl's face shifted to something of a neutral expression. Mr. Saotome and Soun's eyes seemed to bug out of their heads. Yusuke was mildly shocked at his mother's blunt statement. Kasumi only blinked a few times.
"Where?" the girl questioned.
"NABIKI! How can you ask something like that?" Soun shrieked.
The girl, Nabiki ignored her father.
"At shuh bar... in shuh car," Atsuko mumbled.
She looked like she was about to fall asleep. Nabiki handed her some tea. Atsuko grabbed it, thinking it was sake, and downed it.
"Ick... weakest sake ever," she muttered under her breath.
Yusuke simply shook his head at his mother. He looked a bit sleepy himself, but the primary expression on his face was that of annoyance.
'This better hurry up. I want to go home,' he thought.
"Which bar?" Nabiki queried.
Atsuko named a bar and Soun admitted to having been there a few times before. He denied having even seen Atsuko there, though. Then, another girl came into the room. She looked younger than Nabiki and had short, dark hair. She looked around, noticing everyone gathered in the room, "Umm... what's going on?"
Nabiki grinned, "Hello, Akane. Good of you to join us. It seems this boy, Yusuke... is having a small family problem. You see, his mother seems to think that our dad is Yusuke's father."
Akane blinked, "Oh."
Nabiki stared blankly at Akane for a moment. Then...
"WHAT?" Akane shrieked.
She looked at Soun with wide eyes.
"Don't look at me! I have no idea why this woman thinks that I'm this boy's father! I've never seen her or this kid before in my entire life up until this point!" Soun cried.
"Why don't you have a seat, Akane," Nabiki suggested.
Akane sat down, turning her head towards Yusuke and Atsuko. She was looking at them like they were psychopaths. Yusuke's expression didn't change one bit.
'Just how many girls are in this family, anyhow?' he wondered.
Nabiki turned her attention back to Atsuko, "Now, then. When and where did you and my dad first meet?"
Atsuko's head bowed for a moment, as though she was going to nod off.
"This is pointless. I already told you, she's drunk," Yusuke said, scowling.
"Oh? Don't you want to find out if my dad is your dad, too?" Nabiki asked.
Her voice seemed almost mocking. Yusuke glared at her, "No."
"Are you sure?" Nabiki persisted.
Yusuke rolled his eyes, "Yes."
Akane frowned, "Nabiki, leave him alone. You heard what he said. Its a mistake. I don't see why you should keep him and his mother here any longer."
"But," Nabiki started, when Atsuko suddenly stood up.
She was wobbling and laughing, "Bhhhsshhhh kaaaa dorrrr.... At shuh bar!"
Everyone besides Yusuke outright stared at her. Nabiki snapped her fingers. It seemed she was the only one that had noticed that Atsuko's first drunken phrase was the date that Atsuko had met Soun. At the bar must've been the place.
'No wonder he doesn't remember. That was a good while back. That's not too long after... Mother died,' Nabiki thought.
For a moment a pained expression crossed her face, but she quickly regained her composure before anyone could notice. Nabiki confronted Soun with the date and Soun had to admit that he had been at the bar that day to drink away his sorrows. Kasumi and Akane looked a bit hurt, but for their own reasons, they didn't allow themselves to look that way for very long. Yusuke was beginning to get curious.
'Mom has never been this convincing before. Oh whatever. It doesn't matter, anyway. She's still drunk. It could just be a coincidence,' he thought.
"Now, daddy. There seems to be evidence building in Yusuke's mother's favor. You're not deliberately lying to us, are you?" Nabiki questioned.
"No. I guess... maybe we did meet before. I don't know! I can't remember that far back!" Soun cried.
Nabiki smiled in an innocent manner, "It comes with old age, daddy."
Soun went from glaring to the look of someone in denial, "I am not old!"
"Yes, daddy," Nabiki whistled.
Soun crossed his arms and looked like he was about to pout.
'Man, what an idiot,' Yusuke thought.
Nabiki once again directed her attention back to Atsuko, "Perhaps you could tell us something about my dad. Something that perhaps you saw... or he told you, that not many people would know?"
Atsuko laughed maniacally, which scared everyone, even her son, "HEshaaahahahaha.... HAS A SHCAR ON SHIS BUTT!"
The reactions in the room varied. Soun was staring at her wide-eyed. Mr. Saotome's eyebrow rose. Kasumi was shaking her head. Akane was looking back and forth from Atsuko to her father, giving both of them strange looks. Nabiki looked a little disgusted. Yusuke was gaping at his mother.
Akane started gaping at her father and was the first one to speak after a moment of silence, "Is that true, dad?"
"Y-yeah," Soun stuttered.
Atsuko fell to the floor. She started laughing some more before crawling over to Soun and hugging him again. Soun just stared blankly ahead. Nabiki stood up and walked over to him. She bent down and waved her hand in front of his face.
"Hmm. He's fainted," Nabiki announced.
Kasumi frowned and examined her father, "I think father needs some rest, now. Akane, would you help me carry him to his room?"
"Of course," Akane replied.
The two Tendo girls left carrying their father to his room. Mr. Saotome looked at Nabiki, Atsuko, and Yusuke, then he coughed.
"I think I'm feeling ill," Mr. Saotome lied.
He got up and ran away to who knows where. Yusuke wondered what was up with him. As if reading his mind Nabiki said to him in a casual tone of voice, "Mr. Saotome is always running away. Pay no mind to him."
Yusuke shrugged, "Whatever."
"I think the only way to truly figure out if my dad is your father is through a DNA test," Nabiki concluded.
Yusuke yawned, "I don't care. Come on, mom. Let's go home."
"But we... shhhhheeerr... Aboo boo boo," Atsuko babbled.
Yusuke stared at her puzzedly, "What?"
Atsuko suddenly started crying, "WE CAN'T, YUSHUKE!"
"What do you mean we can't? We have enough gas to get us home. I'm driving, by the way. There's nothing stopping us," Yusuke told her.
Atsuko mumbled, "We can't... Hey! Yous can't driiiivvveee."
"I'm willing to bet I can drive better than you," Yusuke grumbled.
Atsuko started crying as she reached into her pockets and pulled out a wad of paper. She handed it to Yusuke. Yusuke started weeding through the wad of paper, unsure of what it was his mom was trying to give him. Secretly, he was hoping she had given him some money out of the wad.
"Hmm. Coupons, coupons... Lint. Picture of me. Newspaper clippings. Hmm? What's this?" Yusuke listed, before something of interest came up.
He read the few papers he had left in his hand. He dropped them in surprise. His eyes were wide open and his jaw had dropped. He looked over at his mother, "Y-you... sold our home?"
"Hehehehehe, yesh. I use moneys to buy sake... lotsh of sake," Atsuko giggled.
She paused in her giggling. Her eyes drooped and then she fell backwards. She had passed out. Yusuke looked at the papers, still in shock.
'I... I can't believe this,' he thought.
Nabiki immediately saw an opportunity, "Oh no. You're homeless."
Yusuke looked up from the papers to glare at her, "Shut up!"
"Hey. Watch it. I could quite possibly be your older sister. Older half-sister, but its practically the same thing, anyway," Nabiki informed.
Yusuke just gave her a sour look.
"Listen, why don't you stay with us? You would have to pay the rent, of course. But the scenery is great here. Plus, there's never a dull moment," Nabiki suggested.
"Pay the rent?" Yusuke wondered out loud.
"Yes. Unless you have any other options," Nabiki said.
'Hmm. Do I have any other options? I'm sure we could always stay at Kuwabara's,' he thought.
He began to vision what that would be like and immediately crossed that option out.
'No way am I going to ask HIM for any favors! The last thing I need is for him to rub that in my face constantly!' he thought.
Then, he wondered if perhaps Kayko would take him and his mother in.
'I'm sure she would. It might be nice living with Kayko,' he thought.
He shook his head.
'No, I can't do that to her and without warning,' he thought.
His face scrunched up for a moment. As though, he was afraid some telepath might be listening to his thoughts, he quickly came up with another reason he couldn't stay with Kayko.
'She'd just nag and nag and nag. Go to school, Yusuke. Quit solving your problems with your fists, Yusuke. Eat your vegetables, Yusuke,' he thought, imagining Kayko saying those things.
He thought some more. Maybe Genkai would...
'No, no, no! I'm not staying with that old hag! She'll drive me nuts!' he thought.
Nabiki tapped her foot, "I'm waiting."
"All right, all right. I don't have any other choice. How much is the rent?" Yusuke sighed.
Nabiki pulled his head close to her and began whispering in his ear. Yusuke's eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"Whoa, whoa! That much? You're joking!" Yusuke exclaimed.
"I don't joke," Nabiki declared.
Yusuke knew his mom wouldn't be able to pay that.
"I don't know if we can afford...," Yusuke began.
Nabiki held up her hand and cut him off, "Then... I guess you're just going to have to get a job."
Yusuke was struck speechless. His only thought was, 'A job?'
"I need some of your blood," Nabiki stated.
Yusuke snapped out of his stupor and narrowed his eyes, "What for?"
"The DNA test," Nabiki told him.
Yusuke shook his head, but decided to give her some of his blood, anyway. He wasn't normally inclined to be so agreeable, but he really didn't feel like ending up on the streets for saying something stupid.
Nabiki started to walk away, but Yusuke stopped her.
"Where should I put her?" Yusuke asked.
"Who?" Nabiki inquired.
"My mom," Yusuke responded.
Nabiki turned around and saw that Yusuke was holding his mother, "Oh, her. Put her in Kasumi's room."
She gave him directions to Kasumi's room. Yusuke put Atsuko on Kasumi's bed and then left to go park the car somewhere. Curious, he opened the trunk of the car. He hoped his mom at least packed their stuff. He was relieved to find that she did.
'Wonder what she did with the furniture?' he wondered.
He noticed a sticky note attached to one of the suitcases. It was in very poor handwriting. Being of poor handwriting himself, though, he was able to read it without too much difficulty.
"Yusuke, sold all the furniture and bought some more alcohol. Love, mom," Yusuke read.
He looked angry for a moment. He slammed his fist on one of the suitcases, but not so hard as to dent it or shatter it into a million pieces. The suitcase popped on to reveal bottles of... sake. Yusuke looked horrified.
'Oh, don't tell me all these suitcases are filled with alcoholic beverages!' he thought.
He opened each suitcase and found that three of them were filled with what he wished they weren't filled with. Luckily, three other suitcases had the important things that they needed. He let out a sigh of relief.
'I'm glad things haven't gotten worse,' he thought.
(Author's Note: I know I got a few other fanfiction that I haven't finished, but I assure you they're all in progress. That note is for my previous readers. Obviously, I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or Ranma 1/2. And for my new readers, to clear up some things, I do know Mr. Saotome's first name... I just haven't gotten it into the story yet. Its just... everybody has referred to him as Mr. Saotome, so the narrator is going to do just that until its cleared up. Anyway, hope you all enjoy the story. This is a multi-chaptered fanfic, so keep your eyes open for ch. 2!)