Disclaimer- I own nothing of Inuyasha, except for the DVD episodes
Forgive Me: Chapter One (Revised)
It was tragic, really. Kagome was obviously in love with Inuyasha. Inuyasha was supposed to realize this eventually, and then they would live "happily ever after," as Kagome says. But months passed and Inuyasha remained oblivious.
At the time, I didn't know how to feel. My heart ached for Kagome. Everyone said that they belonged together; for all their fights, it was plain to see that they cared deeply about each other. I secretly always envisioned them married in a village somewhere, with a hoard of rambunctious, blue-eyed children.
There were times, though, when I would catch myself imagining that it was me Inuyasha married, that I was the one he loved. These wicked thoughts left me trembling with guilt and self-loathing. How dare I have feelings for a man my best friend loved?
My loyalties were torn between Kagome and Inuyasha, but in the end, I decided that I was a friend first and a lover second. Ironically, it was because of this that I could understand how Kagome felt. Her heartbreak and mine were one and the same.
Eventually though, the tears dried, and her heart began to mend. She laughed more often and her smiles were genuine.
Even little Shippo noticed the difference in Kagome.
"Hey Kagome," Shippo said.
The young girl looked up and flashed him a broad smile.
He hesitated, then leapt into her arms and said, "I'm glad you're happy now. It's nice to see you smile again."
Satisfied, the adorable kitsune snuggled into her arms and fell asleep. At a loss for words, Kagome tucked him into her sleeping bag, careful not to wake Shippo.
Kagome stood up quietly and looked over at Sango. Without words, they gathered their things and went to take a bath. Miroku was performing an exorcism in a neighboring village, so they didn't have to worry about the lecher spying on them.
The girls became lost in their thoughts as they walked, their feet automatically knowing the way.
"Inuyasha is off 'checking for demons' again." Kagome mused. "Both Sango and I know that's a lie. The only demons he's going to find are in Kikyo's mouth. Trying not to gag, she turned her mind to other issues. Before she knew it, they had arrived at the hot spring.
As they were getting settled in, Kagome said, "Sango."
"Are you still in love with Miroku?"
"What!" Sango sputtered, "No, of course not! I would never fall in love with that letch! The man doesn't know the definition of the word faithful." She wrinkled her nose and added, "And he is much too… affectionate for my tastes."
They fell into an uncomfortable silence, broken only by Kagome's voice.
"So how long have you loved Inuyasha?"
Sango felt her heart clench in dismay. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said, gaze averted.
Don't lie to me Sango. I see the way that you look at him when you're sure no one is looking. And besides," she added, "I see the way you look at him when he leaves. You look at him like your heart is breaking… The way I used to look at him."
"I'm so sorry Kagome. Because of our friendship, I tried to keep myself from loving him, but I couldn't help it. I've never acted on it though, I swear."
Kagome embraced her. "Don't beat yourself up about it Sango, what could you have done? Love is a powerful force, whether we want it or not. And besides, Inuyasha is just a dear, dear friend."
Sango stared at her with a mixture of disbelief and joy in her normally calm brown eyes. "But, I thought…"
"That I loved him?"
"Well, yes. Everyone thinks so, really."
Sighing, Kagome said, "Well I used to love him, you know that. But honestly, how much can a girl take of being compared to someone else. Call me crazy, but I just couldn't stand waiting around for him to take me seriously as myself."
Seeing that Sango still doubted her, she added, "I promise you Sango, loving Inuyasha doesn't mean that you've betrayed me. He still has a place in my heart, its just no longer the one it used to be. I just want you to be happy. No matter what, you will always have my love and support."
A look of relief flashed across Sango's face. "Thank you, Kagome, for understanding," she said. The tears welled up in her eyes as Sango realized how much she owed this small, slip of a miko.
"Hey, us girls have to stick together," Kagome teased.
Laughing merrily, the two young women got dressed and headed back to camp.
End of Chapter