O Can of Beans

By: Atlantis Blakes

Disclaimer: I regret to inform the world that I do not own any of J.K. Rowling's characters, or the Canadian national anthem.

A/N: Okay, no offense meant by this to any Canadians out there. I just got bored and it happened to be your national anthem that got stuck in my head. It could have been my own. Or New Zealand's. Or China's. You guys are just super lucky because it was yours.

"Oh, God, I'm bored!" Sirius shouted in complaint.

"Well, do something," Remus answered.

"What? What can I do? Snivellus went home for Christmas break. Can't pick on him there, can I? And James is gone to Quidditch practice, so there's nothing left but you. YOU, REMUS, YOU!"

"What's wrong with me? And what were you planning to do with James?"

"I dunno. Bother you. You're leading me in circles."

Remus sighed. "You're leading yourself in circles; I'm just asking questions. Why don't you write something?"

"Are you mad?"

"No, just write something. Something like notes. Notes that you can study."

"You are mad, aren't you? I like it. Fine, I'll dictate, you write," Sirius said leaping to his feet and beginning to pace as he had always pictured leaders like Alexander the Great and Napoleon doing. He wanted to get into what he called "Genius mode" and what Remus called "Stupid mode."

"I'm already doing something," Remus replied to the bossy remark.

"Put it aside. Now, write O Can of Beans..."

Remus wrote: O Can of Beans

"Our Dinner and our Lunch..."


"Just follow my lead... Don't write that, start writing again.... Now. True Barbecue in all the bites we munch..."

"What are you doing?"

"Don't you recognize it?" Sirius asked and with that began to sing in a tuneless manner: "O Canada, Our home and native land, true patriot love in all thy sons command."

"And to think you called me the mad one. Whatever, what next?"

"With glowing hearts we eat you now..."

They carried on in this manner for some time until they were finished. Soon James returned to the dormitories and Sirius handed the paper to him ecstaticly which James quickly read through with curiosity.

"O Can of Beans, Our Dinner and our Lunch

True Barbecue in all the bites we munch

With glowing hearts we eat you now

The Baked beans warm and good

From Black to Green, O Can of Beans,

We stand o'er stoves for thee!

God keep our beans delicious and free

O Can of Beans, we stand o'er stoves for thee!

O Can of Beans, we stand o'er stoves for thee!"

"Remus? Did you write this?" James asked.


"Yes he did. I made him," Sirius replied. "You really shouldn't lie, Remus. Really."