A random idea I got from watching the Terra episodes. Raven-centric. There will probably be some Rae/BB moments, but we shall see. I kinda intended this to be a one-shot. But I think I'll end up making it a lot longer.

They Shall Never Know

Chapter 1-She Can't Feel

They never thought her betrayal would hurt me.

They knew it hurt him, they knew how he cried for her, and they pitied him, felt sorry for him. But they never knew just how much it hurt me.

I trusted her, I welcomed her into my home and she treated me like dirt! But, although I am angry with her, I am angrier with myself. Because I allowed myself to be her friend.

My friends would never know just how sad I was made by this, how much abuse my heart and mind suffered, and they can't know. They just can't.

It wasn't the first time I had been betrayed, it wasn't the first time I have had my trust broken. But it was one time too many. I am not allowed to feel emotions, I am not supposed to be sad, or hurt, or happy, or shy. I am not allowed to be angry, to be depressed, to love. That is my curse. And while Terra's curse might have killed her, mine has left me to suffer.

I don't cry, I don't show sadness. But right now, I need to. If I do not, I fear for myself and those around me. So I am leaving the tower, just for a little while, maybe an hour or two, and I am going to vent all my pain.


I walked though the common room to leave the tower, intent on going outside despite the rain.

"Hey Raven, where are you going?" I heard Robin ask.

"Out." I answered in my trademark monotone.

"In this weather?" Before I could reply, Beastboy cut him off. "Let her go Robin, it's not like she's sad."

I immediately stiffened as Starfire admonished him. "That was not a kind thing to say Friend Beastboy."

"What does it matter? She can't feel hurt anyways."

I opened the door and walked into the rain, not once turning around or saying a word as Starfire and Robin shushed Beastboy.


He's having a rough time I told myself, flying over the water to the nearby forest. I was deserted, and with no human life for miles. It was the perfect place.

'She can't feel hurt anyways.'

That's not true…I can feel. I just can't show it.

'She can't feel.'

I can!

'She can't…'

With a choked sob I fell to the ground, tears fighting to free themselves from my eyes. My powers broke free and trees were ripped from the ground. Rocks exploded and the grass melted as I cried. I knelt there, my hands grabbing the few strands off grass that remained as debris bombarded my body, causing bruises and cuts that bled onto the ground. Lifting up my head I screamed, a long and pain filled scream that no one but a few deer and squirrels would hear.

I screamed for a lost friend, I screamed for a betrayed team, I screamed for a lonely girl who could only cry when there was nobody there to see…I screamed for me.

When I finished my weeping and sobbing, I stood, weary from the tears and the abuse. Making sure none of my torment was visible I levitated back home.


I am sure I attracted some stares upon entering the tower, seeing as I was soaking wet, but I did not look up to greet them. I walked to the kitchen portion of the room and set about making my herbal tea. Silence reigned for a few moments before our 'fearless leader' broke it. "Umm…Raven? Are you okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" I said emotionlessly.


"Well BB said some kinda mean things to you Rae." Cyborg cut in.

"Nothing Beastboy said has upset me." I lied. "I am going to my room."

Swiftly I turned to leave before a gloved hand caught my arm. I winced slightly as it touched one of my many bruises but hid it fairly well. "Rae, umm…I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it Beastboy, I am fine." I said coolly, pulling my arm from his grasp to flee to my room.

Upon reaching my dark refuge I sighed and hovered over my bed. After such a taxing experience I really wanted sleep, but I needed to meditate, it took all I had to control myself down stairs.

Halfway through my meditation I collapsed onto my bed, quickly falling into a deep slumber. One sentence repeated itself over and over in my dreams.

'She can't feel.'


I can't believe I said that to her. I guess I was jealous. Raven didn't feel upset or sad. Or at least she hid it, and I wanted that. I wanted to be able to act like nothing was wrong. So I took it out on her. I said such mean things. And the worst part? I meant them.

Raven has it so good. I know she has that big red ugly dude in her head, but after me and Cy helped her get rid of it Raven's been fine. She never even saw Terra as a friend, so her betrayal and death didn't hurt her. She's her same emotionless self.

It's not fair! I wish I could chant a few words and get rid of my emotions. But I can't, I'm stuck here, thoughts of her whirling through my head. And it hurts, it hurts so much.

Sighing I put my head in my hands, before drawing back to look at them. Thoughtfully I examined the hand that had grabbed Raven's arm. She had winced slightly, as though in pain. I wondered idly where she could have gotten hurt, but I didn't pay much attention. She was Raven; after all, she could take care of herself.

She's so lucky, because she can't feel.


I'm worried about Raven. It's my job to know about my team, because I'm the leader. But I've never known much about Raven, that's just how she is.

Recently though, she's been more distant. She's going on excursions on her own more recently, and I have no idea what she's been doing. When she comes back she's always tired, and she winced when Beastboy touched her earlier. But I can't just ask Raven, she wants her privacy, and she would kill me if I bugged her. I guess it's best if I just left her alone.


I sighed as I worked on my 'baby.' Things had been falling apart since Terra betrayed us. BB of course has been the most affected, and I've done all I can to help the little guy, but he's just too heartbroken. Robin has thrown himself into even more work; even Star's been a little downhearted, making batches upon batches of her 'pudding of sadness.' I've spent more time with the T-car and Raven…well…Raven's fine. I gotta admire the girl, she's so held together. Even all this hasn't seemed to faze her other then she got a little angry. I hate to say it, but what BB said was true, Raven isn't really able to feel.

I sighed, dropping my wrench. That's not true, Raven is not fine. Raven always used to help me with the T-car, but she never does anymore. She spends even more time in her room, hardly even coming down to eat. I didn't even notice it until I was thinking about it right now.

Maybe…maybe Raven is hurt, she's just hiding it better than we are.


I am most saddened by these recent events. The betrayal of friend Terra seems to be hurting our team. Even my pudding of sadness cannot alleviate these feelings of 'doom' in the air.

I am most distressed by what friend Beastboy said to friend Raven. Of course Raven can feel. One cannot be without feelings. I am forced to admit, however, that friend Raven does seem to be unaffected by Terra's actions.

But when I try to meditate with her, she always turns me down. I fear Friend Raven is beginning to act as she did when we first met. She is more reclusive and avoids the team. Oh, how I wish things were normal again. Perhaps Friend Robin can help, if he is not too busy hunting down the 'guys of badness.'


'Heh heh heh…it has begun. She sleeps now, my sweet little nightingale. My sweet little Raven. So much pain she feels, I can erase all that. And soon, my dear songbird, you need never feel anything again. My sweet, sweet Raven. Let the pain consume you, and then, so will I.

Oolala, I like this one. Can ya guess who the last one is? Probably, it's kinda obvious. Poor little Rae-Rae. Please review!!!!!!! I really want feedback!!!!!!!!!!!!!